I’m grateful I overcame my victim mentality. I’m a multiple trauma survivor, so when I say this, I don’t say it lightly. There is a huge difference from being a victim of a oppression, harassment, assault, abuse, etc. and living in a victim mentality. It’s the same difference between feeling fear and living in a fear-based mentality. The “mentality” makes it a driving force in our lives. It’s the mentality that makes us spin all our stories to see victimhood and fear. It’s the mentality that pigeon-holes our focus to only look in directions that prove to us that we are victims at every turn.
There is a lot of psychology in marketing. Whether it be marketing for products, organizations, churches, political parties, candidates, and lifestyles. When we live in victim mentality, we turn off our critical thinking that makes us ask ourselves the right questions about what we are taking in. It stops us from doing the research outside of our own victim/fear-based resources which are all perpetuating fear, WHICH IS HOW THEY GET US TO DO WHAT THEY WANT! Even though people are using this to their advantage, it still doesn’t mean we need to ALLOW ourselves to be victims of it. I don’t carry anger and hate around to all those who use these techniques. That is their karma. Mine is making sure my energy is aligned with what I want to see more of in the world, which is love, abundance, and peace.
Our feelings of powerlessness and living in the illusion that something outside of ourselves gives us power is how we fall into belief systems of us against them, inferiority, superiority, cult mentality, along with blaming, shaming, and victimizing others. It’s a VICIOUS CYCLE. The only way the cycle continues is if we buy into it. I can’t tell you how many times people have tried to get me to buy into their fear-based belief systems. I had to recognize within myself that the only times I buy into them is when I’m in a fear-based or victim-based mentality. I’ve had people tell me that as a abuse (verbal, mental, and emotional) and rape survivor how I would feel for the rest of my life. I WAS a victim. I’ve spent years working on myself to break free from victim mentality because I saw how much it limited my thinking. I saw how my own stories were keeping me prisoner. This doesn’t mean current events don’t trigger me from time to time, they are feelings and they pass. I don’t give them the power to rule my life. Breaking free from victim mentality didn’t just happen. I had to work my ASS off! I had to fully commit to empowering myself from within. That is how I stopped being victim of anyone who wanted to have any power over what I did and how I did it.
Sometimes when people read “From a loving place”, they think light and fluffy. If you take a deeper look at the blogs that I’ve been writing since 2016, I face the world head on from a loving place. I don’t deny my feelings that are ugly and painful. I allow them to teach me what they are here to teach me. I look at what I’m feeling and dig into it. I don’t run, avoid, or numb what is going on inside of me. This is how I overcame victim mentality. I become a prisoner to the outside world if I’m not honest with myself. Not only have I done bad things when I was in that space, I’ve watched millions of people being swayed by the same psychology tapping into our alignment with fear, lack, and separation. That is the same place that victim mentality lives, breathes, and spreads. If someone is trying to convince me that I am a VICTIM, all my RED flag sensors go off. Being a victim can set off people’s rage, fear, and hate.
I took my power back when I became responsible and accountable for the energy I exude. When I took responsibility for this, I found ways to change my thoughts, beliefs, and actions to align with what I wanted to see more of. If I’m not aligned with love, abundance, and peace, there is no one else responsible and accountable for that. I have to make the commitment to shift my energy. I have to take responsibility for healing past hurts that keep my thoughts prisoner.
The number one person I had to stop being victim of was myself. That is how I kept my inner victim alive was because I kept abusing myself. When I abused myself, I invited others in to make me feel like a victim too. I became victim of the media, beauty industry, political parties, and even the fitness industry. I kept looking outside of myself to feed my inner victim. As I’ve observed people in 2020 and watched myself sliding down into a spiral, I’m so grateful I caught myself. Just because we have the tools not to be in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, doesn’t mean we will do the work. That’s what was happening to me. I stopped doing the work. That was no one else’s fault. I take responsibility for my slip, which is how I was able to find a solution. That is why I’m here today writing this piece.
Today, I commit to empowering myself. FromALovingPlace.com and my book, Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World are LOADED with tools to help individuals empower themselves. Empowering ourselves doesn’t mean disempowering anyone else. It doesn’t mean taking someone else’s power away. Empowerment is about rising together. We rise together when we become the healthiest versions of ourselves, because only from that place are we open to hear others clearly. When we are aligned with fear, lack, and separation, everything we hear, see, and feel is skewed with that lens. If we want to let go of our victim mentality, we have to be willing to look at ourselves without blaming and shaming ourselves for our missteps. When we do that, we only strengthen victim mentality. We simply need to practice empowering ourselves starting with treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated. When we don’t treat ourselves well, we don’t have healthy boundaries. It’s very easy to become a victim of the outside world if we don’t have healthy boundaries safeguarded by the energy of love, abundance, and peace.
Not succumbing to victim mentality doesn’t mean we will never be victims again. What it does mean is that we will have the tools to see that the person who hurt us was the sick individual. Just because they want to take our power away by whatever avenue they are taking, doesn’t mean they can. I was shocked after I was harassed by an unhealthy individual. I said to myself, “He is not talking to me, he is talking to himself.” I also asked myself, “Do I want to take on his toxic energy?” I didn’t, which is why I made the decision to walk away. I knew that he wasn’t open to hear my words, so I wasn’t willing to risk my peace. Just because I made those choices, I still had to work through stuff happening inside of me, but because I didn’t give away my power, I was able to open my mind up to solutions that didn’t compromise my emotional and psychological well-being.
Living life from a loving place is a one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time journey. Empowerment is a gift we give ourselves by doing the work. If you like what you are reading here, follow along daily by scrolling down and following FromALovingPlace.com.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2021
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World