I’m grateful for the people who show up and the ones that don’t. I used to hold grudges against people who didn’t show up when I thought they should. I would get so angry and feel let down on a regular basis. Living with these resentments kept me aligned with fear, lack, and separation. I chased away good people in my life because my focus was on the people who WEREN’T there, instead of focusing on the ones who were. I’m so thankful that many of those people came back into my life when I aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace.
Here’s what I’ve learned: the people who are supposed to be there, always are. Not always in the way of future sense. I mean, the person or people who are there for us in a moment in time are the ones who are supposed to be there. If that wasn’t the case, the reality of the situation would be different than it was. If someone doesn’t show up that I thought “SHOULD” be there, that is my ego. Who am I to say they should be there? They were meant to be exactly where they were because that is a part of their journey. They weren’t meant to be there for me because they weren’t there—THAT’s the reality!
So many amazing blessings have occurred in my life because of a person not being there, because it made space in my life for the people who were. I trust that when I speak at virtual event, everyone who is supposed to be in that room is who is meant to be there. If a friend tells me that they got tickets and they don’t go or something comes up…it’s because they weren’t supposed to be there, otherwise they would have been there.
People have asked me if I get mad at friends who haven’t read my book. The answer is no. The people who read my book are the people it’s for. If people don’t read my book, the book wasn’t for them, at least right now. If they pick up the book years down the road, well than the book was meant to be a part of their journeys.
I love how it feels to put my energy on the people who do show up, and be grateful for the ones that don’t because if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have the space to appreciate the people who are there. People can pop in and out of our lives. I trust if someone is meant to pop in, they will. If they are meant to pop out, they will.
Another beautiful lesson I’ve learned is when I think someone “should” show up and they don’t, I have to look at my expectations of that person. If someone’s actions aren’t aligning with their words or I don’t feel aligned with love, abundance, and peace when I’m with them, I need to ask myself: Do I really want this person to be there? When the answer is no, them not showing up is a blessing that led to self-discovery. That leaves an opening for more people to show up that ARE meant to be there.
Right now my life is filled with all kinds of people who bring different gifts to it. I truly believe they are Godsends. If I get a call from someone who needs a friend and I haven’t talked to them for months or years, I believe if they reach out to me, it’s because I’m the one who is supposed to be there. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be available or they wouldn’t have even thought to reach out to me. There are no grudges—only what is. That is reality.
I’ve discovered that I don’t have to create stories about people showing up or not. I just sit in gratitude for both. I’ve learned from both. I’ve been challenged by both. But through it all, I’m blessed by both.
Today, I commit to appreciating the people who do and don’t show up. Just writing this piece makes me grateful for both. The pandemic created some distance between some friends and brought me closer to others. I’ve met so many new people since this pandemic began, and if other people didn’t go on their own journeys, I wouldn’t have had the space in my life for the ones who are here right now. The people who are in my life right now are EXACTLY the ones I need to be there, until they aren’t. I have regular calls with people and I have people who pop in from time to time.
Here’s something really cool about being in this energy…Just as I was typing the words above, a notification came on my screen. One of my friends who I was thinking of in the very moment, responded to a comment I made on social media. She showed up in perfect timing to deepen my appreciation. I stopped to text her and we shared a moment of connection. This is such an amazing journey. The reason I love being in this energy of appreciating both is because right now my heart is overwhelmed with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. Tears are filling my eyes because I feel so blessed. It’s that beautiful reminder that everything happens in perfect timing.
I love knowing when I’m meant to be there for someone else, because I will be the one who is there. I don’t have to feel bad or guilty for the times I’m not there, because I know the people who were meant to be there were. If the person was alone, I know that was a part of their journey too. I’ve had a lot of beautiful lessons that came when nobody showed up. I take that as a sign I needed the space to connect spiritually. I feel very strongly that if a another person or I don’t show up, it’s because my journey is taking me somewhere else and so is theirs. Why spend time in the energy of fear, lack, and separation over that? I rather stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click title for more information, formats, and purchasing options)