I recently attended the final Hay House I Can Do It conference in Ft. Lauderdale. I was amazed with all the speakers. I took tons of notes and listened to every detail that I could get to stick. I was surrounded by over 1,000 positive and loving people  in one room. The energy of the room lifted me up to amazing levels. I was in learning mode. I expected to get a lot from the speakers over this two-day event. Day One, I was overjoyed with all the powerful information and tools I was getting to take on my day. I was charged…

So, with all of that going on, how could I be attacked with such rage and anger? As my two friends and I were coming in from eating our awesome leftovers from Mellow Mushroom, I was excitedly engaged in a conversation about all the amazing information and inspiration. I had one eye in front of me and one focused on my friend. Our other friend was walking a few steps behind. All the sudden my foot hits a foot in front of me. Baffled and confused, I of course apologize to the usher I tripped on, but I had no idea how I had missed her. I was looking ahead. She instantly jumps into attack mode, got in my face, and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs. “Watch where you are going! Do you think you can just walk all over people?…” My friends and I were in total shock at this interaction. Fight-flight response took over. I went into feeling like a scared little girl being blamed for something I didn’t do and didn’t understand. My friend on the other hand went into fight mode, but luckily with all the great energy we had sucked in, knew it was best to talk to a supervisor and simply say, “Bless you!” Our other friend, who saw the whole thing, just kept repeating, “Do not engage, bless you, bless you, bless you.”

After we walked away,  I was told the woman had sped around me and was aimed at cutting around me but had to walk in my path to avoid the people sitting on the bench. The reason I never saw her is because she cut over into my walking space and I couldn’t catch her in my peripheral because my head was turned to the right. I was in such shock, my nerves were on edge. Every usher I passed made me feel like a scared little girl trying to avoid a dangerous stranger. I walked with complete tension and my heart wouldn’t stop pounding. I couldn’t understand how this could have happened here of all places. I needed this conference. I needed to be filled with the energy to get me out of the grief I’d been facing because of the recent passing of my “Gifted Mom”(my dad’s partner). I just had surgery on my face and needed to stop being so focused on that. How could this have happened here and now?  Haven’t I gone through enough in the last six weeks?

We went back to our seats, and I knew I wasn’t up for reporting the incident. I just needed to get myself out of the trauma and into a better head space so I could enjoy and absorb the rest of the event. I knew if I stayed where I was,  I wouldn’t get what I needed. So my friends went off to report the incident and I sat in silence.

Deep breaths and connect, deep breaths and connect. I know this happened for a reason, I started with a prayer: “Help me to figure out the reason for this lesson, so I can move on from it and stay connected to the energy of love and gratitude.” Deep breaths, deep breaths, I was so grateful I had just heard techniques to get me out of this. Davidji talked about the power of connection and mediation, “Connect to our guardian soul.” was one of the messages I wrote down. He also talked about the fight-flight response and what happens physically and emotionally to us when its happening. He quoted Pema Chodron, “The things you cling to make you unavailable to learn something new.” I knew I had to re-connect and get passed this. The situation with the usher happened after I just heard all this. My friends came back and told me the manager apologized and they would look into it. They were going to meet her again after the next break. My breathing steadied, but my adrenaline was still coming down and had a ways to go.

Kris Carr  was up next, somehow I knew I was going to get the answers I needed. She quoted Louise Hay who said, “It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed.” My mantra, “Deep breaths, connect, deep breaths, connect.” Mastin Kipp followed Carr.  Kipp said, “Negative emotions are a call to awareness.” YES! YES! YES! My Aha moment arrived. One of my biggest challenges I’ve faced in my life is my connection to being blamed for something I didn’t do. It stemmed from when I was a little girl. This negative exchange took me right back to being that defenseless little girl. I have been dealing with this negative thought pattern for a long time. It had been so long since it was engaged, I buried it. When I was in high school, these thoughts made me suicidal. Luckily, or I should say I was protected because both times it happened I was in places where I could get help immediately. I needed to once again face this fear, but this time with fresh tools to get through it.  I once again was protected and in the perfect situation to get the help I needed.  I will tell you, nothing makes techniques stick better than applying them right away.

After the next break, we found out the woman thought that we were 19-20 year olds. I like to think I look young, but that is a little drastic. She didn’t see us at all. She was wrapped up in her own head feeling walked on by the younger generations. Her reaction had nothing at all to do with me. I knew that logically, but knowing she had no concept of the fact that we were all over double that age, I knew I was looking at a very hurt and wounded woman. I could see her with eyes of compassion and pray for her healing. I could also look at how far I had come from my younger self. I got exactly what I needed, which made me think of something Mastin Kipp said, “What’s the spiritual lesson in this?…This is happening for you, not to you.”

The rest of the day, I continued to get what I needed. Cheryl Richardson asked, “Are you willing to take your own heroes’ journey?” My reply, “YES!!” Gregg Braden was the final speaker. He showed us a technique to help the heart and the brain to work together. The coolest part is it was all based on science. Very interesting findings!! The event was over, I left better than I came and in a very short time, I grew.

How we look at things and deal with the people and events around us is so important. If we are responding negatively to our situation, we are putting that hurtful energy into ourselves then breathing it back into the world. We need to ask ourselves, is this what we want? Are we going to miss opportunities from being caught up in a fight-flight response? Are we getting caught up in negative thoughts that can change to more positive ones? What is my lesson? How can I be and do better to serve myself and humanity?

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff