Letters from A Better Me
90-Day A Better Me Letters Series
Part I: A Journey of Awareness
What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation
Day 30: Suffering from My Lack of Presence
I’ve been the victim of my past for as long as I can remember. I don’t give people, places, and things a chance because of my fear of suffering like I did before. Then without fail—I suffer! Again and again, I suffer. Obviously my way of protecting myself isn’t working.
My way of obsessing about the future isn’t working either. I’m constantly making myself a victim of some unforeseen event, person, or persons whether it is because of something I watched, read about, heard about, or something from my own fear base. I don’t see anybody for who they are. I see my fears projected onto them.
When I’m not present, I fool myself into thinking I can predict the future. I attach myself and my happiness to people, places, and things instead of finding my joy and happiness in the moment. By doing this, I miss the good stuff and the warnings meant to protect me. I miss seeing amazing sights, enjoying tasty food, and feeling experiences both physically and emotionally.
I have put myself in harm’s way so many times by focusing on what’s already happened or a moment that hasn’t come. I’ve put others in harm’s way over my absence too. There are times I haven’t been paying attention driving, walking, talking, listening, eating, cooking, fishing, hiking, camping, etc. This is not safe.
I can spend so much time not being where my feet are because I’m focused anywhere but right here and now. I see that it’s time for me to become aware of how my lack of presence is affecting the quality of my life. I need to pay attention to the things that keep me from being present.
I commit to becoming aware when my head isn’t focused on the task at hand. I’m ready to look at how my lack of presence is keeping me from the life I want. I’m grateful that I am capable of changing my ability to stay present more often. My awareness is my choice and I choose to live better by becoming more present.
With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me
Rachael Wolff ©2019
Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 30 – Anywhere but Right Here and Now
Have you been reading along with the series? We are getting ready to jump into Part II. Catch yourself up on the Journey of Awareness and enjoy the Journey of Perspective. Thank you for being here now! Take a long deep breath in and out. You are in the now. Enjoy it!