When I’ve exhausted what I CAN do, it’s time to let it go. Letting go isn’t giving up. Letting go is accepting what is, and working from there. Holding onto a dream or a nightmare of what’s not real is a choice. Worrying and wanting things to be different than they are takes A LOT of energy. Is it being used wisely?
I feel so depleted if I’ve done everything I’m able to do and continue to put my energy into the situation. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I’m not telling others they have to believe that. Believing it is what feels right to me. Just like everything else on my blog, it’s a perspective.
When I let go of the tight grip of how I think the world SHOULD be, people SHOULD be, situations SHOULD be, and overall things SHOULD be—I’m left with what IS. What IS gives me something I can actually work with NOW.
My life as a single mom with two teenagers and a long-time boyfriend can get very hectic. If I don’t let things go, I can easily slip into being overwhelmed which then makes me passive-aggressive in my interactions with them. I was marinated in the womb of passive-aggressive sarcasm, so when I’m not thinking clearly, which I don’t when I’m in the state of overwhelm, it can get bad. If I hold onto a story in my head about something, it just isn’t good for my relationships.
I have to tell you, ever since the movie Frozen came out, “Let it Go” has become a lot more fun. Even writing about letting go, I’m singing the song in my head and smiling.
Today has been a busy day. I did a Facebook Live Heart Wisdom Panel with authors Polly Campbell, Sherry Richert-Belul, and Mango publisher, Brenda Knight. The subject was self-acceptance, which I wrote about yesterday, but what really came to light in the conversation was the importance of a mindful pause. When I think of letting go, I thought about how important that mindful pause is to ask, How important is it? That question opens me up to consider:
- What are the benefits of holding onto this?
- What are the consequences of holding onto this?
- How is it serving me to hold onto this?
- How is it serving my relationships to hold onto this?
- How do I treat myself by not letting go?
- How am I treating others?
- How is holding on serving the love within me?
What can I do now? I can take that mindful pause. In that pause, I can pay attention to my breathing. I can feel how holding onto specific things feels in my body. I can take a moment to look inward honestly and ask those questions I listed above. I can also consider, What are the choices healthiest for me in this situation?
I find by doing this I feel grounded in whatever decision I make. If I feel like I’m going to serve my relationships, community, or humanity at large by not letting something go, I feel even more passionately to take action steps forward—something I CAN do. I also feel grounded enough to see the other tools I have to release what isn’t serving me. One of my favorite tools for that is letter-writing and then letter-burning (safely of course).
For the letter-writing, I write EVERYTHING out, my darkest thoughts included. I get it all out of me and onto paper. Then, I start letting the letter take the turn into the letting go process, whether that be forgiveness, agreeing to disagree, self-acceptance, accepting others for who and where they are, etc. Once I feel the peace come over me, I know I’m done.
For the letter-burning, I pick a very safe place. I say a release prayer to the universe and ask for God’s grace to truly help me let it go and not take it back. Then I burn it, and I imagine all that energy tied to fear, lack, and separation being released. Then, I allow myself to sit and marinate in the energy of love, abundance, and peace for however long it feels good doing it.
By focusing on what I can do now, I make a choice that is best for me in this moment. And really…that’s all we have. The rest is just story —for better or worse.
With Love and Gratitude,