I’m grateful when I can see the human in someone. If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you might know that I struggle when people use the word “ALL” to define a group of people in a positive or negative way. People aren’t all good or all bad in any group. We all have light and shadow within us, it’s what we individually do with it that makes a difference. When we categorize people in groups, we dehumanize them. We can’t see a person within a group clearly whether we put a group on a pedestal or in the mud.
In college I studied human development, psychology, sociology, religion, cultural anthropology, education, amongst other subjects. My eyes REALLY got opened to just how often people are lumped into “ALL” categories, and how it effects MY vision when I put them there. I went to a diverse college, and taking cultural anthropology was a GIANT wake-up call for me. I like to see individuals. I like to look at if a person is coming from a place of fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance, and peace.
I started studying individuals who were heroes, victims, and Nazis during the holocaust. I studied victims and perpetrators of abuse cases. I studied different people who came from minority groups who saw the world very differently. I study people who are republicans and democrats. I’ve never stopped my studying of people. 2020 has kept me VERY busy. I love listening to the stories a person is telling themselves whether I agree or not doesn’t matter. Whatever someone is saying out loud is how they are internalizing their inner world. That is how I see it. One of the things I’ve learned if someone is spewing hate, they are talking to themselves that way in the mirror. People who don’t self-abuse, don’t feel the need to do it to others or take it from others.
I’m not going to lie and say I don’t struggle when I hear hate being spewed out, I do. What I realized is if someone is spewing out hate for a group, they have dehumanized the group. They don’t want to see someone from the other group as human, and that comes from the place of fear, lack, and separation not only from other but from themselves. It’s not the person they are judging that I see, it’s the person who is spewing the hate.
Knowing these things has helped me to see people, and determine by what I see if I want to interact with their energy or not. I hold my energy space sacred. When I put people in groups, I sometimes miss individuals who are spreading love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation. I don’t mind missing people spreading fear, but I love seeing individuals spreading love, abundance, and peace no matter what group they are from. I recently missed someone spreading fear, lack, and separation because I lumped her in a group called “healers”. I forgot to look to see the human in her light and her shadow. The awakening to see that it wasn’t the right energy for me to be aligning with was something I grieved. I’m grateful I saw her in her human form. My disappointment made me realize I put her on a pedestal, which is a dangerous place for anyone.
When I see the human, I allow energy to work it’s magic. I pay attention to if I feel drawn to someone like a magnet (like energy) or if I feel resistance to the person (mismatched energy). I’m not saying a person is good or bad, I’m simply paying attention to where my energy is and where their energy is, if they align awesome, if they don’t—I DON’T TRY TO FORCE THEM! I’m not saying I haven’t tried, I have (LOL), but the results always come out the same. I find it best to let the energies to part naturally. When I trust God’s timing, a way out of a learning experience with a person makes it’s way known and VERY obvious—at least for me. The beauty of it all is that no matter how much someone’s light or shadow has taught me, I’m grateful I saw the human in them, because that is where the growth is.
Today, I commit to seeing the human in someone I disagree with. All I have to do is go on Facebook and I will see quite a few people that I disagree with. None of us or better or less than another human. We are the same in certain areas and we are different in certain areas. We each tell ourselves stories. We get emotionally attached to those stories and they become our reality. Each person within any group has their own set of stories. Do their stories come from fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance, and fear? When I’m interacting with someone I’m disagreeing with, do the stories in my head come from fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance, and peace? If I’m coming from a place of fear, lack, and separation, I will resist seeing the human that I’m disagreeing with. If I’m coming from a place of love, abundance, and peace, I will actually ask questions because I want to see the human in them. I don’t ask questions to provoke them or to set them up, that comes from a place of separation. I want to know what they are attaching to in their story that gets them thinking the way they do. They aren’t a better or worse human than I am because they think the way they do. They are on their journey and I’m on mine.
- Do I want to take some of their seeds with me on my journey?
- What feelings can I relate to?
- How does feeling those feelings make my energy feel?
- Do you tell yourself a collective story that is similar to the one the person is saying to themselves about a different topic?
- What inside you is reacting to their story?
- Do I feel connected to this person’s energy in anyway?
- Is it from a place of fear, lack, and separation or love abundance, and peace?
- What is something that they are doing that you have done on a different topic?
- What prayer could I say for this person that would support them aligning with love, abundance, and peace?
- What prayer do I need to say for myself to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace while engaging with this person?
- What can I learn from my experience with this person?
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2020
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World