5 Ways Narcissists Use Social Media as A Weapon

Everywhere we look on social media we can read about narcissists in and out of relationships. We can sympathize with the person who has had experiences with him or her, and many times we can even relate. Yet, we don’t pay attention to all the lists and think about our responses in our everyday life on social media. Often we don’t know how easy we make it for narcissists to attack their victims. The worst part is that we can often jump in and become apart of the abuse, gaslighting, and/or shaming without ever knowing we’ve become a pawn in the narcissist’s game. Is that the narcissist’s fault? No! They have a psychological condition where they can’t process morals, emotions, and reality in a healthy way. The only way to stop narcissistic abuse on social media is to take responsibility for what we are contributing to. Staying aware is key!

1.  Personally Attacking Others

Personally attacking another person on social media is not healthy behavior, but that in itself doesn’t make a person a narcissist. A narcissist will thrive on turning people against his/her victim. They will use people to attack their target. They will feel fulfilled when they get other people to join in on the attack. The more people they can get to attack their victim, the better. They may post a picture of a person in a vulnerable moment, but write a false tagline. They might clip a video where they were attacking, but what you see is the other person reacting to their abuse. If you see or read abusive, violent, shaming, blaming, and/or harassing posts don’t engage. Social media is not the place. If you are only looking at one side, you could be contributing to an attack on someone without even knowing it. You just played into the narcissist’s hand.  Don’t forget there are narcissists in finance, media, politics, non-profits, religious organizations, etc. Staying clear of personal attacks is your best option.

2.  Getting You on Their Side

Charming narcissists will do anything to convince you to side with them. They are the victim of every person, place, and thing. Life keeps happening to them, yet they are better than everyone else. They are entitled to more. They will do their best to trigger your hate and rage towards someone who is their target. DON’T ENGAGE! This doesn’t mean we don’t stand up for the human rights of others. Just be cautious of what the person’s intentions are. Are they standing up for a cause or trying to engage your hate? Keep the bigger picture in mind. Support what you want to see in the world (peace, compassion, love), not what you don’t want to see (violence, hate, and fear).

3.  Spreading Blame

Watching the blame is the quickest way to spot a narcissist on social media. They don’t understand how their family, friends, partners, kids, co-workers, and strangers can do what they do. Everything is someone else’s fault. Now, this can get tricky as our social media culture has become a giant blame cycle, which is what makes it a feeding frenzy for narcissists. Our relationship with drama is a weapon to them. If we feed the blame cycle, we are feeding their cycle of abuse.

4.  Taking Shaming Viral

Narcissists thrive on shaming their victims. They might put them on a pedestal, then they drop kick them down to the dirt. The victims crave to be back on that pedestal, so they may accept or think they deserve the shaming. It’s all in how narcissists groom their target(s). Other times narcissists use social media to groom the target into submission by public shaming. Sometimes the narcissist is targeting groups of people to shame. Watch out for that word “ALL” when it comes to groups such as ALL Christians, ALL Muslims, ALL Politicians, ALL gays, ALL women, ALL men, ALL police officers, ALL minorities, ALL immigrants, the list goes on and on. This is dangerous thinking and it is how we give narcissists power on social media and in our everyday lives.

5.  Searching for their Next Victim

Narcissists can use social media to hunt for their next victim. They need a person who will engage with them. If you are agreeing with their stories of shame and blame while supporting them as the victims, they want you. Whether you are apart of a large group or they are looking for that next romantic relationship to turn into an utter nightmare, there are signs you can give off to help them pick you as a target. Engaging with them on social media makes you a prime candidate.

Here is the real question, how do we know when a person is just hurt, angry, or enraged posting or if he/she is a narcissist? It doesn’t matter. A narcissist is probably watching the post either way, so even if you engage on a post that is not theirs, you are feeding them. You are contributing to their wicked game. If the person posting is a good friend, send them a text or call them. If the person is someone you don’t know very well, knew from school, or a public figure, remind yourself that you don’t know all the sides of the story. If someone is using ALL language, STAY AWAY from engaging. Narcissists are trolling the Internet waiting for places to feed.

Remember healthy people don’t attack others. If we are the ones attacking, we show the narcissist that we are ready to be apart of their army. Spread what you want to see more of on social media. Don’t make social media feeding grounds for narcissists. Make them want to steer clear of you by not contributing to using social media as a weapon of attack. Keep yourself and others safe while preventing playing on a narcissist’s playground—stay kind on-line!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

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