Letters from A Better Me
90-Day A Better Me Letters Series
Part I: A Journey of Awareness
What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation
Day 6: My Fear of Religion
I believe in you with all my heart. Sometimes in my belief of you I get very confused about whether to love or fear you. Sometimes I get messages to fear you, but that doesn’t make sense to me based on what my belief about what love is. I see you as an unimaginable presence of love. I think that there is so much more to you than any human will ever understand. Through my belief of love and what you are, it doesn’t feel right to judge, persecute, shame, or fear what others think about you. I feel like that is your personal relationship with them. I know that through my confusion with you I have struggled with what you represent, what to call you, and how to interpret different stories I read. How can I expect that others haven’t gone through or are going through the same thing?
I even remember going through times of fearing you so much to think that you were punishing me. I felt like you hated me. Those were the darkest times in my life. I know I had to find my way back to you, not out of any obligation but because it didn’t feel right to be disconnected from you. That was my own personal journey. It wasn’t because of what any book was telling me. I felt like I was rejecting apart of me. I feared my own personal spirituality and had to take a journey to find the path that felt right for me. This journey led me to find so much love. Each time I see love I see you.
I’m choosing not to fear other people’s religious choices because I really would like to be in search of the love within a person’s heart. I want to hear the stories that were passed down to them expressing love and how to treat others with love. I know that I get what I focus on, so fearing religion feels dangerous to me in so many ways. I know there are going to be individuals from every religion and walk of life who are going to choose to walk in fear and therefor hurt others and themselves, but that is because that individual made a personal choice.
If I believe my path to stay connected to you is living life from a loving place, then I need to do my best to engage in loving actions towards myself in others. If others attempt to hurt me, I have to show myself love by creating boundaries and sometimes walking away. If I feel the call to express love in the face of fear, I will trust that you are watching over me and will guide me. I’ve seen more miracles than I can count. I know your power personally. Your love opens me up. My fears shut me down.
Please help me stay in a loving place and help me be aware when my fears about religion and spirituality creep in. My fear of you doesn’t serve anyone. My fear of what others believe in/of you doesn’t serve anyone. My love for you serves myself and all the lives I touch, not because of my personal definition of you, but because my love for you opens me up to show love in my actions. Thank you for lighting a path for me to understand that difference.
With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me
Rachael Wolff © 2019
Companion Piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 6 – The Fear of Religion