I’m grateful for my feelings. I was taught to take responsibility for my feelings over thirty years ago. Now, when I first learned. I didn’t know the difference between taking responsibility and self-blame. After years of self-blame, I saw that was one of the way I abused myself. Then in-turn, I let others abuse me the same way. Our feelings are a reflection of the stories we are telling ourselves. When I look at it that way, I become grateful of my feelings because it allows me to see the stories I’m telling myself. If I don’t like the stories, I can change them. If I LOVE the stories, I can truly enjoy the feelings coming from them. Just in this moment, writing these words, I have tingles running through me feeling the love flowing through my fingers. Recently, I watched my feelings take me into stories of fear, lack, and separation and love, abundance, and peace. They are both MY stories and the stories I’m attaching to with my feelings will make whatever story I’m telling myself more and more real in my mind. I love my feelings. I’m grateful for the ones that challenge me and the ones that make my soul sign with joy.
Today, I commit to honoring my feelings. Too many of us are taught to shove unpleasant and sometimes even pleasant feelings down. When we do that they stir into dark toxic potions of shame, blame, rage, jealousy, envy, hate, amongst others. These toxic potions leak out from us into everything we touch.
Our feelings are important. Our voices are important. We can feel things without pointing fingers. We can honor our feelings in healthy ways. For me, having time to process my feelings is important. When they are feelings that are heavy, I NEED space. If I don’t have space, I might blame even though I know that my feelings are my responsibility. My son and I were talking about adult couples the other day. He was commenting on how my partner and I “fight”. He acknowledged that we both tend to storm off, then come back to talk about it, and usually end up laughing. In the space when we do this, we claim what is ours. We come back once we’ve processed and talk rationally. I told myself it’s important to figure out what is yours before we bring someone else into it. I have to see and hear the stories I’m telling myself first that are creating the feelings that I’m having.
Recently, my kids and I started taking deeper looks at the stories we were telling ourselves that are fueling the feelings we are having about different things. When I do this, I am honoring the feelings I’m having because I know they are their to teach me something. I don’t just let them pass me by or shove them down.
Now, all that is important for the heavier feelings. It’s also important to honor our light and freeing feelings tool. ENJOY them!!! We all know that feelings move, change, and shift. We don’t get to hold onto a feeling forever, we get the moment we are in to enjoy whatever feeling we are having. Live in your happily ever NOW!
We are going to have all different kinds of feelings throughout our lifetimes—HONOR THEM!! Let them guide you in the moment, so that they don’t create toxic energy within you, or that you miss it when the AWE-filled ones come in. Be in the moment! The AWE is magical feeling that spreads love throughout your whole body. Be present with that! Experience the tingles, goosebumps, and expansion having this feeling creates. If you are feeling grief, sadness, fear, anger, etc. Don’t pick up that drink, food, remote, or game. Feel through it. See what it is there to teach you. Call a TRUSTED friend or mental health professional. None of us have to go through this alone. There is NO feeling that any of us have had that someone else hasn’t had. What is different is the story that fuels the feeling. Don’t disconnect from people because they understand the feeling, but not the story. Our stories are ours, but if they are not aligning us with love, abundance, and peace, we can change how we tell them to ourselves and others.
I have a friend who’s son was murdered by his father in a murder-suicide. Now, if I listened to what some people tell me about talking to someone who is grieving, I would never have had the amazing conversations that her and I have had together since his passing. The story that she lets live inside her ignites her purpose, her faith, her love, and her light in the world. She honors her feelings of grief when they move through her, but she honors the joys in her life in the moments she gets them. She inspires so many people by living authentically in her moments. We only separate from others because of the stories we are telling ourselves. No matter matter what feelings you are having in this moment, embrace them with love. Allow them to move through you and know that the energy of love is there like a warm blanket protecting you. You are safe.
Right now we are going through a time where many people’s stories have taken them over and the feelings are all over the place moment to moment. If you need help, please reach out. If you align your energy with getting the help you need to get you through this time, God WILL send messengers. You just have to be open enough to see them. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I didn’t keep myself open to all the helpers.
With Love, Abundance, and Peace,
©Rachael Wolff 2020
Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World