I’m grateful I’m open to see my emotional triggers. When I react in extreme ways that don’t match the situation, I know I’ve been triggered. If something happens and I start playing a story in my head of how I want to tell someone off or a million things that I would love to say, I know I’m emotionally triggered. If something small makes me hide behind my walls, I know I’m emotionally triggered. None of these reactions are about what is happening in the moment. They are about an old story playing about something that isn’t fully healed from my past.
I used to be very unconscious of this and take it out on the person in front of me. I would blame them for how I was feeling. I would give my power away. Now, I see when I’m triggered as an opportunity to heal. Sometimes I catch it after I react, I’m human. I’ve learned to take the space I need to see my trigger clearly. If I reacted to a loved one, I always go back to take responsibility for my reaction and explain how I was feeling and why. This has helped my relationships grow and strengthen.
I feel so blessed to have learned how to process and learn from my emotional triggers. Doing this definitely aligns me with the energy of love, abundance, and peace over fear, lack, and separation. It helps me not be vulnerable to people, groups, organizations, products, or influencers that feed on people NOT recognizing their triggers. When we don’t recognize them, we become prey to people who know how to manipulate them to get us to do what they want. The problem is when we don’t recognize them, we are unconsciously leaking out the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Like attract like, so if someone is looking for that energy, we begin to feel the magnetic force drawing us in. It’s so incredibly dangerous, I much rather take responsibility for what is mine and transform my energy into love, abundance, and peace. The people that are attracted to that energy are the ones I love spending my time with.
Today, I’m committing to take responsibility for my emotional triggers. If the feelings start coming up, I will give myself space to see what they are really about. I will take a deep breath and release it to give me space to step outside of the chaos of the emotional trigger. If I react before I catch myself, I will look at my reaction, take responsibility for it, and then learn from the experience.
Holding myself responsible and accountable for my triggers doesn’t mean I am blaming myself either. Self-blame is just another form of self-abuse which keeps us in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Taking responsibility for my emotional triggers is about learning from them so that they don’t have power over me and making sure I don’t give myself away by unconsciously sliding into the energy of fear, lack, and separation. When I take responsibility for the energy that is coming out of me, I can do something about it. I can sit with it to learn from it, and when I’m ready, release it through forgiveness. Then, I bring myself back to the energy of love, abundance, and peace.
If you are wondering about the other party involved, I’ve learned that when I can speak clearly from an, “I feel _____________ because____________” without an extreme reaction, the other person is more open to hear what I have to say and the communication tends to be on a healthy level, unless they are an abuser. When I was dealing with an abuser, I found it best when I kept a calm voice, never blamed, and stated how I felt, but it wasn’t about how they responded. It was about me staying in my peace, because I was less appealing to attack if I genuinely remained in my peace. This took a lot of practice, and when I got REALLY good at it, I felt strong enough to leave and I never looked back. I had to interact with him over the years from time to time, but because I don’t react, I stay in my peace, I don’t blame, and I just state facts with no emotional windows for him to sneak through, he has no power of me. Remember, like attracts like. Abusers can only have power if we are in the energy of fear, lack, and separation too. They are not attracted to people who live authentically from the energy of love, abundance, and peace.
All the things I’ve been talking about for the last 213 days are all just steps on the journey. I’m sharing my daily work to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace as much as I can. I will slip in and out, but I want to be in more than I’m out. There are so many amazing blessings on this journey, but the key is doing things to stay conscious daily. If you want to come on this journey with me, scroll down and sign up to follow this blog. We can only create more love, abundance, and peace in the world if we are doing the work to stay in that energy as we represent what we stand for out in the world.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click title for information, formats, and purchasing options)