An Apology for What I Missed

Dear Now,

I never knew how against you I really was. I thought I was more attuned than I actually am. A passage in A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle just opened my eyes. He explains, “There are three ways in which the ego will treat the present moment: as a means to an end, as an obstacle, or as enemy” (p.202). As I read on it became clearer as to how I really have been treating you. 

As grateful as I am for all my many blessing, I’m finally seeing how I created some serious obstacles to abundance and growth. I’ve been missing so many moments of presence by just getting through a period of time.  If I just get through this time, then I can do… fill in the blank. I’ve used my present moment as an obstacle, hence an excuse not to embrace the moment. It’s because I’m here that I can’t do… fill in the blank. Finally, time has definitely been my enemy as I put my walls up and go into survival mode. When I’m in a situation where I feel attacked and unappreciated, I can slip right past you and not see what is really going on. I’m so far beyond the present moment. I can honestly say, I don’t even know what is happening when I get like this. 

I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being so unaware of how my actions are making me miss some very important moments and opportunities. I’m working on being present and not taking you for granted. I know in every moment that I have air moving through my lungs, I have an opportunity to be grateful. When I am with you and can stay with you, the pain in a moment can be transformed. I can see more than meets the eye when I honor you. 

Right NOW, I commit to having a better relationship with you. I will do as Tolle suggests:

“What is my relationship with the present moment? Then become alert to find out the answer. Am I treating the Now as no more than a means to an end? Do I see it as an obstacle? Am I making it into an enemy?(p. 203)

I know that by doing this, I will find the oneness with life that I’ve been in search of. I know the obstacles will fall away and I will get to experience the one thing I’ve been missing in my everyday life, you. 

I will no longer have to go somewhere else to appreciate a moment of awe, I can do it right here and Now, with you. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

19 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!!!

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