90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 80: Living Gratitude in My Relationships

Dear Universe,

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the relationships I do in my life. I feel blessed to have learned so much from the relationships of my past. I feel so incredibly blessed to be living gratitude in my relationships more than I choose to live in lack now. I’m so incredibly grateful to experience so many different people with different backgrounds, experience, and opinions. Each one helps me to grow exponentially.

Living Gratitude in my relationships has shown me exactly where I am in my perspective. When I see someone’s light, I’m in my light. If I see and react to someone’s darkness, I’m in my darkness. If I respond to someone’s darkness from a loving and grateful place, I’m in my brightest light. If I feel my inner people pleaser emerging, I’m stuck in feelings and energy of lack. If I do things for others, because it feels good to do it, I’m in my feelings and energy of abundance. Living in gratitude helps me to spot, shift, and change my feelings, thoughts, and actions to project abundance to the people I’ve chosen to love, honor, and respect. I’m so incredibly grateful to have learned how to do this. The blessings that have come from living gratitude in my relationships are nothing short of miracles.

Seeing the best in people in my life has helped me to see the best in myself. When I can spot the beauty in them, I see that I had to project that beauty out to be attracted back to me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to recognize and appreciate it. I would still be stuck in picking apart the other person if I was picking apart myself. I see now that the only time I’m picking on someone else to others or even to myself is when I’m digging at myself. I may be angry with myself for saying yes when I know that I wanted to say no. I may be feeling weak because I sacrificed my healthy boundaries to appease someone else’s comfort. I may be feeling justified in my toxic energy I’m putting out because someone else’s is worse. I may be feeling insecure about who I am so I take it out on someone else.  Anyway I look at it, it all comes back to the energy that I’m putting out and that is MY choice.

I want the people I love to know exactly how much I love and appreciate them. I want them to see how much them being in my life means to me. I can only do this by choosing to live in gratitude in my relationships. In order to do that, I must decide to live gratitude in my life.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my children for being who they are and showing me ways to be a better mom daily.
  2. I’m grateful for my dad and my “special mom” who taught me so much about love, life, growth, and death.
  3. I’m grateful for my mom being a beacon of light even when I am in my darkness.
  4. I’m grateful for my sister for helping me to learn so much about what it means to be strong and compassionate while standing up for the people we love. I’m incredibly grateful for her ability to bring out the best laughs in me by the mere sound of her laughter.
  5. I’m grateful for my stepdad for loving me like I am his own and being such an amazing friend.
  6. I’m grateful to my amazing partner who I can love and accept for who he is and where we are in each moment. I’m so grateful we both know how to support each other in loving and encouraging ways.
  7. I’m grateful to all my incredible extended family who show up with love and support no matter how much time passes.
  8. I’m grateful to my absolutely AMAZING soul sister and agent for encouraging me to spread my voice and my work as we travel this life’s journey together. I’m so incredibly grateful for the day when everything came together in the Universe for us to meet over a decade ago.
  9. I’m grateful for my friends new and old who show me my light and my darkness and give me so many opportunities to live, laugh, and love.
  10. I’m grateful for the relationships that trigger my darkness so I can see it and heal it.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you missed it, check out today’s installment get 6 Simple Steps to Living Gratitude in Your Relationships by following this link: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 80 – Living Gratitude in Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 76 – Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 76: Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

“Each time you are tempted to become angry, or jealous, or fearful and you challenge that feeling, you empower yourself.”

-Gary Zukav

In Part II, I covered the topic of perspective (Days 42-46). We can’t use the tools of perspective until we understand how our perspectives of truth affect our lives. Until we understand about perspectives we want to see us as right and them as wrong. This view is a dark path that leads to fear, anger, hate, resentment, jealousy, revenge, envy, and codependency. We ALL know the effects of these things on our relationships.

Using perspective tools to navigate our relationships opens us up to hear what our family members, romantic partners, friends, coworkers, bosses, clients, and others are saying and where they are coming from. The more we can use our perspective tools the healthier we will be in our relationships, because as we ALL know NOBODY is going to agree with the when, where, how and why of everything we do, say, and feel. Just like, we won’t ALWAYS agree with someone else’s choices.

Using perspective tools is away to reduce the stress of not seeing things from the same angle, because really, that is all it is. We will never have the same exact view of life as any other person. We ALL have the journey each of us are meant to have, no two will ever be exactly the same. If we plan on taking any kind of relationship path with a person, the best we can do is be open to try to understand. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or change our ways, but by understanding our perspectives of truth, then making the effort to understand theirs—There is peace. Communication will improve, but we will talk about that a little later in the series. For now, we will focus on how to use perspective tools to navigate our relationships.

5 Ways You Can Use Perspective Tools

  1. We are either interpreting the moment from a place of love (light) or fear (darkness). The first step is to look at what you and the person you’re communicating with are projecting, love or fear. If either party is projecting fear, question where the fear is coming from inside.
  2. We ALL have a story we are telling. No matter what happens there are lots of ways to write our stories. When we don’t like the way we feel, think, and/or act we can choose a different way. We give the power to our stories. We decide if our story is going to be led by love or fear. How do we want our character to treat the secondary character in front of us?
  3. Try to see from the perspective of the other person. This means you have to ask a lot of questions to figure it out. Don’t tell the person how they should feel, think, or act. Ask questions to uncover why they are feeling, thinking, and/or acting the way they are. If you take the time to understand where they are coming from it’s easier for them to hear you when you explain where you are coming from.
  4. Speak in terms of perspective. You need an understanding of your perspective of truth that works in your life. Their perspective of truth might work in their life. You can ask: Does thinking the way you do bring joy and peace to your life? If it doesn’t, and your perspective of truth does bring joy and peace to your life, you are now open to explain without telling them they HAVE to change. The choice is theirs. It all depends on the perspectives we choose to believe. If your perspective doesn’t bring you peace and joy, maybe the other person may have perspectives you may want to implement in your life.
  5. KEEP QUESTIONING YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Please, if you find yourself blaming, shaming, and judging others or yourself— Go back to Part I (Days 1-30) of the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand work through what is keeping you from having healthy relationships with others. The more we question our thinking, the better we will be.

If we use these tools, we start getting real honest with ourselves about the people we are inviting into our lives. We start noticing the energy they are bringing with them and how we feel when we are around them. If they are large sources of darkness, the more we spot it, the more we can protect ourselves from it. We will get more into that later. Like we talked about yesterday, we first have to stay present with the person standing in front of us. Once we are present, we see perspectives of truth clearly.

Once we see that we are all just interpreting life through our own unique perspective, we stop taking it so personally when people don’t agree with ours. We can question our perspectives of truth without feeling violated. It becomes much easier to say, we just see things from a different perspective and that’s okay. This is why mine works for me… If yours works for you and brings you peace and joy believing what you do—GREAT!

After we learn to navigate our relationships through the use of perspective tools, it makes it much easier to see which relationships work and which ones don’t in our lives. The more peaceful we remain in someone else’s chaos, the more the energy shifts and changes. The other person will either find a place of calm with you, or they may start unconsciously trying to stir up more chaos to break the relationship. Either way, you will be blessed the calmer and more peaceful you stay. The Law of Attraction will work in your favor.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 76

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 72 – Honoring My Most Important Love Affair

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 72: Honoring My Most Important Love Affair

Dear Self,

With this letter, I’m writing my vows to you. You deserve the ultimate love story and I know that I can give it to you. Here are 10 promises I vow to you:

  1. I promise to love you mind, body, and soul at all time because we are lifetime partners and you deserve the greatest love affair.
  2. I promise to respect you and the journey you are on because you are responsible for any feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, and reactions that come from you.
  3. I promise to honor the time that I have with you and be present to your needs, because I know your time is valuable.
  4. I promise to protect you from situations that aren’t in your best interest, because you are valuable.
  5. I promise stand up for you when you need a voice because your voice is important.
  6. I promise to explore and go on adventures with you because I know that is what you love to do.
  7. I promise to take steps to follow your passions because they are part of what makes you shine.
  8. I promise to honor your spiritual path because connecting to service through spirit feeds your soul.
  9. I promise to provide your body nourishment because this will be our vessel for this lifetime of learning, love, and growth.
  10. I promise to take the time to slow down and be mindful to nourish our relationship because only through the strength of our relationship will others learn how to treat us.

You and the Divine Source of ALL love are the only two lifetime partners I will ever have. In order to live the best life, I have to show this world the best I’m capable of being and all that starts with my love for you. My light only shines as bright as the love I have inside. I will sabotage any love that isn’t as strong as mine is for you, so these promises not only ensure I live this best life with you, these promises will help me shine my light bright for the world around me. The brighter my light, the more love I’m able to give and receive from others. So with this letter, I fully commit to our love affair. You and the world are worth it!

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the relationship I have with myself today.
  2. I’m grateful for the knowledge that I’m worthy.
  3. I’m grateful for the opportunity to make today better than yesterday.
  4. I’m grateful for the love I’m capable of giving and receiving to/from others.
  5. I’m grateful for being a life partner with the person I am today.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 72 – Having the Most Important Love Affair

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 68 -Building My Home on a Foundation of Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 68: Building My Home on a Foundation of Love

Dear Self,

I envision this home within my soul. The colors create beautiful glows of light in every corner. The structure is sound and the interior is filled with warmth. The porch swing creates a wind of peace as it moves back and forth. The furniture is comfortable lovingly worn. The kitchen is a place of enjoyment celebrating the taste buds. I come alive when I envision this home within my soul because it was created with love.

I sleep soundly in my bed knowing my home is safe from intruders. I have to invite someone in and if they choose to disrespect my home, I can ask them to leave. I choose when to shut the door; they stay as long as my thoughts keep them there. I’m responsible for how the people I let in treat my space.

Building my home on a foundation of love means that I choose to clean and maintain my home according to my liking. If I’m feeling a little chaos swirling, I might need to sweep the floors. If I notice the structure needs added support, I’m responsible for giving my home what it needs to function the way I want it to.

Love will always bring me back to center. Love will show me the way if one of my lights goes out. Love will show me when my dimmer switch is set too low. Love will show me when the home needs repairs. Love will grow my landscape into the most beautiful garden for me to enjoy. I will spread my seeds of love as my beautiful garden grows and expands. I smile from ear to ear as I envision my home on a foundation of love.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for my mind that creates these beautiful visions of home within me.
  2. I’m grateful to know my safety and stability come from within.
  3. I’m grateful for the joy I feel when I’m secure in my home.
  4. I’m grateful for having a place of peace within me.
  5. I’m grateful to feel love for the people around me, because my home is built on a foundation of love, so love is the first thing I see.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 68 – Building Our Home On A Foundation of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 -Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

-Garth Brooks

I’m not going to lie— This step takes some work! Celebrating what doesn’t work is a testament of our faith. It is us realizing that we don’t know what is best, and that is a VERY hard pill for many of us to swallow. I’ve talked about this multiple times in the series. If we were meant to be anywhere then where we are right at this moment, we would be there. There is something to learn from the moment we are in—

No matter what that moment looks like. As soon as we open ourselves up to learn instead of wishing things were different—We grow! Wishing things were different just keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel. We won’t get anywhere! So, if we are praying for things to change, a more productive prayer would be:

Please show me what I need to learn from the moment I’m in. Help me  move past whatever is blocking me.

There maybe a much better plan for us than we could imagine, but if we don’t learn what is necessary to get us there, we will just stay in the hamster repeating the lesson over and over. We may leave one relationship and move into the next, but the same patterns show up. We may leave one job for the next and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. We think our prayers are being answered for getting us out of one toxic situation only to find ourselves in another one. Where our thoughts and prayers go matter to the energy we are putting out into the Universe. We can’t escape or pretend to be somewhere we are not, energy is energy. It’s not judging us, it just is. So, even in the moments we are not getting what we want, we need to find away to celebrate.

“Remember that sometimes NOT getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

-Dalai Lama

If we have faith in a Creator who is the encapsulation of love, why would we think what we were going through isn’t a necessary step to help us achieve love’s full embrace? Why would we think a Being who represents love is punishing us? The only one punishing us is ourselves and maybe other humans are trying to, but they can’t break our soul. They can’t destroy the love within us, no matter what hate they may throw at us. Our love is ours. Only we can lock it up in the dark and make it our prisoner.

IMG_7400

My perspective of truth is that I’m being led to be able to love to my full capability. Everything I experience is a stepping-stone to build my love for myself, for Source, for loved ones, for strangers, for the environment, for animals, for the planet, and for the Universe. Each lesson I get, I can choose to learn from or repeat. My kids are definitely able to show me the ones I need to repeat. I also get to see where I’ve healed and how I’m breaking generations of unhealthy patterns. Little steps, that’s all there ever is. So I’ve learned to surrender, sometimes with tight fists at first, but eventually, I remember—I’m loved more than I can humanly imagine. Everything is happening exactly the way it needs to for each person to learn what he or she are meant to learn in this life.  We have to become aware, accept, and then we get to take action. That is where we celebrate!!

How do we celebrate what doesn’t work, the big NO, the drama, the chaos, the illness, the pain, and the struggle?

9 Ways to Celebrate What Doesn’t Work

  1. Have a dance party! Make a playlist of music that gets your heart pumping. Know that no matter what the challenge is, it is leading you where you are supposed to be. Honor the love in your heart. If you are grieving, know that you are grieving because of your capability to love. If a partner left you, or you needed to leave them, dance because it wasn’t the right relationship for you to experience your best love story. Celebrate the cancer, illness, or disability because with it you have an amazing tool to teach others love and compassion while learning how to embrace the love within you on your journey through the pain.
  2. Go do something you love. Have that amazing dinner, explore somewhere new, visit with friends, take that walk, ride, or run; drive to the beach, mountains, or desert. We will be covering this more in the days to come.
  3. Get down on your knees and pray. Stand-up, with your hands in the air, and pray. Lie down in your bed and pray. Just pray in gratitude to learn from the lesson in front of you, and be grateful for the love that lies behind it.
  4. Write out a gratitude list for everything that the “not getting” is teaching you. Write about how grateful you are for the mistakes, the lessons, the failures, and the challenges because they are giving you opportunities to learn about perspective. We make the choice how we want to view anything in our lives. We don’t have to be victims of anything that we don’t choose to. Gratitude is a perspective that says, I’m bigger than anything that happens to me. I’m the love inside me and for that I will celebrate and be grateful.
  5. Create a spot in your life for peace. It can be the bathroom, a closet, a room, a bench, a tree, a chair, etc. Wherever it is, make this your spot to go to when you need to feel peace when you thought you knew what was best for your life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. This is the place that reminds you that even your trials are part of the master plan. This is the place where you embrace the love within you to feel at peace with what is happening around you.
  6. Find a plant, tree, flower, and/or animal that makes you feel AWE. Celebrate the simplistic AWE of life, of creation. You are here! You are alive! That is something to celebrate. If you aren’t where you want to be, make sure you are taking a step on your path in the direction you actually want to be going. Celebrate the AWE inside of you.
  7. Create something beautiful! I personally love word collages (click here to see more) and writing, but this can also include things like gardening, painting, drawing, photography, knitting, stenciling, needlepoint, etc. Just be creative and use your energy to create something beautiful. IMG_3371
  8. Hug someone you love. Not just a few second hug. Hug them for a whole minute. Feel the life of someone you love in your arms. Listen to her/his heartbeat and yours.  Take deep breaths and match your breathing with hers/his. We can celebrate what doesn’t work by embracing what does—LOVE!
  9. Play and laugh! Bring out the childlike energy within yourself and find a way to play and be joyful in the moment. If you have an animal play with her/him. My kids and I play the try not to laugh or smile game while watching funny videos on YouTube. Appreciate the moment you are in. Laughing yoga is a fun way to release tension and play. Just play! What doesn’t work matters a lot less when we appreciate what does.

Be real with yourself. If you are feeling like the victim of something that is happening to you, be there with the feelings. Then, look at different ways you can choose to look at the situation. When you are ready to open yourself up to the possibilities of seeing things differently— Celebrate that! Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood or dark feelings, just know that is where you are in the moment and when you are ready to move out of that moment, you have choices. That in itself is a reason to celebrate. I love seeing the world through the eyes of perspective because I’m never trapped. I can ALWAYS choose to see things differently. I can be the person who is grateful for the rain or who dreads it, the choice is mine and it’s yours too.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love to My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 59: Attracting the Energy of Love to My Life

Dear Universe,

I’m in awe of how attracting the energy of love to my life works. It doesn’t matter how many times I see it or in what capacity; the feelings that come over me as I  watch my self-love project out of me, manifest more things to love,  and then watch how people and things are attracted back to me is AMAZING. It is the most empowering experience that I can even begin to imagine. I really do have the power to make my life incredible.

Ever since I started to really understand the concept of only getting more of what we already have inside, I truly feel empowered to manifest and attract more love into my life. For me, this also makes giving my love to others so much more rewarding. I don’t expect anything from the love I give, and I’m not attracted to places where it is unhealthy for me to express my love. Some situations I can send  love in a prayer that someone gets the help they need, or that a person sees how much harm they are doing to themselves by living in their darkness. Whatever the case may be, I’m always exactly where I’m supposed to be and so is my love.

I’ve attracted people in my life now that are capable of loving me back. Before I invested my time and energy into showing myself love, I would attract people who didn’t want to invest time and energy into showing me love. I got back the exact energy I put towards myself. Now, since I’m able to show myself love, I attract people who have no problems showing me love.

This love extends out all around me. I’m able to serve others with a full heart. I’m not trying to seek my worth in what I’m doing for someone else, so it doesn’t take loving energy away from him/her or me. I can just authentically be there serving with a grateful heart.

There are so many incredible blessings that come with seeing the power of how this works. I’m attracting the people who I’m meant to teach and/or be taught by. The lessons inspire me, where I used need a big hit over the head to get a lesson to take hold.

I love how my world has shifted by working on how I perceived myself and my value to this life. The abundance of love that I feel in my heart is overflowing. Life is really an amazing journey, and I’m so blessed for every moment I’m aware enough to be fully engaged in the experience!

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m incredible grateful for the ability attract the energy of love to my life
  2. I’m grateful for the love I feel in nature
  3. I’m grateful for the love I feel from my family
  4. I’m grateful for the love I feel interacting with animals
  5. I’m grateful for the love I feel when I’m looking in the mirror

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 59: Attracting the Energy of Love

“The state of our inner being directly influences our behavior, which in turn influences how people respond to us.”

-Cheryl Pallant

On Day 58, I wrote about manifesting love, now we will dive into the idea a little further by moving into attracting the energy of love. Once we have our self-love in place, we project that loving energy out to the Universe. We begin manifesting the magic that self-love has to offer us out in the world. Finally, what we project out and manifest is what we attract back to us. This is the Law of Attraction along with a religious/spiritual concept many of us know, we reap what we sow.

Yesterday (Day 58), I told the story about the list I wrote to attempt to attract my ideal romantic partner, and how through my journey I stopped even looking for this partner because I felt complete and full of joy with the life I had created from my self-love. When my pendulum calmed down to the relaxed position where I was at peace. I became ready to see the door to allow space for a healthy relationship to enter my life. I prayed:

“God, if you have a person you feel would be a good fit in this life I love, please make the space for him to come in.”

I had to open the door in order to allow the manifestation of this energy to come back to me in the way I had originally asked for—I was ready when he arrived at my door.

About three years after the relationship began, I found all my lists and letters to the Universe. I couldn’t believe how many check boxes he filled on this very long list. This didn’t mean the relationship has been perfect. I had to learn with my request for my partner’s actions to tell me he loved me, meant I didn’t hear “I love you” for a year into the relationship. His actions told me…I got EXACTLY what I asked for. The Universe can be quite literal.  I also have gotten plenty of lessons on the things I still need to work on. I can tell when I get triggered; I have some self-examination to get into. I’m attracting back what I put out. If I’m faced with fear, I have to look at where the fear is coming from inside of me.

I have learned how to attract an abundance of love to my life, not just in my romantic relationship, but also through my relationships with family, friends, nature, community, and thanks to this blog and the From A Loving Place Facebook page, globally. I love, honor, and appreciate all the love I’m able to give out, and what I’m able to attract back to me. I visualize the infinity symbol when I think about how the energy of love works. This energy is available to ANYONE who wants to jump into this stream of loving energy.

If you haven’t been reading the series or if you need a reminder, this doesn’t mean challenges aren’t going to come your way. This doesn’t mean that you won’t get knocked off your feet from time to time with a life lesson. This doesn’t mean that good people, animals, and other life forms won’t die and cause you tremendous grief. My perspective of truth tells me there is a reason for all the pain, hardships, loss, and devastation. I believe in Divine purpose. I believe every life serves a greater purpose, sometimes that means the life won’t be with us long. Other times the life may last over 100 years.

If I attract a life to mine that only is in my life or on this planet for a short time, I need to look at what that life brought to my life (remember we are looking at this from a perspective of love, not fear). This could be a human, animal, or any other living organism that we’ve chosen to love and be loved by. Any life that was touched by the life that was lost got to experience the magic, compassion, blessings, joy, love, laughter, empathy, tenderness, and peace that love brings to our lives.

The more self-love we have, the more we can feel the love that is coming back to us for whatever time we have been blessed with. We also stop confusing love and fear and the feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that come from each of them. When we stay aware, there is always more love available to us if that is what we are attracting from our own inner well of self-love.

We have to become a self-filling well of love so that we can create that beautiful garden in our minds. Our self-love nourishes our gardens and makes the space grow and expand to attract more beautiful species into it. These are the seeds we get from the love that we’ve attracted to our lives. Each life that touches ours comes with blessings. Even if it takes a lot of pain and time to find the blessings—They are there waiting to be discovered.

How much love do you want to attract to your life? Whatever the answer is, that is how much love you have to give yourself. Don’t be afraid of your own capacity to love. Once you sort through the layers of blocks that keep you from attracting love outside of you and the perspectives of truth that keep you from giving yourself the love, attention, and affection you deserve, you will be set free to project, manifest, and attract love all over the place. The awe of a bird soaring in the sky might bring you to tears. Seeing a waterfall can make your heart sing. Watching the clouds roll through could inspire joy within you. You may start crying at any sentimental moment you watch on TV or video, but it’s not longing it’s feeling the love within you swell up. The world begins changing before your very eyes. The people who come into your life whether it be in person or across the world are tremendous gifts of the love you are putting out there. Stay in gratitude! You will attract so many blessings to your life.

This energy can’t be faked. You can’t pretend to love yourself and expect to have the good flowing into your life. You have to fully feel the love inside of you first to attract the love you actually want. If you don’t, you may attract a person who says the words, but the actions don’t match up. We attract whatever energy we project out into the Universe. Believe me, I know. I attracted a narcissist to my life trying the fake it until you make it method of self-love. I got a very long lesson on how important it was for me to love myself and create healthy boundaries.

Just for Today

Investigate these thoughts:

  • Are your doors open to attract the love you want into your life?
  • Are you treating yourself the way you need to in order to attract the love you want to you?
  • How do you need to invest the time in you to attract more love in your life?

When you notice how magical this process is, you will never be the same.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 59 – Attracting the Energy of Love to My Life

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love in My Life

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 58: Manifesting Love in My Life

Dear Self,

We are in this together. In order for me to manifest love in my life, I have to project the love out of me. The more love I project, the more I will manifest. If there was ever a reason to commit to loving and respecting myself—THIS IS IT!

I want to manifest not just more love in my life, but more love in the world. I want my energy to be part of the great force that helps shifts the energy of this planet back to a more loving one. I want the love to project out me to the point where I can feel the love in the air. I know that the only way to do this is to show myself the love that I want to feel in the world.

I’m committed to having a love affair with you! So lets start courting. Today, lets go enjoy a walk for sunset. We will pay attention to the reflections in the water, the birds flying, and the sounds nature has to offer us. I love that kind of stuff. Tomorrow, I will treat you to an amazing lunch with your favorite foods. I also want to make time to meditate, so that we can connect. Each day, I plan to invest the time in you that I would in someone else I was falling in love with. This includes writing you notes as a way to show you how much I love and appreciate the time we have together.

I’m already feeling my energy shift just by the simple thoughts of focusing on the things that I like to do and can do without someone outside of myself. This is going to be a beautiful journey.  I love knowing that I’m FULLY responsible for the success or failure of this relationship and only I can fix it.

Today I’m grateful

  1. I’m so incredibly grateful for being able to manifest love.
  2. I’m grateful for knowing that I’m in control of showing myself the love and respect that I deserve.
  3. I’m grateful ability to project out the love that’s in my heart.
  4. I’m grateful for manifesting incredible shifts in my life.
  5. I’m grateful for the passion to have a love affair with myself.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

If you are trying to understand why this letter is written like it is, please read today’s installment of the 90-Day A Better Me Series90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 58 – Manifesting Love through Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: Being Clear on What We Stand For

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

When we come from a place of love for ourselves, we can clearly see what we stand for. We don’t try to conform to fit into other people’s journeys. We honor ours. “Normal” is a container that we don’t belong in. We are open to serve our purpose with clarity, love, and compassion. We each have our own unique ways of giving back, paying it forward, and standing up to represent the changes we want to see in the world. None of us are going to do this the exact same way. What is important is that we are being clear on what we stand for and that we are engaging the light (love) within us, not the dark (fear) within us.

In Part I of this series I talked about the energy of against (Day 23). This is an energy that can easily blind us. This is where our fears, rage, anger, entitlement, and/or hatred can take over and take the energy away from what we are really standing for. Fear represents the dark spots within us. These are the spots that need light in order not to create toxic blocks. It’s not about the word against, but the energy that is put into the word. If we are so angry that we are using that as fuel to guide us, we are breathing darkness into the situation. We are dimming our light.

If we can step back and remember the wise words of Mother Teresa,

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We can step back, gain some perspective and thoroughly look at those feelings of against and figure out how to transform them into what we actually stand for.

Here are just a few examples:

  • I’m against racism/ I’m for treating each other as equals
  • I’m against sexual harassment/ I’m for individuals getting treated with respect
  • I’m against drugs/ I’m for individuals finding healthy ways to experience life
  • I’m against war/ I’m for finding ways to communicate through our different perspectives

Be clear on what makes you want to stand up for. Be clear by being responsible for the energy you are putting into your actions. I’m brought to tears of love and compassion when I see men and women speaking about what they stand for, but if all I can hear from the message is what their against, I stop listening and I’m done. This is one of the things that make politics difficult for me to watch. I find it harder and harder to figure out what people are standing for. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson (quoted multiple times in this series) has been activist and working her way into the political scene. She first ran in California. I wondered how she was going to be able to use her powerful voice in politics. Now, she has announced that she is running for President in 2020. I listened to her speeches and I was brought to tears. I watched her interviews with very skeptical reporters, and I was brought to tears. I knew exactly what her messages represented and what she stood for.

There have been politicians on both the Republican and Democratic side who I heard the messages of what they stood for, it doesn’t matter if I believe in the same things they do, I just want to hear people’s passion for their causes without attacking others for not believing the same things or having different ideas. Every society is built from many different perspectives of truth. If we are just focusing on whether a person is from one political party or another, we can miss seeing the human standing up in front of us. This human is responsible for being the voice for many different perspectives of truth.

Think of a family, churches, religions, charities, etc. Even within a part of what a collective society of individuals who have a similar love for what is being represented aren’t going to agree with each other all the time. If we speak to each other in ways where we can clearly see where each other are coming from, we know that the person listening cares about our voice even if we don’t agree with their perspective of truth, it opens possibilities for innovative solutions. It helps leaders communicate clearly why they are choosing to do what they do.

Will everyone listen? Of course not, some people are so lost in their personal perspectives of truth they can’t hear anything outside of it. That is fear talking. We miss seeing love in action if we only are willing to see perspectives of truth that keep us contained. If a belief causes stress or for you to hate (engaging your darkness), it is a belief to think about shifting. Hate is an energy that you put out into the world and it creates more of it. You aren’t representing what you stand for by putting out that kind of energy. You are representing what you are against.

What if, instead of taking the war on drugs, we put that energy into finding solutions to how to relieve people’s pain without needing harmful medications? What if we found solutions in the schools that helped children get the tools to learn how to feel and cope with stress in a natural way? What if we taught people to feel through their emotional pain instead of suppressing it? What if we had conversations about being proactive about mental health instead of treating the problem after the addiction has already set-in? What if we brought mindfulness into all the schools? What if we taught children about how to experience natural highs? What if we taught children the importance of being the friend who watches out for the people they care about?

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When we take responsibility for our own energy that we are putting into our families, our romantic relationships, our causes, our passions, our politics, our spiritual and/or religious practices, and ourselves, we become consciously aware of if we are contributing to the light (what we stand for that represents loving action) or our darkness (the fear of what we are against). When we become responsible for the energy we put out there, we can question ourselves when we see that we are feeding our own dark energies, because whatever we put out there will come back to us. I know I’ve brought up Karma, the Law of Attraction, and religious principles that all agree. This is not about judgment—this is about energy! Energy is the boomerang that will keep coming back.

Just for Today

Write down a list of things you stand for. Check-in with yourself to see if you are representing  love or fear. Then write of list coming from a loving place of ways you can represent what you stand for by shining your light. Any time a fearful thought comes up, write it down and work through it until it can transcend into a loving action. After doing this exercise really pay attention to your energy and how you feel.

When I spend the time on this exercise, I feel better. I feel lighter, and I notice the beauty of the things around me more. It’s a pretty amazing process. I don’t question why Jesus chose to act in complete loving action no matter what others believed, because it really does create an AMAZING energy that shines an incredible light on the lives that are touched by the light inside of us. You don’t have to believe in any particular organized religion, political party, and/or lifestyle to be touched by how individuals represent loving action. We show who we are by being able to move past all the our differences and see the love within and behind the people who are following their own inner light. It really is a beautiful journey and one that has the opportunity to connect us on a deeper level.

Thank you for reading! I can only hope you hear my love through the pages I write, whether you have the same beliefs or different ones, I’m so grateful for your time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 56 – The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 56: The Safe Foundation of Self-Love

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last week we have been diving into the importance of self-worth. When I was planning out the layout of Part II, I went back and forth whether to put the self-love or self-worth section first. They go hand in hand, but as I thought about it and the process I went through, I realized that I had to gain self-worth to start liking myself. Once I started liking myself, the path to loving myself was smooth. I wasn’t trying to force it. I remember the first time I looked into the mirror and said, “I love you” as an exercise, that’s when I found out how much I didn’t like myself. I saw how brutal I was to the person looking back at me. I worked on healing that before I could look back in the mirror and say, “I love you” and truly mean it.

Self-love is the safest foundation we can build our lives on. Self-love is the glue. We need self-love for all the other elements of love (Days 32-35), acceptance (Days 36-41), perspective (Days 42-46), gratitude (Days 47-50), and self-worth (Days 51-55) to grow and expand. Without self-love we fall off the wagon and struggle to get back on. We struggle to find our way through the dark tunnels and small confined boxes. Self-love is the essence of what living in the light is about. When we love ourselves fully, deeply, and without question, we are able to shine our lights at full capacity.

“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity.”

-Katrina Mayer

Many of us have been raised in ways that were led by fear. That makes the understanding of what love is very confusing. That makes self-love even more confusing. This is where confusion can set in about someone who loves themselves too much (which is not possible) and someone who is ego driven. Ego comes from our fears, not love. It doesn’t mean anyone who lives in their ego driven world is a bad person, they are just caught up in their own dark energy that seeks outside approval from the world. Often it comes from deep levels of self-loathing. They are trying to prove something to the world and seeking love from the outside world because they can’t find it inside themselves. Have you ever been caught up in this downward spiral? I know I have. When we are there, we start taking our lack of love for ourselves out on the world. We want someone else to make us feel safe, because we can’t find that safety within our own feelings about ourselves. Self-love is where our safety lies. We just need to move past all the fears that have been blocking us from seeing the full capacity of our own lights.

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If you read the Day 55 post from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, “How I Honor the Person I Am” I talk a little bit about how I’m connected to my spirituality through my self-love. I’ve studied many different religious paths on an academic level. I’ve looked for similarities and differences. I’ve looked for the love and fear within the readings. I’ve looked how human words whether in text or in services have brought perspectives of fear or love into their interpretations. I’m a spiritual person, so my connection to Spirit is very important to my journey, but my connection does not come from a human level, so no words spoken or written can contain my connection. No titles can hold me to the point where I can’t spot the love within another human.

If I have a weak moment where my own darkness is dimming my light, I know I have to go back to the truest form of love, the love within myself to reconnect beyond what the outside world tells me. Many people try to connect to spirit through words, but words and interpretation of words are apart of our human journey. Spirit is an energy beyond what we as humans can ever contain. In my perspective of truth, the closest I will ever get to feeling and honoring a true connection to Spirit is through the energy of love. I know that my capacity to love and be loved is at it’s highest when I love myself. I have to have it within me to fully feel the effects of it outside of me.  I CHOOSE LOVE. I choose love to connect me to myself, to the Divine Creator, to humanity, and to the planet. That is all created through my safe foundation of self-love.

When I’m honoring the love within me—I’m safe. It doesn’t matter what people don’t love me back. That is their business. That is their journey. The people who are meant to be on my journey will be there for as long as they are meant to be. When they leave or I shut the door, I’m still safe within the love I feel for myself. I can grieve them knowing they played an important role on my journey. I can feel the loss of their energy in my life. I can have moments of fear where I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone again. That is apart of honoring their part in my journey, but in the end, I will still be there for me. I will be grateful that I was able to love someone so much. This can of course extend to animals, the Earth, our environment, etc.

The more we love ourselves and understand our mistakes, failures, triumphs, darkness, and light, the more we can see that it’s not our place to judge someone else’s life journey. It’s more important to keep our  own gardens the way we want them.

“I see our choices of perspectives of truth as the garden we create in our minds. I choose what seeds I’m going to plant. I decide how to treat the soil. I figure out the way I want to water my garden. I choose which weeds I want to pull. I determine how much light each flower, plant, vine, bush, or tree needs. I choose the space between each life form to support their growth. Other people can give me seeds to flowers, plants, trees, weeds, smuggling vines, invasive species, fertilizers, etc. I get to choose whether to plant or use them. If it doesn’t fit into the garden I’m creating, I can put it in my pocket to possibly plant later, or get rid of it completely. The choice is MINE and MINE ALONE!”

–Rachael Wolff, Day 46

We keep our gardens by being aware of our light and darkness and accepting ourselves for the person we are and the one we choose to be through our choices. When we choose to love ourselves, we have the ability to create gardens of AWE and AMAZEMENT. Our love guides us how to care for the gardens in our minds. Our love for ourselves gives us the beautiful seeds to pass onto others. Self-love gives us so much room to grow and expand without being contained by fear-driven ideas and demands. We are safe because the love we have for ourselves cannot be taken away by anything outside of us. Our gardens are in our minds, but when we create them from self-love, that creation is coming from the energy of our light within us, our soul.

Just for Today

Could you name three things you love about yourself everyday for 90 days? If you don’t think you can, start today. If you think you can, start today. If you want to see the biggest transformation that you will EVER see, start today. A hint into finding things you love about yourself is to look at what you love about others. If you spot it in someone else— It’s in you too! Enjoy the journey!

Thank you for reading and growing with me. I hope this journey helps you to create and expand the gardens of your dreams! Don’t limit your garden’s beauty. SHINE BRIGHT!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 56 – The Safety of My Self-Love