A child looks into the mirror as a thousand of messages go through his or her head. Questions, thoughts, and statements go into the mirror. As they bounce back a reality is created. How that child treats people is all in what happens in that mirror. As time goes on, the statements sometimes will start moving in one direction or the other. Are the messages helpful or hurtful? It all depends on which side is being fed. Are they spending more time putting themselves down or lifting themselves up? The messages are so powerful that each one can create a lesson to happen sometime in our lives.

As time passes, we become adults. The messages and lessons will keep moving in one direction or the other. If we are open, we will get that looking into the mirror and through the mirror are two very different things. When we look into the mirror, we are unaware of what we are putting into it. We have no idea that the messages we feed our reflections will reflect into every aspect of our lives. The messages create how we treat others and how we are treated in return. When we look through the mirror, we consciously put messages into our reflections that we want to see reflected back to us. While we are getting ready for the day, we can choose to take a second and notice what is being put into the reflection staring back at us.

• What kinds of things are happening in my life?
• Am I being treated like I matter?
• Am I confident in my abilities and character?
• Do I see beauty when I look in?
• Do I see flaws?
• Do I beat myself up for all that I am or am not?
• Do I have faith that life is working for me?
• Do I feel like I am being punished?
• Do I feel like I am blessed?
• Am I grateful?
• Do I feel like I deserve this?
• Do I feel like I don’t deserve this?
• Is my life better or worse than I could have ever imagined?
• Am I a victim or a champion of my circumstances?
• Does the past define and control my present?
• Am I resentful?
• Do I know how to look in the mirror and forgive?

The answers to how to make our lives better are staring us in the face. We have to gain the courage to look through the mirror. Find the wisdom to see that our lives are a reflection of everything we have put into the mirror hanging on our bathroom walls. This is not a task for the weak; the weak will choose to keep letting the mirror control their lives. They will look into it, but not go deeper. They may try to escape through their drug of choice. These are the people who will continue to be the victim of their lives and constantly blame circumstances for how their lives are on someone or something else. This is a choice each of us has in every moment that passes.

When a hard lesson crosses my path, I need to choose how to look at it. What will I take from the suffering? I may even bounce back and forth from wanting to look through the mirror and getting scared, to just wanting to look into the mirror for awhile.

The faster we learn that we are not alone, whether it is through spirit or from the people who truly love us. We will gain the confidence and strength we need to look through the mirror for longer and more painful time periods. This is when the real miracles start to occur. Sometimes the biggest challenges come from knowing who to trust to be on this journey with us.

For me, I had to get over my anger at God and finally see I was not alone in the Universe. I needed to figure out I was capable of feeling the ultimate love that stems from a source so great, that no humanness can touch it’s power. Then I needed to find the best definition of love. The people who would come on this journey with me would need to be able to give and receive this love openly. (You can read more about my journey to finding the meaning of love by clicking here.) I wanted friends who would help me hold myself accountable with 100% love in their hearts.

The journey to looking through the mirror isn’t linear. We go back, forth, up, and down. We make U-turns and sometimes come to abrupt stops, but each move matters. Each move will keep us moving on our journey to the lessons and the blessings. The more open we are, the clearer the signs will be. We may be led to messages, books, movies, places, and/or people. This very piece may be a step in your journey. I know writing it is a step in mine.

In order to see, we need to trust the process. The journey will not always be fun and full of joy. Sometimes looking through the mirror will take us to the darkest parts of our childhood and we may learn about some painful things we’ve never seen before. We may also find the times in our lives where we were offered love, the real love, but denied it due to our own guilt and shame. Don’t give up. Stop as long as you need, stay in any stage as long as you need, but don’t give up. Keep looking, the truth is always revealed to give space for healing and growth.

If you are on this journey with someone, please understand that you can’t force them to be in a different place. We all make this journey in our own timing. Sometimes watching our friends and family go through this is painful.

• Are they staying in a toxic relationship?
• Are they abusing drugs and alcohol?
• Are they stuck in the past traumas of their lives?
• Are they being destructive?

Pray for them and keep praying, but don’t try to convince them to be somewhere they are not. We have to meet people where they are. The best advice I can give is to offer them different possible ways to look at a situation without forcing or insisting it is the right way. When we are stuck, we often feel trapped in our story or chosen perspective. Sometimes just offering another perspective can get the wheels turning. What is important to remember, we all have our own journey. When we focus on the lives of others as if we know what’s better for them, we are avoiding our own journey. We really need to look deeper and look through the mirror. When we spot what’s broken in somebody else, it usually means we have some similar battle going on within ourselves.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff  ©2017