I’ve been listening and observing what’s going on in me and the world around me. These are my perspectives on what I’m seeing. Hate, no matter where it is aimed, is still hate. I can see this in every area: race, gender, religion, intimate relationships, familial relationships, workplace, law enforcement, politics, economics, sexual preferences, community, the list goes on. Hate is hate!
Hate divides, separates, and causes horrible devastation wherever it touches. Hate destroys the person who is feeling it too. Think of the way our bodies respond to hate in just one day. I feel like my head is going to turn to flames and my chest is going to explode. Now, imagine that hate festering inside you for months, decades, and centuries for people who have had the hate passed down from generation to generation. When we project out hate, it often lands on the people closest to us. Hate destroys relationships, communities, countries, and the environment.
Love is love. Love opens people’s ability to see a person behind the category or title (including ourselves). Love allows space for connection, compassion, and forgiveness. No group, category, or label own love. Love can be felt by any individual who is willing to be vulnerable enough to look in the mirror and embrace their own beautiful being. Love is the purest light within in our souls. The path to seeing love lies within us, and we only can project out unconditionally (which is the only authentic love) when we see and love ourselves.
We have to know love from the inside in order to see and recognize it in someone else. Love is a gift that keeps on giving. We sabotage anything we don’t feel worthy of. We have to know we are WORTHY of love by giving it to ourselves. If we depend on the outside world to give us love, when that love goes wrong it can quickly turn to hate because that love isn’t coming from a solid foundation. Love is solid when it comes from within.
Hate suffocates love. When I see people lost in their hate, I feel for them. I have compassion for them. I pray for them. Their hate doesn’t dampen my love. If I feel like I am taking on their energy, I have to remember that I am responsible and accountable for the energy inside me. If I’m that person projecting hate, I pray for me, and feel compassion for me. If I don’t want hate inside me, I have to do the work to return my energy to love. That can mean:
- Set healthy boundaries for myself
- Stop watching, following, and engaging in things that trigger feelings of hate
- Remove myself from a person’s life if their energy feels dangerous to my well-being
- Seeking justice by reporting wrong-doing even if it is within a group I am connected with
- Meditate more to restore my sense of calm
- Write out my feelings fully to be able to see them and work through them
- Find a professional or a HEALTHY person/group to talk to who will help me move away from the feelings of hate
- Remove myself from groups that amplify the energy of hate
- Find a physical outlet to work through hate and/or rage’s physical hold on my body (swimming, punching bags, trampoline, dancing, physical excursion, lifting weights, basketball, “Dammit dolls”, punching pillows, etc.)
- Take deep breaths in and fully release them, because we hold our breaths when our energy is tensed up. That is NOT good for our brain or body function.
If my energy is attached to the hate in anyway, it becomes my problem. It is my job to fix whatever is inside of me that is not aligned with how I want to be living. It is my responsibility ALONE to change the energy that is moving through me. My life and the lives of the people I love are going to be affected by the energy I’m carrying around with me.
Even with all I’m aware of, studied, observed and practiced, I’m not perfect. I still have to do the work and be reminded that I’m responsible and accountable for the energy that moves through me. I still have conversations with my kids that involve how they saw something I did or said differently than what was intended. That is within my own home!! Let that serve as a reminder. People will only ever see us through their perspectives of truth (beliefs). We will only ever see others through our perspectives of truth. The question is: How do you want to see yourself and the world around you? Choose perspectives of truth that define how you want to live your life. Love is a CHOICE! Hate is a CHOICE! If someone else chooses to hate, that is on them. I know their is a lot of love in the world. I want to amplify and align with that energy, because that CHOICE feels ABSOLUTELY AWESOME to me.
With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,
Author of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World
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