90-Day A Better Me Series
Part II: A Journey of Perspective
What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation
Day 39: Welcoming the Unknown
“Uncertainty is the essence of life, and it fuels opportunity.”
Why focus on happily ever after? That adds a lot of pressure and expectations to life, love, work, family, and friends. We can’t appreciate the moment we’re in if we always have one foot in a place we think we should and/or could be. Do we think that future place is a place we deserve to be? If we aren’t there—there is a reason. We don’t deserve to be anywhere we’re not. If we are in the midst of a challenge, that is exactly where we are supposed to learn. That is our classroom. We can’t get to the future we think we deserve if we don’t believe and act like we deserve it in the moment we are in. Once we get comfortable with accepting that the future is unknown, we get the space to make better choices on what we are doing right now.
Making choices that contribute to the energy that we want to see in ourselves, our futures, and in the world changes our reality. It’s different then attaching to the unknown future, because focusing on the energy focuses us on the journey. We begin to welcome the unknown because of the energy we know we are feeding into it. We know that what comes is because of the energy we are putting out, so what we really feel inside comes to life. If we need to learn from a spot of darkness we carry, we will get a lesson that shows it to us. If we feel the light within us permeating into our current moment, we bring that energy into the unknown. That has the power to manifest things beyond what our human minds can comprehend—MIRACLES!
One of my favorite expressions is “I plan, God laughs.” I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve had my focus on the perfect future. I thought I just knew what my future would look like. I had no idea the biggest blessings in my life were the things that didn’t go as planned. I had so much to learn from every moment I would have chosen to miss. Even surviving attempted suicide, rape, abuse, and some lessons that involved the people I love most were necessary for my life to be where it is today. I much rather be creating a life from the energy I have now than what I would have created if I stuck to the energy I was in then.
Accepting the unknown is scary when you are lost in the energy of fear, if we can’t accept the unknown—We miss the opportunity to embrace the unknown and keep our focus on the energy we are putting into it. When we can accept the past, become secure in the present, and welcome the unknown—We find peace and stability. We let go of the chaos and put energy into ourselves and the world that we actually want to be there.
Years ago when I started reading transformational books, I would read things like I’m writing and think they were telling me NOT to have dark feelings about my past, my present, and my future. I would feel like a failure when I felt my dark feelings come up. Then I would give up on the process because I felt like I was too weak to live the way these authors were telling me it’s possible to live. In the act of trying to find peace I found more chaos. That is why in this series I try to make sure I repeat, messages to encourage you FEEL, FEEL, FEEL! Feel all the feelings that come through you whether they have dark or light in them. Avoiding, suppressing, and numbing feelings keeps us in the dark and we forget to be grateful for the light.
Acknowledging feelings, allowing them to come up, feeling through them, and processing them makes it so we release the dark energy of them, so they don’t build up toxic blocks in our bodies. It helps us see, appreciate, and sustain light energy too. By really looking at them and taking responsibility for them keeps us from taking our dark feelings out on others and helps us to spread our light. Don’t purge your dark feelings all over others. The ones that commiserate with you are actually increasing the dark energy around you. Now if you have friends that you can talk to that will help you process and take personal responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions, that brings light to the dark. If you don’t have that, you will need to depend on your own light (Journaling) coming through or hire someone who will help shine light on your situation. I will talk more about all that in Part III. For now just know, I’m not telling you not to feel dark feelings. They are apart of you and they have plenty to teach you and help you grow. Your light feelings need to be acknowledged in order to actively spread them with intent. The key is to look at all the feelings that come through us.
I will use an example of relationship. This can be any kind of relationship intimate partner, family member, friend, and/or co-worker. Let’s say when we are with this person we judge the moment we are in on the basis of what we think the situation will look like in the future. That judgment creates us to act in fear, which creates expectations, disappointments, anger, resentment, and chaos. If we don’t look at the feelings that are coming up inside of us, we take out all these feelings on them. The energy we put out comes back to us and their reactions reflect our own future fears about the situation. This creates a toxic cycle between all the parties involved. Then you talk to other people and the dark toxic energy spreads.
If we go back, feel the fear and judgment coming up, step back to take the time to process the feelings. We will realize that those feelings are our responsibility to clean up. We ask ourselves why are these feelings coming up right now? What about this situation is really scaring me? What energy am I putting into this situation? We then have taken our dark feelings and learned from them because we became responsible for them. If we were stuck playing the “What if” game about the future, we could slow ourselves down and say what is happening right now? Where are my feelings coming from? Am I reacting to someone else’s dark feelings? Am I not taking responsibility for my self-care by being in this relationship? How can I take care of myself in this situation? These are all forms of processing that will help get our fears out of the future and into the current moment. We can change any future by the energy we give it. Our peace, joy, contentment, and happiness don’t depend on what other people are doing. They depend on our perceptions of the moment, what we are doing, and what energy we are putting into it. We can feed the darkness or feed the light. When we feed the light we can welcome the unknown because we know it will offer us plenty of opportunities to shine our light and learn from our dark. We find clarity in processing our feelings. We can see where we have made other people responsible for our lives, and then take that power back by taking charge of our choices to feel, think, act, and react. We become fully empowered to change the trajectory of our lives.
Welcome the unknown and give yourself the power to experience life better than you ever knew was possible.
Just for Today
What thoughts do you have about the future that are keeping you from embracing the unknown? What energy are you putting into your future thoughts? What are some knew thoughts that could help you to focus more on the energy you are putting into the future instead of pretending you can predict it?
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2019
Check out Today’s Letter from A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 39 – Getting Comfortable With the Unknown