Unity is in Our Humanity

Sometimes we just need to listen. When we see each other’s humanity, we stop hating what we don’t understand. We tell our stories from our own personal experiences. Each person’s story is important, because they are our truths. When we realize that a person is speaking based on their own personal truths, we understand that we didn’t live their experiences, so we may not have the same truths. It doesn’t make one more or less real than the other person’s truths. Our truths are all perspectives. We make them our reality by believing them. We can’t help others if we first don’t listen to the truths that they are believing about themselves and about others.

When we look deeper, we see beyond the categories and labels. We see the pain, joy, sadness, trauma, happiness, fear, and love within each other.

When we connect there, we unite.

We become vulnerable as the storytellers and as the listeners. We start healing, growing, and expanding. We see that each of us have the ability to change perspectives of truth, beliefs, and thoughts that are no longer working for the life we want for OURSELVES. We can’t change anyone else. We can make choices that will help us live better with ourselves and others. It’s all in how we decide to write and tell our stories.

Successful memoir writers and biographers are masterful at bringing us on a journey of connecting through story. Think of all the stories that have helped you connect to yourself and others. Right now there are so many people offering their stories on Facebook Lives amongst other venues.

I’ve learned so much about where individuals are and how they feel. I sometimes have to look past their rage, because that is the symptom of the pain that is so much deeper. Rage surfaces from unhealed parts of us that become triggered by circumstances, events, others, and even our own self-abuse. I can clearly see if a person’s perspective is from a loving place or a fear-based place. They project whichever one they are living from even when the words are not matching up with the energy they are projecting out.

We don’t have to agree with other people’s actions or views, but if we want UNITY, we have to first see the humanity in each other. Back in 6th century B.C., Greek storyteller Aesop said “United we stand, divided we fall.” We’ve seen and heard these words uttered over and over across categories, titles, genres, and venues. If we want to unite, we can’t just want to see things from our point of view and expect the the rest of the world to fall into place. Unity is in our humanity. It is the ONLY part of us that will experience the same things despite our differences. In our humanity we feel love, fear, joy, hurt, happiness, sadness, encouragement, disappointment, etc. No person’s money, religion, country, politics, race, gender, or sexual preference matter if we connect through what makes us human…LISTEN!

There are so many layers to this. This is just a small piece of a very big UNITED puzzle. But without seeing each other’s humanity, we won’t complete the puzzle. There will continue to be a missing a piece. We will never ALL believe and see the world the same way, so if you depend on that for unity, you will only ever find it in small groups which will keep you divided.

The beauty I’ve found living from a loving place is that I don’t have to agree with people’s beliefs on ANY subject and still see their value. The lessons I’ve learned from other people’s cruelty don’t strip me from seeing their humanity. I see the mentally unhealthy person, and know that it’s not safe or healthy for me to be around them, but I still learn from their story about the dangers of living life through the perspectives of truth that they believe. I see how miserable their perspectives have made them and how it’s hurt their relationships with others. Seeing that person’s humanity helps me to see my own darkness and work on shining light in areas that can easily turn dark if they go unchecked.

If I’m triggered with fear, anger, rage, or hate, I see what parts of me I need to spend time with to heal, so that I don’t project my darkness out to the world and hurt someone else. I don’t ALWAYS do this perfectly, because that is not what the human experience is about. The human experience is about learning. How can I learn if I’m not willing to listen? So, even in my differences with others who want to live from a fear-based place, I still can find a place to unite, grow, and learn. I cannot unite the world, but I can feel united with the world, and I do.

We have arrived at a point in time where we have the ability to listen to people’s stories first hand from all different corners of the world. We have the ability to learn about people’s truths that our different than ours while being safe in our own homes.

If you are looking to try to learn from truths that are different than yours, I suggested doing a meditation first. This helps me to really try to listen to the person’s story and learn from it. I pay close attention to the feelings that are running through me as I listen and see where my thoughts go. I find feelings I’m united in even if they are coming from different perspectives. I listen to hear if their perspective is coming from love or fear. I LOVE when I find people’s stories who are coming from a different way of seeing the world from a loving perspective. Those stories make my soul sing and my heart soar. The love within me expands so much more when I find voices united from loving perspectives. I don’t know if this will be true for you, but when I hear people speaking from fear-based perspectives, I feel so incredibly grateful that I learned a different way of living. Listening to them reminds me of where I once was and how much I’ve grown. Seeing their humanity strengthens my conviction on the way I’ve CHOSEN to live.

I know I need the reminder that unity is in our humanity, because sometimes it’s easy getting stuck in the chaos of what is keeping us divided. When I’m there, it hurts. I feel anxious, disconnected, confused, angry, and sometimes even vengeful if all of that goes unchecked. I know what I need to do to bring me back to peace, and writing these words right now is a part of that process. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

©Rachael Wolff 2020
Author of Letters from A Better Me
Available in audiobook, audio CD, ebook, and paperback
FromALovingPlace.com/book

I Can’t Change You, You Can’t Change Me

My beliefs have never been changed by force. Each perspective of truth (belief) I’ve changed in my life has been based on if that belief serves the person I want to be and how I want to serve others. When I was younger, I didn’t consciously see my choice in how I viewed myself and the world around me.

Certain beliefs made me feel tense, angry, and rage-filled. When I would think about the thought/belief, my whole energy shifted and I often would feel sick and depleted. It took me a VERY long time and a whole lot of seeds from other people that got me to see I was making choices in my perspectives that were holding me back and keeping me prisoner.

There were some so deeply imbedded that it took voices from the Holocaust like, Viktor Frankl & Elie Weisel. Along with people like, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Byron Katie, and stories about Jesus and Siddhartha to help me see that I didn’t HAVE to continue to feel this inner world of pain. Those people were just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve talked to millions of people throughout my life. I read thousands of books. Nobody changed me, but I got the seeds and made choices on what to plant in my internal garden.

When I was young, I thought the world was against me. That belief didn’t feel good to me, because I can’t control how anyone else views me. 

What I do have power over is how I view and treat myself and how I treat others.

If I’m believing something that makes me feel like a prisoner of my perspective, I work on changing that. I found that EVERY time I engage in a perspective based out of fear, I feel like I’m a prisoner. Here is an example of another change I made:

I used to feel like a prisoner when other people would judge me based on a category/title they gave me or that I am naturally.

I changed my perspective to the understanding that people are going to judge me from their own perspectives of truth. That has nothing to do with who I AM. I know if someone speaks to me in a category of ALL: all women, all trauma victims, all white women, etc. that person won’t come close to seeing me, a person is only ever looking at me through their own perspectives of truth. If they want to lump me in an ALL category— That is their loss.

I love and respect myself. I take responsibility and accountability for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

IN THAT ENERGY, I FEEL FREE. In that freedom, I attract amazing people to my life from different genders, races, cultures, religious followings, political backgrounds, economic statuses, and so much more.The more open I stay, the more I change and grow. Not by force, by choice and action.

Though, no one else changed me, I didn’t change on my own. I got the opportunities to SEE through different perspectives. I got the tools to change. I could only do that by being open to listen to ALL different perspectives to see what fit and what didn’t based on the place I wanted to live from, which is FROM A LOVING PLACE. I’ve disagreed with many of people along the way who tried telling me how I “had to” or “should” think. I know that is part of their journey. I don’t have to make it mine.

I know from my education in science, religion, psychology, spirituality, and personal growth, I can’t project out what I don’t already have inside. If I wanted to live from a loving place, I had to love myself FIRST. I had to experience love from the source of self to even know what I was projecting out to the world. I had to find the voices of leadership through love and not fear.

I can’t make anyone else change, but I will do my best to project the energy that I want to see more of in the world. I will do my best to give the people who want to listen the same opportunities I got. I will listen to the voices of the unheard, and learn and grow from them.

I will keep choosing to do my best to contribute to LOVE in my thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions towards myself and others. You do you! I will be here to representing my perspectives of truth FROM A LOVING PLACE.

With Love, Gratitude, and Compassion, 

Rachael Wolff
Author of Letters from A Better Me
FromALovingPlace.com/book

The Writer in Me

Middle school was where I truly began to appreciate the power of the pen. I honestly thought I was stupid until essay questions became more standard on tests. The biggest complaint I would get is there were too many details, but little did they know that was just my divergent brain taking in the limitless possibilities.  Language Arts was the one class I could count on to disappear in a piece of paper. 

Freshman year in high school, I just got out of a treatment program.  I loved it there. I felt like I was in the safest place in the world. I knew what was expected out of me. I was given more responsibilities and privileges the harder I worked, and I got consequences when I broke the rules. I knew what to expect from the time the morning alarm sounded until lights out. To me, it felt like I was wrapped in a cocoon protected from the outside world. 

Leaving the safety of the program was overwhelming. I was used to sitting in my little cubicle quietly doing my schoolwork—No opinions, no discussions, just reading and answering questions. There were no judgments from other students because none of us were on the same material. Even then, I loved learning. There was a safety buried somewhere within the knowledge. 

My freshman Language Arts teacher assigned us a poem about a flower. I wish I had kept that poem. It must have been dark because somehow he could see how I was feeling through what I wrote. He pulled me aside and told me that poetry was like a secret language I could use to get out how I was really feeling. That’s when I started writing poem after poem. 

Poetry helped me find the rhythm in my words. That skill would pay off in many ways through school and through out my multitude of careers. I much prefer to write out what I’m thinking and take people on a journey through the words.

My senior year of high school, I had all my necessary credits to graduate, so I took an independent study of poetry. Many people thought I would pick this one L.A. teacher whom everyone loved. I picked the one that most people dreaded and feared. She was tough, and I knew she wouldn’t let me get away with anything. I wanted to be pushed beyond my comfort zone.

By the time my senior year ended, I had written over one hundred poems. They went to some of my darkest places and helped me to process some of the traumas that tore up my soul. Poetry was the safest place for me to explore my darkest corners. 

By the time I was twenty, I was writing training programs. By twenty-four, I wrote a monthly sales column in an indoor tanning magazine, and by twenty-five I was writing business proposals for more money than I could imagine at the time. Yet, the writing didn’t ever touch me like the dance I had with poetry.

Then just like that, the darkness crept in and I somehow I forgot how to expose it to the light. I forgot how to dance. The dark period would last for years. Then through a series of traumatic events, I picked up my pen and began to write and write, but instead of poetry it was letters. I would write and burn letters to process all my pain. 

With my writing came more healing than I ever knew I needed. I wrote my way into and through college loving every minute of it. I learned so much about technical writing. I thought it would be fun to take a creative non-fiction course. Little did I know it would be one of my most challenging courses, but I was bound and determined to do my best. I sat in a room full of the most talented CREATIVE WRITING MAJORS— I a Human Development major. Let’s just say, I had to REALLY learn to be more flexible with my writing fast. I felt so over my head. They didn’t let me drown, and I’m so grateful for each and every critique. I felt honored to hear, see, and feel the talent in that room. With that, I learned how to dance a different dance of words. 

FromALovingPlace.com was born from deep inside of me; a calling from my soul that has allowed me to continue my dance with words. The writer in me calls me to write letters, gratitude lists, blogs, sayings, articles, and now books.  My dance begins the second my fingers touch the keys. I started today’s post not having any idea what was going to come out, I just started to dance and my fingers took over. 

I allow my passion to take me on this journey daily and I feel full and abundant.

Thank you to all the teachers and professors who taught me how to turn on my light and dance with words. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

40 MORE DAYS TO THE RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!

Rachael Wolff: Here’s My Why

MY WHY

I believe that the healthier our thinking is the more good we can do in the world. When we become more conscious of what is going on inside of us, we are empowered to make better choices for ourselves and the world around us. 

I didn’t come up with this belief. It’s been written about for as long as people have been passing down stories. It’s been studied over and over again. Yet, for some reason, the majority of us resist it out of fear. With that, we keep trying to use fear and accept fear-based thinking to guide us. You see this in our social media, news, politics, and daily interactions with others. 

Even though this has been written about time and time again, the way some people try to get us there is through fear.

Since many individuals are stimulated to move and change through fear, why wouldn’t this method work? 

When we do things from a place of fear, we are NOT focusing on the energy we want. We are focused on what we don’t want. Here’s an example, a God-fearing individual might do things because they don’t want to go to hell. That is a fear-driven way to live and when we fail, get lazy, resist, or make a poor choice, our fear kicks in to high swing and we belittle ourselves and start a shame cycle.  We are not worthy of God’s love. We are not worthy of getting into heaven. 

Not all religious practices are driven by fear, and some have changed it’s messages over time. Even with the changes, individuals still will take the route of shame and fear-based living because they are unconsciously living with beliefs that have been passed down from generations even if the belief has been proven unhealthy or false—The beliefs are embedded. This isn’t just tied to religion. This can be tied to ANY belief system we hold. 

WHY FROM A LOVING PLACE?

This is WHY I do what I do, write what I write, practice what I practice, read what I read, etc. This is WHY I named this blog, From A Loving Place and named my book, Letters from A Better Me. My Why represents the work of thinking from a loving place, believing from a loving place, and doing from a loving place. My goal is to help others open themselves up to live from a loving place too. The larger the community we have living from a loving place, the more our conversations will change on social media, in the news, in politics, with each other, and in the world. This is not a fluff or woo-woo conversation. We can choose to live in fear or love at any minute of the day.

What is wrong with our thinking that living in fear has become an acceptable norm and living in love is woo-woo? 

I know I’m not alone in my why. I see it in the social media I focus on. I see it  in the stories and research I spend my time reading. I see it in  many of the people I choose to have in my life. When I feel better about me, understand where my shadows come from, and see the power my light creates—I soar. I then connect to the energy and people who feel this too. It’s amazing how many amazing people have come into my life since I started connecting to my why.

MY JOURNEY

I’m on a transformative journey. I’m open to learn and grow, so I can pass on what works for me. It doesn’t have to work for you. Our whys don’t have to be the same. I have plenty of friends and loved ones who don’t have the same why. What we do have is some of the same joys, laughter, experiences, triumphs, lessons, fears, sadness, humor, sarcasm, love, happiness and sorrows. Those are the things that connect me to others. When I choose to connect and live my why, I feel free within all those connections. I don’t take our differences personally. I know how I want to live, and I know that I’m making my choices consciously. The healthier I am, the healthier my relationships with others are.  I also am clear on healthy boundaries and trusting my gut when I don’t feel comfortable around particular people. It all works together. 

My happiness in my life comes in large part to figuring out my why. My why is what guides me in my daily choices of how I want to be living. It helps me to learn from my fears, and to change what doesn’t work in my life. This doesn’t mean I ALWAYS choose to live in my why.

WHEN I DISCONNECT FROM MY WHY

I learned important warning signs for when and how I would fall out of living my why in a 12-Step program called AL-ANON.

H.A.L.T.

  • Hungry
  • Angry
  • Lonely
  • Tired

H.A.L.T. is a reminder to check-in with ourselves when we are feeling emotionally triggered. It’s the reminder to stop, take a breath, and reflect. When I’m experiencing one or all of these things, it’s a struggle for me to live my why, because I’m irritable. I take other people’s actions personally. I also, play fear-based messages in my mind because my lack of focus is guiding me to unconscious living. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve screamed at my kids, I’ve blamed others, I’ve held personal pity-parties more times than I can count, but I do all of this when I’m lost somewhere in the hungry, angry, lonely, and/or tired. I don’t want to take care of myself when I’m there, so I’m not present. I’m defensive and lost somewhere in my unhealed past or the unknown future. My head is definitely not where my feet are. 

When I realize that I don’t like the space where I am, I have HALT to help me find my way out: 

  • If I’m hungry—I eat.
  • If I’m angry—I write, exercise, dance, or talk to someone I trust not to commiserate with me but to help me be responsible and accountable.
  • If I’m lonely—I write a gratitude list, call a friend, hug one of my kids, write a letter to myself, or go do something I love to do.
  • If I’m tired—I sleep and if I can’t sleep, I meditate, get on my Simply Fit Exercise Board, or go outside and walk. 

These are just a few of the tools I use to get me back to living my life from a loving place and showing myself the love that I deserve. This is how I get my thinking to a healthy place, so that I can make the best choices for myself and with that—the world I live in. 

DEFINE YOUR WHY

Take the time to define your why. The how, what, where, when, and who hold more meaning when we allow our why to lead us on our journeys. We start understanding that we have to stumble to learn. We don’t have to let our stumbles define who we are, we can let the lessons we learned be our driving force to make better and wiser choices.

WHAT’S NEXT?

 If you feel connected to what I’m saying, make sure to follow the From A Loving Place blog. You can also follow me on Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace for daily inspiration to help you stay connected to your WHY.

I’m also very excited because I will be speaking in St. Petersburg, Florida at Dream Con on February 29, 2020. This will be my first event after my book, Letters from A Better Me launches in 45 days (Feb.18, 2020).  You will also be able to find me in Atlanta, GA at Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore from 4-6PM on March 15, 2020 for a book-signing event. If you can’t make it to see me in person, the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp’s next session will be available in March 2020. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2020

Please feel welcome to connect with my on my author Facebook page (click on link to be connected). 

Dreams Coming True: Becoming the Butterfly

Dear Dreamers, 

I’m writing this today simply because I am beyond excited for what is going on in my life right now. As I reflect on my journey so far, I’m simply amazed at how each and every event in my life has played such an important role in where I am right now. If you follow my writing, you understand that I use nature a lot to make sense of the journey. I want to bring you into my mind’s garden.

My Internal Garden

As a child, my garden was filled with weeds, smuggling vines, and invasive species that tried to kill off any of the beautiful life I would try to plant. So much so that it almost smuggled the life right out of me. It was in 1996 when I realized that I could clear out some of these weeds. That’s when I was launched into a career of public speaking. I planted flower after flower and tree after tree, but what I didn’t realize is that because I didn’t fix the foundation my garden was on, one day I would sabotage this dream come true. 

Those smuggling vines took over my garden once again and I went on a downward spiral. I had so much to learn. Looking back I’m so grateful for all my lessons in my time of darkness. I was living life as a caterpillar that spewed toxic venom because of the environment I created. There were still trees of life and wisdom trying to survive which would lead me to seek help when I was desperate enough to realize that I didn’t like the person I had become. Looking back I was given so many amazing seeds during this time, and it was a message from a pastor that finally led me to really invest myself in not only cleaning up the invasive species from my garden, but to clean up my foundation so that my trees could grow and provide the food that the caterpillar needs to transform into the butterfly. 

His message was that we only allow ourselves as much happiness that we believe we deserve. If we exceed that level of happiness, we will sabotage it. 

You better believe I started getting really dirty in my garden to figure out why I didn’t believe I deserved happiness in my life. As I dug deeper, and got dirtier, the work brought me peace. The more peace I found digging in my garden, the healthier my soil became. I started taking care of those seeds that were given to me. My caterpillar self, started to build a chrysalis. 

I sat for a long time in my chrysalis gaining strength, reflecting, and transforming. In the chrysalis is where I learned the power of letting go and forgiveness. The person I needed to forgive the most was myself. From there, I found away to learn from all the traumas in my life.

What I learned gave me power to plant more amazing trees and let them flourish. I absorbed lesson after lesson of on perspectives to understand how powerful each and every person is at creating their own gardens, and that what others chose to plant was not my business. All I can ever do for someone is to offer seeds in the way that I know best. I also have to take responsibility if I learn that the seeds I’m passing aren’t healthy.

In my chrysalis I found stillness, presence, and mindfulness to keep me in the mindset of maintaining my garden. I realized that any belief that causes me pain doesn’t HAVE to be in my garden, that is a choice I’m making. I have the power to choose my feelings, thoughts, beliefs/perspectives, actions, and reactions. I will learn from each decision I make and I will allow this choice to set me free­— with that, I became the butterfly. My garden now healthy and well maintained provides me with all that I need to keep me nourished, energized, rested, and able to soar. 

This doesn’t mean I won’t need to go back on a caterpillar’s journey again, because each time I do go back, I learn more. I no longer resent the journey, I embrace it, because I know it leads to breakthrough. I gain more perspective, and I become a better version of myself. I just don’t stay in the caterpillar state as long. I move into my chrysalis absorb my lessons and come out more empowered and colorful each time. 

Why Am I Sharing this Journey with You?

I created a program called, “Becoming the Butterfly” that I’m launching at a Dreamer’s Paradise *Now or Never event in St. Petersburg, FL, Oct. 26, 2019. As I’ve been preparing for this moment, I’m flooded with emotion because this will be my first event since 2002. I started my public speaking career in the Tampa Bay Area and now I’m going back there to re-launch my career with so much more to offer. I’m coming home. I’ve been standing up in front of crowds since I was 14-years old. I went on to earn awards in high school for public speaking, English, and guidance, yet back then never knew that it would lead to a path that I loved being on. My garden is exactly how I want it right now. I’m ready to share the seeds that helped me to create it.

This comes in perfect timing as my first book is coming out on February 18, 2020. Make no mistake; there is a reason the butterfly is on the cover. You can read more about it and *pre-order your copy today. 

If you want to start getting dirty right now, you can go to my *90-Day A Better Me Series

Just remember we are the ones who create our gardens.  We have to provide ourselves with the right food to nurture us to become the butterfly. Watching butterflies soar above us, won’t give us our wings. If we want to live the life of our dreams, we can’t just admire the butterflies around us. We have to do the work it takes to become the butterfly. Only then will we soar.

Thank you for being on this journey with me by reading my work. I started writing this blog in 2016 as way to help me maintain my garden. Focusing on perspectives that keep my energy in a loving place has been such an empowering tool. It keeps my foundation filled with love, which is what encourages all the seeds I want in my garden to grow. I am beyond grateful to each individual who has told me how my seeds have helped her/him. I can’t make anyone plant seeds in their gardens and nobody can make me plant seeds I don’t want in mine, so when I know that a person made the conscious decision to do it, I’m truly honored. 

I hope you will join me in spreading the love on social media. The *Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace page offers lots and lots of daily encouragement from pages who have a like-minded visions of  raising our collective energy. You will find all my social media links at on the main page to the left. I hope you decide to work on your garden so that you can be living the life of your dreams. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff 

*Links for more information

Read more about my perspectives on cleaning up our internal gardens here.

3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

Self-abuse is one of the many ways our self-hate, low self-esteem, lack of worth, and negative self-image manifest themselves. We create clutter both inwardly and outwardly when we don’t become self-aware of how we are treating ourselves. This doesn’t help us lead productive lives. This doesn’t help us stay away from the chaos and drama that surrounds us. The more we hate ourselves and treat ourselves with disrespect, the more chaos and drama we will attract to our lives. The clutter in our minds is fuel for the fear, hate, shame, guilt, and violence that is spreading in and around us.

If we want things to get better around us, we have to start within us. Our energy that we put into the world comes from the energy we are feeding ourselves daily. If we want to stop the abuse, we have to stop creating a space where we are apart of the problem. Self-abuse is not helping us or anyone else! When we self-abuse we are showing others that it’s okay to disrespect us, walk on us, and treat us as if we have no value. Many times people don’t even know that that is the way we feel, because our own behaviors have led them to believe that what they are doing is acceptable.

For years, I wanted to be the victim of my own thinking. I found a sick pleasure in being the doormat, but what I didn’t want to see is that I laid down in front of the person who chose to walk across my back. I was trying to find my value because I hated myself so much that I just gave myself away over and over expecting someone to see what I couldn’t. Our lack of value clutters our minds and distorts our realities into believing that we are trapped and that we can’t stop what is happening to us. Just the thought is self-sabotaging and attracts more of what we don’t want.

When my mind is cluttered, it spreads into my personal spaces. I’ve had my bed so covered in stuff that I have barely been able to fit on it to sleep. That’s when I know I have some real cleaning to do. The last time my bed was like that I dove head-first into figuring out how and why I kept sabotaging myself. It was time for me to look at how I was treating myself.

Here are three ways you can help yourself:

1. Become Aware of the Clutter —INVENTORY NEGATIVE MESSAGES

  • How do you talk to yourself when you are looking in the mirror?
  • What do you think about all your features?
  • What do you think about the person you are?
  • How do you feel about how your life looks to you when you look in the mirror?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake for the first time?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you’ve repeated a mistake?

This inventory won’t be done in one sitting. As life situations come up, see how you are talking to yourself:

  • Are you calling yourself names?
  • Are you criticizing yourself?
  • Are you beating yourself with an emotional 2×4?

Just to give you an idea, life situations can still hit me off-guard from time to time and I go back through these steps in order to keep my headspace clean and clutter free.

2. Cleaning out the Clutter—INSIDE AND OUT

  • Start a self-love Journal —Pick a number of days you will commit 35, 45, and/or 90 days. Each day write a minimum of three things you like about yourself. Here’s a hint, if you spot certain positive qualities in others it’s usually because you have them yourself. Do your best not to repeat, especially in the beginning. As you see more and more things you like about yourself, then you can start reusing ones that you are really connecting to.
  • Clean up your physical clutter—Start with a drawer and just keep going. Throw away what you don’t need. Pitch, sell, or donate the things that are just taking up space in your life. Make space for what you want more of in your life. Remember, clear space is peaceful space.

3. Keep the Space Clean—STAY AWARE OF WHERE YOUR MIND GOES

  • Living in gratitude is the best way to keep your space clean. Anytime our minds go to lack, deprivation, fear, hate, blame, etc. we are creating more clutter.
  • Watch your reactions to people. I find this one entertaining. If  a person’s actions work you up: First question your own thinking about what is happening to see if you are fully aware of where your reaction is coming from. Second, I imagine the person saying or doing whatever it is to themselves. Our negative behaviors start from how we are treating ourselves, so we can gain clarity about the situation if we are not taking the person personally. This doesn’t mean we have to accept unacceptable behavior. We just don’t add our own clutter. How someone treats us shows us their love or fear that they are internally dealing with. How we respond to them shows us where we are.
  • Stop the Cycle of abuse. If you see, hear, or feel abusive thoughts about yourself come up, correct them and clean up your self-talk. Treat yourself with love, respect, loyalty, honesty, and compassion. We have to have it inside us before we have a chance of cleaning up what’s around us.
  • Give from a Loving Place. This means you are giving because you want to, not because you think it will make you worthy of someone else’s time, affection, love, respect, etc.

Side effects of these steps are: sleep better, eat healthier, enjoy self-care, kinder thoughts, less judgmental towards others, more compassionate, attract healthier people to our personal and professional lives, more opportunities to do good in the world, appreciate peace, and so many more. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Did what you just read resonate with you? I hope you will explore FromALovingPlace.com and keep reading. I’ll be bringing a new series to the blog starting September 1, 2019. If you are not following along, make sure to sign-up below.

For my female readers, I have EXCITING news! Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order! Click the link to order your copy today!

The Importance of Friends: The Journey to Becoming Our Best Selves

I woke up this morning with the overwhelming feeling of gratitude. As I wrote out my gratitude list, a stream of joy began to flow through me as I thought about the amazing people in my life. Tears are filling my eyes with how blessed I feel in this very moment. It got me thinking about the importance of friends. When we are on the journey of becoming our best selves, seeing the purpose of people in our lives is essential to our growth.

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This doesn’t always look pretty. I know there have been times on my journey where I look up, hands in the air and say, “Really?” Different people come into my life in the friendship and/or romantic role and show me so much about myself. I get to see where I still have work to do and where I shine.

Now that I’m a woman in my forties, I can tell you how EXTREMELY grateful I am to know that I’ve surrounded myself with friends who see me and know me well enough to know when something doesn’t feel right about the way I’m talking. If you are a woman going into your mid to late forties, you know exactly what I’m talking about. For those of you who don’t—HORMONES is the answer. I had NO IDEA the kind of things that would stir up in me so uncontrollably at this phase of life.

Recently, my hormones created a whirlwind of chaos in my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and actions toward a particular relationship in my life. I tried all the tools I could wrap my head around to get out of the thought/feeling cycle running through my brain. When I opened up to a select group of friends about it, I really got to see how blessed I am. I didn’t have people jumping on my chaos driven bandwagon. I had friends who eased my fears helping me to question the toxic thoughts running through my mind. I had friends who reminded me of the tools that I share so many times. I had friends who reminded me of the person they knew in me and in the person I was creating the chaos around. I had friends sharing courage, strength, and hope from their own experiences. Five days from the start of hormone-driven hamster wheel going off in my mind, like hitting a stop button, the whirlwind ended—peace restored.

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I’m so incredibly grateful and blessed to know I’ve picked an amazing group of friends who can recognize when I’m engaged in a story in my mind that is not beneficial to me; A group of friends who doesn’t want to sink down into the muck, but who are willing to lend hands to help pull me up out of it.

Some people think that when you go on this journey, you shouldn’t have down periods, days, or seasons, and that’s simply not true. Sometimes there are days where a fearful story in our heads can take over for a brief time and as we learn and grow the power of the story lessens and the time periods it affects us shorten. When we attract the group and/or single friend to our lives who choose not to go down with us, we know we are on the right track to becoming the best versions of ourselves. The energy that we project out comes from deep inside us and it is reflected back to us in the relationships that we attract into our lives.

If we need a lesson in becoming strong, we may attract people who will teach us when and how to say no, and that is enough. If we see our own worth and we are dedicated to the journey of contributing to living as our best selves, we attract a team of people around us who will help us to see our light and encourage us to keep shining it. Whatever friends are brought to your life, be thankful. You have the opportunity to grow from every experience. There are friends who will be there for short periods and ones who will last a lifetime. Each one has their own unique value. Don’t try force any friendships to be something different than what they are. They are serving the purpose they need to serve. Embrace the journey!

This piece is dedicated to my AMAZING friends.  I love you and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

90-Day Series Updates

Dear Readers,

I’m excited to inform you that I’ve been through each day of the FREE  90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series and now BOTH series are fully available on FromALovingPlace.com. I provided links on each day for easy navigation through every piece of the series. Now that the series is complete, it makes it easier to read like you would a book. Whether you are reading the series again, like some of you have told me you are, or you are new to the 90-Day A Better Me journey, I hope you enjoy it. It was a pleasure to write it and an even greater pleasure to talk with the followers of both series.

Now, I need to go and focus on the editing my book coming out at the end of 2019. If you want to stay in the loop, make sure to subscribe to e-mails. Thank you for all the readers, followers, and commenters. I appreciate each and every one of you!!

Here at the direct links to both series:

90-Day A Better Me Series

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

 

Happy reading!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

FromALovingPlace.Com Followers

Dear From A Loving Place followers,

If you are following this blog, I’m sure you’ve noticed and abundance of e-mails coming in and/or Twitter posts. I’m sorry if the posts have been confusing. I’m moving the first part of the 90-A Better Me Letters Series over to FromALovingPlace.com.  I’m backdating all the posts so that they are aligned with the day the letter is companion to. I wanted to make sure readers have full access to both series here on FromALovingPlace.com. I’m also working on adding links to the corresponding installments on each day. This will take a little time, but I’ve noticed an increased amount of views so I want to make the transitions are as easy as possible for those picking up the series now that it is completed.

I apologize for any confusion and the flurry of notifications. There are twenty-six days to transfer. I’m sorry for any inconvenience during the transition. I’m so grateful to everyone following FromALovingPlace.com. I really appreciate your understanding and support.

 

Have a beautiful day!

 

With love and gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: THANK YOU

Letters From A Better Me

Dear Readers,

I want to take a moment to thank all the readers who came on the 90-Day A Better Me Series adventure with me. This series was such a joy to create and write everyday. It was very weird yesterday taking the day off knowing that the series was over. For three months I’ve committed myself to this project. In the beginning, all I knew was my three parts and that I wanted them for an equal number of days. I made a chart for Part I of all the topics I wanted to cover, then day by day wrote whatever came to me. I’m sure some days were full of grammatical errors, because my pure focus was on the message. When I get too into grammar, my head isn’t focused in the right place. As the month would come to the end I would start making the chart for the next month. I would have to rearrange and change some titles, but everything kept flowing together effortlessly. I felt so blessed that there wasn’t a moment of writer’s block.

My life and learning experiences took me on this journey, so it wasn’t me just asking others to do the work, I was doing it. As many times as I’ve done all this work, I find I have to continue to work on me daily. As a single mother of two teenagers I get tested, and if I’m not keeping up with my self-care, I can tell and they can definitely tell. The difference is now, I allow any dark energy I have to teach me right away so that it doesn’t build into toxic energy.

As you may have noticed along with the series being free there were no outside advertisements. I did this because I know sometimes all the outside messages can break the momentum of feelings and physical experiences that occur during the process. I  just know when I’m  into a message than by accident, I click on an  advertisement or read it, I’m taken out of the moment. I wanted to make sure that you could have the best experience possible.

To all the readers who left me comments, liked and/or shared posts that resinated with you, thank you for spreading the love and appreciation. I loved seeing the familiar faces and knowing when a message seemed to really hit. I love watching people grow within themselves, because I know how it feels and how freeing it is. It was such a blessing to have you all on this journey.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for all my readers and followers.
  2. I’m grateful for the experience of writing the 90-Day series.
  3. I”m grateful to my family and friends who have supported me during this this process.
  4. I’m grateful for all the people who showed up with lessons for me to learn.
  5. I’m so incredibly grateful for having an amazing outlet to reach people across the world who want to unite in love and light.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Here’s a direct link to the 90-Day A Better Me Series Category. Feel free to go back, reread, start from the beginning, or pick and choose along the way. This is your journey now. Just know it’s here for you whenever you want to commit to being A BETTER ME.

https://fromalovingplace.com/category/90-day-a-better-me-series/