I’m grateful for healthy boundaries. When I learned healthy boundaries, I stopped being a doormat. If you’ve read my book, the first letter I wrote is about a situation that happened to me. After the event happened, I was harassed by this man because I wouldn’t talk with him. He called me names; blared his horn down the road trying to force me to give him attention; and attacked my character to anyone who would listen. Now, if he was willing to take responsibility and be accountable for what he did, I would listen. He didn’t, and that is fine, but there was no further discussion needed. I wasn’t going to get into an I’m right and you’re wrong power struggle. I knew who he was and I trusted everything in my gut that said to walk away. I’ve seen him a few times in the years since and we do not share energetic space. There was no need for revenge, that would have cost me my peace. He didn’t have to believe that I was right about the situation, I felt violated. If you read the book, you will see my instant reaction. I knew that wasn’t going to bring me back to a peaceful place, so I did what was. His opinion of me was none of my business. My healthy boundary was about me taking care of myself.
I’ve had many instances since that one where I’ve been invited to practice healthy boundaries. I know I’m doing good when I don’t feel resentful, used, victimized, and vengeful about my responses to someone else’s behavior. I get tested with family, loved ones, community members, teachers, and strangers. Healthy boundaries are an essential piece of self-care. When we have healthy boundaries, we are telling others that we respect ourselves. Therefore, if they don’t respect us, they are welcome to walk the other way. There is a big difference between healthy boundaries and defensive walls. Defensive walls are made from the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Healthy boundaries are derived from self-care, which is us aligning with love, abundance, and peace. Healthy boundaries aren’t about attacking someone else, they are about taking care of ourselves.
Today, I commit to using healthy boundaries to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. No person can take away our energy of love, abundance, and peace. We are accountable and responsible for our energy. This means to protect our energy, healthy boundaries are necessary. We say no when we mean no, and yes when me mean yes. We give when the giving comes from a loving place, and we don’t if our energy isn’t aligned with the giving. If we give when our energy isn’t aligned with the giving, we take it out on the person we are giving to or someone else. I’ve definitely done this with my loved ones. I’ve said yes, when no was the answer that was best for me. Then I’m reactive, short tempered, and/or angry because I said yes. I’ve had to make so apologies for this one. It wasn’t their fault I said yes when my insides were screaming no. When I choose healthy boundaries, I’m choosing to stay aligned with love, abundance, and peace. I feel good about what I’m doing or not doing. I’m at peace.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
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