I’m grateful to have the tools to connect to self. At about 14, I discovered the importance of connecting to self. I wasn’t good at it. I was actually HORRIBLE at it, because my self-concept was so bad that what I connected to was self-abuse. I kept getting seeds along the way. I would try to plant them, but my toxic foundation of self-hate kept any of the good seeds from developing, at least for a few decades. I was queen of self-sabotage. I finally reached a point of absolute desperation when I was the mother of two young children and thought, What kind of example am I being to them? It was my wake-up call. What they were seeing in our home wasn’t healthy. It was time to get real. When I made the decision to start doing the work, all kinds of amazing doors and pathways started revealing themselves to me. They were all guiding me inward to fix the issue from the core of where the problem festered—ME.
I was the problem and the solution all in one. When I was ready to truly see that, the path inward became incredibly rewarding. I still had some hard lessons to learn. I’m sure there are plenty to come, but now I have the tools and I’ve planted a beautiful internal garden that is ripe with life, color, and growth. I visualize connecting to self as designing and nurturing my internal garden. I have to choose what I want to plant, what works, what doesn’t, and I have to manage the weeds and take care of the soil. NOBODY can plant seeds in my garden. I’m the only one who can let things grow, move them, or remove them. That is the power of connecting to self, I get to see what is going on inside of me. I know when my energy is aligning with love, abundance,and peace, which nurtures my garden. I also know when my energy is aligning with fear, lack, and separation, which is what is giving life to the weeds. Looking inward is the way I authentically represent what I stand for in the world. I have to be willing to look at myself, or I will continue to give my power away and be victim to this life. I choose to be empowered by it!
Today, I commit to connecting to self. I’ve learned so many tools for connecting to self over the years. The benefits are endless! Let’s start with some of my favorite benefits that come with connecting to self from a loving place:
- Improves intuition
- Improves ability to HEAR and ABSORB Divine guidance
- Improves inner peace
- Improves our ability to stay present for longer time periods
- Improves communication with people we agree and/or disagree with
- We learn to respond to others, instead of react to our unhealed pasts
- Increases our ability to have authentic loving relationships (NOT FEAR-BASED)
- Increases ability to spot solutions
- Increases ability to be responsible and accountable without self-abusing and/or blaming others
- Increases our ability to spot and stop unhealthy patterns of behavior and thought
- Increases our ability to align with the energy of love, abundance, and peace
- Diminishes psychic and emotional blocks
- Better self-talk
- More self-aware
I was only planning on typing a few when I started this list, and there are so many more. Connecting to self is not a selfish act. By connecting to self we are showing ourselves the love we deserve. Connecting to self helps us find clarity in how we can serve from a loving place, instead of from a place of lack. When we don’t see our worth and try to find it in the outside world, we are aligning with the energy of fear, lack, and separation instead of love, abundance, and peace. Over these last 234 days, I’ve given followers/readers a lot of tools to connect to self. Here are some of my favorites:
- Free-writing: Take 15-30 minutes and just write whatever comes out. Don’t go back and correct, just keep writing. I get a lot of my Divine guidance this way. I like to start by asking a question.
- Letter writing: I write letters to myself to hold myself accountable, show myself love, make commitments to myself, forgive myself, and try to unravel any chaos I’ve stirred up.
- Nature walking for guidance: I ask a question in a prayer and then ask for the answer to be revealed on my nature walk. I LOVE some of the AMAZING lessons I’ve got from nature!
- Prayer: When I need help connecting, I ask for it! When I want clarity, I ask for it! When I have no idea what I want or need, I ask for guidance. Then I listen and show gratitude for knowing that my soul is safe.
- Tapping (EFT): This is great for when a repeated negative message keeps playing in my head like a broken record. It helps to give me space to change the message playing to a healthier one.
- Reading: Just this weekend I read two books that REALLY sparked my connections to self. I always have at least one book going that will help me see myself as clearly as possible. This is me feeding the energy of love, abundance, and peace in my downtime. I feel SO much better when I commit to educating myself. I also pick books that help me understand others so that I don’t take their stuff personally while still holding compassion for them. Taking care of myself means I’m not taking on other people’s stuff as my own. That’s their journey.
- Meditation: I find that meditations whether they be walking, writing, breathing, formal, informal, long, or short all help me tap into my intuition and keep my mind open to be guided.
- Mindfulness practices: Being where my feet are and appreciating the moment I’m in helps me to see things without attachments to the unknown future or my unhealed past.
- Stretching movements: This could be any kind of movement/flow exercise. This helps me connect with my body and see where it really is and how it is really feeling.
- Perspective challenges: I like to challenge my perspectives anytime I notice they are aligned with fear, lack, and separation. I try to figure out how to look at the same facts, but align my perspectives with love, abundance, and peace. This helps me to see that I always have choices in how I look at things.
- Courting: I take myself on dates. I make sure that I do things I love to do, and I don’t wait for anyone else to do it for me. I show myself the love I deserve. I am my life partner, and I want to be the best life partner I can be. I make sure to give myself quality time, which includes nurturing and fun time. How I treat myself shows others how to treat me.
- Watching for triggers: This is where I get to hold myself responsible and accountable for my reactions to other’s choices. I watch to see anytime my energy aligns with fear, lack, and separation and then I question myself to see where that feeling really comes from. This helps me to see what past stuff hasn’t been healed yet.
Connecting to self has so many amazing layers. That is why I’m looking forward to the conversation I will be having with two of my fellow authors on the topic. If you read this before March 24th, you are welcome to join us. It’s free and the details are down below. If you miss it, I will be posting the replay as soon as it is available. There are so many different ways to connect, what is important is that you find the right way for you.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click title for more information)