Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 76: Using Perspective Tools to Navigate My Relationships

Dear Self,

I choose how I want to view any situation. If I say I want to live life from a loving place, it means I need to make sure my thinking is coming from a loving place when I’m interacting with the people I invite into my life. Using perspective tools helps me to not get caught up in my own story. I have to remember that I’m the writer of my own story and the person I’m communicating with is the writer of hers/his. We are not writing from the same exact point of view. We are going to have different angles on how we view the same situation.

My awareness of where my thoughts are coming from is key. If I question my thoughts to see if they are loving or fearful, I’m slowing down enough to start re-writing my story that is going through my head. I can see that I’m choosing my perspectives of how I’m looking at the situation. I can choose a different angle.

I can choose to be the hero or the victim of any story that goes through my head. The one thing that is important for me to remember is that I’m the lead character in my story. No one can be in charge of writing my story except for me. It doesn’t matter what anyone does to me, the one thing that is always in my power is my perspective, which is my ability to write my story of my inner world. If I want to be living my best life, I need to choose to write stories that reflect that.

When I’m communicating with others, I have to take the time to try to understand where their perspectives are coming from too. If I don’t, there is so much room for miscommunication. Miscommunication leads to fear, judgment, blame, shame, jealousy, and anger amongst other things. First I need to be clear if they are communicating and if their perspectives of truth come from a place of love or fear. Then I need to ask them questions to try to understand why they have that point of view, and how thinking that way make them feel. If the way they are feeling, thinking, and acting isn’t bringing them joy and/or peace, I can question if I want to take on the perspective and I HAVE TO REMEMBER:

NOBODY CAN FORCE ME TO FEEL, THINK, OR ACT any particular way. If someone is coming to me from a place of violence (fear/darkness), they are not in control of my inner world even if they are forcing violence on me in the physical world. They are choosing to live unconsciously in the dark in a inner world full of fear, loathing, rage, horror, blaming, shaming, judging, and hating. I still get to choose which energy I want to be projecting from the inside—That’s my SUPER POWER! I can engage my own light or my own darkness in any moment.

Communicating with perspective tools makes my relationships so much better. It also helps me to see if there are particular characters that don’t need to be in my story anymore. I don’t have to have people front and center in my story if they are trapped in their own darkness and try to create darkness in my physical or inner world. I can choose to take them out of my story or put them in the distant background so that their darkness doesn’t temp me to dim my light. If I choose to keep them in my story it’s to give me lessons of courage, strength, perseverance, and wisdom of how to shine my light even while facing the dark, but if their character has a negative effect on my inner home, I can shut the door at ANY TIME!

I love the choices I have when I’m using perspective tools to navigate my relationships. Life becomes so much more peaceful when I can see what is my stuff and what is someone else’s and that I don’t have to interpret situations exactly like my family, romantic partners, friends, coworkers, business partners, and any other student of life. This is my story! I can question my thoughts until I writing the story that brings me the feelings that inspire me to be loving, excited, adventurous, joyful, compassionate, empathetic, and peaceful. My story—My choice!

Today I’m Grateful

1. I’m grateful for the choices I have to choose how I want to view things.
2. I’m grateful that I don’t have to let a thought ruin a perfectly good day.
3. I’m grateful that my perspective is my power.
4. I’m grateful that I’m choosing to live life from a loving place today
5. I’m grateful that I can choose love even in the face of fear.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 76 – Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships