I’m grateful I have healthy emotional support. Today, emotional support is needed more than ever. We are in a place where we can quickly spin our stories towards fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance, and peace based on the emotional support of the people around us. There are FEAR-BASED frenzies happening on every topic available for our picking. So many focused on fear of the unknown future instead of making choices that align us with the energy of love, abundance, and peace NOW. When we have healthy support systems, they question our stories that are based in fear, lack, and separation. I truly hope that all the people reading this have at least one person they can go to that won’t get on the hamster wheel with them.
This doesn’t mean we can vent an purge to get out the stuff that is inside us, holding it in isn’t healthy. This means once we get it out, we are willing to look at the stories we are telling ourselves that are causing us to stay in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It means that we trust someone enough to confront our stories. Feelings aren’t facts, feelings move through us based on the stories we are telling ourselves. This is why we can’t MAKE someone else happy and they can’t MAKE us happy. The opposite is also true, we can’t make someone else unhappy. We are responsible and accountable for our own stories and they are what will make us happy, sad, radiant, rage-filled, jealous, trusting, and so on. When we have HEALTHY emotional support, our supporters don’t feed the stories that aren’t serving us.
I’m blessed to be surrounded by people who I can vent to, but also who allow me the space to transition out of my venting to help me figure out my stories. I learned a priceless tool from my friend Sarah years ago. She said, “Don’t go to the hardware store for bread.” It means know who to go to for what. Here’s some examples: I have certain friends who provide great laugh therapy. Then I have a couple people who I can talk in rich detail about our spiritual journeys. I have a boyfriend that will NEVER spin with me, but if I need to spin, he lets me spin and then we move into what I can do right now. I have other coaches and authors I speak to about relatable topics. Then, I have a friend who is also a survivor of narcissistic abuse that we can talk to each other about specific triggers. There are certain people who are educated in different areas. If we are trying to be the best version of ourselves, it’s good to know where the people we love and trust strengths are.
Think of story spinning like running on a hamster wheel, it won’t get you anywhere. Having healthy emotional support whether they are professional (i.e. therapists, coaches, pastors, etc.), friends, support groups, spiritual communities, and/or loved ones, are a key factor in where we will let our stories take us. Healthy support is not about numbing us to what is going on inside us, it’s about helping to open us up to what is going on inside of us. I also never forget to pray for messengers to help me through my challenges. They ALWAYS show up! Sometimes in very mysterious ways. I have to stay open to the support I need.
Today, I commit to seeking out healthy emotional support. Healthy emotional support aligns me with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. Unhealthy emotional support aligns me with the energy of fear, lack, and separation. It really is that simple. We have to make sure what energy we are aligning with. We must be clear on what exactly we are looking for. On day number 106 (click here for link), I wrote about living with purpose. If you want a healthy support system, you want to be clear on your purpose first. Otherwise, you won’t have a clue in how to go about getting the best support. I talked about my vision board that reflects the inner world I want. When we know that, we start seeking out people who have the strengths in the areas we are looking for. We put our intentions out to the Universe so that the right people show up to help us accomplish it. When we don’t know what we want our inner world to look like, it can be really hard to get what we need. When we aren’t clear, it becomes harder for us to see others clearly. We become easy prey for unhealthy people spreading fear, lack, and separation. We get internally lost in some very dangerous stories. When we are there we hard time even seeing what is healthy and what isn’t.
We can all get lost in our own dark stories, that’s why it’s good to have a touchstone, like the vision board to help us back to how we want to be living. Looking at my board when I’m struggling actually helps me determine who I want to talk to. I also can look at the board and see if I’ve aligned with a person who is not healthy for my journey. The visual aid helps to keep me on track for living my best life and getting the healthy support I need to do it.