I Can’t Change You, You Can’t Change Me

My beliefs have never been changed by force. Each perspective of truth (belief) I’ve changed in my life has been based on if that belief serves the person I want to be and how I want to serve others. When I was younger, I didn’t consciously see my choice in how I viewed myself and the world around me.

Certain beliefs made me feel tense, angry, and rage-filled. When I would think about the thought/belief, my whole energy shifted and I often would feel sick and depleted. It took me a VERY long time and a whole lot of seeds from other people that got me to see I was making choices in my perspectives that were holding me back and keeping me prisoner.

There were some so deeply imbedded that it took voices from the Holocaust like, Viktor Frankl & Elie Weisel. Along with people like, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Byron Katie, and stories about Jesus and Siddhartha to help me see that I didn’t HAVE to continue to feel this inner world of pain. Those people were just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve talked to millions of people throughout my life. I read thousands of books. Nobody changed me, but I got the seeds and made choices on what to plant in my internal garden.

When I was young, I thought the world was against me. That belief didn’t feel good to me, because I can’t control how anyone else views me. 

What I do have power over is how I view and treat myself and how I treat others.

If I’m believing something that makes me feel like a prisoner of my perspective, I work on changing that. I found that EVERY time I engage in a perspective based out of fear, I feel like I’m a prisoner. Here is an example of another change I made:

I used to feel like a prisoner when other people would judge me based on a category/title they gave me or that I am naturally.

I changed my perspective to the understanding that people are going to judge me from their own perspectives of truth. That has nothing to do with who I AM. I know if someone speaks to me in a category of ALL: all women, all trauma victims, all white women, etc. that person won’t come close to seeing me, a person is only ever looking at me through their own perspectives of truth. If they want to lump me in an ALL category— That is their loss.

I love and respect myself. I take responsibility and accountability for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions.

IN THAT ENERGY, I FEEL FREE. In that freedom, I attract amazing people to my life from different genders, races, cultures, religious followings, political backgrounds, economic statuses, and so much more.The more open I stay, the more I change and grow. Not by force, by choice and action.

Though, no one else changed me, I didn’t change on my own. I got the opportunities to SEE through different perspectives. I got the tools to change. I could only do that by being open to listen to ALL different perspectives to see what fit and what didn’t based on the place I wanted to live from, which is FROM A LOVING PLACE. I’ve disagreed with many of people along the way who tried telling me how I “had to” or “should” think. I know that is part of their journey. I don’t have to make it mine.

I know from my education in science, religion, psychology, spirituality, and personal growth, I can’t project out what I don’t already have inside. If I wanted to live from a loving place, I had to love myself FIRST. I had to experience love from the source of self to even know what I was projecting out to the world. I had to find the voices of leadership through love and not fear.

I can’t make anyone else change, but I will do my best to project the energy that I want to see more of in the world. I will do my best to give the people who want to listen the same opportunities I got. I will listen to the voices of the unheard, and learn and grow from them.

I will keep choosing to do my best to contribute to LOVE in my thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions towards myself and others. You do you! I will be here to representing my perspectives of truth FROM A LOVING PLACE.

With Love, Gratitude, and Compassion, 

Rachael Wolff
Author of Letters from A Better Me
FromALovingPlace.com/book

The Ongoing Journey of Letters from A Better Me

https://FromAlovingPlace.com/Book

Ebook and Audiobook Samples

The Latest

This section will be updated with the latest articles, interviews, events, and videos about Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World.

7/30/20 Seek the Joy Podcast—Joy Corner featured author

https://www.seekthejoypodcast.com/joy-corner/rachaelwolff

7/1/20 Heart Wisdom Panel #2

6/18/20 Contribution to an Article about Apology Writing

UpJourney—How to Write an Apology Letter to a Friend

6/4/2020 Contribution to Article about Controlling Men in UpjourneY

UpJourney- Signs of a Controlling Man and How to Deal with Him

5/29/2020 Conversation about Interpretation, Perspective and Purpose with Author Madeline Dyer

5/21/20 diving into Self-Abuse

5/16/20 Audio CD Release

5/16/20 Choices and Perspectives Facebook Live and Youtube

5/11/20 Ravishly.com

As a reader of this wonderful on-line magazine, I dreamed about having a piece featured here. I feel the adrenaline pumping through me as another dream has come true! Learn more about the Letters from A Better Me Journey in this question and answer piece with Erin Khar.

https://ravishly.com/letters-better-me-qa-author-rachael-wolff

5/7/20 Facebook Live Consciously Defining Love and Not Accepting Less

4/29/20 Author Panel: Heart Wisdom in the Coronavirus Crisis

4/29/20 Twitter Interview with Laura Zam #BookPartyChat

https://fromalovingplace.com/2020/05/04/bookpartychat-twitter-interview-about-letters-from-a-better-me/

4/23/20 A Reading from Letters: Accepting Who and Where We Are

4/3/20 Mango Publishing Facebook Live

3/26/2020 Reading recorded from Phoenix & Dragon BookStore on 3/15/20: Finding Our Center

Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore in Atlanta, GA was the first stop on what was supposed to be the Letters from A Better Me Book Tour, but the coronavirus took me on a much different journey from home.

2/18/20 Book Launch Day

Letters from A Better Me was released to the world on February 18, 2020. This piece talks about that AMAZING day.

https://fromalovingplace.com/2020/02/20/book-launch-day-letters-from-a-better-me/

I hope you keep following and enjoying this journey with me! Please feel free to contact me for more information about Letters from A Better Me (you have to send me a comment or question if you want me to respond. If you want to follow the blog, please find the follow button on your device):

#BookPartyChat Twitter Interview about LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME

Last Wednesday, I was honored to be a part of a #Bookpartychat. This was my first-ever Twitter interview about Letter from A Better Me and the writing process with the incredible author Laura Zam, The Pleasure Plan.

Below, you will find the interview in its entirety. Each post is embedded from Twitter. You will be able to go into your Twitter account, like, comment, and retweet anything that moves you or you want to talk a little more about. I hope you enjoy this #Bookpartychat.

A Little Bit about Me

About Letters from A Better Me

“Why do you use letters?”

“Are these your personal letters?”

“What do the three parts of the book represent?”

“Was it difficult to write Part I?”

“Did the book help you deal with our current moment?”

“Can you tell us about your writing process?”

“Did you go right to a publisher, or did you use an agent?”

“Can you tell us about your publisher?

“How long did the process take?”

“What do you believe your book has to offer in the midst of the pandemic we are in?”

“If readers could only take one concept from the book, what would it be?”

“What are you working on now?”

“What’s the best way for people to find you?”

You are here, so you have most the links to find me, the only one you may not have is my YouTube Channel: Letters from A Better Me

Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available in ALL formats. The booksellers listed in the links below are for the United States, but it is available in multiple countries. Please go to your trusted book sellers to find your copy!

https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

You can find samples of both the ebook and audiobook here:

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Letters From A Better Me: Facebook Live on April 3rd at 5PM EDT

JOIN ME LIVE

Hello From A Loving Place Readers,

I hope you will join me on Facebook Live today, April 3rd at 5PM/EDT. If you are seeing this post too late, you may have missed your chance to ask questions but you will still be able to see the video at https://facebook.com/MangoPublishing.

I know we are living in some interesting times right now. Like many, I’ve had times where I’ve struggled to stay centered in grounded when I get caught up in watching the spread of coronavirus along with people who aren’t taking personal responsibility for their choices.

I know I have the tools to put my mind in a healthier place, I even wrote about many of them in my book Letters from A Better Me. What I wasn’t doing is using them. Now, I’ve re-committed myself to using those tools, and I’m feeling such a HUGE difference. This time we’ve been given to slow down seems like the perfect time for self-reflection and moving my thoughts to a place of A BETTER ME.

Join me on this Facebook Live interview where I will be sharing what I’m doing and answering questions about the book and how to stay grounded, centered, and present while we move together for the health of our world.

LIVE LINK, REMINDER, and COUNTDOWN

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

Letters from A Better Me and YouTube: Answering the Calls

A Call to Move

I’m a person who trusts my intuitions, instincts, and signs. I’ve felt calls to do things for as far back as I can remember. Each time I feel clear about the call, I feel safe in where they bring me. I’ve called people in the exact right timing. I show up at a place where I meet someone I either learn from or have something to teach. I miss a major accident. I’ve learned to trust the calls I get about when and when not to show up, along with what and what not to do. Sometimes, I have lessons to learn, so I don’t expect that just because I answer the call it’s going to be sweet and rosy. No matter where I’m led, there are blessings. Sometimes I have to dig a little deeper to find them, other times I can see the beauty in the instant I start taking action.

As the coronavirus moved into the United States is exactly when my book tour for Letters from A Better ME was getting started. I was able to do one event before the rest of the tour was shut down. The one event was in Atlanta, Georgia at a new-age store called, Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore. This setting was perfect. I felt like I was surrounded by people (and cats) who were conscious of each other’s spaces. The room I was in had plenty of space for people to spread out safely, and the numbers were very small. I knew that the people who were there were the ones who were meant to be there. I felt called to go there and I’m so happy I followed the call. Being there was just what I needed to go into the next call I received, which was to completely stay at home.

A Call to Stay Home

I knew that after the event, I had no further need for being out and about. I spent the rest of my time in Marietta, GA listening to the birds and trying to spot deer. When I got home, I felt content in my space. I’ve left the house to be in nature, walk, and get necessities. I read something on Facebook, which sat with me.

Do not change your behavior to avoid being infected. Assume you are infected and change your behavior to avoid transmitting.

-Anonymous

Being a very healthy individual, I’ve been driven more by the possibility of me carrying coronavirus and not knowing it. I’ve also considered all the people who HAVE to be working with the public right now and trying to make life easier for them. The best I can do to reduce my potential of being a carrier is to stay centered and grounded at home, so that is what I’m doing for my family, community, and myself. The more conscious and calm I am, the healthier I stay. This enables me to hear the Universe’s call to serve when it’s my turn.

A Call to Remain Conscious and Calm

If there is any call in my head that is stronger than anything else right now, it’s the call I feel to be conscious and calm. I’ve had to use many of the tools I’ve learned through the years to keep bringing me back to this place, because I do slip. I keep reminding myself to do the best that I can. I’m not going to navigate this perfectly. I do feel like it’s my job to remember that wherever I go in my head is my choice. Chapter 8 of Letters from A Better Me is focused on practices to keep us grounded and centered in the present moment. Beyond the tools in the book and the ones available in the 90-Day A Better Me Series (Free), I go back to these statements that I’ve shared before from my Becoming the Butterfly Workshop:

A Call to Serve

If you follow my work, you know I offer A LOT of tools to navigate the dark places in our lives and in our heads. With the cancelled book tour, I’ve been remaining open to figure out ways I can serve. One of the signs that became very apparent after multiple nudges from the Universe was to make videos of some of the reading I did at Phoenix & Dragon and to share different tools and practices that can really help people who are not used to slowing down like we’ve been asked to do.

The funny thing is that I’ve been putting off creating a YouTube channel for years, which is when the nudges began. I just didn’t FEEL called to make anything. The timing just never felt right, because it wasn’t. With a cancelled book tour and time on my hands—Now is the time. I watched a YouTube video on how to use my iMovie app and got to work. I’m serving double-duty of getting my book out there and offering readings and tools from the book that I know could help people during this challenging time. I will keep posting what I feel called to share. It’s important to me to honor the calls.

A Call to Use YouTube as a Tool

During this time, I’ve noticed I’ve been using YouTube more than I ever have before. I find it’s giving me bite-sized pieces of what I need in the moment. I’ve found my facts, inspiration, comic relief, meditations, and how-to projects all with taps of my fingers. I’m choosing what I watch wisely! When I’m not conscious of what information I’m filling myself with, I start feeling stressed and my sleep patterns pay. I have to reel myself back in. When I do that, I sleep better. We can get the information we NEED without being inundated and getting drug down into the darkness. It’s more important than ever to BE WHERE OUR FEET ARE! Practice mindfulness and staying present wherever you can.

Making Myself Available

I’ve been doing my best to make myself available to anyone who needs some extra support right now through all my social media channels. I hope you will find the support and encouragement you need on my pages. If you need more, please feel free to contact me (here). I will do what I can, because I know if you are called to reach out, there is some form of emotional support that I can offer.

I hope if you read this, my words bring you comfort.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

If you are interested in buying the paperback edition of my book right now, I urge you to support the local bookstores who are struggling right now. This link is helping to raise money to keep local bookstores going. Whether you are purchasing Letters from A Better Me or something else. If you can’t support your own local bookstore, please consider ordering from here: https://bookshop.org/books/letters-from-a-better-me-how-becoming-an-empowered-woman-transforms-the-world/9781642501407

Virtual Book Tour: Letters From A Better Me

How Quickly Plans Change

As you can probably imagine, my book tour was cancelled due to COVID-19 coronavirus. I get it, and I want to do my part by staying home so that healthcare workers can do their best and hopefully get a break in the near future. I will tell you, I have become very aware of how much I use my hands and how many people touch the same things I do. I’m sure like many others, my hands are cleaned to the verge of cracking, so I added a 20 second lotion ritual to my 30 second hand washing ritual.

Doing My Part

Since my book can actually help people through these challenging times, I REALLY wanted to find a way to get Letters from A Better Me out into the world. Perspective can definitely be what empowers us or keeps us prisoner right now, and Letters is all about becoming aware of where our perspectives are taking us and how to make sure they are aligned with the life we actually want to be living. This is CRITICAL in times like we are in right now.

Virtual Book Tour

I decided to make a series of videos which will include readings, practices, and tools from the book. You are welcome to ask questions and contact me here or in the comments below. Don’t forget to follow the blog via e-mail so that you will be able to see the latest videos.

When we go within, we empower ourselves to make the best choices and stay conscious and calm while doing what is best for ourselves, our families, our community, our country, and our world. I hope you will join me on this journey and make the choice to rise together. I’m committed to find the blessings and lessons that will make me a better human. Embrace the journey, because we are about to do deep!

Letter from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Get it in paperback, e-book, or audiobook:

Http://FromALovingPlace.com/book/

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY 2020: Rising Up to Our Best Selves

International Women’s Day 2020

March 8th

A day to celebrate women in all our glory, strength, and empowered souls. A day to look at the contributions of women to our beautiful humanity set inside WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH.

ARE YOU LOOKING DEEP ENOUGH?

Look beyond the surface of what our physical eyes can see. GO DEEPER! Explore the journeys. They will not always be as pretty as the end results we celebrate. The caterpillar journey is just as important as the butterfly. I invite you to sit within your chrysalis and self-reflect. What does International Women’s Day 2020 mean to you?

If we are not aware of the belief systems that make up our perspectives of truth (our beliefs), we are missing so much. We are interpreting the world through glasses that are not our own. It’s time to GO DEEP into the journey of what makes us who we are both separately and together.

CELEBRATE YOUR JOURNEY

What lessons have been the most impactful? Was it the times when things came easy or the times you were called on to RISE UP and be the change within yourself? What got us to the moments we celebrate now? What traumas were we able to use to lift our ability to shine as humans?

WHERE CAN WE DO BETTER NOW?

When I use the word now, I mean it. RIGHT NOW, what can you do better in this moment? If you are internally living in a place of lack, RIGHT NOW you could write five things you are grateful for and you have taken a step into abundance. RIGHT NOW you can write a friend a letter thanking them for what they contribute to your life. RIGHT NOW you can reach out to a business resource to help you deliver your message, product, or both. RIGHT NOW you can start looking at what is holding you back from loving that person in the mirror and start investing ways to fix it, whatever that means for you.

Our perspective is our freedom or our prison, our power or our weakness, our lack or our abundance, our empowerment or our oppression. We are making choices RIGHT NOW. Be conscious of what you CHOOSE. We don’t HAVE to believe anything that attempts to disempower us. Even if it lies within our own self-criticism.

RIGHT NOW you can write perspectives down that will serve you better than the ones you are carrying around with you. If you feel that tightness in your body, you are believing something that is not serving you. FREE YOURSELF! You are only ever a perspective away, but no one can choose the perspectives you are going to put your energy into. This is YOUR POWER—YOUR EMPOWERMENT!

DISCOVER YOUR AUTHENTIC EMPOWERMENT

Empowerment from a loving place is how we lift ourselves and the world. That is why I’m offering my readers a VERY special extra when they purchase and read Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World in 2020. Send me any questions you have about the book and how to apply it to your life in the contact section (link). I will send you my personal response in PDF form so that you can easily print it out and use whatever tools I give you. Please feel free to reference page numbers and/or quotes if you want to take the conversation deeper. I invite you to go deep to reach your authentic empowerment, so that you can truly live your best life. PLEASE read the WHOLE book before you contact me with your questions. I want you to get the most out of the experience, and you can only do that with the FULL picture.

START NOW! If you still wonder if the book is the right choice for you, there are samples of e-book and audiobook are available in the link below.

making women’s history month matter

What will you do to make this month bring awareness, growth, perspective, and positive change to the world? This is a human question, it has no gender lines. If we want positive change, the answers must come from a place of love, not fear pretending to be love. Love lifts us all and fear takes us down and separates us. Make sure you are operating from a place that will lift you and the world.

With an ABUNDANCE of LOVE, GRATITUDE, and Appreciation,

Rachael Wolff

Who Is My Reader?

When I was asked in the marketing meeting about who I wanted to read my book, I thought every woman could get something out of it, since it covers romantic relationships, family, parenting, career, spirituality, addiction, unhealthy belief systems, and all things self. I also thought men could gain a lot of understanding and get a lot from it too, because it would not only give them tools, but help to better communication and empower themselves to make positive change in their lives.

For those who struggle in any unhealthy belief patterns, it gives tools to get out. For those who are healthy, it may help them see how their belief systems help them and give them a better understanding of those who struggle.

The book celebrates authentic empowerment. “Empower Yourself, Change the World!” When we see our own value, we lift others up and don’t tear them down. Authentic empowerment comes from love not fear. It’s about representing what we stand for and not putting our energy into what we are against (VERY IMPORTANT in today’s climate).

The marketing team said I needed to narrow it down to the one reader. Who was the one person I wanted to get through to with my book? I had the picture of the exact person in my mind. I want to get to the woman who is stuck in patterns of abuse, whether it be self-abuse or abuse from others, because self-abuse tends to lead to abuse (mental, emotional, or physical) from either bosses, partners, children, etc. We can accept from others the level of abuse that we give to ourselves.Some unhealthy patterns were passed down so unconsciously that we have to dig down to see them.

The book deals with what belief systems got us into the patterns that get us to act against ourselves in our lives and how to change them. There are so many reasons a person can choose to pick up the book, but if I can help that one person see their value and give them the tools to lift themselves out of living a life they are not passionately in love with, I’ve helped to make the world better.

When we help others see their best selves, it creates an unstoppable ripple effect. I would have never been able to write this book, if I didn’t have every experience I did, read every book that I did, and believe everything that I did. I’m continuously learning how to better myself, and I will until my journey here is done. With that, I’m able to continually give others seeds to help lift them as I get lifted.

At the time of this post, March 3, 2020, it’s been two weeks since Letters from a Better Me has been out and a little over that for the audiobook, and the audiobook is still in the Top 100 for Domestic Partner Abuse (link). My heart feels full knowing that people are getting the seeds I’m giving. I hope they choose to plant them and that they flourish into beautiful flowers. Life is precious, we each deserve to live lives we love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

You can choose from one of your favorite book retailers here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Amazon has the book on sale at the time of this post, and it’s the only place to get the audiobook (Audible).You can see a preview of the book and a sample of the audiobook when you click on the link below.

Book Launch Day: Letters from A BETTER ME

BEST FEELING EVER

Driving down the road to familiar words. They are my words coming through my speakers. The beautiful voice of Kate Mulligan fills my car as she articulates the messages of the book so clearly. You can feel the letters in her voice.

(Link to sample of audiobook here)

Barnes & Noble Naples, FL

Naples Barnes & Noble is like coming home to me. I’ve spent so many hours in these stacks of books. Tina Wainscott of the Seymour Agency, who is now my agent, and I used to come here when I was going through a very dark time in my life. I would look through books in the sections, where now my book sits. I would let the Universe guide my fingers as I would pull a book from the shelf. Now, I think about how just maybe, a woman struggling to find her worth will do the same thing and come across my book. She will look inside and realize, this is exactly what I’m looking for.

I have purchased so many of the books that got me where I am today from this store. There was no where else I wanted to be on launch day! Tina shows up with beautiful flowers with a Letters from A Better Me sign tucked in, perfect, just perfect! The President of the Seymour Agency pleasantly surprises us for this special moment.

My partner and my kids are by my side. They finally get to see the culmination of everything I’ve been working on. If you have or have ever had teenagers, you probably get the power of a moment like this. For the past two years, they have been listening to me talk about writing, but not seeing the bigger picture of what that means. In this moment, they got to see their mom’s name and book looking back at them.

I got there at 11:30AM, by the time I came down to sign stock copies, there were only two left. Ten more were ordered for the store before I left. On Wednesday, I heard that people were already beginning to reserve the upcoming order. I feel so incredibly blessed to not only have the support of this amazing community, but of Barnes & Noble for making sure people in Naples had a place to go to get their copy!

Celebrating on the Patio of CaNtina 109

Finishing the night with an AMAZING cake from my AMAZING agent and Soul Sister!

A Truly AMAZING DAY

Standing in a labyrinth feeling the desert breeze in Sedona, Arizona, I ask myself “Can I write a women’s empowerment book?”

YES!

Other purchasing options can be found here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Thank you to the amazing team at Mango Publishing and Blackstone Publishing for bringing this book, ebook, and audiobook to life!

With So Much Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020