Dear Single Moms,

I was raised by you, and I am you. I see you completely in your struggles and your joys. I know how easy it is to get lost in the title. There have been times when I feel like I have to struggle just because I’m a single mom. I’ve felt alone when I’m around all these families who are showing up for their kids. I’ve felt burdened by having to be both mom and dad in order to protect and nurture my kids’ mental/emotional growth. I’ve limited myself by saying things are hard because I’m a single mom. 

The truth is that it is my choice how I view my life as a mom. I can choose to see the many blessings that come with knowing the way I’ve chosen to parent. I can be grateful for the kindness we have received from the people who want to see my children thrive. I can choose to feel like I matter. My contribution to my kids’ lives matters. 

There are times when I feel like I’m operating in total survival mode, but I survive. There is always a lesson to be learned, and I continue to be better. I’m far from perfect. I can choose to do and be the best I can be. Each of us can make that choice at any moment we choose. We don’t have to listen to people who tell us how hard our lives are, we can change the language. When someone tells me how hard it is to be a single mom, I feel my energy sink. I believe them as I share one story after another letting them know just how hard things really are for me. The question is, do I want to focus on how hard things are and what a struggle it is to be a single mom? The answer for me is no! 

I want my kids to know how loved they are. I want to give them every opportunity I can to experience the best life possible. I’m a single EMPOWERED MOM,I want to put positive energy into my role. I don’t want them feeling like I was bitter or resented them for my position. I’ve been blessed in so many ways. I’ve learned so many great lessons, and I’ve received so much kindness and so have they. We are blessed, not cursed.

I’m choosing to parent a different way. My life is better for the choices I’ve made. The happier I am, the better my kids have it. I’m showing them the example of honoring and respecting yourself. They don’t have to be abused physically, mentally, or emotionally. They don’t have to be around excessive drinking or drugs. They don’t need someone just to be there, they deserve better than that. So did I, which is why I chose this road. We enjoy our lives. Do we have many lessons to learn? Yes, but we all do. I believe we get opportunities to learn what we need to become the best versions of ourselves. That is the legacy I want to pass on to my children. I know God will never give me more than I can handle, and I feel the same way about the lessons God gives them.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me & A Better Mom

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

28 More Days Until the Release of Letter from A Better Me

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