Who Is My Reader?

When I was asked in the marketing meeting about who I wanted to read my book, I thought every woman could get something out of it, since it covers romantic relationships, family, parenting, career, spirituality, addiction, unhealthy belief systems, and all things self. I also thought men could gain a lot of understanding and get a lot from it too, because it would not only give them tools, but help to better communication and empower themselves to make positive change in their lives.

For those who struggle in any unhealthy belief patterns, it gives tools to get out. For those who are healthy, it may help them see how their belief systems help them and give them a better understanding of those who struggle.

The book celebrates authentic empowerment. “Empower Yourself, Change the World!” When we see our own value, we lift others up and don’t tear them down. Authentic empowerment comes from love not fear. It’s about representing what we stand for and not putting our energy into what we are against (VERY IMPORTANT in today’s climate).

The marketing team said I needed to narrow it down to the one reader. Who was the one person I wanted to get through to with my book? I had the picture of the exact person in my mind. I want to get to the woman who is stuck in patterns of abuse, whether it be self-abuse or abuse from others, because self-abuse tends to lead to abuse (mental, emotional, or physical) from either bosses, partners, children, etc. We can accept from others the level of abuse that we give to ourselves.Some unhealthy patterns were passed down so unconsciously that we have to dig down to see them.

The book deals with what belief systems got us into the patterns that get us to act against ourselves in our lives and how to change them. There are so many reasons a person can choose to pick up the book, but if I can help that one person see their value and give them the tools to lift themselves out of living a life they are not passionately in love with, I’ve helped to make the world better.

When we help others see their best selves, it creates an unstoppable ripple effect. I would have never been able to write this book, if I didn’t have every experience I did, read every book that I did, and believe everything that I did. I’m continuously learning how to better myself, and I will until my journey here is done. With that, I’m able to continually give others seeds to help lift them as I get lifted.

At the time of this post, March 3, 2020, it’s been two weeks since Letters from a Better Me has been out and a little over that for the audiobook, and the audiobook is still in the Top 100 for Domestic Partner Abuse (link). My heart feels full knowing that people are getting the seeds I’m giving. I hope they choose to plant them and that they flourish into beautiful flowers. Life is precious, we each deserve to live lives we love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

You can choose from one of your favorite book retailers here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Amazon has the book on sale at the time of this post, and it’s the only place to get the audiobook (Audible).You can see a preview of the book and a sample of the audiobook when you click on the link below.

Voting for Humanity

Dear Voters,

I respect your right to choose what matters to you. I respect your right to make decisions according to your beliefs. Beliefs are perspectives of truth, and I have them too. Mine may be different than yours. That doesn’t make you better or less than I am. We might have been raised VERY differently or experienced VERY different realities, so the things that matter to me may not matter to you and vice versa. This doesn’t mean that one of us is ALL right and the other is ALL wrong. 

We can use our differences to create a better world, but not by condemnation of the other. That is how we stay separated. Separation is how we end up supporting corruption on both sides. If we spread hate, we are supporting more hate, crime, oppression, fear, chaos, and misery.

None of us are perfect. No one makes all the right choices. When we are open to see that truth, we learn and grow from life’s lessons. How does anyone expect a large political party to serve us perfectly when each individual is imperfect? Each person’s perspectives of truth vary from person to person based on how each of us chooses to live in our own minds. Our perspectives are our power or our prison.

When we support what we are against having more of, we feed the chaos. When we support what we want to see, we are holding the vision and energy of positive change. If my vision is to see a UNITED country, my perspectives must be aligned with supporting unification. This doesn’t mean focusing on our differences, it means working within our differences and being open to see all sides, not just my own. This definitely doesn’t mean I will agree, but when I’m open to at least go a little deeper, I open the opportunity to find something that sparks a positive compromise. A balance that lifts us, and creates space to grow.

My hope is that our humanity wins. For that reason, I will choose to do my best to serve my country with love and respect for all. My choices will reflect what I want to see more of in the world.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2018 

#humanityWins

2 Days Until the Paperback and Ebook Release of Letters from A Better Me!!

Audiobook is available NOW on Audible!

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Committing to Live Life Fully: A Letter from A Better Me

Dear Life, 

I’ve officially decided, I’m going to live you to the fullest. I’m tired of being scared of what the future holds and drained from my past mistakes. I’m finally going to forgive myself for all the times I didn’t know better and start living. 

I know longer want to be envious over what adventures other people are taking or come up with excuses why I can’t do it. I’ve been putting so much negative energy out there that the good stuff stays just out of my reach. No more! 

Today, I will shift my energy towards gratitude and keep track of the things I’m grateful for. I will make a daily effort to be happy for others who are experiencing and living their best lives. I will look for encouraging uplifting stories instead of ones that focus on hate, gossip, and keeping others down. I will live!

I’m focusing my attention on the choices I’m making to guarantee they are aligned with the life I want. I’m done beating myself up. I’ve had it. I can’t take my own abuse anymore. I don’t deserve it. When I look in the mirror, I will see a person who is living their life the best they can. I would be happy to see anyone I love doing that, so I need to do that for me. 

Looking around at a home full of clutter, I realized I don’t need all this stuff. I want memories and adventures. How can I have money for these things and not for memories? I’m going to start small by looking at local things to do. I’m going to see what my own town offers such as trails, gardens, sights, historical locations, and entertainment. Then, I will let that energy build up into bigger adventures. I know the possibilities are limitless once I stop blocking the fun from my life. 

Please send me friends with adventurous spirits to help keep me on this amazing path.  

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

9 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

Letting Go of Past Relationships

Dear Past, 

I’m letting you go of my attachment to you. I’ve let you hold me back for far too long. I will take the lessons you taught me without the attachments to the fear, anger, and pain. I’ve ruined too many relationships treating people like they were the people before them and that’s not fair. Trust has been non-existent, and then I wonder why they leave. I have sabotaged so many relationships by not giving them a chance. 

I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to be able to treat situations, people, and events as new adventures. I’ve confused trusting my gut with trusting my fear from repeating the past. I get signs of red flags, but instead of listening to them I’ve tried to manipulate them into swinging in a different direction. Really, what I was doing is try to fix past relationships. They didn’t work and neither will one that is full of red flags.

I’ve finally learned that it is better to be alone than in a relationship without trust. I don’t have to trust them as much as I need to trust me. I need to trust the reality of the situation, and I can’t do that if I’m attached to all my previous hurts. I know there will be times where I call on you, because I’m not perfect. I will slip in order to learn. My hope is that when I look back, I will acknowledge what I’m doing and not take it out on the people around me. If I do, I will be aware enough to apologize and own my overreaction to the current situation. 

I’m also letting go of my shame and guilt over my past mistakes. I’ve used my past as a weapon of mass destruction against myself. My abuse has reached to the point where I don’t even like looking in the mirror. I’m over not feeling worthy enough to look at myself. I’m tired of cutting myself down. I’m projecting how I feel about myself into every relationship I have and I’m sick of what is coming back to me. 

Today, I’m going to look at myself with fresh eyes. It is a new day. I I will focus on my best attributes and what I want to give to my relationships today.

Thank you for your lessons. I’m ready to use them wisely. I will create a reality I want to be in. 

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

10 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

Sorry for the Times I Didn’t Put Humanity First

Dear Humanity,

I owe you an apology. I got lost in what I was against, I lost sight of what I stood for. I’ve seen politics get uglier and uglier through the years and have felt enraged about some of the mud slinging. Yet, in my rage, I became one of them. One of the people I’ve said I didn’t want to be. I became a person who put agenda before people. I forgot to ask questions before damning other people’s beliefs. This is NOT who I am.

Even if I don’t believe in other people’s beliefs or agendas, I still must be held accountable for the energy I’m contributing. If I forget MY humanity because of politics, injustices, social causes, religious beliefs, etc. My energy is going towards the very thing I’m against. That will only make the hate stronger and that is NOT WHAT I WANT. I’m just as guilty as the person who used the same tactics to keep someone else down. THIS IS NOT WHO I AM

If I really want to make positive change in this world, I have to remember who I am and what I stand for. No life is more or less valuable than my own. The people I don’t understand have taught me some amazing lessons, but I only learn them if I apply the lesson in a positive way. I will not allow other people’s prejudices and entitlement ruin my beliefs about humanity. 

I’m going back to putting my energy toward the changes I WANT TO SEE in the world. I’m going to look for the best in humanity. My energy is going towards the people who are creating change to better and strengthen our communities, communications, relationships, human rights, environment, foods, resources, and positive treatment of children and animals. These are the people I want to give my energy to. These are the people I want to align myself with. I will no longer contribute my energy towards hate. 

I have many friends who don’t have the same beliefs as I do, if I don’t understand I can ask questions. I don’t have to consider them a horrible person because they believe differently. I love my life. I love the way I live my life. My beliefs create my life to be what it is. If someone’s beliefs cause them pain and stress, it’s their job to re-evaluate their perspective if and when they get sick and tired of it. My beliefs tell me to show up with compassion, empathy, and love—THIS IS WHO I AM. 

I hope you accept my apology for losing my way. Whether you heard my angry thoughts or not, I’m still holding myself accountable. I want to be better. I will do my best to put humanity first in all my daily exchanges. I will remind myself what I stand for in the face of hate, injustice, and oppression. I will contribute to the solutions instead of exasperating the problems that hold humanity back. This is my commitment to you. 

#ABetterMe #HumanityFirst #humanitywins

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

11 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

You are NOT Stupid!

To the People who Refer to Themselves as Stupid:

We all make mistakes! Mistakes are missteps, detours, and/or stepping stones to growth (as long as we learn from them). They definitely don’t make us stupid. We may try things and fail again and again. You are still not stupid. You may turn to drugs or alcohol thinking you can escape and find out it only makes everything worse. You are still not stupid. Our self-talk defines what feels normal from someone else. How we talk to ourselves makes it okay for someone else to talk to us however we are talking to ourselves. Make sure it’s good. Our self-talk can be the reason we can’t accept compliments if we don’t believe we deserve them. 

You deserve more than calling yourself names. You deserve more than others calling you names. The first step to living better begins with cleaning up your self-talk. If you aren’t going to do it, you will never be able to feel the full appreciation others have for you, because your focus is on the people who treat you the same way you treat yourself. You have lived and survived many lessons in your life. You deserve to be proud of yourself for still being here. You can take life’s circumstances and learn from them. This doesn’t mean you will do this or anything else in life perfectly, because none of us our perfect. Why are you holding yourself to a standard that you don’t hold anyone else to? 

We simply make choices and we have the ability to make a better choices for ourselves in every moment that passes us. Don’t focus on the future or the past. Don’t worry about where this choice will get you or what has happened before. In this moment, make the best choice that you can make. When you make a choice that brings you joy, celebrate it. When you make a choice that brings you pain, learn from it. Don’t be a prisoner by using your choices as a tool to beat yourself up. 

When you feel stupid for the choice you made, write it down, then right down three better choices. Figure out what is creating you to want to make the unhealthy choices, and then forgive yourself. Thank the Universe for the learning experience. Reframing will help you stop beating yourself up.  You are worth your own kindness. When we are not kind to ourselves, we allow others to walk on us. We lie down and become a doormat willingly because we don’t have the self-worth to say something. We try to prove our worth to others by doing for them what they can do for themselves. This still doesn’t make us stupid. We are doing the best we can do in every moment.

Today, commit to making choices that make you feel good inside. Today, do something for yourself that makes you feel valuable. Try looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not stupid, I’m learning.” Say it until you believe it. When you do, your reality will shift for the better.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

15 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other purchasing options can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

Please Stop Bashing People who Speak Out About Sexual Misconduct

To the Men and Women Who Are Bashing the People Speaking Out About Sexual Misconduct:

There are so many reasons why people don’t speak up right away. Did you know that a lot of us who have said something right away get ignored and ridiculed? Do you know what that does to us when we are told our feelings and personal boundary lines don’t matter? Do you know as a culture we have been trained not to rock the boat? Did you know that some women just think it’s part of being a woman? How sick is that? A woman doesn’t feel that her body and personal boundaries should be respected. Some of us have given in to the way society thinks we should use what some call our assets, but guess what—The amount of internal and emotional damage that does is beyond what some may ever imagine. 

The shame and guilt that comes with not being true to ourselves is a factor in falling into addictions, depression, anxiety, and when it is a really bad situation PTSD. Some people have no idea that it’s not just war trauma that causes it. Part of reconciling all these things is to take our power back. That means we won’t sit on the sidelines and be okay when we see this happening around us or to us. This may take years or decades. These empowered women and men who came forward paved the way for other women and men saying enough is enough. We won’t keep letting this happen. 

For those of you bashing them on social media, I want you to think about your friend list. I promise you your statements attacked at least a few of the women on that list. Some of them might be ready to stand up against it happening to them and you could be a voice that makes them feel shame and fear to not speak out. You could be causing someone you love to not speak out and live with a deep level of sickness that you have no idea about. Do you really want to be that person? 

Some women/men like the attention and the power they feel during sexually fueled power/dominance encounters. That is their prerogative, but that doesn’t mean those of us who aren’t should have to put up with what we don’t feel comfortable with in our interactions. We should feel confident to say something when our boundaries have been crossed without feeling like we are going to be ridiculed or our careers are in jeopardy.

As a woman who has experienced everything from sexual harassment to rape, please stop shaming these women and men for coming forward. Maybe put yourself in the position of someone like me who has PTSD flashbacks.  This  means being pulled in too tight for a hug, a man grabbing me from behind, the smell of alcohol on a man’s breath, or sometimes even an inappropriate comment can make me go through an entire process to get myself out of feeling like I’m crawling out of my own skin. I’m right back in that powerless position of being completely violated. Is that funny to you? Do you want to bash me for having a visceral reaction?  

Think of these women/men as your daughters and/or sons, would you want your daughter/son to accept this type of behavior? Would you want your daughter to feel like just because she’s a woman she should put up with being grabbed, taunted, and sexually manipulated? I hope your answer is no.

We are at an important place in time letting women and men know that these behaviors aren’t acceptable. This will encourage us to be able to cut off a situation as it happening without fearing the repercussions. It will help businesses be more conscious of the problem and do something about it. No person should feel unsafe in his or her personal or professional environment. 

I like to see the best in humanity, that’s why I have so much respect for the men coming forward and genuinely apologizing for their actions. Some men have no idea how their actions are affecting women because they have been taught over and over that these behaviors are acceptable. Those are the men who will change and genuinely feel remorse. They may even turn into our biggest advocates.  The others are predators; they will deny and/or rationalize their choices until the end. We also can’t ignore the attention getters, those who lie for the publicity. We know they are going to come out and they are predators too. They give the true empowered voices a bad name. They are not the majority of people coming forward. Don’t let the few be a reason not to listen to the many. They are our teachers, and how we react shows the people around us who we are. 

Change is the best apology. I see what is happening now as a wake up call to be better and do better. I will stand up for myself when it happens to me. I can’t force anyone else to change their thoughts, beliefs, or actions. I can change how I contribute or accept them in my life. 

All of these women and men coming forward helped me find my voice. For that, I thank them. I will no longer tolerate or accept this behavior in my personal and/or my professional life. I will stand up for those who are brave enough to come forward and I will pray for those who are still trying to find their way. I pray for the women who have gone through this to find forgiveness toward themselves, their assailants, and the people who didn’t stand with them. Not for the people who hurt them, but for themselves, so that the experience can be transformed into positive actions to help themselves and others. I’m grateful to all the women who have helped these women and men take their power back. 

I’m not trying to leave out any humans who have dealt with this either, no matter how they identify themselves. When we use our voices to stand for our fellow humans deserving respect, love, compassion, and empathy— humanity wins. When we stand up, our voices show the world that violating others is unacceptable! When we stand up, we are taking a step to end the violence. Our voice and our actions shows the world who we are.

With Love, Gratitude, and Many Prayers, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

16 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other places to purchase the book can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

When Life Gets Messy Declutter

Whether life gets messy in your own heads or around us, the process of physically decluttering our lives is cathartic. When we declutter, we make room for peace. We also make room to open new doors, and see the importance of closing doors that no longer serve us.

One of the most obvious examples I have of how this works is my own bed. When I was fearful and not ready for any real relationship, I cluttered my bed with my art, research, books, and writings. I made just enough space for me to sleep, but not even straight. As I started doing the work I needed to do to open myself up, I actively decluttered my bed. Slowly, I cleared the way all the clutter and sharp edges. I made room for love to come in…and it did.

Make space for the life you want. When we declutter both mentally and physically, life becomes less messy and more consciously designed.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

24 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

For other purchasing options, go to https://fromalovingplace.com/book/.

Bring your Dreams to the Light

Wake up your dreams by moving towards them. Bring them to the light. Take one step right now that will bring you closer. If we want to live in the light of our dreams, we have first create the light by our actions. Only then will we have enough light to see where we are going.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

34 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

#PerspectiveChallenge: People Suck

PERSPECTIVE: PEOPLE SUCK

There is a difference between not liking a particular person’s choice and the belief PEOPLE SUCK. When we tell ourselves and/or anyone who will listen that people suck, we are asking the Universe to show us the people who suck. We put our focus on seeing it. There could be an unhealthy person making poor choices and a healthy person making positive choices, and guess who we will put our energy on? 

We see this every day in social media. There are people who are constantly seeing and spreading their belief that people suck, alongside the people who celebrate the amazing acts of humanity in the world. In honesty, what sucks is our perception when we believe the thought—people suck

People can and will make poor choices when they have unhealthy perceptions of themselves and the reality they are living in. We each have to make the choice if we will allow our thinking to benefit our lives or cost us our peace. We are only ever one healthy perception away from making a positive change in our life. 

When we believe people suck, we are giving ourselves permission to suck too, because last I checked, if you are reading this it qualifies you as a person. I don’t believe that you suck. 

I believe that each person makes choices that have NOTHING to do with me. Just like I make my own choices on what I think, believe, perceive, and do. No one can MAKE me believe anything that doesn’t feel true to me. Hence, I focus my energy on the amazing heroes in the world. Those are tears I LOVE shedding watching the power of humanity shine through.

When someone makes a choice that hurts themselves and/or others, I want you to take a second to go deeper. This is a sick person making a sick choice. This is not a representative of all the humanity in the world. Don’t let their negative choices pull you down into their energy field. Because I guarantee you, they think people suck too. Someone who is acting in a healthy manner doesn’t try to take another human down or want to be tied to low energy. Their energy field actually won’t even allow it to happen—like attracts like. People making healthy choices process information in healthy ways. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Go on the Internet and look into acts of kindness, humans being better humans, humanitarian causes, inspirational websites and pages, along with acts of forgiveness. If you want to see the best in humanity, you have to put your focus there. 

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Continuous Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

37 More Days until the release of LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!