I don’t know about anyone else, but I get so overwhelmed when I think about my overall diet. I used to go on these healthy eating kicks, and then I would mess-up a.k.a. cheat, beat myself up, and then say, “screw it.” Talk about vicious cycles! I’ve decided to take my eating, one bite at a time. What can I eat now that would benefit the health of my body? Wow, has it changed things. It’s taken the shame out of my eating habits, and that feels GREAT!

This weekend I took a mini-grounding break. Sometimes when life gets really busy, I forget about simply enjoying the BEING of life. I personally like nature as a tool to help me get grounded again after going through a longterm state of being overwhelmed. It’s something about experiencing the AWE that I’m brought back to full BEING-NESS of living. That’s what I mean by grounding.

While I enjoyed the beautiful nature of my experience, I also thoroughly enjoyed local eateries. This doesn’t mean that I ate healthy every step of the way. In fact, in this case, I didn’t. I know that some of what I was eating wasn’t healthy, and I’m okay with that. I enjoyed EVERY bite. I also enjoyed flavored coffees from someone who took a lot of pride in mixing flavors together that danced beautifully in the mouth. When I was shaming myself over eating this weekend would have been a BIG problem, but not today!

Today, I’m focusing my energy on what I can do now to eat for my health. It feels so much better!!!! Eating without stories of shame is so much better for our bodies and our souls. Shaming ourselves into submission isn’t what getting healthy is about—Shaming is NOT HEALTHY!

Just because people use shaming tactics regularly, doesn’t mean it’s what is best for us as individuals, a group, a culture, or a society.

Here are two stories I can convey to myself while I’m putting something in my body that is healthy for me:

1. I’m drinking this smoothie filled with fresh organic fruits and vegetables along with local honey, turmeric, and freshly shredded ginger root (tip freezing ginger root makes it really easy to shred), because I love the way my body feels and the energy I have after drinking it. I love that I’m doing something that supports healthy organs.
2. I’m drinking this smoothie because if I don’t lose any weight, I will go on feeling miserable like this forever. Nobody will see my value or truly love me if I don’t look like I take care of myself. Nobody will listen to my message if I continue to look like this.

Now, when I consider these statements, the first one makes me feel great about what I’m doing. I feel an expansive sensation through my chest. I’m also showing myself an act of self-love by drinking something that makes me feel good.

The second statement, which I’ve said variations of before, I felt ashamed of how I looked. In my body, my throat and chest feel constricted. I get this feeling of wanting to curl into a fetal position. Talking to myself this way wasn’t about doing something that felt good, it was about punishing myself because I didn’t accept and love myself. I am self-abusing when I treat myself that way. I’m actually contributing to energy that I don’t want when I’m letting stories like the second one play on repeat. I’m still feeding myself poison no matter how healthy the food may be.

That’s why today, when I make my smoothie, I’m going to focus on the benefits of what I’m putting into my body, because that’s what I CAN do NOW. Then, the next time I want to eat, I will ask myself, What can I eat now to benefit the health of my body? Intuitively when we come to ourselves with love, we will feel drawn to what feels loving.

Just like a garden, we can’t feed it poison and expect it to grow to it’s full potential. The more we treat a garden with love, the more it will flourish.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, author of Letters from a Better Me and host of the From A Loving Place with Rachael Wolff podcast