Ep. 16 Listening with Love: The Art of Intuitive Listening and Responding

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“The thing about intuition is it doesn’t come in a fearful way. It doesn’t rattle the nervous system. It doesn’t shock us or scare us. It’s not a loud booming voice. To me, it’s about: it’s as if it’s the most loving compassionate language is coming through me.”

-Ashley Torrent, “SOW #23 Understanding the Intuitive Voice

In Episode 13, “The Role of Silence in Deep Listening” I mentioned the quote above, which came from my conversation with Ashley Torrent in Episode 23 of the Seeds of Wisdom series, “Understanding the Intuitive Voice’” I highly encourage you watch or listen to that episode if you are seeking more understanding about intuition.

Intuitive Listening

When we are intuitively listening, we are listening beyond the words of the conversation. We are fully present to people’s emotions, body languages, tones, and textures…that’s in addition to the words they are and are not saying. Sometimes the unspoken word is more powerful than what’s being said.

With intuitive listening we can see through to the core of what’s being said, not said, and why. Even if we can’t answer the why, we know there is one. Intuitive listening has helped people bring attention to toxic work environments, cults, abusive relationships, unhealthy friendships and family dynamic, and so much more.

Intuitive listening helps us see beyond agenda, which is often hidden behind the words. It gives space for the truth that lies within the energy of what’s being projected. For example, loving, positive words can hide a person real intention of trying to get listeners to connect with the energy of fear, lack, and separation.

Marketing uses this tactic all the time to sell women’s clothes, facial creams, dieting products, and more. They use positive words to hide that they want you to be in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, so that you will feel a strong emotional surge to buy their products. If someone tries to make you feel less than in order to make money on you, they are either truly coming from the energy of fear, lack, and separation or know that if they want your money, they have to get you there. People who feel happy and/or grateful with who they are and what they have don’t feel the lack they are selling. Even if someone is selling politics, religions, and even some self-help programs.

I have said it before and I will say it again, anyone who acts like they are the only person, or it’s the only product that will make your life better…RUN! We can only hear that message if we are intuitively listening.

Intuitive listening can also help the people we love, work with, or interact with on a regular basis. When we intuitively listen, we aren’t planning how we’re going to respond to the the person talking. We are just letting them reveal their truth beyond what they are saying. It also leads the way to the healthiest response.

Intuitive Responding

Intuitive responding has nothing to do with what we think we should say. There is a physical marker in someone who is intuitively responding, and that’s a pause. The pause isn’t a thinking pause. When it’s a thinking pause, the words after will often come out very fast. It’s almost like letting the pressure out of a balloon. The listener has been planning their response, so it’s been there just waiting to come out. If there is a pause, it’s just a last minute attempt to organize the thoughts before they come out.

In speaking to many friends who are well versed in intuitive listening and responding, what I’ve noticed is the pause is a deeper connection. The words come out in a soft flow. It’s almost like the message is being passed through them. When I’m intuitively listening and responding, I have no plan on what I’m going to say, the words just flow through me. Sometimes, I don’t even understand the full message coming out, but the person who it’s meant for does.

If I’m intuitively listening and responding through my writing, the words in my response just flow through my fingers. Much of what I write and when I write relies on my intuition. Honestly, sometimes it’s intuitively listening to a TikTok post or reel on Instagram, I trust whatever flows through my fingers when it comes from that soft spot. That’s how I know it’s coming from the energy of love, abundance, and peace.

If I’m in a reactionary place, I know that I haven’t listened with love. I’ve listened from the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I’m reacting to what I’m seeing or hearing from that place. If we are in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, we aren’t capable or responding intuitively in that moment. If we are reacting emotionally, that’s our stuff in there. Intuitively responding isn’t about our stuff. That’s one of the ways we can tell the difference.

It’s also why when we have a personal connection with someone, it’s harder to intuitively listen and respond. This is NOT a judgment. When we care about someone, we want the best for them. It’s hard to separate what we want for them with intuitive messages coming through.

If I can’t distinguish my story from another person’s, I’m not in a place to intuitively respond. If I’m responding with something from my story, that takes thought. I was thinking about my response ahead of time. It didn’t just flow out, it was planned. That kind of listening and responding is important too, but it’s not intuitively responding. If there is a plan, it’s not intuitive. I hope that makes sense.

When we intuitively respond, it comes out slowly and consciously. This is because we are sitting with each word as it comes out. I’ve heard many intuitive responses over the years. They come with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. The person speaking is peaceful, and if I’m absorbing what they are saying, that peace resonates inside of me. Sometimes it physically manifests as tingles or chills. Those are the best kinds of messages. Those are the ones I pay close attention to.

The Art of Intuitive Listening and Responding

The art of intuitive listening and responding is like a slow moving partner dance where all the steps flow together to make something beautiful. It’s not rushed. It’s not forced, but following steps is important to how the dance comes out:

  1. Be present with your partner. If you are thinking ahead, you aren’t relying on your intuition.
  2. Take in all of what they are saying and not saying. Look for the cues that take you beyond the words being spoken. We can help to save lives by mastering this dance. For abuse victims and people who are suicidal, this is may the last chance we have to make sure that person feels seen and heard.
  3. Be aware of your emotions. If you are having an emotional reaction, whether it’s good or bad, you have moved out of the dance.
  4. Pause. Take a breath before allowing the response to flow out. If you know everything you are about to say, that’s not intuitive responding. That doesn’t mean it’s the wrong response though.
  5. Let the words flow. Allow the words just to come out. If they are coming from the energy of fear, lack, and separation, that is not your intuition. That is your fear speaking. Love feels open in your throat and fear feels tight.

Letting Your Intuition Guide You

Sometimes we intuitively listen and the response we get from the Universe is to actively listen or deeply listen. We must trust where our intuition guides us when we are listening and responding. If we can help a person using our personal stories, then we want to trust that’s the best course of action in that moment. If a person needs someone to deeply listen to them while they figure something out for themselves and trust their own intuition, it’s great if we can give them space to do that.

Our intuition is available to us when we are present and open to hear it. Our intuition can’t show up if we are in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Usually what we are feeling there is our nervous system reacting. If there is any past trauma, that doesn’t tend to be a voice we can depend on. Our nervous system can quickly take us to flight, fight, freeze, or fawn. That’s when doing some butterfly tapping or EFT tapping can help.

It’s our job to trust that intuitive voice and know the difference. Go back to the opening quote. Learn to listen to that intuitive voice. Once you do, intuitive listening and responding will become a lot more obvious when they are happening. I love when I can spot it. It feels very empowering.

Just remember if you want to listen to this episode, it comes out the Friday following the post date on the From A Loving Place with Author Rachael Wolff Podcast. It’s now also available on YouTube.

Until Next time, I wish you love, abundance, and peace.

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