A Letter to the Empowered Women of the World

To the Empowered Women of the World:

Thank you for speaking out, when I didn’t see value in my own voice. Thank you for being brave enough to say no more. Your voices were so strong I heard them when I was faced with same old behaviors that I’ve put up with since I was a teenage girl. I heard your voices when I found my voice to stand up and speak out. I pulled from your strength to walk out the door when enough was enough. 

I stand with you now after years of personal growth and strengthening of spirit. Like me, love me, or hate me. It is not my business what others think. It is my business to like, love, and treat myself as good as I would anybody else. I am an empowered woman. I don’t have to be okay with behavior that is not acceptable. I don’t have to have a relationship with anyone who tries to hold me down. That is my right. Each one of us gets to make the choices that we feel are best for our own lives. That is the beauty of being empowered women.

Looking back I’ve seen how far I have come. Thank you for being there at every turn. You showed me my importance as a person, not as a title.  I listened through personal encounters, writings, audiobooks, videos, and meetings of the minds. Thank you for never laughing at my pain. Empowered women represent the best of us showing love and support for one another. Empowered women DO NOT tear each other down. 

We represent what we stand for and contribute our energy towards what we want to see more of in the world. We show up, whether we are family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We show up, not to watch each other fall, but to celebrate each one of us that rises from the ashes and is re-born an empowered woman. We know that our compassion, empathy, vulnerability, courage, hope, and perseverance are our strengths to transform the world into a place we all deserve to live.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020,2017

23 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Order your copy today!

#PerspectiveChallenge: Love Hurts

PERSPECTIVE: LOVE HURTS

I hear this one a lot, and at one point in my life, I would fully agree. First, I want you to think about what your definition of love is where you can say that love is what hurts you. I’m going to get personal with you here because this is obviously a topic that is at the heart of everything that I write about.  

My definition of love used to be so warped that it would include me putting up with unacceptable behavior because I believed it was done out of love. I was in my thirties before I saw that fear is what led all the behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, and feelings that I was or felt hurt by (there is a difference there too). 

I was at my lowest point when I finally heard the call to look up the definition of love. This is what came up:

Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful OR arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, But rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things.

—Corinthians 13.4-13.7

What about that definition has the potential to hurt? Everything that is mentioned about what love isn’t definitely has the potential to hurt. All of those things stem from fear. With that, my perspective that LOVE HURTS shifted to FEAR HURTS. It has even shifted more since those dark days, but the first step for me is giving love back the power it so much deserves. 

Now my definition of love is what anchors me and gives me a measurement of where my thoughts are in the moment. It shows me whether I’m living according to fear-based perspectives or love-based perspectives. We can choose either at any given moment, but if we don’t have a solid definition of love, we can get quickly confused between the two.  

When this perspective shifted, my life started changing. That is when I realized that in order to really live by this definition, I had to treat myself that way. That is when EVERYTHING changed for me. I was FINALLY able to break so many of the old patterns that came with my warped definition of love. Love Lifts is what I believe now. Love connects, and fear separates is what I believe. LOVE HURTS is just fear trying to use love as a cover-up. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE 

Write down all the reasons you believe that LOVE HURTS. Then use the definition above to see it is really love that is making you hurt. Write out as many perspectives of love that feel more true for you than LOVE HURTS. Check-in with your body to see what perspectives feel good and what ones don’t. The shift can feel extraordinary when it really sets in. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

43 More days until the release of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Rachael Wolff: Here’s My Why

MY WHY

I believe that the healthier our thinking is the more good we can do in the world. When we become more conscious of what is going on inside of us, we are empowered to make better choices for ourselves and the world around us. 

I didn’t come up with this belief. It’s been written about for as long as people have been passing down stories. It’s been studied over and over again. Yet, for some reason, the majority of us resist it out of fear. With that, we keep trying to use fear and accept fear-based thinking to guide us. You see this in our social media, news, politics, and daily interactions with others. 

Even though this has been written about time and time again, the way some people try to get us there is through fear.

Since many individuals are stimulated to move and change through fear, why wouldn’t this method work? 

When we do things from a place of fear, we are NOT focusing on the energy we want. We are focused on what we don’t want. Here’s an example, a God-fearing individual might do things because they don’t want to go to hell. That is a fear-driven way to live and when we fail, get lazy, resist, or make a poor choice, our fear kicks in to high swing and we belittle ourselves and start a shame cycle.  We are not worthy of God’s love. We are not worthy of getting into heaven. 

Not all religious practices are driven by fear, and some have changed it’s messages over time. Even with the changes, individuals still will take the route of shame and fear-based living because they are unconsciously living with beliefs that have been passed down from generations even if the belief has been proven unhealthy or false—The beliefs are embedded. This isn’t just tied to religion. This can be tied to ANY belief system we hold. 

WHY FROM A LOVING PLACE?

This is WHY I do what I do, write what I write, practice what I practice, read what I read, etc. This is WHY I named this blog, From A Loving Place and named my book, Letters from A Better Me. My Why represents the work of thinking from a loving place, believing from a loving place, and doing from a loving place. My goal is to help others open themselves up to live from a loving place too. The larger the community we have living from a loving place, the more our conversations will change on social media, in the news, in politics, with each other, and in the world. This is not a fluff or woo-woo conversation. We can choose to live in fear or love at any minute of the day.

What is wrong with our thinking that living in fear has become an acceptable norm and living in love is woo-woo? 

I know I’m not alone in my why. I see it in the social media I focus on. I see it  in the stories and research I spend my time reading. I see it in  many of the people I choose to have in my life. When I feel better about me, understand where my shadows come from, and see the power my light creates—I soar. I then connect to the energy and people who feel this too. It’s amazing how many amazing people have come into my life since I started connecting to my why.

MY JOURNEY

I’m on a transformative journey. I’m open to learn and grow, so I can pass on what works for me. It doesn’t have to work for you. Our whys don’t have to be the same. I have plenty of friends and loved ones who don’t have the same why. What we do have is some of the same joys, laughter, experiences, triumphs, lessons, fears, sadness, humor, sarcasm, love, happiness and sorrows. Those are the things that connect me to others. When I choose to connect and live my why, I feel free within all those connections. I don’t take our differences personally. I know how I want to live, and I know that I’m making my choices consciously. The healthier I am, the healthier my relationships with others are.  I also am clear on healthy boundaries and trusting my gut when I don’t feel comfortable around particular people. It all works together. 

My happiness in my life comes in large part to figuring out my why. My why is what guides me in my daily choices of how I want to be living. It helps me to learn from my fears, and to change what doesn’t work in my life. This doesn’t mean I ALWAYS choose to live in my why.

WHEN I DISCONNECT FROM MY WHY

I learned important warning signs for when and how I would fall out of living my why in a 12-Step program called AL-ANON.

H.A.L.T.

  • Hungry
  • Angry
  • Lonely
  • Tired

H.A.L.T. is a reminder to check-in with ourselves when we are feeling emotionally triggered. It’s the reminder to stop, take a breath, and reflect. When I’m experiencing one or all of these things, it’s a struggle for me to live my why, because I’m irritable. I take other people’s actions personally. I also, play fear-based messages in my mind because my lack of focus is guiding me to unconscious living. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve screamed at my kids, I’ve blamed others, I’ve held personal pity-parties more times than I can count, but I do all of this when I’m lost somewhere in the hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired. I don’t want to take care of myself when I’m there, so I’m not present. I’m defensive and lost somewhere in my unhealed past or the unknown future. My head is definitely not where my feet are. 

When I realize that I don’t like the space where I am, I have HALT to help me find my way out: 

  • If I’m hungry—I eat.
  • If I’m angry—I write, exercise, dance, or talk to someone I trust not to commiserate with me but to help me be responsible and accountable.
  • If I’m lonely—I write a gratitude list, call a friend, hug one of my kids, write a letter to myself, or go do something I love to do.
  • If I’m tired—I sleep and if I can’t sleep, I meditate, get on my Simply Fit Exercise Board, or go outside and walk. 

These are just a few of the tools I use to get me back to living my life from a loving place and showing myself the love that I deserve. This is how I get my thinking to a healthy place, so that I can make the best choices for myself and with that—the world I live in. 

DEFINE YOUR WHY

Take the time to define your why. The how, what, where, when, and who hold more meaning when we allow our why to lead us on our journeys. We start understanding that we have to stumble to learn. We don’t have to let our stumbles define who we are, we can let the lessons we learned be our driving force to make better and wiser choices.

WHAT’S NEXT?

 If you feel connected to what I’m saying, make sure to follow the From A Loving Place blog. You can also follow me on Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace for daily inspiration to help you stay connected to your WHY.

I’m also very excited because I will be speaking in St. Petersburg, Florida at Dream Con on February 29, 2020. This will be my first event after my book, Letters from A Better Me launches in 45 days (Feb.18, 2020).  You will also be able to find me in Atlanta, GA at Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore from 4-6PM on March 15, 2020 for a book-signing event. If you can’t make it to see me in person, the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp’s next session will be available in March 2020. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

Please feel welcome to connect with my on my author Facebook page (click on link to be connected). 

#PerspectiveChallenge: People Can’t Change

PERSPECTIVE: PEOPLE CAN’T CHANGE

What we CHOOSE to believe in our lives is true. It will form our realities and our judgments of ourselves and others. When we believe that people can’t change, in turn we are saying we can’t change. Our advice and communications with others and ourselves will reflect that belief. 

People can’t change allows us to excuse ourselves and others for poor choices:

  • Well, that’s just the way I am.
  • It’s okay, that’s just the way she is. 
  • He can’t help it, that’s just the way he is. 

People can’t change also allows us to persecute others and ourselves while condemning them/us for life. 

  • He will never change. 
  • She is always going to be a train wreck.
  • I’m always going to be a jealous person, that’s just who I am. 

People WON’T change unless they want to more than they want to stay the same. We can’t make anyone else change. We are wasting our efforts when we try to FORCE someone else to change. In order for someone to even want to change, they first have to give up the belief that people can’t change. Then they have to become aware of the things in their lives that aren’t healthy. That is going to look different to each individual. Finally, a person then has to choose to do the work to break all the patterns of belief that are linked to that behavior they are trying to change. It’s not easy, and it takes a lot of effort. The GREAT news is there is a ton of support for who people who want to sincerely change. When a person is open, they will start seeing the ways to change all over the place.

Some people who were raised in trauma and/or chaos are going to have more challenges, because there are more unhealthy and unconscious patterns of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that have to be brought to awareness and untethered from us.  If you are looking at person who is an adult, that is a lot of time they spent believing in the things that make their chaos normal for them. That is A LOT of work. Will everyone choose to change? NO! 

We each have to make our own choices about how we are going to let another individual affect our lives. We have to change and make the choices that are best for us. If that means removing someone from our lives, accepting where another person is, or adding a little distance, that is each individual’s call. If we choose to believe that people can change, we have to be open to the truth that comes with that—for better or worse. This is why it is so important to continue to make healthy choices for ourselves by having healthy boundaries with others.

Brain science has proven we can create new neural pathways and that others can stop functioning. Isn’t that change at the heart of where our ability to change comes from? 

When we prove to ourselves that we CAN change, we become open see that others can too. Our core beliefs are our perspectives of truth. When we open ourselves up to see that we CAN change the ones that create drama and chaos in our lives, we start making different choices. Our brain starts opening up to create new options. BUT, once again remember, we CAN only change ourselves if we want to put in the work to do it. We become others example of possibility, but we cannot force them to make the choice we believe is right for them. What other people do is their journeys; what we do is ours. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Focus on an area of your life where you have given yourself the excuse that you can’t change. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What about the thought/belief is having a negative effect on my life? 
  • What core beliefs do I have that is keeping me making this unhealthy choice in my life? 
  • What is something I CAN do to change the way this belief effects my life? 
  • What are the actions of other people who don’t hold this belief? 
  • What actions can I take right now to open myself up to the possibility of doing this thing differently? (Make the choice a habit by choosing it consciously for a minimum of 60 days). 

Be open to see what changes in your life by shifting your perspectives. 

I believe that I can change, and I continue to consciously choose to change what doesn’t work in my life. This is a lifelong process, and it’s filled with a lot of lessons that turn into blessings along the way. Some people will like the changes I make, and others won’t. I will choose NOT to put my energy there, because when I make the best choices for me, I’m making the best choices for the people who I love and who love me. When I’m not at war with myself inside, I can do more for others in a healthy and productive way. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you are a woman ready to make 2020 your best year, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD is available for pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.  You can find a list of book retailers here.

#PerspectiveChallenge: I’m Stupid, Ugly, and Unlovable

PERSPECTIVE: I’M STUPID, UGLY, AND UNLOVABLE

When we label ourselves, we will do, think, and feel things to prove the label true. When we choose words that coming from someone else would be considered bullying or abusive, we are bullying and abusing ourselves. If it’s normal to treat ourselves that way, wouldn’t it feel normal coming from someone else? Let me answer that for you, YES!!!! If we want to be treated better by others, we have to treat ourselves with the love and respect that we deserve. If we don’t, we can’t expect others to know how we want to be treated. Worse than that, we would think the people treating us better were lying or up to something. Yes, we would self-sabotage the good stuff trying to come into our lives. So, today’s challenge is a VERY important one. 

We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves and what we bring to any given situation. When I stopped abusing myself, my unhealthy relationships with others shifted and changed. Some I happily walked away from, and others were redefined because of the new perspectives I chose to live by. I also started noticing how truly amazing some of the people around me really were, because now I was in a place to accept their goodness. 

What labels are you carrying around that are working against you? Anything that makes you feel small or little is restricting your potential and your ability to have healthy relationships.  If you notice repeated patterns in your relationships with others, it’s time to check-in with how you are treating yourself. 

TODAY’S  PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Make a list of all the negative labels you’ve given yourself and write a positive label that you would like to take its place. If you struggle with accepting the positive label, look deeper and talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Be the friend to yourself that you want to have in someone else.  This one challenge could be the first step in changing the trajectory of your life.  

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you are a woman ready to make 2020 your best year, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD is available for pre-order in paperback, ebook, and audiobook.  You can find a list of book retailers here.

#PerspectiveChallenge: I Hate Mondays

Perspective: I Hate Mondays

One of the greatest ways to find peace is to find where our own perspectives are going against the peace we want to feel. Here is a prime example in a perspective that sets many of our weeks up for challenge and struggle. 

I hate Mondays can also be referred to as: 

  • Mondays Suck
  • Mondays are the worst
  • Can’t we just skip Monday
  • Well, it’s Monday…

When we believe these thoughts, we open ourselves up to focus on everything bad about Mondays. When we focus on everything bad, we attract more bad. Where is the peace in that?

When we become aware of how we are working against ourselves, we become open to make new choices in our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. What you choose right now can set a whole new chain of events in motion, and it all begins with what is happening between our own two ears. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Today’s #perspectivechallenge is to write down at least 5 positive perspectives about Mondays. Then EVERY time you find yourself thinking a negative Monday thought: say, write, and/or sing three positive perspectives. 

Feel free to share some positive Monday perspectives in the comments section.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

  • Mondays are an opportunity to introduce something different in my weekly routine.
  • Mondays give me an opportunity to serve my community.
  • Mondays offer me new learning experiences.
  • Mondays are for finding ways to make work fun.
  • I love Mondays!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order! Order your copy today from one of your favorite book retailers.

Revealing the Transformative Journey of Letters from A Better Me

How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is a transformational guide igniting the empowered women we’ve suppressed for too long. Discover how holding onto all the anger, fear, hate, and separation is keeping us trapped in the ongoing cycle of destruction. The flame has been lit to create positive change. Now is our time to become the best versions of ourselves and have a lasting effect on the world. 

The journey starts with taking a trip into our own darkness. We take off our blinders and become aware of how the attacks on women affect us. Once we are aware, we begin to accept what is and heal from the past. We stop allowing negativity to drive our lives and let loving energy take the wheel.

 Finally, we shift into action and become the positive change we want to see, instead of festering in the anger, rage, and fear of where we have already been.  #Metoo, Rise Up, and Times Up ignited a flame we can’t let go out. Let’s honor the brave women who stood to show the world that mistreating women is NOT acceptable anymore. See how letter writing as a Better Me becomes a contract with yourself to being the best version of you.

The letters shift the negative self-talk and blame into true empowerment. You will release the negative emotional attachments that keep you from the experiencing authentic love, which is the essential energy for lasting change. Show the world what you stand for. Free the empowered woman within you! Empower yourself, change the world!

How Letters from A Better Me Helps the Reader

This book is meant to bring up what is under the surface that is holding the reader back. There are exercises at the end of each section to help the reader process the information and transform toxic thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, and feelings into life-changing energy. The more we see, the more we heal. The key to this process is to be open and honest about what is really going on inside of us. People sometimes wonder why the Law of Attraction, positive thinking, and treating others the way we want to be treated doesn’t work. Letters from A Better Me uncovers the reality of why they are not working for you, and how to make them work.

Right now, many women are consumed by the cycle of fear, anger, and rage reinforced by media and  society. Causes that continue to be driven by these negative emotions will create more separation. The world needs a new perspective that will break the cycle. How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is about inclusion and helping women see where their true power lies. A woman’s internal energy must project the change she wants to see. If her internal energy is immersed with hate, anger, rage, and separation, she will create more of that. If she is filled with love, compassion, passion, and empathy, she will ignite and create lasting positive change in the world. 

How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World follows the belief system that is best explained in a quote by Byron Katie: “The most attractive thing about the Buddha was that he saved one person: himself. That’s all he needed to save; when he saved himself, he saved the whole world.”

Here’s What the Initial Readers are saying about LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME

“Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World provides a powerful roadmap for the journey from suffering to empowerment to peace. Personal and deeply passionate, Rachael Wolff’s perspective-expanding wisdom, and loving insights, serve as an inspirational reminder of the following: “I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard.” 

Bridgitte Jackson-Buckley, author of The Gift of Crisis: How I Used Meditation to Go From Financial Failure to a Life of Purpose

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World takes the reader on a complete journey from the depths of chaos to true empowerment.  You will want to laugh, cry, shout, and chant. It is a must-read for the times we live in. Wolff helps the reader see deep down within to find the spark buried under years of misunderstanding. This is not only a book you will want to read, but a book you will want to pass down to the generations that come after you. 

—Becca Anderson, author of The Book of Awesome Women

“This book takes a creative approach to unfiltered flow writing. Engaging in this personal process can lead to increased empowerment at a time when freeing women’s authentic voices is essential.”

—Marta Ockuly, PhD, President & CEO, Creative Potential Institute, Inc.

“Rachael Wolff’s, Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World gives the reader a powerful historical perspective on the woman as victim, the overt and subliminal messages passed down through the generations and the ways in which women have contributed to their lack of value in the world.  Wolff does not just catalogue these perspectives; she gives the reader a practical and powerful series of exercises to help women let go of their chains of victimhood and claim their roles as architects of their own destiny. So that our daughters won’t have to suffer as we did.  A brilliant analysis and a practical self help book all in one!”

—Norma Greenberg, Founder of Comprehensive College Consulting, Harvard M.A.T., Northeastern University C.A.G.S, Former President of the New England Association for College Admission Counseling, Former board member of the New England Regional Council of the College Board

“This guidebook transports the reader from awareness to action and ultimately victorious transformation. The author helps navigate past stumbling through the rubble of life’s quakes, to a highly accessible path of personal empowerment and joy. If you’ve ever experienced trauma or a harsh slap in your faith while remaining a silent victim Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World gives you the power to finally speak in a brave voice and stand for what you believe in.”

—D.C. Stanfa, author, The Art of Table Dancing  

“I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World. What a FANTASTIC read! Rachael does a wonderful job of guiding the readers to take a look within and explore their own psyche. I love the format of the author’s letters. These spur the readers to dive deeper into their own life experiences and thoughts. This book guides us to dig a little deeper, empower ourselves, and create positive change. It encourages the reader to be kinder and better understanding—which can only be of benefit to humanity. I highly recommend this book for your own bedside table and as a gift for someone you love!”

—Sheila M. Burke, Best-selling author Wall Street Journal and USA Today, I Am What’s Wrong and founder of Being Better Humans

 “I am so impressed with Rachael Wolff and how she has taken what she’s collected along the way and transformed it all into something we can all benefit from!  She is a gift! What Wolff has done in her book Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is create a process that permits us to be open, honest, thorough and vulnerable.  To own the pieces that comprises us.  And through reflection, become our own catalyst for self-change. It takes a plan and it takes practice. An empowered woman knows how to empower other women.  Through the experience exchange we learn to hear clues that are a cry for help—first in ourselves, and then our sisters.  Wolff has created a model that could very well break a cycle of good intentions and instead, lead to change.”

—Kristie Kindstrom, Vice President Wealth Solutions Raymond James, Co-chair of Women’s Interactive Network at Raymond James inspiring women’s professional and career development

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order at some of your favorite on-line book retailers: Amazon, BAM, Barnes & Noble, and Indiebound.org. You can order right from here. You can also add Letters from A Better Me to your “Want to Read” list on Goodreads.

Were you were thinking that this would be the perfect gift for a friend, loved one, neighbor, co-worker, and/or charity?

Letters from A Better Me comes out on February 18, 2020, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give it as a gift before then. Here are some gift giving ideas:

  • Get a journal and inside the front cover write a note that includes that they will be receiving their copy of Letters from A Better Me in February.
  • There are many places on-line and even in Microsoft Word that you can make your own gift certificate.
  • Buy a little memento with an encouraging message and write in a card letting them know they be receiving their copy.
  • Do you want a personal note from me? Send me an e-mail at lettersfromabetterme@gmail.com and in the subject line write “PERSONAL NOTE”. Attach a picture of your pre-order confirmation and send me the name of the recipient. I will email you a printable PDF with a personal note.

Do You Want to Read Something Now While You Wait?

You can pass the time reading the 90-Day A Better Me Series right here to get you started on the transformation. Thank you for all the support! If it weren’t for my readers, this book would still just be a dream in my head. Let’s make 2020 the best year yet!

A BIG thank you to my agent, Tina Wainscott (The Seymour Agency). Your belief in this project and me is why we are here today. Also, I want to thank the Mango Publishing team. I have enjoyed working with each and every person at this amazing company. There is a reason they are the fastest growing independent publisher. I’m so excited to be on this journey with you all.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff #LettersfromABetterMe

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: The Yamas & Niyamas

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Sometimes we are taken on unexpected journeys. A few years ago, I went on a yoga and hiking retreat in Sedona, AZ. During the retreat, we were given the book, The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele. Before this journey, I knew the benefits of the breathing and stretching of yoga, but I had no idea how deep the practice actually went.

If I hadn’t gone on this retreat, I wouldn’t have sought this book out, because I didn’t know what I didn’t know. As I read the book, I wrote in the margins, underlined, and highlighted. With one read the book is well marked with inspiration, hope, connection, and faith.

Within the pages were concepts I knew just spoken from a different perspective of truth. Knowing that helped me to open up so much wider. I started to connect so much of what I’ve been practicing into my physical movements, which was a skill I hadn’t yet learned to do. Now, when I do the physical act of yoga, it carries so much more meaning.

As I said, a good chunk of the book is marked up, so for this quote I just went with a powerful message that stood out as I flipped back through the pages.

Favorite Quote from The Yamas & Niyamas

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“As long as we think satisfaction comes from an external source, we can never be content. Looking outward for fulfillment will always disappoint us and keep contentment one step out of reach.”

-Deborah Adele, The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, p. 121.

Thank you to all the people who have been reading the Feel-Good Friday Book Series. This is the 9th book, and it feels like it’s time to stop. You will still continue to see quotes from the books I love along the way, but I’m being led to do something else now. I urge you to come along on the journey. Make sure you are following via email to get the latest posts and news. Enjoy your journey, and trust the books that come to you along the way. They may just have what you need to give you seeds to thrive.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Power

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Power

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi was one of THE most important books I ever read to complete my healing from narcissistic abuse. For me, it was the final piece of the puzzle that I couldn’t understand. I had no idea how calculated narcissistic abuse was. She would say thing that were said to me verbatim. All the research studies I read didn’t cover that. I remember listening to the audiobook and just sitting there with my mouth opened as I listened to what seemed like old memories. Arabi helps the reader detach from the part of ourselves that wants to play rescuer, at least that is what she did for me.

After reading this book it was much easier for me to stick to my healthy boundaries and create a healthy distance. When I was coming out of the haze of narcissistic abuse I had a lot of resources I was using to build my self-worth, heal, and find my inner peace. So many of the tools I used were mentioned in this book, which is why I recommend it to ANY person coming out of or still in a relationship with someone who could possibly be a narcissist or sociopath.

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse is available on audiobook and paperback and I have both. If you are the beginning of your recovery, you will definitely want to read this book multiple times. My wish is that people read the book all the way through because there are so many jewels of wisdom throughout and it will help you thrive if you do the work.

There were many passages in this book that gave me seeds to thrive, so picking one quote is very challenging. I keep going back and worth on which one to do. So here’s what I landed on, because this was the piece of the puzzle that was missing from my recovery before reading this book.

Favorite Quote from Power

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“It’s not that they can’t help it, or that they’re utterly helpless to their disorder—it’s that they selectively choose which victims to devalue and discard, and those victims ten to be loved ones.”

-Shahida Arabi, Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, p. 99

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Healing the Shame that Binds You

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Today I picked a book that got me to the core of my deepest darkest obstacles that were holding me down, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. I remember feeling so desperate to find out why I kept repeating patterns that kept me in unhealthy situations. I had been reading, studying, going to therapy for years, and I didn’t realize how powerful the shame was that I felt. I didn’t realize it was the shame that kept me sabotaging the good in my life. Reading this book and putting all the pieces together helped me to see how important it was for me to forgive myself and re-evaluate the beliefs that were keeping me hostage to my shame.

I read through the book, then listened to the audiobook probably three times in a row. I wanted to REALLY release the shame that was creating so many obstacles in my life. When we look at the shame, we heal it. The only way shame survives is if it remains a secret. Bradshaw shows the reader how to release the shame and strip it of it’s power. It really is that powerful of a book if you are open to do the work.

Even though I didn’t agree with everything he wrote, it didn’t matter because what did resonate was huge! We each have to decide what feels right and what doesn’t. A person can have perspectives we agree with and ones that we don’t, it’s our job to plant the seeds we want, and leave the rest for someone else if that is what feels right for them.

Bradshaw really did teach me to heal the shame that was binding me, but I could only do that because I did the work using the tools he gave me. If you have toxic shame, do the work. It is worth it! It has benefited my life in so many ways and helped me to establish healthy relationships with myself and others.

Favorite Quote from Healing the Shame that Binds You

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“Without total self-love and acceptance, we are doomed to enervative task of creating false selves.”

John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You, 1988

With Love & Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements