Do You REALLY Want to Live Better?

7 Steps to Living Better NOW

1. Living Better Doesn’t Happen in the Future

Living better happens right now in this very moment. It doesn’t start this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow. If you are not willing to make a change right now, your story of wanting without getting will continue. Right now, you can write three things you are grateful for. Right now, you can change a thought that you don’t like. Right now, you can choose to take a walk, lift weights, eat better, or dance. Right now, you can improve your mindset. Right now, you can make a list of all the things you do right. OH— You don’t have time? Right now, you can take three long breaths in and exhale them completely. We have time to do something better in each moment we are given. We have to make the conscious choice to make the most of the moment. 

2. Take Control of Your Story

We can choose to believe the things that make us feel worse, or we can choose to believe the things that make us feel better. We weave our stories based on our mindset not on the people, events, and/or situations we are in. The same event can happen to ten different people and each person will process the event differently. Even the most brutal situations like the Holocaust can create some to rise and others to sink. It’s not about the events that happened, it’s about the mindset of the people who survived. I always think of the AMAZING Elie Wiesel, author of Night and Viktor E. Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning. They found meaning in the madness, which led them to lead an amazing lives after their experiences during the Holocaust.  They took control of their stories. We all have that power. For me, I didn’t want any of the trauma I experienced to be a crutch. I needed to find meaning in my madness. Everything got better when I took back control of my story and embraced the concept that my experiences were all necessary for me to live my best life. If we are the victims of our own stories, we are living within our own prisons. 

3. Start the Work Within

Nothing outside of you will fix an inside problem. If you don’t do the inside work, all you are doing is wasting time, money, and energy. Things might feel better for short periods of time, but the results you are searching for won’t stick around if you don’t change what is going on inside. If you don’t look at the person you are and know that you are loyal to what’s in your best interests, trustworthy of your own moral code, loving to the person looking back at you in the mirror, and honest about who you are and want to be—You will never find it outside of yourself. NO person, place, or thing, can MAKE you feel complete except for the person in the mirror. Some have argued to me about their spiritual lives, but if we don’t know how to love ourselves completely, we can’t experience the love that the Universe is offering. When we love ourselves, our connection to our spiritual path strengthens beyond the imaginable. The work starts by committing to love the person you are. It took me writing three things I like/ love about myself for 35 days in order for me to truly embrace the person I am. It will take some shorter periods and others longer, but what is important is to commit to the process. Being cruel to yourself doesn’t get you anywhere. When we self-abuse we feed our stories of why we can’t have the life we want and or own victimhood. Make sure you are treating yourself with the love and respect that you deserve.

4. Be Conscious of the Energy that YOU are Inviting In

We have to invite energy in order to let it effect our lives. This is why someone isn’t capable of making us happy or sad. We choose to invite the energy of those feelings in. The power is in our hands. I know this can be challenging, and I’m the last to tell you that I do this perfectly. It’s okay, because I’m aware and accountable when I’m choosing to experience different energies. When my kids aren’t listening to what I’m telling them to do, they are talking back, and/or screaming at friends during video games, I have lots of choices about the energy I’m going to invite in. I know the calmer I am, the more effective I am. In order to be the best communicator, I have to choose the energy I invite in VERY consciously. I won’t remain calm if I let my hormonal teens’ actions dictate my energy. Just like, my partner can do something to show his love to me, and if I don’t choose to feel the energy of his love, I could spin it into something that stirs my energy in the opposite direction. What energy are you inviting in? When you feel something you like and/or don’t like it’s important to be conscious that you have chosen to engage with whatever energy you are feeling. You have more power than you know. When you become conscious of this, life gets better, because you know you can re-write a piece of your story and the energy you invite in will shift along with it. 

5. Conscious Breaths

In order to keep ourselves present and focused on living better now, we have to stay conscious. One of the easiest ways to do this is by remember to breathe consciously by inhaling to the count of ten, then exhaling to the count of ten for a minimum of three cycles. REMEMBER TO EXHALE! When we stress and/or feel pain, we tend to hold our breath. This limits our oxygen, so you can imagine the effects on our entire system. Our brains need oxygen to work at their greatest capacity, so BREATHE!! Just taking the time to consciously breathe can help you find the answers you need in any given situation. Doing this keeps us from reacting from our old stories and gives us time to create a new and better ones. When we respond to life’s challenges from that place, we live better. 

6. Take Action

You are living in the moment, taking control of your story, working within, inviting in energy consciously, and breathing fully. What better time than right now to take action? What are you going to do right now to live better? 

7. Write it Down

Make the time to write down your new story. This doesn’t have to be complicated or take you hours, it is just about taking time to commit to the new story you are writing for your life. You can put a notebook in your bag, write lists on your phone (YES, there are apps for that), create a file on your computer and/or tablet, have a notebook on your nightstand (I do), etc. Just make the time. We can always find time for what’s important to us. If we want to live better, we have to change the old patterns and excuses that keep us from doing it.  Here are a few examples of what writing it down can look like:

  • A daily gratitude list—gratitude is a story of abundance. 
  • A daily intention list—Gives you goals to help guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day.
  • A daily accomplishment list—documenting how you chose to make your life better today builds on the positive impact of your new story.
  • Write out today’s story—Choose positive perspectives to write out your daily story. Even if you may not have reacted the way you wanted to in the moment: What did you learn from reacting that way? If something like that happened again, what are some positive responses?

You can do one, or do them all. Just commit to what feels right. There is no place for blaming others or self-blaming here. We simply are taking responsibility for the lives we want to live and doing it to the best of our ability in the moment. When we don’t do it in a way that aligns with living better, we take responsibility and learn from it. If we document these things, we have less chance of needing to repeat the lessons. 

I hope you choose to live better now. This is a one step at a time process. It all happens in the moment of Now. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2019 (You can follow me on Facebook)

Are you struggling with digging down to the root of what is keeping you from living better now? Check out my 90-Day A Better Me Series (click the title for the link). The series is FREE and there are no sign-up required. Just sit, read, and take your next step to better living. 

If you’re a woman and you like what you read on this site, check out my new book available for pre-order HERE

Whatever you choose to do today, be kind to yourself. You deserve love and respect. Give it to yourself!

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 70 – Doing What We Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 70: Doing What We Love

“Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.”

-Lana Del Ray

We’ve reached a point where it’s not enough to KNOW what we love doing. Now, we need to do what we love. There is no more room for excuses why we aren’t taking steps towards doing what we love. The only reason we don’t is because we don’t love ourselves enough to experience the joy of it. Taking the steps is the key to having the ability to do what we love. Without taking steps, we will never get there. I can say I love doing this or that all day long, but until I do something about it, it will be the cause for the feeling of lack. That feeling of lack will permeate through everything I do and don’t do. That feeling of lack takes our energy down and we start manifesting and attracting things that will bring us more feelings of lack. THAT IS NOT WHAT WE WANT TO BE DOING!!

“Let’s do what we love and do a lot of it.”

-Marc Jacobs

If we want to manifest and attract abundance in our lives we have to be in the energy of abundance. We have to do the work. The work is to do what we love with energy of fulfillment, joy, and love. Why do we make this so hard? If we don’t love ourselves, and I mean really love ourselves, we sabotage any level of love that goes above what we feel for ourselves. That’s why I talked yesterday about loving our bodies and actively showing our bodies they are valued. They are the structure of our internal homes, yet many of us don’t take the time to care and love the vessel that is carrying us through this life. Instead, we focus on the lack of what it does or doesn’t do and the lack of what it doesn’t look like or feel like…this all ties into how our energy affects what we are attracting to our lives.

Why not love what we do and do what we love? What do we have to lose by investing some of our time taking steps to doing what we love? This isn’t just about work—This is about life! We have to start taking steps somewhere, and once we do all the rest begins to fall into place with the energy we are aligning ourselves with. Start doing what you love today! Don’t wait to take a step tomorrow.

“Believe in yourself, listen to your gut, and do what you love.”

-Dylan Lauren

What CAN YOU DO TODAY THAT WILL START CONTRIBUTING TO THE ENERGY OF DOING WHAT YOU LOVE?

If you love hiking—Start walking! Take walks daily. Find local areas to walk in nature. Don’t be surprised when hiking shoes come into your life, and the dream hiking trip falls into your lap. This is what happens when we start taking the steps.

If you love art—Start watching how-to videos EVERYDAY and practicing your skills! Don’t be surprised if one day someone offers to buy your work or you have your own spot in an art show. This is what happens when we start doing the work.

If you love to write—Start writing EVERYDAY! You can write in a journal, a blog, a book, social media posts, etc. Keep writing, study techniques, and reading other people’s writings who you admire. Don’t be surprised when opportunities to write come to your door. You’re attracting this to your life by the energy you’re putting out.

If you love helping others—Start volunteering your time EVERYDAY to help others in some way! If you are doing this from a pure place of love, not of trying to win points, or thinking it’s what you should be doing, you will start attracting people who truly want help to get past the position they are in right now. You will be helping, without enabling and the results will keep the love in your heart full. Don’t be surprised when all kinds of blessings come to your life for being in this place.

If you love being a parent—Do things EVERYDAY that support this love! Be present and see how the energy shifts and expands through your home. Your kids will feel that energy of love and it will permeate into what they do too. Don’t be surprised if parenting becomes a lot easier all because of where your head is.

If you love working numbers—Push yourself daily on number problems to solve! You can find all you need and more on the Intranet. Your skills start increasing and problem-solving becomes even more fun as you work the numbers. Don’t be surprised when opportunities start coming your way.

If you love acting—Start running lines, doing the exercises, and honing your craft DAILY! Don’t be surprised when the opportunity shows up with an opportunity to act for others.

If you love cooking—Spend time learning techniques and cooking DAILY. There is nothing we can’t learn today in this day and age. Everything we want to know is only a few finger strokes away. Don’t be surprised when more people start acknowledging your food and giving you opportunities to spread your love for cooking.

WHAT ACTION STEPS ARE YOU CHOOSING TO TAKE TODAY?

STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE AND START DOING IT! Doing what you love might not lead to a paying gig, but it will improve your life in so many ways because you are taking the time to DO what you love. You will attract blessings beyond what you can even imagine. The way you approach the job you do will change even if your job title doesn’t. Eventually if you stick with the energy of doing what you love, you will start attracting job opportunities that will help you to grow and expand your love. It really is a truly AMAZING process to watch how this works in people’s lives.

So many amazing things have happened in my life once I started putting my whole heart into doing what I love. Once you start taking the steps, miracles start unfolding in front of your eyes. I feel complete AWE when I can see this energy working in my life and the lives of others. It gives me goose bumps EVERY time I hear someone tell me stories of how this has worked in their lives.  It will work for anyone who does the work to puts their energy in the place of love and abundance.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 70 – Doing What I Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 39 – Welcoming the Unknown

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 39: Welcoming the Unknown

“Uncertainty is the essence of life, and it fuels opportunity.”

-Tina Seelig

Why focus on happily ever after? That adds a lot of pressure and expectations to life, love, work, family, and friends. We can’t appreciate the moment we’re in if we always have one foot in a place we think we should and/or could be. Do we think that future place is a place we deserve to be? If we aren’t there—there is a reason. We don’t deserve to be anywhere we’re not. If we are in the midst of a challenge, that is exactly where we are supposed to learn. That is our classroom. We can’t get to the future we think we deserve if we don’t believe and act like we deserve it in the moment we are in. Once we get comfortable with accepting that the future is unknown, we get the space to make better choices on what we are doing right now.

Making choices that contribute to the energy that we want to see in ourselves, our futures, and in the world changes our reality. It’s different then attaching to the unknown future, because focusing on the energy focuses us on the journey. We begin to welcome the unknown because of the energy we know we are feeding into it. We know that what comes is because of the energy we are putting out, so what we really feel inside comes to life. If we need to learn from a spot of darkness we carry, we will get a lesson that shows it to us. If we feel the light within us permeating into our current moment, we bring that energy into the unknown. That has the power to manifest things beyond what our human minds can comprehend—MIRACLES!

One of my favorite expressions is “I plan, God laughs.” I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve had my focus on the perfect future. I thought I just knew what my future would look like. I had no idea the biggest blessings in my life were the things that didn’t go as planned. I had so much to learn from every moment I would have chosen to miss. Even surviving attempted suicide, rape, abuse, and some lessons that involved the people I love most were necessary for my life to be where it is today. I much rather be creating a life from the energy I have now than what I would have created if I stuck to the energy I was in then.

Accepting the unknown is scary when you are lost in the energy of fear, if we can’t accept the unknown—We miss the opportunity to embrace the unknown and keep our focus on the energy we are putting into it. When we can accept the past, become secure in the present, and welcome the unknown—We find peace and stability. We let go of the chaos and put energy into ourselves and the world that we actually want to be there.

Years ago when I started reading transformational books, I would read things like I’m writing and think they were telling me NOT to have dark feelings about my past, my present, and my future. I would feel like a failure when I felt my dark feelings come up. Then I would give up on the process because I felt like I was too weak to live the way these authors were telling me it’s possible to live. In the act of trying to find peace I found more chaos. That is why in this series I try to make sure I repeat, messages to encourage you FEEL, FEEL, FEEL! Feel all the feelings that come through you whether they have dark or light in them. Avoiding, suppressing, and numbing feelings keeps us in the dark and we forget to be grateful for the light.

Acknowledging feelings, allowing them to come up, feeling through them, and processing them makes it so we release the dark energy of them, so they don’t build up toxic blocks in our bodies. It helps us see, appreciate, and sustain light energy too. By really looking at them and taking responsibility for them keeps us from taking our dark feelings out on others and helps us to spread our light. Don’t purge your dark feelings all over others. The ones that commiserate with you are actually increasing the dark energy around you. Now if you have friends that you can talk to that will help you process and take personal responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions, that brings light to the dark. If you don’t have that, you will need to depend on your own light (Journaling) coming through or hire someone who will help shine light on your situation. I will talk more about all that in Part III. For now just know, I’m not telling you not to feel dark feelings. They are apart of you and they have plenty to teach you and help you grow. Your light feelings need to be acknowledged in order to actively spread them with intent. The key is to look at all the feelings that come through us.

I will use an example of relationship. This can be any kind of relationship intimate partner, family member, friend, and/or co-worker. Let’s say when we are with this person we judge the moment we are in on the basis of what we think the situation will look like in the future. That judgment creates us to act in fear, which creates expectations, disappointments, anger, resentment, and chaos. If we don’t look at the feelings that are coming up inside of us, we take out all these feelings on them. The energy we put out comes back to us and their reactions reflect our own future fears about the situation. This creates a toxic cycle between all the parties involved. Then you talk to other people and the dark toxic energy spreads.

If we go back, feel the fear and judgment coming up, step back to take the time to process the feelings. We will realize that those feelings are our responsibility to clean up. We ask ourselves why are these feelings coming up right now? What about this situation is really scaring me? What energy am I putting into this situation? We then have taken our dark feelings and learned from them because we became responsible for them. If we were stuck playing the “What if” game about the future, we could slow ourselves down and say what is happening right now? Where are my feelings coming from? Am I reacting to someone else’s dark feelings? Am I not taking responsibility for my self-care by being in this relationship? How can I take care of myself in this situation? These are all forms of processing that will help get our fears out of the future and into the current moment. We can change any future by the energy we give it. Our peace, joy, contentment, and happiness don’t depend on what other people are doing. They depend on our perceptions of the moment, what we are doing, and what energy we are putting into it. We can feed the darkness or feed the light. When we feed the light we can welcome the unknown because we know it will offer us plenty of opportunities to shine our light and learn from our dark. We find clarity in processing our feelings. We can see where we have made other people responsible for our lives, and then take that power back by taking charge of our choices to feel, think, act, and react. We become fully empowered to change the trajectory of our lives.

Welcome the unknown and give yourself the power to experience life better than you ever knew was possible.

Just for Today

What thoughts do you have about the future that are keeping you from embracing the unknown? What energy are you putting into your future thoughts? What are some knew thoughts that could help you to focus more on the energy you are putting into the future instead of pretending you can predict it?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Check out Today’s Letter from A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 39 – Getting Comfortable With the Unknown