I’m grateful I have self-worth. When we don’t have self-worth, we become doormats, victims, prey, and attackers. Lack of self-worth attracts people and situations that align us with fear, lack, and separation. However we treat ourselves, is what we will make acceptable for the way we treat others and the way they treat ourselves. READ THAT AGAIN. The way we hurt others will look different, maybe we will gossip, abuse, personally attack, manipulate, demean, or judge them unfairly by not seeing their humanity. When we are acting in our healthiest minds, we don’t call names, we don’t ignite violence, we don’t blame everyone else without being accountable and responsible for our own actions. We do those things when we feel threatened or judged as less than, not enough, and wronged. Sometimes we are victim of other people’s poor choices, but if we have a strong sense of worth, we see them for who they are and we take responsibility for our energy that we are contributing—And show them the example of a person that doesn’t try to rise by taking others down.

Revenge mentality comes from aligning with fear, lack, and separation. Forgiveness mentality comes from aligning with love, abundance, and peace. It takes a great deal of self-worth to not seek revenge. If we find ourselves saying, “Well they did (blank), so they deserve (blank).” We all know that two wrongs don’t make a right. Healthy thinking can see that we can be a victim of something without taking on a victim mentality, which once again comes from fear, lack, and separation.

Now, after we ARE victimized, most of us won’t jump into a healthy self-worth mindset. I know it took me YEARS to tell my brain new stories. I know some don’t take that long, but I had to get to a very dark place in order to realize that my hate for others, no matter how justified it feels, is poison running through MY veins. I had to have the self-worth to be responsible and accountable for what I was allowing to fester inside of me.

I learned that I have NO control of what other people do, but I definitely know what I want to contribute to the world and what I want my legacy to be. Some days are better than others. Some days it takes me a little longer to realize how I’m treating myself by the energy I’m putting out there, but I simply do my best. I keep learning and growing. When my self-worth was non-existent, I couldn’t stand making mistakes. I attacked myself in the worst ways. Unfortunately others also get hurt in our wakes when our self-worth isn’t there, because we can’t see how dark we are being—It’s normal to us.

When I found my own worth, it helped me spot when other people were lacking it. If someone is attacking someone else’s value as a human being, I promise you that person doesn’t have self-worth. They may try to make people think they do by telling others how great they are, but someone who feels great about themselves, doesn’t think of themselves as better or less than any other human. If someone wants you to put them on a pedestal, that’s not someone with a healthy sense of worth. They don’t have to tell us how great they are by putting others down. When someone is secure in themselves, it’s obvious. They are aligned with love, abundance, and peace. That’s the gift of a healthy self-worth.

Most of us will not be able to stay aligned with love, abundance, and peace 100% of the time. There is a lot to learn from the times we slide into fear, lack, and separation. With a strong sense of self-worth, we don’t beat ourselves up for the slide. We recognize, apologize (to ourselves and/or others), and change our behaviors. When I started treating myself the way I deserved, other people treated me that way too.

Today, I commit to appreciating the person I am, just the way I am! I might have said this before, but it’s one worth repeating if I did. When I accept and love myself, I allow myself to be aligned with love, abundance, and peace. This makes my day go so much smoother. The reason is because I’m not spending time in the energy of fear of acceptance. I’m not spending my day in lack of what I’m not, what I can’t have, and what I think I deserve but I’m not getting. I don’t spend my day envying someone else’s life, comparing or resenting, which separates me from another human.

I know whichever energy I feed: Love or fear; abundance or lack; peace or separation—I MAKE THE CHOICE! It’s way too easy to fall into the abyss of chaos if my self-worth can be moved by someone outside of me. I love feeling empowered to make conscious choices to align my energy. I can only do that with a clear head. I love when I fill myself with the stories of how much I’ve grown, my strengths, my openness to learn, and the qualities that make me—ME. I’ve learned to appreciate the unique person I am. Today, I will spend time enjoying the person I love being and the only person I can be.

I give from a loving place when I’m not trying to gain worth in my doing for others. When my worth is already there, everything I do for others adds to my abundance of love, service, and hope. If what I say resonates with you, make sure to scroll down and follow me here on From a Loving Place.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Today’s post is dedicated to my beautiful friend D.C. Stanfa. D.C, was one of the first people to write an endorsement for my book. She has walked with me on my path of getting my book published, getting back into public speaking, and sharing stories while her book was being shopped. Yesterday morning she passed away. She was a force of nature with one of the biggest hearts. She made me laugh regularly. She will be missed. Please send prayers to all the people grieving her loss, thank you. Rest in Peace, D.C. I know your spirit was too big for humanly form. Now you are free to SOAR!