I’m grateful for the growing opportunities from parenting. Talk about Divine connections, Divine timing, Divine guidance, and tapping into the Universal messages, kids will be our guiding lights into our own light and our own darkness. I get to see all sides of myself by being a parent—growing opportunities GALORE! But…only if I want them. I can choose to be the heroine or the victim of the experience at any given moment, and believe me, I’ve chosen both! The blessings come in the awareness of being able to spot when I choose what and why.
My children have given me the amazing opportunity to dig deeper. If you have read my book, I give readers opportunities to dig deeper throughout the experience. My motto for myself is go deep or go home. I don’t let my reactions to their words or behaviors go unchecked, I’ve had a WHOLE LOT of reactions throughout the years to dig into. I’ve learned not to judge myself for this, parenting is a growth opportunity. If I reacting in the energy of love, abundance, and peace throughout every exchange, where would the growth be? Beating myself up only kept me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It kept me in a prison of my perspectives. I’ve decided I don’t like prison, so I do everything that I can to stay out of it.
My life as a parent looks absolutely NOTHING like I thought it would in my early years, but it is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, or else it would be different. Since I do believe in Divine timing, Divine connections, and Divine guidance there is nothing but opportunities for growth in every experience. This is the life I get to work with to give me opportunities to align with love, abundance, and peace. Fighting the life I have only keeps me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It’s like me telling the Universe that there was a mistake in the design. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy and I’m going to choose love, abundance, and peace every time, I’m not! It does mean I will look to see why I didn’t though. It does mean I will celebrate when I do. I love that saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I try my best to keep that in mind when I feel like throwing in the towel and running to numb, avoid, or suppress what is going on inside of me during this time of parenting. Growing can be painful, but it is ALWAYS worth it!
Today, I commit to focusing on my opportunities for growth as a parent. I’ve learned that we each get to choose how we will want to live the experience of parenting. How someone else does it is not my journey to understand, but believe me I’ve spent a lot of energy trying. I realized that when I’m judging someone else’s experience as wrong, I’m in my ego. I’m not in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. My judgments are adding to the energy I don’t want to see in the world. My job is to do dig into my own soil to make sure it’s healthy and fertile for healthy growth, pick and choose seeds from others that feel right for my garden, and offer seeds to others when I’m given the opportunity to do so.
I keep close to my heart that I’m the creator and nurturer of my own internal garden. I have to figure out what needs to be weeded out from the generations before me and what is best for my garden today. If I plant a seed that doesn’t work, I have to be the one who pulls it out. If weeds start spreading like wildfire in my garden, it’s my job to clean them up. I can choose to look at parenting like survival training (which I have) or an opportunity to invest in my gardening skills. I can choose to employ experts to help me find the tools I need, choose the longer path of trial and error, and/or follow where I’m guided intuitively. I get to make these choices constantly.
Asking for and being open to receive help has definitely been some of my AWE-inspiring experiences as a parent. I keep in mind the story of the drowning man who prayed for God to rescue him. First a rowboat comes by and the person offers to save him, he waves them off because he asked God to rescue him. Then a motorboat comes by and the person offers to save him, he rejects the help again because he asked God to come rescue him. Then a helicopter swoops in and offers to pick him up, and again he refuses. He eventually drowns and when he meets God he says, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!” God replies, “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat, and a helicopter, what more did you expect?” Divine guidance, Divine connections, and Divine timing lead me to the people, books, organizations, etc. I need to help me through the challenging times. I just have to be open to see them.
Forgiveness is another VERY important tool in my parenting toolbox. Being able to forgive myself, my partner, and my children are what keeps our family unit moving in a positive direction. My kids can tell if I’m holding onto things, even if it is not towards them, that in itself can teach shame cycle patterns that end up being passed down from generation to generation. I have to remind myself daily, I’m the example. I’ve never believed in do as I say, not as I do parenting. I expect my kids to be watching me. I grow just in knowing that. I want to be the best example I can be for them, that includes when I mess up, I talk to them about my reaction, apologize for it, and hold myself completely responsible and accountable for any energy of fear, lack, and separation that comes out. It’s funny, if I do ever lose my cool and say, “You make me…” The response is, “I can’t make you do anything.” If that doesn’t keep me growing, nothing will (LOL). I never want my kids to feel responsible for any word, action, response or reaction. They are mine to own. Just like they are responsible and accountable for any word, action, response or reaction that comes from them.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (Click the title to learn more about the inward journey of A Better Me)