I’m grateful for the experiences that show me what I don’t want. Sometimes, I have to figure out what I don’t want in order to see and APPRECIATE what I do want and/or have. I love it when I don’t have to live the experience to figure this out. Sometimes, I’m stubborn and insist on learning the hard way. Thankfully, I don’t do that as much as I used to. Here’s the tricky part, at least I found it tricky. How do we determine what we don’t want without putting our energy into what we don’t want? That has taken a lot of practice. I’ve gotten really good in some areas and am still working through others, but I couldn’t get there without first seeing what I didn’t want.

Just because I don’t want something in my life doesn’t mean it’s wrong for someone else. We each need to navigate our own journeys. I do my best focus on where I’m putting my energy regarding others. If it’s not serving the highest good, I try to limit the amount of energy I put into it. The reason I do this is because I figured out how miserable it is to keep my energy in fear, lack, and separation over someone else’s choices. I used to make myself victim of complete strangers in stores and on the roads, I’m laughing at myself right now. It’s amazing how much energy I’ve spent in fear, lack, and separation for NO reason, but to judge someone else. I contributed to the things I didn’t want just through my judgment of others. It’s just not worth it.

Learning to see what I don’t want without contributing to the energy of what I don’t want is one of the most life changing tools I’ve learned. I still don’t do it perfectly, but I can see when I do it and then quickly correct it before I start to go the long way back to love, abundance, and peace.

Today, I commit to gaining clarity on what feels right for me. One thing I’m very clear about is that I want to be in the energy of love, abundance, and peace over fear, lack, and separation. I know that where I put my energy matters, but this means I need to really get into where my thoughts, beliefs, actions, and responses are going. What are they moving me towards? Is the choices I’m making right now contributing to what I don’t want or what I do?

I’ve done a lot of practicing and experimenting with this. One of the things that keep me moving in a positive direction with this is laughter. I’ve learned to laugh when I see where I didn’t quite get it right. Here’s an example: After being in a verbally abusive relationship with someone who was a heavy drinker and prescription drug user (among other things), I made the statement to the Universe that I just wanted someone who didn’t drink or do drugs. My energy was totally focused on what I didn’t want. I didn’t say, I wanted someone with a healthy lifestyle. I didn’t say, I wanted some with open and honest communications. My energy was completely aligned with fear, lack, and separation of repeating the same mistakes with a different man. Long story short, the man presented to me was not healthy in any way of the word, but he didn’t drink. I stayed long enough to learn what I needed to learn.

The blessing is I finally saw where MY thinking was unhealthy. I saw exactly why I was attracting the men that I was. Seeing what I didn’t want was important, but what I learned was that when I figure out what I don’t want, I have to get out of the energy that attracts it. This doesn’t just work in relationships, it works in all areas of our lives. It can be TRICKY, but once you get it, the rewards are endless.

Here’s what I learned:

1. Be clear about what I don’t want.
2. Move out of the energy that attracts more of what I don’t want (Change thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that align me with what I don’t want).
3. Get clear on what I do want in my life (Make lists, write letters, and talk to friends). I have to get really excited about being in the energy of HAVING what I want. IMPORTANT: Make sure I’m only focusing on the positives. Example: I want to attract a partner with a healthy lifestyle, NOT I want some who doesn’t… Doesn’t is attracting more of the energy I don’t want anymore.
4. Learn to live in the energy of what I do want (change thoughts, beliefs, actions, and responses to align me with what I DO want).
5. Treat myself and others like I already have everything I want (ABUNDANCE).
6. Project out what I want to attract back from the core (Self-love projects out to amplify out in the world and that does come back—Love, abundance, and peace).

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click book cover to learn more about how to get your copy)