I’m grateful for my choice to take the side of love, abundance, and peace. Notice, I do not say a side in politics, in religion, in economic status, in lifestyle, in my gender, etc. The reason why I make the VERY clear distinction is, because at the root of EVERY belief I hold, if love, abundance, and peace isn’t feeding life into my beliefs, I have some weeding to do. I’m accountable and responsible for the energy that feeds, nourishes, and allow things to grow in my garden. If I have weeds of fear, lack, separation, hate, envy, rage, justification, retaliation, and/or revenge (which all come from the energy fear, lack, and separation), I have to see the weeds in order to remove them. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THAT EXCEPT FOR ME. I have to CHOOSE to see and pull out the weed.

If I let the weed spread and affect the garden, the weeds will be all that I see. My critical thinking to find solutions gets so buried in the problems, and who I think is to blame, that I don’t pull the weeds from my own garden in order to see what lies underneath. I don’t pay attention to what I’ve planted to see why the weeds are spreading so rapidly.

Here’s a real life example of what happened to me when I refused to look inside and see what energy I was feeding: At the time this event happened, I was binge watching shows about murder on Court TV; I was unknowingly being psychologically abused (which means I was living on constant eggshells); and I was feeding the cycle of blaming and shaming by focusing my attention on gossip magazines and conspiracy theories. I also was self-abusing and my health was paying a price for it (inner shame cycles are brutal on our physical and mental health). I was sitting upstairs in my father’s townhouse when I saw a man wearing black gloves (in Florida), sunglasses, and a dark coat throw away a paper bag into the dumpster then speed off in his black car with tinted windows. I started wondering and becoming anxious thinking that I just witnessed someone throwing out a murder weapon. I truly believed that was the truth. I was so scared that my dad went down and searched the dumpster. What he found was a bag of dog poop.

Are you laughing? I did, but I also had a MAJOR AWAKENING that day. I saw the power of what happens when I aligned my energy with fear, lack, and separation. I saw the dangers and my blindness from what a responsible adult was doing and turned him into a murderer in my mind. I hope you are sensing the seriousness of this perspective, because I’m seeing it replay over and over in the world today. Please understand, just like I did, many people believe whole-heartedly that what they are seeing is real, but when the facts all play out not to be so, not all people are having the awakening that I did. I had to be willing to look at where I was focusing my energy.

Some people are SO INVESTED and lost in the weeds of their own gardens that NO facts about the situation will convince them that what they saw was any different then the way they interpreted it. They are choosing the side of fear, lack, and separation and it is feeding into how they interpret everything they are seeing in the world around them and within themselves. I’ve been there, it is a very painful and scary place to live. I chose not to live there anymore. When I made that conscious choice, I noticed my ability to think critically of what I was seeing began to open me up to see SO much more. The longer my energy aligns with love, abundance, and peace more than it does fear, lack, and separation, the more willing I am to look at things from all different angles and actually look for facts, not perspectives of truth. I think of all the people I would have to not trust in order to come to the conclusion that aligns me with the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I can only do this because I took the time to understand human behavior.

What I didn’t understand at the time of the event is that there are some people in the world that will exploit us for feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation and use it to their advantage to control us. These PEOPLE can be in our families, communities, social circles, leadership, political parties, religious circles, self-help groups, work environments, etc. My point is no group is above having someone in it that will TRY to exploit us in our weaknesses. What I’ve discovered is that my protection from these individuals is aligning with love, abundance, and peace. This is WHY that is the energy I do my best to feed and align myself DAILY!! This is also why I have compassion and empathy for those who don’t understand how their energy of fear, lack, and separation has caused them to go down the path that they are on. All I can do is stay in my energy the best I can and share the experiences and understanding with the people who are open to listen.

I know for me, I didn’t know better until I was in the darkness of my own abyss. I was so lost in my own weeds that I couldn’t find my own tools to clean up my own garden. I don’t align with love, abundance, and peace 24-hours a day, 7 days a week. There are times when I’m aligned with fear, lack, and separation, because it is a part of all of us. I just figured out that living in that energy for too long is dangerous, painful, scary, and emotionally draining for as long as I remain in it. I discovered that when I’m in that energy the people around me feel it, and it contributes to an unhealthy environment. I CHOOSE to be in that space as little as possible. I honor my feelings in that space and what they are there to teach me. I research to find facts, not perspectives. I make sure I’m not investing my energy into people, places, and things that are trying to get me to feed my energy of fear, lack, and separation. I know if I feed that fear, I don’t see the human. I don’t see a person clear enough to know if they are exploiting my energy of fear, lack, and separation, or if how I’m seeing them is because that is where MY energy is. I made a man throwing away a bag of poop, a murderer. I never want to do that again. For that reason, I’m SO grateful for my choice to take the side of love, abundance, and peace.

Today, I commit to feeding the energy of love, abundance, and peace within me. When we can clear our own energy, then open it up to look at where other humans around us are, we see clearer. If we can put our energy into being on the side of love, abundance, and peace, instead of on specific groups, organizations, communities, genders, nationalities, etc. We open ourselves up to see beyond the energy of fear and lack that separates us from our fellow humans. Remember, we each can get stuck in feeding the cycle of fear, lack, and separation. Have compassion for the person who is stuck there. Understand, that until they make the choice to see where they are aligning their own energy, they won’t be able to move away from it. I know the best thing I can do is keep feeding the energy of love, abundance, and peace and hope that someone will get to the same point I did and be ready to see and feel better. I can’t make them get there. I can be the example of what it looks like to encompass the energy of love, abundance, and peace, but only if I’m there myself. If I get defensive with them, I’m in the energy of fear, lack, and separation too. We will continue to feed the vicious cycle.

When we start consciously seeing where we are in our energy and where others are in theirs, we are more accepting of others when they do wake-up. We see how we get lost in that energy too sometimes. We see that by being compassionate and forgiving towards others, we are feeding our energy of love, abundance, and peace within us. I’m seeing people wake-up and get knocked down for their honesty of being lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I won’t do that, because if I take the vengeance and retaliation approach, I’m feeding the vicious cycle of fear, lack, and separation and making it stronger. Do I want people to wake-up? Do I want to stay awake? YES! I have to keep bringing it back to me and be honest with myself about what energy I’m choosing to feed. Today, I commit to feeding the energy of love, abundance, and peace within me. In that space, I know I’m doing the best I can for myself and all the people around me.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World