When Life Gets Messy Declutter

Whether life gets messy in your own heads or around us, the process of physically decluttering our lives is cathartic. When we declutter, we make room for peace. We also make room to open new doors, and see the importance of closing doors that no longer serve us.

One of the most obvious examples I have of how this works is my own bed. When I was fearful and not ready for any real relationship, I cluttered my bed with my art, research, books, and writings. I made just enough space for me to sleep, but not even straight. As I started doing the work I needed to do to open myself up, I actively decluttered my bed. Slowly, I cleared the way all the clutter and sharp edges. I made room for love to come in…and it did.

Make space for the life you want. When we declutter both mentally and physically, life becomes less messy and more consciously designed.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

24 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

For other purchasing options, go to https://fromalovingplace.com/book/.

Bring your Dreams to the Light

Wake up your dreams by moving towards them. Bring them to the light. Take one step right now that will bring you closer. If we want to live in the light of our dreams, we have first create the light by our actions. Only then will we have enough light to see where we are going.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

34 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

#PerspectiveChallenge: People Suck

PERSPECTIVE: PEOPLE SUCK

There is a difference between not liking a particular person’s choice and the belief PEOPLE SUCK. When we tell ourselves and/or anyone who will listen that people suck, we are asking the Universe to show us the people who suck. We put our focus on seeing it. There could be an unhealthy person making poor choices and a healthy person making positive choices, and guess who we will put our energy on? 

We see this every day in social media. There are people who are constantly seeing and spreading their belief that people suck, alongside the people who celebrate the amazing acts of humanity in the world. In honesty, what sucks is our perception when we believe the thought—people suck

People can and will make poor choices when they have unhealthy perceptions of themselves and the reality they are living in. We each have to make the choice if we will allow our thinking to benefit our lives or cost us our peace. We are only ever one healthy perception away from making a positive change in our life. 

When we believe people suck, we are giving ourselves permission to suck too, because last I checked, if you are reading this it qualifies you as a person. I don’t believe that you suck. 

I believe that each person makes choices that have NOTHING to do with me. Just like I make my own choices on what I think, believe, perceive, and do. No one can MAKE me believe anything that doesn’t feel true to me. Hence, I focus my energy on the amazing heroes in the world. Those are tears I LOVE shedding watching the power of humanity shine through.

When someone makes a choice that hurts themselves and/or others, I want you to take a second to go deeper. This is a sick person making a sick choice. This is not a representative of all the humanity in the world. Don’t let their negative choices pull you down into their energy field. Because I guarantee you, they think people suck too. Someone who is acting in a healthy manner doesn’t try to take another human down or want to be tied to low energy. Their energy field actually won’t even allow it to happen—like attracts like. People making healthy choices process information in healthy ways. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Go on the Internet and look into acts of kindness, humans being better humans, humanitarian causes, inspirational websites and pages, along with acts of forgiveness. If you want to see the best in humanity, you have to put your focus there. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Continuous Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

37 More Days until the release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!

Differences between Taking Responsibility and Blaming

Learning the differences between taking responsibility and blaming was one of the most powerful tools I’ve learned to live a fulfilling life. Now, I’ve been getting lessons on this one since I was a teenager. I think my mom’s favorite lines were, “I can’t make you do anything.” Along with, “I can’t make you feel anything.” She helped me to see (while fighting, dragging, and clawing to hold onto blame) that I have more power than I was giving myself. What took me a lot longer to figure out was the difference between taking responsibility versus self-blaming. I would self-blame relentlessly to the point of suicide attempts. 

For someone in the stage of contemplating suicide knowing the difference can mean life or death. For someone who is so full of rage over someone else’s poor choices, it can be what gives them the power to rise above and take care of their own energy, so that they are not dragged down to respond with violence. 

We can’t MAKE anyone do anything to serve the highest good, but we can choose to be responsible for what we are doing. Our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions matter, so taking care of those can and will make a difference in how we CHOOSE to live our lives. Being able practice this tool means first understanding the differences between responsibility and blaming.

Here are some of the differences:

  • Taking responsibility opens our minds to possibilities of solutions and change. Blaming creates wars both internally and externally while focusing on the problem instead of the solution.
  • Taking responsibility takes down defensive walls, while blaming builds them.
  • Taking responsibility empowers us to be human while celebrating it and learning from it. Blaming disempowers us.
  • Taking responsibility is healthy, which includes healthy self-talk and healthy communications with others.  Blaming is unhealthy and can include abusive thinking and/or actions towards ourselves and others. 
  • Taking responsibility involves aligning with positive energy. Blaming buries us in our own darkness.
  • Taking responsibility focuses on what we want. Blaming focuses on what we don’t want.

Taking personal responsibility involves being aware of how our thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions affect our choices. Once we become aware of our part in any choices that had a negative outcome, we open ourselves up to make better choices in the future. We give others a tool on how to work with us better in the future, even if the future is within minutes away. Taking responsibility takes the toxic weight of blame and shame out of the room. 

Blaming is the foundation of toxic problem-solving. When we use the negative energy of blame to come up with solutions, our energy is working against us. Our focus is in the problem, which tends to create more problems. This works the same inside us as it does outside of us. When we hold onto negative energy of someone else’s choices, we are responsible for that energy. We are responsible for feeding the beast.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean it’s all your fault, it just mean you see where you can do better. There is no self-abuse. 

Sometimes we just have to ask ourselves

  • What perspectives, thoughts, and beliefs am I holding that are contributing towards and energy I don’t want?
  • How can I change what isn’t working?
  • What actions can I take to remove myself from unhealthy people making unhealthy choices?
  • How do I stand up for what I believe without putting my energy into what I’m against?
  • What did I do to confuse this situation? What can I do to fix my part?
  • What can I contribute to a positive solution?
  • What choice in actions will make me feel better about what happened?
  • How do I keep my side of the street clean?

What other people do is there business. You only have to consider the energy flowing through you and what you want that to look like. Nobody else’s poor choices are worth us going down internally with them. Our minds, bodies, outlooks, and beliefs can be empowered or disempowered and the choice is ALWAYS ours. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

38 More Day Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Love or Fear: The Straw-Hole Experiment

Over a decade ago, my friend Sarah gave me this image of us having a straw-holed vision of what is going on. A few years later, I took that image a step further and used it to create a visual example in a group project about the power of where we put our focus.  I’ve used this example in my 90-Day A Better Me Series and now I want to bring it to you. 

WHAT YOU NEED TO CONDUCT EXPERIMENT

Whether you use a metal straw or plastic straw, your hand to make a straw-sized hole, or the zoom feature on your phone, use what you have in front of you. The power of this experiment comes from doing it. 

DIRECTIONS

I want you to take out whatever you’re using and look at the two images below. Start off as close as you can on the image of your choice then slowly pull back.

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS

  • Which image did you find yourself focusing on from the closer positioning?
  • What word was the center of your focus?
  • How much could you see around where you put your focus?
  • How much did you have to zoom in to see each and every word in the image?
  • Could you see the other image at all when your focus was on reading the words?
  • Could you focus on both images at the same time?

PULLING BACK TO GAIN PERSPECTIVE

  • How much more could you see?
  • Where was your focus?
  • Which words are you continuing to focus on?
  • Could you focus on both images at the same time?
  • Which image pulls your focus in?
  • How much could you see around where you put your focus?

IN CONCLUSION

No matter what we are looking at in our lives, we only have a very small view of the big picture. If we are focused on love/ hope it’s harder to focus on fear/ lack and vice versa.

The best we can do for ourselves and the world around us is try to pull our straw back from whatever we are focusing on to see a slightly bigger picture, then move the straw around to gain perspective on what we haven’t looked at and/or don’t understand. 

Once we gain the perspective, we can put so much more wisdom into where we choose to put our attention. 

We will never have a full picture view on anything in life. We can simply create perspectives of truth from whatever we are focusing our attention on.  Those perspectives will be based in love or fear, never both at the same time. Whichever we choose will create the straw-holed view of our focus, which we will be how we view our reality.

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

41 DAYS UNTIL LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME IS RELEASED!

Have you ordered your copy yet? Learn more on GoodReads.com OR order your copy from one of your favorite on-line retailers listed on this page.

If you want the latest news and watch me as I get my first author copies, please like and follow my author page on Facebook. I will be announcing the upcoming Facebook Live in the weeks to come. 

Here's What's Coming

FEBRUARY 15, 2020

Audible’s release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME from Blackstone Publishing

February 18, 2020

PAPERBACK AND EBOOK RELEASE DAY

Letters from a Better Me from Mango Publishing Paperback and E-Book release date. Go to Goodreads.com to see available on-line retailers.

February 29, 2020

I will be leading my Becoming the Butterfly Workshop at Dream Con St. Petersburg, Florida

March 15, 2020

Book Signing at Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore Atlanta, Georgia

APRIL 5, 2020

Book Signing (Local Authors Event) at Barnes & Noble in Ft. Myers, Florida

APRIL 18, 2020

Book Signing (Local Authors Event) at Barnes & Noble in Naples, Florida

#PerspectiveChallenge: Love Hurts

PERSPECTIVE: LOVE HURTS

I hear this one a lot, and at one point in my life, I would fully agree. First, I want you to think about what your definition of love is where you can say that love is what hurts you. I’m going to get personal with you here because this is obviously a topic that is at the heart of everything that I write about.  

My definition of love used to be so warped that it would include me putting up with unacceptable behavior because I believed it was done out of love. I was in my thirties before I saw that fear is what led all the behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, and feelings that I was or felt hurt by (there is a difference there too). 

I was at my lowest point when I finally heard the call to look up the definition of love. This is what came up:

Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful OR arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, But rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things.

—Corinthians 13.4-13.7

What about that definition has the potential to hurt? Everything that is mentioned about what love isn’t definitely has the potential to hurt. All of those things stem from fear. With that, my perspective that LOVE HURTS shifted to FEAR HURTS. It has even shifted more since those dark days, but the first step for me is giving love back the power it so much deserves. 

Now my definition of love is what anchors me and gives me a measurement of where my thoughts are in the moment. It shows me whether I’m living according to fear-based perspectives or love-based perspectives. We can choose either at any given moment, but if we don’t have a solid definition of love, we can get quickly confused between the two.  

When this perspective shifted, my life started changing. That is when I realized that in order to really live by this definition, I had to treat myself that way. That is when EVERYTHING changed for me. I was FINALLY able to break so many of the old patterns that came with my warped definition of love. Love Lifts is what I believe now. Love connects, and fear separates is what I believe. LOVE HURTS is just fear trying to use love as a cover-up. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE 

Write down all the reasons you believe that LOVE HURTS. Then use the definition above to see it is really love that is making you hurt. Write out as many perspectives of love that feel more true for you than LOVE HURTS. Check-in with your body to see what perspectives feel good and what ones don’t. The shift can feel extraordinary when it really sets in. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

43 More days until the release of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

#PerspectiveChallenge: Money is Evil

PERSPECTIVE: MONEY IS EVIL

If anything guarantees you a horrible relationship with money, it’s telling yourself and the Universe that money is evil. If money is evil, anytime you have money you will sabotage it staying in your life. If money is evil, you make excuses for some people’s poor choices and look past others kind and loving choices that involve money. 

  • Is money evil or is some people’s relationship to money evil?
  • Do some people who have money give themselves the excuses to do evil because they believe that money is evil
  • Is the reason you resist being financially successful tied to your belief that money is evil?
  • If the reason why you can’t seem to hold onto money because you don’t want to let it’s evil rub off on you? 
  • Is the belief that money is evil hiding a bigger set of destructive beliefs?
  • These are all questions to ponder when we challenge the perspective of thinking that money is evil

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Investigate your relationship with money. Get personal with yourself to discover your beliefs around money. Do the work to heal any negative perspectives you hold that could be keeping you from having a healthy relationship. I can promise you—money won’t do anything to you, it’s a piece of paper. You are the only one that holds the key to healing any relationship you have with it. Whatever energy you put into it, you will get back. What energy do you want to put into that piece of paper?

  • What comes up for you when you think the thought money is evil
  • How is your relationship with money?
  • Does money always show up when you need it?
  • Do you have everything you need to survive this moment?
  • Do you focus on the choices that unhealthy people are making and blame it on having too much or not enough money? 
  • Do you do things in fear of not having enough money?
  • When you think of money, where do you feel it in your body? Do you feel light or heavy inside?

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

46 Days until Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World can be delivered to your door. 

Upcoming Events

Speaking – “Becoming the Butterfly” (1 of 6 speakers)

Dream Con/ St. Petersburg, Florida on February 29, 2020

Book signing 

Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore/ Atlanta, Georgia on March 15, 2020 from 4-6pm

Letters from A Better Me: Hello 2020

Hello 2020, 

I’m writing to tell you that I’m ready for you. I’ve come to the place where I know that whatever comes my way is an opportunity to learn and grow. Whether I’m celebrating triumphs and successes or learning from chaos and confusion—I’m open and willing to experience what you have to bring me. 

Today is a one-day in the 366 days you have to offer. Each day, I will have the ability to take what I learned and start fresh. Every evening, I will have the opportunity to sit and reflect on the choices I made that day. I’m choosing to learn from what doesn’t work and what doesn’t feel good. I’m choosing to appreciate everything that DOES work and DOES feel good. 

With my eye on gratitude, and keeping with the energy I want to see more of—I thank you for giving me this day. I thank you for the beauty of the sunrise and oxygen that fills my lungs. 

I’m so grateful for my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my nose to smell, my hands to touch, my arms to extend, my legs to walk, my soul to love, and my taste buds to enjoy the foods Mother Earth provides. This is only the beginning of what I’m grateful for today. 

The relationships in my life, both past and present, provide me with everything I need to give me strength, perseverance, hope, courage, compassion, empathy, joy, sadness, along with tons of opportunities to shine my best light and learn from the darkest corners of my soul. The love and fear I’ve experienced and learned from are what prepares me to be the best version of me today. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Let each day lead you to your greatest transformation yet!

Rachael Wolff ©2020

47 days until the release of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Pre-order your copy today here or from one of your favorite book retailers in paperback, ebook, or audiobook for you or someone you love.  You can also join others on GoodReads.com by putting it on your “Want to read” list. 

2020 Commitment to Living Life as a Better Me

Happy NEW YEAR!

The last two years I’ve committed to a focus. Last year, I launched the 90-Day A Better Me Series, which I wrote every day for 90 days. The year before, I focused on creating a vision of what I wanted in my life. I made a vision board and took steps to commit to my dreams.

The last two years my dreams have been coming true from publishing my first book, which will be out February 18, 2020 and getting back into public speaking. February 29, 2020, I will be speaking at Dream Con in St. Petersburg, FL. I have to contribute much of what has happened in my life to focusing my energy on the things I want in my life. 

I’m starting my year in healthy and happy relationships with my partner, teenagers, family, and friends. Life is good, so this year’s focus is keeping it that way. I’m committing staying on track and doing the work it takes to live a purpose-filled life. 

I will being counting down to the book release with a daily posts to commit to the amazing feeling I get when I write daily. What I’ve discovered is when I stay committed to this—GREAT things happen! Becoming a better me takes work and if I’m not willing to do the work, positive change won’t last, and I for one am done sabotaging my happiness by falling back into old patterns. 

I hope you will join me on this journey by staying committed to your dreams and doing the daily work it takes to keep you on track. Let’s make 2020 the year of dreams coming true! Are you ready?

48 DAYS until Letters from A Better Me is available for delivery! Make sure to pre-order your copy today in paperback, ebook, or audiobook.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020