Letters from A Better Me and YouTube: Answering the Calls

A Call to Move

I’m a person who trusts my intuitions, instincts, and signs. I’ve felt calls to do things for as far back as I can remember. Each time I feel clear about the call, I feel safe in where they bring me. I’ve called people in the exact right timing. I show up at a place where I meet someone I either learn from or have something to teach. I miss a major accident. I’ve learned to trust the calls I get about when and when not to show up, along with what and what not to do. Sometimes, I have lessons to learn, so I don’t expect that just because I answer the call it’s going to be sweet and rosy. No matter where I’m led, there are blessings. Sometimes I have to dig a little deeper to find them, other times I can see the beauty in the instant I start taking action.

As the coronavirus moved into the United States is exactly when my book tour for Letters from A Better ME was getting started. I was able to do one event before the rest of the tour was shut down. The one event was in Atlanta, Georgia at a new-age store called, Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore. This setting was perfect. I felt like I was surrounded by people (and cats) who were conscious of each other’s spaces. The room I was in had plenty of space for people to spread out safely, and the numbers were very small. I knew that the people who were there were the ones who were meant to be there. I felt called to go there and I’m so happy I followed the call. Being there was just what I needed to go into the next call I received, which was to completely stay at home.

A Call to Stay Home

I knew that after the event, I had no further need for being out and about. I spent the rest of my time in Marietta, GA listening to the birds and trying to spot deer. When I got home, I felt content in my space. I’ve left the house to be in nature, walk, and get necessities. I read something on Facebook, which sat with me.

Do not change your behavior to avoid being infected. Assume you are infected and change your behavior to avoid transmitting.

-Anonymous

Being a very healthy individual, I’ve been driven more by the possibility of me carrying coronavirus and not knowing it. I’ve also considered all the people who HAVE to be working with the public right now and trying to make life easier for them. The best I can do to reduce my potential of being a carrier is to stay centered and grounded at home, so that is what I’m doing for my family, community, and myself. The more conscious and calm I am, the healthier I stay. This enables me to hear the Universe’s call to serve when it’s my turn.

A Call to Remain Conscious and Calm

If there is any call in my head that is stronger than anything else right now, it’s the call I feel to be conscious and calm. I’ve had to use many of the tools I’ve learned through the years to keep bringing me back to this place, because I do slip. I keep reminding myself to do the best that I can. I’m not going to navigate this perfectly. I do feel like it’s my job to remember that wherever I go in my head is my choice. Chapter 8 of Letters from A Better Me is focused on practices to keep us grounded and centered in the present moment. Beyond the tools in the book and the ones available in the 90-Day A Better Me Series (Free), I go back to these statements that I’ve shared before from my Becoming the Butterfly Workshop:

A Call to Serve

If you follow my work, you know I offer A LOT of tools to navigate the dark places in our lives and in our heads. With the cancelled book tour, I’ve been remaining open to figure out ways I can serve. One of the signs that became very apparent after multiple nudges from the Universe was to make videos of some of the reading I did at Phoenix & Dragon and to share different tools and practices that can really help people who are not used to slowing down like we’ve been asked to do.

The funny thing is that I’ve been putting off creating a YouTube channel for years, which is when the nudges began. I just didn’t FEEL called to make anything. The timing just never felt right, because it wasn’t. With a cancelled book tour and time on my hands—Now is the time. I watched a YouTube video on how to use my iMovie app and got to work. I’m serving double-duty of getting my book out there and offering readings and tools from the book that I know could help people during this challenging time. I will keep posting what I feel called to share. It’s important to me to honor the calls.

A Call to Use YouTube as a Tool

During this time, I’ve noticed I’ve been using YouTube more than I ever have before. I find it’s giving me bite-sized pieces of what I need in the moment. I’ve found my facts, inspiration, comic relief, meditations, and how-to projects all with taps of my fingers. I’m choosing what I watch wisely! When I’m not conscious of what information I’m filling myself with, I start feeling stressed and my sleep patterns pay. I have to reel myself back in. When I do that, I sleep better. We can get the information we NEED without being inundated and getting drug down into the darkness. It’s more important than ever to BE WHERE OUR FEET ARE! Practice mindfulness and staying present wherever you can.

Making Myself Available

I’ve been doing my best to make myself available to anyone who needs some extra support right now through all my social media channels. I hope you will find the support and encouragement you need on my pages. If you need more, please feel free to contact me (here). I will do what I can, because I know if you are called to reach out, there is some form of emotional support that I can offer.

I hope if you read this, my words bring you comfort.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

If you are interested in buying the paperback edition of my book right now, I urge you to support the local bookstores who are struggling right now. This link is helping to raise money to keep local bookstores going. Whether you are purchasing Letters from A Better Me or something else. If you can’t support your own local bookstore, please consider ordering from here: https://bookshop.org/books/letters-from-a-better-me-how-becoming-an-empowered-woman-transforms-the-world/9781642501407

Who Is My Reader?

When I was asked in the marketing meeting about who I wanted to read my book, I thought every woman could get something out of it, since it covers romantic relationships, family, parenting, career, spirituality, addiction, unhealthy belief systems, and all things self. I also thought men could gain a lot of understanding and get a lot from it too, because it would not only give them tools, but help to better communication and empower themselves to make positive change in their lives.

For those who struggle in any unhealthy belief patterns, it gives tools to get out. For those who are healthy, it may help them see how their belief systems help them and give them a better understanding of those who struggle.

The book celebrates authentic empowerment. “Empower Yourself, Change the World!” When we see our own value, we lift others up and don’t tear them down. Authentic empowerment comes from love not fear. It’s about representing what we stand for and not putting our energy into what we are against (VERY IMPORTANT in today’s climate).

The marketing team said I needed to narrow it down to the one reader. Who was the one person I wanted to get through to with my book? I had the picture of the exact person in my mind. I want to get to the woman who is stuck in patterns of abuse, whether it be self-abuse or abuse from others, because self-abuse tends to lead to abuse (mental, emotional, or physical) from either bosses, partners, children, etc. We can accept from others the level of abuse that we give to ourselves.Some unhealthy patterns were passed down so unconsciously that we have to dig down to see them.

The book deals with what belief systems got us into the patterns that get us to act against ourselves in our lives and how to change them. There are so many reasons a person can choose to pick up the book, but if I can help that one person see their value and give them the tools to lift themselves out of living a life they are not passionately in love with, I’ve helped to make the world better.

When we help others see their best selves, it creates an unstoppable ripple effect. I would have never been able to write this book, if I didn’t have every experience I did, read every book that I did, and believe everything that I did. I’m continuously learning how to better myself, and I will until my journey here is done. With that, I’m able to continually give others seeds to help lift them as I get lifted.

At the time of this post, March 3, 2020, it’s been two weeks since Letters from a Better Me has been out and a little over that for the audiobook, and the audiobook is still in the Top 100 for Domestic Partner Abuse (link). My heart feels full knowing that people are getting the seeds I’m giving. I hope they choose to plant them and that they flourish into beautiful flowers. Life is precious, we each deserve to live lives we love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

You can choose from one of your favorite book retailers here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Amazon has the book on sale at the time of this post, and it’s the only place to get the audiobook (Audible).You can see a preview of the book and a sample of the audiobook when you click on the link below.

Healthy People Don’t Intentionally Hurt Others

To Emotional, Mental, and/or Physical Abusers:

Your pain towards yourselves is very clear. If you were healthy and happy individuals you wouldn’t feel the need to tear someone else down. This is not just to men or women in romantic relationships. This is to the bosses, co-workers, friends, parents, sons, and/or daughters who are out there intentionally hurting others.

In my days of being in an abusive relationship, I became one of you. I called names and used manipulative cunning tools to get my way or to try to one up my abuser. I couldn’t stand the words coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t stand the thoughts going through my head.They were so against my innermost nature. The truth is I hated myself. That is the way I became you. My shame, guilt and lack of self-worth made me feel like there was no other way to escape from my abuser’s verbal attacks.

I believe that people can change, because I’ve been around to see too many people who have for better and/or for worse. One can’t be true without the other. However, I know a great deal of abusers who choose not to change. If you blame ANYONE else for any of your actions, you will not change for the better.

Taking our personal issues out on others doesn’t mean we are bad people, it means we are unhealthy people. There is an issue inside that has gone unhealed, and we are projecting an unhealed part of ourselves out to the world. Does this mean victims should try to fix the person abusing them, feel pity to the point of staying, or put themselves in unsafe situations? NO!!!

The people receiving the emotional, mental, and/or physical beatings aren’t MAKING you do ANYTHING! Your actions, reactions, and feelings are on YOU! You are accountable for every word and action you put out in the world. If you were a happy and healthy person, you would project that to the world. You can’t say you are healthy then tear someone else down in the same breath. If you want to change you have to take a deep hard look at yourself. You have to be honest about how your behavior is affecting your view.You have to look at the beliefs that make it okay for you to do what you do. Everything you say about someone else is a direct reflection of the person you really are. Your darkness comes through in your words. Healthy people don’t intentionally hurt others. 

I accepted abuse for way too long because I hated myself. My abuser couldn’t treat me worse than I treated myself. For every insult I was given I could match it with three. I couldn’t get out until I saw my own worth. I did the same digging. I questioned my beliefs and my behaviors. I had to truly believe that I deserved better than the treatment I was getting. When there was no question about my worth, I left.

My energy level no longer matches that of an abusers’ energy. I now love and respect myself enough to attract healthy people to my life. I know I am lovable and deserve to feel love. I am whole. Therefor, a boss, co-worker, partner, or family member who attempt to abuse me will be met with clear-stated boundaries. Most of all, I will not tear down who I am. I will continue to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated, with love.

I forgave the abusers in my life, but the most important person I forgave is myself. I treated myself horribly. I let how I felt about myself hurt other people I love. That apology was crucial, because without forgiving myself I might have let another one of you affect my inner well-being. I might have went down the shame cycle again doing things that weren’t in the best interests of myself, family, friends, and community. As long as I continue to love myself, I don’t have to take your words and actions personally, because they are just a reflection of your self-hatred. I will pray that you will one day love yourself, so that you no longer hurt the people around you. That is the only interaction I choose to have.  

My goal is to stay healthy and happy so that I will not find my way back to another person like you or become you again. If I see you out there abusing others, I will call you out. I won’t do this to shame you, but in hopes that one day you will see yourself in the eyes of your victims and decide to be better. I will stand up for the victim you are hurting.

Thank you for showing me how important it is to love myself and not believe other people’s opinions of me. Anything I want others to feel about me, I have to feel for myself first. Your actions forced me to move and make the changes I needed in order to have a life I’m proud to be living.

Please, if you find that you are having any thoughts of hurting others, get help. There is a healthier way to live that doesn’t involve anyone having to suffer, including you. We have to stop taking the way we feel inside out on others, and the ONLY way to do that is to get honest with ourselves so that we can heal.

With Forgiveness, Empowerment and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

7 Days Until the Release of Letters from a Better Me!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

For those who want to read Letters from a Better Me, but can’t afford to buy a copy, or are scared to have it in your house, you can ask your local library to carry it.

Dear Fear: A Letter from A Better Me

Dear Fear,

I know you have served me in the past and protected me at times. I thank you for your service in keeping me safe. The problem is now I don’t need protection like I did when I was a child.  Living in your presence on a daily basis is holding me back. I keep attracting more negativity in my life to be afraid of in order to keep you alive and fed.

This doesn’t serve me, or any of the people I love. I can’t blame you, because I gave you power over my life. Some of it I did unconsciously, but other times I knew exactly what I was doing. Now I need to release you and find different ways to cope with the situations in front of me. I’ve realized that if you are in control, love has no room to come through. Your power has been a detriment to my relationships and a drain on my emotions. 

I no longer use you to define my worth. I will not belittle myself in fear of not being loved by others, because I know I’m putting that fearful energy out there and pushing away love. I deserve to feel love from myself. I don’t need your voice in my head making me feel like I’m not good enough. I am!                  

Fear is the gateway energy to way too many bad things. I know when I am living in fear; anger, jealousy, shame, prejudice, and blame are quick to follow in order to support the fear. When I’m not in fear, I don’t have to worry about how others are choosing to live their lives. I’m not in competition with anyone else. I just strive to do my best and help others do their best along the way.  I’ve discovered I’m a better person without fear running my life. I’m free to show more love to myself, others, animals, and the environment. 

I’m also aware of how fearful thinking has skewed my view of reality and took away my appreciation for the present moment. I don’t want to do that to myself, or the people I’m with anymore. Life is too precious to be avoiding it.  My life will no longer revolve around you. 

I no longer need you to help me find solutions. When you are at the core of the decision-making the solutions are not in the best interests for anyone or anything involved. I’m tired of feeling not enough, and that is what believing in you has done to me. I’m so scared of everything, I don’t know what is a real authentic fear and what isn’t. 

I’m tired of not being able to trust my gut because you are weaving a web of terror on my psyche. It makes doing the right thing so much harder, and I’m usually the one who gets hurt in the end if I depend on you.  I’m no longer in need of an energy that will keep me down. I release you so that I can give space for joy, love, and hope to take over my life.  I have finally realized that good solutions don’t come from negative energy.  I’m truly ready to start seeing things differently through love and grace.  

Today, my focus is bringing more good into the world by focusing my energy on the things that will help myself and others live a better life today. I no longer have to fear the unknown future. When I’m free of you my mind clears to make the best informed decisions. I can trust my heart and the energy I put out into the Universe. I can read the warning signs without losing myself to you. I will make better decisions when you are not at the core of my thought process. Today will be a better day without you consuming my thoughts and actions. I lovingly send your energy out into the Universe to be released and transformed.

With love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2017

13 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

You can also purchase the book at Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million (BAM), Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more. You can find some of the links below.

You are NOT Stupid!

To the People who Refer to Themselves as Stupid:

We all make mistakes! Mistakes are missteps, detours, and/or stepping stones to growth (as long as we learn from them). They definitely don’t make us stupid. We may try things and fail again and again. You are still not stupid. You may turn to drugs or alcohol thinking you can escape and find out it only makes everything worse. You are still not stupid. Our self-talk defines what feels normal from someone else. How we talk to ourselves makes it okay for someone else to talk to us however we are talking to ourselves. Make sure it’s good. Our self-talk can be the reason we can’t accept compliments if we don’t believe we deserve them. 

You deserve more than calling yourself names. You deserve more than others calling you names. The first step to living better begins with cleaning up your self-talk. If you aren’t going to do it, you will never be able to feel the full appreciation others have for you, because your focus is on the people who treat you the same way you treat yourself. You have lived and survived many lessons in your life. You deserve to be proud of yourself for still being here. You can take life’s circumstances and learn from them. This doesn’t mean you will do this or anything else in life perfectly, because none of us our perfect. Why are you holding yourself to a standard that you don’t hold anyone else to? 

We simply make choices and we have the ability to make a better choices for ourselves in every moment that passes us. Don’t focus on the future or the past. Don’t worry about where this choice will get you or what has happened before. In this moment, make the best choice that you can make. When you make a choice that brings you joy, celebrate it. When you make a choice that brings you pain, learn from it. Don’t be a prisoner by using your choices as a tool to beat yourself up. 

When you feel stupid for the choice you made, write it down, then right down three better choices. Figure out what is creating you to want to make the unhealthy choices, and then forgive yourself. Thank the Universe for the learning experience. Reframing will help you stop beating yourself up.  You are worth your own kindness. When we are not kind to ourselves, we allow others to walk on us. We lie down and become a doormat willingly because we don’t have the self-worth to say something. We try to prove our worth to others by doing for them what they can do for themselves. This still doesn’t make us stupid. We are doing the best we can do in every moment.

Today, commit to making choices that make you feel good inside. Today, do something for yourself that makes you feel valuable. Try looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not stupid, I’m learning.” Say it until you believe it. When you do, your reality will shift for the better.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

15 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other purchasing options can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

A Letter to Self: Staying Open to Learn

Dear Self,

Please, keep your eyes open to what is beyond physical sight. Help me to be aware of how my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors are guiding me. If I’m focused on fear, please make me aware of seeing my situation through eyes of love. Let me see there is a choice in how I perceive each experience in my life.

When I focus on love, let me revel in the feelings that bring me great joy. Help me find ways to see love in action all around me. Help me to focus on being present so I don’t miss a moment. I want to be available to see all the doors opening in front of me and to know which ones I need to close. 

Please don’t run from yourself. When things come up, face them! I know how important it is to feel the way through the pain so it doesn’t become suppressed shame. When that happens, I end up taking it out on others and it is not their stuff. My awareness will set me free. If I’m aware of where the pain first started, I can heal it. I don’t have to punish myself for things that happened when I was a child or even a young adult. I can see them as growth experiences and just stay focused on being aware of not repeating harmful patterns. 

Lastly, let me be aware of when I am trying to self-medicate through toxic sources. This means, I’m picking friends who are stirring up drama, or I choose to stir up drama; I find abusive relationships whether verbal or physical as a way to abuse myself; I drink to get numb and drunk; I take substances to avoid facing my own darkness; I do anything in excess such as eat, watch TV, play games, and get caught up in social media. If I have a negative vice, please make me aware of a positive one to steer me in the direction of love, peace, and gratitude in my life.

With Loving Thoughts,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2017,2020

17 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other buying options can be found at http://FromALovingPlace.com/book/

An Apology for What I Missed

Dear Now,

I never knew how against you I really was. I thought I was more attuned than I actually am. A passage in A New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle just opened my eyes. He explains, “There are three ways in which the ego will treat the present moment: as a means to an end, as an obstacle, or as enemy” (p.202). As I read on it became clearer as to how I really have been treating you. 

As grateful as I am for all my many blessing, I’m finally seeing how I created some serious obstacles to abundance and growth. I’ve been missing so many moments of presence by just getting through a period of time.  If I just get through this time, then I can do… fill in the blank. I’ve used my present moment as an obstacle, hence an excuse not to embrace the moment. It’s because I’m here that I can’t do… fill in the blank. Finally, time has definitely been my enemy as I put my walls up and go into survival mode. When I’m in a situation where I feel attacked and unappreciated, I can slip right past you and not see what is really going on. I’m so far beyond the present moment. I can honestly say, I don’t even know what is happening when I get like this. 

I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being so unaware of how my actions are making me miss some very important moments and opportunities. I’m working on being present and not taking you for granted. I know in every moment that I have air moving through my lungs, I have an opportunity to be grateful. When I am with you and can stay with you, the pain in a moment can be transformed. I can see more than meets the eye when I honor you. 

Right NOW, I commit to having a better relationship with you. I will do as Tolle suggests:

“What is my relationship with the present moment? Then become alert to find out the answer. Am I treating the Now as no more than a means to an end? Do I see it as an obstacle? Am I making it into an enemy?(p. 203)

I know that by doing this, I will find the oneness with life that I’ve been in search of. I know the obstacles will fall away and I will get to experience the one thing I’ve been missing in my everyday life, you. 

I will no longer have to go somewhere else to appreciate a moment of awe, I can do it right here and Now, with you. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

19 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!!!

For more purchasing choices go to https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

A Letter from A Better Me: No Perfection Needed

Dear Perfection,

I know you don’t exist, so why do I expect you in places you don’t belong? Why do I expect others to not make mistakes? Why do I condemn myself when I make mistake? My logic tells me I learn from the mistakes I made. Isn’t that better than not learning anything at all. Is it necessary to shame myself and others for their mistakes, especially if they are taking responsibility and learning from them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some very sick people out there. I’ve personally experienced quite a few, but they have the right to learn from their mistakes too.

If they are incapable of learning from their mistakes, they will serve as a great lesson, and if I learn from that extreme lesson, it’s a blessing. In this way, I’m not the victim of someone else’s imperfections. People who don’t learn will get lesson, after lesson, after lesson. They may blame, shame, and continue to abuse themselves and others, and it will keep getting worse for them. Not my problem. That’s their stuff, that is their attachments to how they think life should be. I get to decide how I want to live. You better believe, I’m not going to choose that way. Life is about the lessons and the blessings. There is no place for you here. 

I’m not going to beat myself up if I have feelings of fear, rage, anger, frustration, and disappointment. I’m not going to shame myself into unworthiness if I really screw up. It happens, and if I take responsibility for my part, I’ll heal. I’ll be free. I can’t take responsibility for someone else’s feelings, reactions, or actions. I can only take responsibility for mine. If I’m sorry and truly wronged someone, you better believe I will take responsibility for it. Even if they never meet me again, I will pay it forward. I am truly grateful each lesson that I get the opportunity to learn from. When I stopped believing in you, the blessings started flowing into my life.

I’m not perfect. Nobody is perfect. The expectation of perfection is a recipe for resentments, and I’m so tired of resentments. I’m tired of staying up all night having conversations in my head with people I will never talk to. I’m tired of carrying around dread and fear that is weighing me down. I’m taking responsibility for taking care of me: body, mind, and soul! There is no space for perfection, just lessons and blessings. It is not either/or. I do mean “and”. If I learn the lesson, it becomes a blessing. That is a perspective that brings me peace. When I’m at peace, I feel joy. When I feel joy, I’m free.  

With Many Blessings and a Whole Lot of Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

#LessonsAndBlessings

20 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

SNEAK PEEK: Dear Addicted Child (Adult)

A Letter from Chapter 4: Healing and Releasing the Past

Chapter 4 is all about healing and releasing what doesn’t align with the energy we want to be living in. Chapter’s sections are: Everyday Encounters, Media Triggers, Family History, Loved Ones, Personal Traumas, Spirituality, and Self.

The following letter is one I’ve watched many families dealing with addiction go through. Learning to lovingly detach and not enable addicts is not an easy journey. If you have an addicted child in your life, I personally recommend AL-ANON. YOU will NEVER be able to FIX the addict, but YOU can lessen the negative impact the addict has on your life. You can learn to love, show support, and help him/her/them by taking care of you.

Excerpt from LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World by Rachael Wolff

HEALING WITH LOVED ONES…

Dear Addicted Child (Adult), 

I’m sorry that you found your way to addiction. That is a tough path, and once you’re on it, choices feel limited. I had to realize that I can’t rescue you from this. You are on this path for a reason. The best I can do is show you by example that there is a healthier and happier way. I can’t preach it to you. I just have to live my life the best I can and show you what is possible. I will let you know that I love you, but I can’t enable you.  You must be the one who takes back control of your life. I know you are capable. If I keep rescuing you from yourself, I’m telling you that you can’t get better without me. The truth is: You can’t get better if I’m in control. I will just perpetuate the cycle that you aren’t good enough, and you are good enough. When I enable you, all I’m doing is perpetuating the problem. You have to experience your own consequences in order to grow from them. I know you are capable of living a better life, but you have to choose to. I can’t do it for you.

I will be here to love you and to listen, but I know when you are ready to stop, you will be driven to get the help you need. I must see you as the adult you are instead of the child I was responsible for. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Your successes and failures are leading you on your journey. I don’t know what is best for you because I don’t know what you are meant to learn from this path. I love you and hope you will discover you are worth more than you are giving yourself right now. Until you figure that out, you will continue to suffer. No one else can complete you. You are a whole person all by yourself. 

With Acceptance & Love, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff, LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME: HOW BECOMING AN EMPOWERED WOMAN TRANSFORMS THE WORLD, Mango Publishing (Miami, FL), 2020. Pages 119-120.

A Letter of Empowerment to Single Moms

Dear Single Moms,

I was raised by you, and I am you. I see you completely in your struggles and your joys. I know how easy it is to get lost in the title. There have been times when I feel like I have to struggle just because I’m a single mom. I’ve felt alone when I’m around all these families who are showing up for their kids. I’ve felt burdened by having to be both mom and dad in order to protect and nurture my kids’ mental/emotional growth. I’ve limited myself by saying things are hard because I’m a single mom. 

The truth is that it is my choice how I view my life as a mom. I can choose to see the many blessings that come with knowing the way I’ve chosen to parent. I can be grateful for the kindness we have received from the people who want to see my children thrive. I can choose to feel like I matter. My contribution to my kids’ lives matters. 

There are times when I feel like I’m operating in total survival mode, but I survive. There is always a lesson to be learned, and I continue to be better. I’m far from perfect. I can choose to do and be the best I can be. Each of us can make that choice at any moment we choose. We don’t have to listen to people who tell us how hard our lives are, we can change the language. When someone tells me how hard it is to be a single mom, I feel my energy sink. I believe them as I share one story after another letting them know just how hard things really are for me. The question is, do I want to focus on how hard things are and what a struggle it is to be a single mom? The answer for me is no! 

I want my kids to know how loved they are. I want to give them every opportunity I can to experience the best life possible. I’m a single EMPOWERED MOM,I want to put positive energy into my role. I don’t want them feeling like I was bitter or resented them for my position. I’ve been blessed in so many ways. I’ve learned so many great lessons, and I’ve received so much kindness and so have they. We are blessed, not cursed.

I’m choosing to parent a different way. My life is better for the choices I’ve made. The happier I am, the better my kids have it. I’m showing them the example of honoring and respecting yourself. They don’t have to be abused physically, mentally, or emotionally. They don’t have to be around excessive drinking or drugs. They don’t need someone just to be there, they deserve better than that. So did I, which is why I chose this road. We enjoy our lives. Do we have many lessons to learn? Yes, but we all do. I believe we get opportunities to learn what we need to become the best versions of ourselves. That is the legacy I want to pass on to my children. I know God will never give me more than I can handle, and I feel the same way about the lessons God gives them.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me & A Better Mom

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

28 More Days Until the Release of Letter from A Better Me

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