A Mom’s Tale: Reflections from the Heart

This past Saturday was my daughter’s first high school Homecoming dance. I don’t know if it is because of our recent experience of running from the gun, recognizing how fast time flies, and/or feeling for people like the Guttenbergs and Gabby Petito’s family (and so many families like them) who never get to see their little girls again, but I’ve been feeling super sentimental through this entire experience.


If you know my writings, you know that my journey is about figuring out how to live life from a loving place. It is at the heart of everything I do. Yet as a mom, I’m not above the struggle of the re-surfacing of old wounds and projecting those on my kids. My kids are my drive for living life from a loving place, and they are the ones who help me see the importance of staying on this path. I’m so incredibly grateful to be a mom and to have the opportunity keep doing better for them and myself as I grow right along side of them on this journey. As I’ve written and spoken about ample times, the moment I found the definition of love and truly saw it as the definition was the beginning of a series of life-altering changes in thought, belief, and behavior patterns that keep on offering me the most amazing gifts and blessings.

The definition (in different versions) is posted multiple places in my room as a reminder (that I’m don’t always remember to follow) to project love. Following this definition has changed all my relationships for the better and has given me the strength and courage to remove myself from relationships that didn’t have this definition at the core. Having this reminder helps me be accountable and responsible for my thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors whether I’m operating from a place of love or a place of fear. These two versions of Corinthians 13.4-13.7 are just different enough to make sure I don’t rationalize my thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to confuse love with fear. Even if I can’t see it in the moment, I have the opportunity to hold myself accountable when I CAN come back in a loving way:


“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13.4-13.7, NIV Study Bible (1985)

“Love is patient, love is kind; Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, But rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, Hopes all things, endures all things.”

First Corinthians 13.4-13.7, Harper Collins Study Bible (2006)

I just can’t help but be grateful for my kids, because without them, I would have never known that love could be more than what I had allowed myself to experience up until that point.

At this moment, I feel nothing but love in my heart and it is the most wonderful feeling—pure AWE. My hope is that I will be able to carry this feeling with me as I know I will need it in my next moment where I will have to choose to respond to my kids from love or react out of fear.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me

About this post:

This piece started as a Facebook post on my personal page. I didn’t see what I wrote coming, but as I wrote I felt this need to keep sharing. There is a lot going on in the world right now and sometimes, I need the reminder project love in my daily life. I thought maybe others might too. For anyone who needs it, I hope this helps. Thank you for reading. If you want to see more FromALovingPlace.com, you can explore the page and/or subscribe with your email here:

Running from the Gun

“Gun, run!” Whether those were the only two words that registered or the only two words I heard, those were the words that made my world stop as I looked around in slow motion trying to get my eyes on my daughter as cheerleaders, football players, parents, grandparents, and coaches started to run. We can talk all day long about what we would do in that situation, but until it happens, there is no way to understand the things that go through each individuals head as they are running from the gun. “Run, run, run!” Those were the words that permeated the air. The words that ignited terror in toddlers, teens, and adults alike.

Veterans’ and police training snaps back into play for some as they try to get people to safety and are ready to protect their community. Pure adrenaline runs through the veins making it possible to jump fences and help those who aren’t able get over. No one will be left behind. Dozens of children and mothers flock into a small locker room. I stand outside as I still don’t have eyes on my daughter, yet I have eyes all over the park looking for her, because those are the AMAZING people I’m surrounded with. I know that as soon as someone has eyes on her, my phone will ring.

Little did I know I didn’t even have my phone for a brief period because it fell out of my pocket while hopping the second fence. What is the likelihood the stranger who found it walks to the one person who would push the button on the phone to see my and my boyfriend’s picture on it and know exactly where I was? But, not just that, it was my best friend and the person I was at the game with. She knew exactly where I was standing and handed me the phone. In my hyper-focused state, I didn’t even have a memory of her handing me the phone, but God was looking out for me, and no one could tell me different.

As a mom, I have a check list of all the kids I know going off in my head knowing where I last saw them in case I see their parents or hear someone calling for them. In my head praying that I will see my daughter in one of these batches of kids. “She’s gone, the kids are safe to come out.” Police presence has arrived and the shooter fled.

I’m standing directly in front of the locker room as I watch the kids exit. The memory that will be burned in my head is the one that followed. Kids of all ages crying, screaming, and shaking exiting that locker room. Some have no idea if their parents, grandparents, teammates, friends, or coaches are okay. No one knows if anyone has been shot or got hurt trying to flee. Parents looking on, holding their breath, and hoping their loved one(s) will exit the locker room. Still, no sign of my daughter.

Tears fill my eyes not knowing if she is scared hiding somewhere or hurt. I have no idea if she is with other girls or stranded alone somewhere. The team starts gathering back at the tent—still no sign. I can’t write this next part without tears running down my face because of how blessed I feel to know the friends, parents, kids, and coaches that I do. I had eyes everywhere. One of my friends called to tell me that there were four cheerleaders hiding in a truck. I start moving towards the parking lot as I spot her walking towards the team tent. She was safe.

Once I could stop and look back, I realized what an amazing community I’m a part of. From the people helping get eyes on all the kids, people staying back to help others over fences, people helping direct people to safety, and others helping to keep others from freezing in their tracks, we stood together as a community. Nothing divided us in that moment. We were all in this together.

The next day, we already had planned to gather for team pictures. This community is now bonded tighter than ever. As people told their stories of the day, other stories began to emerge to see that for some—this was not their first time running from the gun. My now 14-year old daughter is a part of the growing numbers that have had this experience.

Thankfully, no one that I know of was physically hurt that day, but there were people whose PTSD was triggered, and some of them have no idea that they even have that. Others, will be traumatized from this event because people will expect them to shove the feelings and experience down. This isn’t intentionally to hurt someone. This is how generations of people are taught to cope, but ends up turning into future problems because a person’s reaction to something else will be triggered by the events of that traumatic day that they never fully processed.

It’s VERY important that we allow people to talk through their feelings and experiences how THEY experienced it from their own point of view. It’s important that a person is allowed to cry, shake, and scream without someone telling them not do do that or feel that way. Looking up “Feeling Wheels” online and having a person specifically talk about which feelings they are feeling is EXTREMELY helpful. They have these wheels for toddlers to adults. The best way to help someone through traumas like this is to allow them to feel through it. It can look scary and ugly, but if they are able to work through their feelings in a healthy way, it may stop the experience from turning into a debilitating psychological condition. Teaching people to shove feelings down or numb them can also lead to addiction as a form of self-medication.

With a growing number of children having to experience running from the gun, I hope we start hearing more stories from specialized psychologists, psychotherapists, trauma therapists, and social workers about how to help them PROCESS the experience in the healthiest way possible. We can talk all we want about prevention, but let’s face what we are being faced with now. Let’s make sure we are not continuing the vicious cycle of mentally unstable people out there with guns because of past unhealed experiences. Healthy minds lead to healthy actions, reactions, and responses.

Last year, I was blessed to facilitate a Heart Wisdom Panel (click for link) with Fred Guttenberg. He’s the author of Find the Helpers and the father of Jaime Guttenberg who was murdered in the mass school shooting in Parkland, FL. I remember reading his book in horror of what it would feel like to know your kids were in this kind of horrific situation. I felt tremendous empathy for the families, faculty, kids, and community. Yet, running from the gun was never my experience, so I had no idea on how truly horrifying it was to run and not know what will come next. I still don’t know what it would be like to actually be in a situation where lives are lost, but so many people do. I have tremendous empathy for them.

Living life from a loving place doesn’t mean that I’m not going to experience traumatic events or have to go through challenging times. It doesn’t mean I won’t face feelings of pain, fear, panic, anger, sadness, or grief. I’m human and all these feelings are apart of the human experience. What I have figured out along the way is that even when I feel these feelings that aren’t always pretty, I can embrace them with love. I can allow the feelings to add to my ability to feel compassion and empathy for others. I know what running from the feelings does, and I know that I rather find healthy ways to process things than allow the shoved down feelings space to turn into psychosis, disease, and/or addiction. I will keep choosing to show up and see each experience as an opportunity to be a better and healthier human.

I don’t want any human’s experience to be running from the gun, but if that is their experience, I want to make sure I’m contributing to helping them find healthy ways to process the experience so that it doesn’t take them down long after the experience is over. I want survivors of the experience to feel empowered to do good in the world and keep choosing to live. Thankfully, trauma therapies have come along way since I was a teen. I have tried, read, and studied many different approaches including traditional, new-age, spiritual, and physical. Some are free and others are expensive, but one thing I know is when I sincerely ask for help and am open to allow that help to reveal itself, I get the help I need 100% of the time. I just have to be willing to stay out of my own way, which means no running, numbing, ignoring, or suppressing what is really going on inside of me. Finding ways to process challenging situations gives me the ability to show up for others in the healthiest way possible, and THAT is what I want. That is what I’m doing here. I’m sharing part of my process with you.

To all the people who have had to run from gun, I’m truly sorry that you had to go through the experience. I’m grateful you are here today. I pray for all the families, communities, and friends of those who didn’t survive the run.

These are my personal perspectives. Each person has a right to feel how they feel and experience events in whatever way they do. This experience is what is true for me. Living from a loving place is what helps me find peace, love, and abundance in this life, and it’s how I choose to live. No one has to agree with how I choose to live my life, but if how I live my life helps others, I celebrate being able to contribute to someone feeling inspired or empowered to grow from each experience no matter how challenging those experiences are. I debated whether or not to write this, but I kept getting called back to the page. Thank you for reading.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me

Taking Responsibility for Contributing to the Collective

I’m taking responsibility for what I’m contributing to the collective. I’m not responsible for what anyone else is doing. I’m serving my highest good when I’m aligned with energy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s not just about the actions I take, but it’s the energy, thoughts, and beliefs I put into those actions. If I do things from the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I’m contributing more fear, lack, and separation to the collective—EVEN IF my actions are what others think will benefit the collective.

What I’ve discovered in the last year of doing the Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace (click to read more) blog series is that doing things for the wrong reasons, which is out of fear, lack, and separation doesn’t serve anybody. The same action can be taken by two people, one out of fear and the other out of love. The one that comes from love is the one that serves the collective in the best way possible. The one that comes out of fear still contributes to the collective of fear. I’ve seen this in the world and within myself over and over. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I truly want to contribute to the collective energy of love, abundance, and peace, I have to take responsibility for when I’m not doing that. I have to watch where my thoughts, beliefs, and energy are going.

I’ve watched myself struggle through some very dark perspectives that have led me to take actions. Even though the ACTIONS were positive, the energy I was contributing to them wasn’t. I was in the energy of fear, lack, and separation and as much as the steps could be good for the whole, my energy wasn’t so I was still contributing to more fear, lack, and separation. It took me a long time to figure out the impact of this on myself and others.

Even now, I’m raising two teenagers whose experiences can help me see where I’m holding onto emotional pain from when I was a teen. I’ve seen myself react out of fear of them repeating patterns. I’m still actively trying to navigate not letting my actions be out of fear while helping them work their ways through this time. I keep repeating to myself, “I’m giving them seeds, they have to choose if they are going to plant them.” I remind myself that they will have to experience what is necessary for their own paths. I have no control over that. The best I can do is guide them by aligning my own energy, because then I know I’m serving them the best I can. I’m responsible for what I contribute to their journeys and that’s it.

When I take responsibility for what I contribute to the collective, it means that I’m going inside to keep myself in check. It’s not about if people agree with my perspectives, choices, and actions. If I know that my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace, the choices I’m making are serving the highest good for the collective. If I’m aligned with fear, lack, and separation, I take responsibility for that and do my best to figure out how stop contributing to that energy in this moment. THIS MOMENT is the only place I can make choices to do better.

With Love and Gratitude,

©Rachael Wolff 2021, Author of Letters from a Better Me

Get your copy today in audiobook, ebook, or paperback!

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #245

I’m grateful for the growing opportunities from parenting. Talk about Divine connections, Divine timing, Divine guidance, and tapping into the Universal messages, kids will be our guiding lights into our own light and our own darkness. I get to see all sides of myself by being a parent—growing opportunities GALORE! But…only if I want them. I can choose to be the heroine or the victim of the experience at any given moment, and believe me, I’ve chosen both! The blessings come in the awareness of being able to spot when I choose what and why.

My children have given me the amazing opportunity to dig deeper. If you have read my book, I give readers opportunities to dig deeper throughout the experience. My motto for myself is go deep or go home. I don’t let my reactions to their words or behaviors go unchecked, I’ve had a WHOLE LOT of reactions throughout the years to dig into. I’ve learned not to judge myself for this, parenting is a growth opportunity. If I reacting in the energy of love, abundance, and peace throughout every exchange, where would the growth be? Beating myself up only kept me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It kept me in a prison of my perspectives. I’ve decided I don’t like prison, so I do everything that I can to stay out of it.

My life as a parent looks absolutely NOTHING like I thought it would in my early years, but it is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, or else it would be different. Since I do believe in Divine timing, Divine connections, and Divine guidance there is nothing but opportunities for growth in every experience. This is the life I get to work with to give me opportunities to align with love, abundance, and peace. Fighting the life I have only keeps me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It’s like me telling the Universe that there was a mistake in the design. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy and I’m going to choose love, abundance, and peace every time, I’m not! It does mean I will look to see why I didn’t though. It does mean I will celebrate when I do. I love that saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I try my best to keep that in mind when I feel like throwing in the towel and running to numb, avoid, or suppress what is going on inside of me during this time of parenting. Growing can be painful, but it is ALWAYS worth it!

Today, I commit to focusing on my opportunities for growth as a parent. I’ve learned that we each get to choose how we will want to live the experience of parenting. How someone else does it is not my journey to understand, but believe me I’ve spent a lot of energy trying. I realized that when I’m judging someone else’s experience as wrong, I’m in my ego. I’m not in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. My judgments are adding to the energy I don’t want to see in the world. My job is to do dig into my own soil to make sure it’s healthy and fertile for healthy growth, pick and choose seeds from others that feel right for my garden, and offer seeds to others when I’m given the opportunity to do so.

I keep close to my heart that I’m the creator and nurturer of my own internal garden. I have to figure out what needs to be weeded out from the generations before me and what is best for my garden today. If I plant a seed that doesn’t work, I have to be the one who pulls it out. If weeds start spreading like wildfire in my garden, it’s my job to clean them up. I can choose to look at parenting like survival training (which I have) or an opportunity to invest in my gardening skills. I can choose to employ experts to help me find the tools I need, choose the longer path of trial and error, and/or follow where I’m guided intuitively. I get to make these choices constantly.

Asking for and being open to receive help has definitely been some of my AWE-inspiring experiences as a parent. I keep in mind the story of the drowning man who prayed for God to rescue him. First a rowboat comes by and the person offers to save him, he waves them off because he asked God to rescue him. Then a motorboat comes by and the person offers to save him, he rejects the help again because he asked God to come rescue him. Then a helicopter swoops in and offers to pick him up, and again he refuses. He eventually drowns and when he meets God he says, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!” God replies, “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat, and a helicopter, what more did you expect?” Divine guidance, Divine connections, and Divine timing lead me to the people, books, organizations, etc. I need to help me through the challenging times. I just have to be open to see them.

Forgiveness is another VERY important tool in my parenting toolbox. Being able to forgive myself, my partner, and my children are what keeps our family unit moving in a positive direction. My kids can tell if I’m holding onto things, even if it is not towards them, that in itself can teach shame cycle patterns that end up being passed down from generation to generation. I have to remind myself daily, I’m the example. I’ve never believed in do as I say, not as I do parenting. I expect my kids to be watching me. I grow just in knowing that. I want to be the best example I can be for them, that includes when I mess up, I talk to them about my reaction, apologize for it, and hold myself completely responsible and accountable for any energy of fear, lack, and separation that comes out. It’s funny, if I do ever lose my cool and say, “You make me…” The response is, “I can’t make you do anything.” If that doesn’t keep me growing, nothing will (LOL). I never want my kids to feel responsible for any word, action, response or reaction. They are mine to own. Just like they are responsible and accountable for any word, action, response or reaction that comes from them.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (Click the title to learn more about the inward journey of A Better Me)

Bridgitte Jackson-Buckley gives a GREAT example of making conscious choices as a parent in this Heart Wisdom Panel

Who Is My Reader?

When I was asked in the marketing meeting about who I wanted to read my book, I thought every woman could get something out of it, since it covers romantic relationships, family, parenting, career, spirituality, addiction, unhealthy belief systems, and all things self. I also thought men could gain a lot of understanding and get a lot from it too, because it would not only give them tools, but help to better communication and empower themselves to make positive change in their lives.

For those who struggle in any unhealthy belief patterns, it gives tools to get out. For those who are healthy, it may help them see how their belief systems help them and give them a better understanding of those who struggle.

The book celebrates authentic empowerment. “Empower Yourself, Change the World!” When we see our own value, we lift others up and don’t tear them down. Authentic empowerment comes from love not fear. It’s about representing what we stand for and not putting our energy into what we are against (VERY IMPORTANT in today’s climate).

The marketing team said I needed to narrow it down to the one reader. Who was the one person I wanted to get through to with my book? I had the picture of the exact person in my mind. I want to get to the woman who is stuck in patterns of abuse, whether it be self-abuse or abuse from others, because self-abuse tends to lead to abuse (mental, emotional, or physical) from either bosses, partners, children, etc. We can accept from others the level of abuse that we give to ourselves.Some unhealthy patterns were passed down so unconsciously that we have to dig down to see them.

The book deals with what belief systems got us into the patterns that get us to act against ourselves in our lives and how to change them. There are so many reasons a person can choose to pick up the book, but if I can help that one person see their value and give them the tools to lift themselves out of living a life they are not passionately in love with, I’ve helped to make the world better.

When we help others see their best selves, it creates an unstoppable ripple effect. I would have never been able to write this book, if I didn’t have every experience I did, read every book that I did, and believe everything that I did. I’m continuously learning how to better myself, and I will until my journey here is done. With that, I’m able to continually give others seeds to help lift them as I get lifted.

At the time of this post, March 3, 2020, it’s been two weeks since Letters from a Better Me has been out and a little over that for the audiobook, and the audiobook is still in the Top 100 for Domestic Partner Abuse (link). My heart feels full knowing that people are getting the seeds I’m giving. I hope they choose to plant them and that they flourish into beautiful flowers. Life is precious, we each deserve to live lives we love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

You can choose from one of your favorite book retailers here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Amazon has the book on sale at the time of this post, and it’s the only place to get the audiobook (Audible).You can see a preview of the book and a sample of the audiobook when you click on the link below.

Audible Release Day of Letters from A Better Me

Today is a very exciting day for me. I love audiobooks, and today mine comes out. It feels surreal. The narrator is the wonderful, Kate Mulligan. Her voice is the perfect fit for this book. You can hear a sample when you click on the link.

3 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE PAPERBACK AND EBOOK RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!!!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

Appreciating the Teachers in the Classrooms

Dear Teachers,

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for all that you do in and out of the classroom. I know being a teacher is not a job you leave behind when you leave school. You invest so much of your personal time and energy to make sure you are doing the best job that you can. You are hit with an unrealistic amount of demands from parents, administration, school boards, government, and committees all asking you to give more and more. 

All that would wear the average person down, but here you are in classes of 20 + kids and trying to give each of them a chance to succeed in an unknown world that changes faster than textbooks can be written. You make the impossible possible five days a week. 

Even accomplishing all the daily riggers, you still take the time to spot kids who need more of you than the subject you’re teaching covers. You still have the ability to spot those opportunities to mentor and potentially change the trajectory of a child’s life. Now, more than ever with the pressures put on these kids, this connection can save lives. You have the ability to catch things we can’t always see. I’m so grateful to the teachers who have helped me see where my kids needed more attention. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to do my part in my child’s success. 

You have so many jobs the second you decide to become a teacher. You answer to so many different people. I want you to know, I see you! I notice you! I appreciate you! Most parents have a few kids to balance and can’t get it all done. You have 20 + and sometimes you make it look so easy when we ask you to do just a little more for our child. I know how big that is! You are a hero. 

If there are days you feel like giving up, I hope you find this letter and it reminds you that it is people like you that are remembered. You are the voices that stick with us as we face all the hurdles in life. We may remember random lessons or moments as we face some of our greatest successes. You are important! You Matter! 

Learning is for you! It’s not for your parents, your teachers, or your friends. It is the one thing nobody can ever take away from you, and what you put into it, you get out of it.

-Lynn Gesdorf (1988) 7th Grade Language Arts teacher

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2018

8 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

SNEAK PEEK: Dear Addicted Child (Adult)

A Letter from Chapter 4: Healing and Releasing the Past

Chapter 4 is all about healing and releasing what doesn’t align with the energy we want to be living in. Chapter’s sections are: Everyday Encounters, Media Triggers, Family History, Loved Ones, Personal Traumas, Spirituality, and Self.

The following letter is one I’ve watched many families dealing with addiction go through. Learning to lovingly detach and not enable addicts is not an easy journey. If you have an addicted child in your life, I personally recommend AL-ANON. YOU will NEVER be able to FIX the addict, but YOU can lessen the negative impact the addict has on your life. You can learn to love, show support, and help him/her/them by taking care of you.

Excerpt from LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World by Rachael Wolff

HEALING WITH LOVED ONES…

Dear Addicted Child (Adult), 

I’m sorry that you found your way to addiction. That is a tough path, and once you’re on it, choices feel limited. I had to realize that I can’t rescue you from this. You are on this path for a reason. The best I can do is show you by example that there is a healthier and happier way. I can’t preach it to you. I just have to live my life the best I can and show you what is possible. I will let you know that I love you, but I can’t enable you.  You must be the one who takes back control of your life. I know you are capable. If I keep rescuing you from yourself, I’m telling you that you can’t get better without me. The truth is: You can’t get better if I’m in control. I will just perpetuate the cycle that you aren’t good enough, and you are good enough. When I enable you, all I’m doing is perpetuating the problem. You have to experience your own consequences in order to grow from them. I know you are capable of living a better life, but you have to choose to. I can’t do it for you.

I will be here to love you and to listen, but I know when you are ready to stop, you will be driven to get the help you need. I must see you as the adult you are instead of the child I was responsible for. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Your successes and failures are leading you on your journey. I don’t know what is best for you because I don’t know what you are meant to learn from this path. I love you and hope you will discover you are worth more than you are giving yourself right now. Until you figure that out, you will continue to suffer. No one else can complete you. You are a whole person all by yourself. 

With Acceptance & Love, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD, Mango Publishing (Miami, FL), 2020. Pages 119-120.

A Letter of Empowerment to Single Moms

Dear Single Moms,

I was raised by you, and I am you. I see you completely in your struggles and your joys. I know how easy it is to get lost in the title. There have been times when I feel like I have to struggle just because I’m a single mom. I’ve felt alone when I’m around all these families who are showing up for their kids. I’ve felt burdened by having to be both mom and dad in order to protect and nurture my kids’ mental/emotional growth. I’ve limited myself by saying things are hard because I’m a single mom. 

The truth is that it is my choice how I view my life as a mom. I can choose to see the many blessings that come with knowing the way I’ve chosen to parent. I can be grateful for the kindness we have received from the people who want to see my children thrive. I can choose to feel like I matter. My contribution to my kids’ lives matters. 

There are times when I feel like I’m operating in total survival mode, but I survive. There is always a lesson to be learned, and I continue to be better. I’m far from perfect. I can choose to do and be the best I can be. Each of us can make that choice at any moment we choose. We don’t have to listen to people who tell us how hard our lives are, we can change the language. When someone tells me how hard it is to be a single mom, I feel my energy sink. I believe them as I share one story after another letting them know just how hard things really are for me. The question is, do I want to focus on how hard things are and what a struggle it is to be a single mom? The answer for me is no! 

I want my kids to know how loved they are. I want to give them every opportunity I can to experience the best life possible. I’m a single EMPOWERED MOM,I want to put positive energy into my role. I don’t want them feeling like I was bitter or resented them for my position. I’ve been blessed in so many ways. I’ve learned so many great lessons, and I’ve received so much kindness and so have they. We are blessed, not cursed.

I’m choosing to parent a different way. My life is better for the choices I’ve made. The happier I am, the better my kids have it. I’m showing them the example of honoring and respecting yourself. They don’t have to be abused physically, mentally, or emotionally. They don’t have to be around excessive drinking or drugs. They don’t need someone just to be there, they deserve better than that. So did I, which is why I chose this road. We enjoy our lives. Do we have many lessons to learn? Yes, but we all do. I believe we get opportunities to learn what we need to become the best versions of ourselves. That is the legacy I want to pass on to my children. I know God will never give me more than I can handle, and I feel the same way about the lessons God gives them.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me & A Better Mom

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

28 More Days Until the Release of Letter from A Better Me

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