I’m grateful I KNOW the importance of FEELING ALL my feelings. If people are scared of feelings, I may be called too sensitive, too caring, too emotional, etc. The truth is, I’m not too anything. I feel my feelings and then I let them pass through me just like they are meant to. I do my best not to let my feelings turn into uncontrollable stories that align my energy with fear, lack, and separation, but sometimes I can spin some pretty painful stories. That will leave me fuming. I accept responsibility for my story and move on. I’m grateful that I don’t spin as much as it used to. Now, I’m usually able to catch myself and tell myself more productive messages to help my feelings take their natural course.
It’s not healthy to suppress, avoid, numb, and/or run from feelings. That is what is unhealthy. Not getting the tools to feel feelings in a healthy manner can lead to violence, self harm, addiction, and abuse. Feelings get confused with stories. Feelings are transient. They change, move, and shift continuously. If I want to hold onto feelings for extended periods of time, I create stories and give them power by thinking them, speaking them, writing them, and/or sharing them with as many people who will listen. I’m the one who keeps myself stuck in feelings of confusion, rejection, helplessness, anxiousness, embarrassment, anger, rage, etc. I can calm the fire or I can make it bigger. The choice is mine. On the other hand, I can do the same with feelings that align me with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. I can choose to simply be in the feeling until it passes or enjoy the stories around the feelings. We do this all the time unconsciously, but KNOWING is doing it all consciously. There are so many gifts that come from feeling ALL my feelings consciously. The greatest is that I don’t take my stuff out on other people and hurt them unconsciously.
It’s not always easy to sit with the feelings that make me feel uncomfortable, but those feelings usually contain so much wisdom if I just allow myself to feel my way through them. Avoiding and numbing them got me into lots of trouble in the past. Doing that also caused many physical ailments. I learned that when I play nice with my mind, my body rewards me. I don’t force myself to be positive when I KNOW I need to feel through something painful. I allow myself to be there. I trust that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be until I’m not there anymore. This can make people uncomfortable sometimes, but that’s okay.
I used to hate telling people that I’m a cryer. Now, I’m proud of my tears. I’m grateful to be able to name my feelings and take away their power by bringing attention to them. I’m grateful to be able to cry, because after a good cry, I feel a giant release. I also love when I’m in a heightened state of joy that I can fully embrace that too. I used to sabotage my joy, because I didn’t think I deserved it. Now, I love when tears of joy flow down my face. I cherish every moment.
Today, I commit to BEING with my feelings and naming them. I use the word trigger a lot, but when I’m really processing my feelings, using the word triggered doesn’t help me release them. One of the greatest tools I ever got from going to therapy was learning about the feeling wheel. There are tons of them available online. I’ve printed out multiple versions. Feeling wheels name many of the feelings which fall into major categories. Simply acknowledging my feelings when I’m having them takes their power away. When I can feel my feelings without losing myself in a story, I feel free. I can thank the feelings for coming in and showing me what I needed to see and then allow them to move out. This is a simple exercise that does wonders.
- Be with my feelings
- Name them
- Thank them for being there
- Let them move through me
Realizing I don’t have to MAKE it more complicated was a GIANT piece of my healing process. I started facing old feelings that were so deeply buried under the stories that spun out of control. I feel like I took years of self-inflicted pain away when I stopped running and started feeling. Today, I enjoy looking at my feelings in detail.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me