Along the road of self-discovery, I have stumbled across 3 jewels in understanding the law of attraction. I had to go through some very hard lessons to find them, but under all the muck and gruel, there they were; little diamonds. When I first learned about the Law of Attraction, I didn’t understand the POWER my the choices, emotions, thinking, and all the patterns that came with them.

1. Power of Prayers

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Each prayer attracts lessons and/or blessings. How we pray is important to what we will attract. Every inner conversation has the same power as a prayer. Be careful of the energy that is being put in. If we pray from a place of “not enough”, we will create a life that is not enough, and/or be exposed to lessons that give us the opportunity to see that we are enough; life is enough; the world is enough. The lessons will give us the opportunity to change or submit to the messages we are telling ourselves. When we enter prayer with loving energy, we are blessed in some way. The key is we have to stay present to spot the blessings. If we do that, more and more will be brought to us.

When we pray for the people who hurt us, we are sending a love into the darkness. The more loving energy we can send out, the more we invite into our lives. This shows up by noticing that the negative people start to fade away, and they take a back row seat in our lives. When we wish no evil on anyone, no evil energy can penetrate us. When we wish evil and feel hate we are apart of the same energy we are fighting against. It is counterproductive. When we pray with compassion, we are helping to heal the world.

When prayer is out of desperation, because we are in physical, mental, and/or emotional pain it is VERY IMPORTANT to watch our prayers. We are in the midst of a powerful lesson; how we pray matters. We have challenges to overcome. We may ask to be healed, but the healing may be in a different way than we thought about. Part of our purpose might be that we have a physical ailment, emotional and/or mental challenge, or a disease. Our purpose may be about spreading awareness, finding a cure, or overcoming mental anguish around our ailment. We have NO idea! This is where I learned to change my prayers. I started asking for help:

Fulfilling my purpose
Understanding the lesson
Healing my thoughts
Doing the next right thing
Focusing on things to be grateful for
Finding reasons to love myself and others

Changing my prayers in these simple ways has transformed my prayers and the power behind them. Now they are focused on what I truly want to attract to my life.

2. Being Aware of Inner/Outer Dialog

The Power of Can’t

I laugh at myself every time I say can’t. Don’t want to try and/or don’t want to do it is more accurate. Can’t is attracting energy in two different ways:

Using the word and language of can’t establishes limitations on what we CAN do. It sets up an invisible force field on what we will allow and/or attract to our lives. It gives us an excuse not to focus our energy on how to bring the possibility to our lives.
Focusing on the energy of can’t may bring some challenging lessons in what we can do. When people use phrases such as, “I can’t survive this”, “I can’t make this work”, and “I can’t live without…” it also may be asking the Universe to give us a lesson in showing us exactly what we are capable of doing and/or handling. These hurt to go through, but they have been my greatest gifts when I am ready to look at them from a loving perspective. These lessons are about what we want in the bigger picture. If we are asking to be stronger, braver, wiser, and in service to humanity, we need these lessons to show us how.

Avoiding the Thought of Never

When we put out the energy of Never it WILL have a lesson, because we are focusing on a negative energy. When we say, I will never be with a cruel, unhealthy, negative or abusive person, we are focusing on the energy that will bring them to our lives. She/he may present his/herself in a different kind of relationship than they did before, but the relationship will show up if we don’t change the dialog.

Focusing on What We Don’t Want

It is extremely important to focus on what we DO want. If we find ourselves saying, I don’t want… I don’t want him/her to do… I don’t need this in my life. Oh boy, watch out; get ready for a very bumpy road ahead. Sometimes we need to be challenged in order to see what we do want. Be grateful for the lesson, forgive them and yourself, and move on. If we choose to stay in the negative energy, we will repeat the same patterns and lessons until we get it. This can last a lifetime for some people. It is up to us how long we want the same lesson to last. Breaking patterns and attracting loving energy takes practice and a lot of work. Depending on how long we have been embedded in the negative energy, we may feel out of our element for some time, but keep the faith. Every time we hear ourselves saying or focusing on what we don’t want, we have an opportunity to look at it in a new way. We have to find the words and mantras that give power to what we do want.

3. Investing Time in the Right Places

When presented with life’s challenges, we have a choice. We can put our time into the problem or the solution. If we truly want to learn from our circumstances and transform the energy into something better, we HAVE to invest our time wisely. If we are obsessing about the wrongs of others and ourselves, we are not helping anyone. We are attracting more of that energy to our lives.

If we know, we don’t want an abusive person or something negative in our lives, question what that looks like. What does a healthy person like? What do healthy people do? How do they treat others? How do they talk to their parents, friends, co-workers, and family? Really dive in and figure it out. Research healthy relationships if you don’t know what they look like. How do healthy people communicate? How do they express feelings? What love language do they speak? There are plenty of resources out there. This will transform you into becoming a person that another healthy person would be attracted to. We will always attract the energy we are putting out.

We need to invest our time in the energy we want to be attracting to our lives. Here are a few ways I have taken the initiative and invested my time and energy into the blessings I want to attract to my life.

Gratitude lists
A Can collage: This is a jar or can, focusing on the energy of what I CAN do. I cut out words from magazines that described the person I want to be and what I want to contribute to the world. I glued them all over the can inside and out. Then I write myself notes: I need to work on… I am proud of myself for… I want to learn about… I am doing ________ in order to reach my goals.
Vision Board: If we are visual learners it is important to see what our vision is. I cut out pictures of the lifestyle I want to attract. My inner dialog must match my vision if I will be successful in attracting outer goals.
Read, watch, and focus on the subjects that will help me focus on the life I want. I love audiobooks, books, blogs, and positive messages to keep me focused on the energy I want to attract. It would be really easy right now with the bombings, politics, educational systems, prejudices, and hate to focus on the problems, but it doesn’t fix the energy that is creating the problems. I have to face those things with love or I’m contributing to the what I don’t want. Focusing on the negative energy will only create more. I try to figure out how to focus on love to come up with solutions to spread a more loving energy. I only can give what I have inside. I need to make it count!
Lists: I make list of what I want and make sure everything is in the affirmative. If all I know is what I don’t want, I think about what the opposite looks like. The lists help me figure out what healthier choices and thoughts look like and they help me to shift my language and behaviors.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Please check out other articles on FromAlovingPlace.com , and join me on facebook.com/fromalovingplace (click on the red words to get to the sites mentioned). Let’s focus on meeting life’s lessons from a loving place! I hope you will join me on this adventure. Please feel free to like the page on Facebook and send me a message. I would love to hear from you!

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“The unloving person continues to blame bad luck or a series of external factors for their not having a loving relationship. Love can only be attracted by and returned by love.”

-Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way p.204-205

One night, I was lying in my bed, the tears would not stop coming. I kept asking myself: Why do I keep ending up with these guys who treat me like shit? Why do I keep falling for the traps, when I see the red flags flying from a mile away? Why do I keep ignoring what my friends and family already see? After around thirty years of dating, I finally got it. I was getting exactly what I asked for. Who would ask for this? Me. The real question is why?

Even though, I have read plenty of books on the laws of attraction and have seen it work a million times, I somehow overlooked how it worked the same way in my relationships with men. One of the key steps in attracting the things we want in life is to focus on the affirmative. That means stay away from thoughts and statements about what I don’t want. If I say, “I don’t want another addict” my thoughts are lining up with that next addict while I think that very thought. It may be a different type of addict, but guaranteed he will come into my life in some way, shape, or form.

When I didn’t believe in myself, I chose men who didn’t believe in themselves and who didn’t believe in me. They couldn’t, we were together because we both agreed not to believe in ourselves. Neither one of us could give what we didn’t have.

When I didn’t want to look at myself, I chose people who were looking to avoid themselves too. I would assign myself the role of fixing their life, and they would in turn try to fix mine or they would play the child role and let me act more like a parent.

When I was abusing myself physically, emotionally or mentally, I chose partners who would treat me the same way. My personal journey does not include physical abuse in the form of hitting, but in the form of physical self-care, or I should say, lack of care. My most severe abuse to myself was emotional and mental, which is why I projected that out in the majority of my relationships. An amazing thing happened when I changed the abusive thoughts about myself, I stopped attracting people who would reflect them back to me. I was even able to stop the pattern in a relationship that built itself around the abuse. The relationship didn’t last long after that, because as I got healthier our paths no longer connected, and the road split.

If you are anything like me, you’re asking, “OK I get it, but how do I stop doing it?”

These are the steps I took in order to put my thinking right to attract the person I TRULY wanted in my life:

I wrote a list of all the things I wanted in a relationship. I was clear and specific about the partner I was looking for. I only used positive terms. Here are a few examples: Lives a healthy lifestyle, is active, is adventurous, is spontaneous, uses actions to show he cares, respects me, loves my kids, shows up for me.
I became everything on my list for myself. I used the premise of Byron Katie’s “the turn around” to stop projecting what I wanted onto others and “turn it around” to me. I knew that if I wanted it in a partner, I needed to become it for myself first. Once I had my list, the tools were easy to find. I found tons of books on every subject I needed to work on, I watched videos and seminars on-line, I took notes, I attended AL-ANON, I found the right friends, and I opened my eyes to all the signs leading me in the right direction.
I fell in love with myself. It was amazing how this worked. I started playing out my list and living the way I wanted to with a partner. I started to go on more adventures, engage with my kids more, become more active, talk to myself in a loving way, and the list went on. Life became beautiful.
I stopped Looking! Once I became the list, I stopped looking for a man. I wasn’t missing anything in my life. My life was full and wonderful. I was happy, my children were happy, I had no complaints about the way my life looked. This was it, I was content.
I opened my doors. When I first stopped looking, I thought, “This is it! This is what I want, I don’t want a man in my life. I love this freedom!” It took a little while until I opened my doors and said, “OK, if there is a person out there that could fit into my life, I will allow them in”.

Little did I know, I had already put the positive energy out there and would be getting what I asked for in a very surprising way. I had no idea that simple request for information about fishing would turn into my best adventure yet. My relationship now is exactly what I TRULY want. I respect myself, and he respects me. I take care of myself, and he takes care of himself and we work as team to take care of each other. I still feel free to be exactly who I am.

I recently went back to the list I wrote almost three years ago, and I am completely amazed how far I have come. It is possible! Invest the time in yourself and watch the miracles happen.

If this post helped you, check out my full blog: From A Loving Place. Each post offers the tools I used to transform my life. Take what feels right, and leave the rest behind. Have a transformative day!

Photo Credit: Rachael Wolff

Tag: Laws of attraction

3 Powerful Lessons I learned about the Law of Attraction

1. Power of Prayers