Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #165

I’m grateful for my consideration of other perspectives. I honestly never knew how much of a gift this was until now. I keep watching people not willing to listen to each other and insist on their own way, which by my definition of love, is not love. So when we are not willing to listen, we are just feeding our own fear of the other. Just another way to feed the energy of fear, lack, and separation. We can do this in our relationships and our judgments of whoever we determine the OTHER is. If we think we are better or less than that OTHER, we disempower ourselves.

I choose to live in the energy of love, abundance, and peace as much as possible. That is where my perspectives of belief come from. I’ve read, heard, and listened to countless people express their perspectives from a place of fear, lack, and separation and love, abundance, and peace. The one thing that can feed both energy groups is feeling HEARD and understood. This DOES NOT mean we will agree. Once I’ve listened to someone, I get the opportunity to ask questions and insight critical thinking. I get the opportunity to share my perspectives. If they choose to attack me for my perspectives, I have the opportunity to call on my healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries and considering other perspectives go hand in hand for me.

By considering other people’s perspectives, I will look at where they are getting their information. Is it media (perspectives, agenda, facts), courts (facts), public records (facts), conspiracy theorists (perspectives), politicians (perspectives & agenda), direct source (perspective), gossip (misinformation-just imagine the childhood game telephone), religious beliefs (personal perspective that differs from person to person even in the same organizations/groups), science (facts in the moment, agenda, and ever-changing with new information), etc.? I have to use critical thinking. I have to stay current with new science, because the field moves fast. This is why in school we weren’t allowed to use any research that was beyond five years old. I also learned that in some research, results can be skewed due to agenda and method. If we are aligned with fear, lack, and separation, our beliefs are often pigeon-holed to specific sources. I have to remember there is always a human and a human’s perspective coming from a place of love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation behind any information being spread, bought into, and absorbed. In order for me to stay aligned, I HAVE to listen to the information that I’m taking in.

Aligning with love, abundance, and peace allows me to keep my mind open, but it is not a veil of la la and everything is beautiful all the time. Aligning with love, abundance, and peace means keeping a clear head by making sure my energy field can’t be manipulated by people spewing hate agenda, fear agenda, divide agenda, and victim agenda. These agendas keep me prisoner. I want to make sure I remain free from the evil people in this world who use innocent people to do their bidding. There are plenty of social science experiments that show how good people will do bad things. Staying aligned with love, abundance, and peace keeps me protected from going along with agendas that expand the energy of fear, lack, and separation in the world. This is why I have to consider individual’s perspectives carefully.

Side note: Please, don’t misunderstand me, I’m not talking about someone who is unleashing their energy out on me as a form of abuse or harassment. Healthy boundaries are important to be able to know when my listening will benefit the greater good. I will be talking about healthy boundaries on day #166.

Today, I commit to considering other people’s perspectives. Here is some of the things I ask myself when I’m considering other people’s perspectives:

  • Is the person speaking wanting me to align with love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation?
  • Does the person speaking have an agenda to have power over the way I think?
  • How is my body reacting to what I’m hearing?
  • How many people or institutions do I have to believe or not to believe to go along with their perspective?
  • Is the person I’m listening to take accountability and responsibility for what is theirs or do they shift blame?
  • Does the person want me to put them on a pedestal (RED FLAG)?
  • Do they have public record, court, or scientific proof to go along with their perspective (shown, not spoken)?
  • Is this person engaging in gossip to spread their information?
  • Am I feeling aligned with love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation while engaging with this person? WHY?
  • What are other perspectives within their group saying (the one’s that don’t agree)?
  • Does the person have compassion, empathy, and forgiveness or do they push victim mentality, revenge, and us against them mindsets?
  • Is the person open or close-minded?
  • Is the person willing to listen and/or consider other perspectives of thought?
  • Does this person want me to hate a group of people? How does me hating the group of people give them power and create me to feel separate, divided, or victimized?
  • Is the person wanting me to focus on problems (fear, lack, and/or separation) or solutions (abundance- considering choices and options)?

If you are going to do this for yourself, make sure you have your definitions of fear, lack, and separation and love, abundance, and peace in front of you, but if your perspective of these definitions is skewed, so will how you perceive anything you hear. It’s important to be in a peaceful place and see how your body reacts to the definitions. If you’ve been following along on this journey, I’ve already given you tools to do this.

These questions may seem like a lot in the beginning, but they all become very natural. I use these practices every day. Considering perspectives keeps my critical thinking mind working. Some of the places beyond my personal relationships, I started realizing doing this was so important in considering politics, media, and religion. The group itself isn’t bad or good. The people within the group can be aligned with love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation. Knowing the difference is essential for me to know if I align with a person’s energy or not. A person who is aligned with fear, lack, and separation to the point of a psychosis like Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Antisocial Personality disorder—that person can use any venue to manipulate, abuse, and harass people because their personal agenda of power and control.

Example: If I believe that all media, politicians, or religion is bad, I’m living in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, because I refuse to see the humanity in the people within the group/field. I just need to use my critical thinking. I know that I’m looking for specific characteristics, which is one of the many reasons that I like studying people, because I don’t want to give my power away like I have before. In religion, I would see how some of the leaders would use shame tactics (fear, lack, and separation) and others would use love and compassion (love, abundance, and peace) to get their congregation to follow them. They could be from the same overall group, but the person leading took different approaches to how they interpreted and preached.

Years ago in the US, political parties and power grabs for position within a party became so based in fear, lack, and separation that I had a very hard time understanding where candidates actually stood. I didn’t understand how they could say such hateful things, then say, okay now let’s come together. To me, that is like my best friend telling me that she is being abused by her partner, then making up and telling me that I can trust him again…REALLY?! This is how adults leading our country are behaving. There are a lot of people behind a campaign, it is not just the candidate. So, I learned to dig deeper. I know the other side has an agenda for me not to like the other candidate, so I’m not going to go to them to determine what I believe about them. I dig into public records, court records, and voting history. I look for words that came out of their own mouths, and what people who have worked, lived, or been in close contact with them say about them. What I found is that individuals on both sides lie and/or choose perspectives of fear, lack, and separation. If a campaign is trying to get me to HATE a person, group, or side…I have to look at the agenda behind why they want me to hate them. My experiences of being abused by a narcissist and studying the disorder is that it has made me believe in actions over words for trust, and when words are used to hate, demean, belittle, abuse, hurt, incite violence, separate, or create victimization, I know that person is wanting me to align with fear, lack, and separation over me to gain control over may thoughts and actions. Many campaigns on both sides have used fear-based tactics.

Side note: For full transparency, I’m an independent voter who votes for the person I feel is most willing to work with the other party, because I believe in “United we stand, divided we fall.” These are my perspectives based on how I choose to live my life. When I sided with a particular party, I noticed that I narrowed my view on what I was willing to look at and hear. I felt like I got swayed too easy when I did that. So for me, it was right for me to take the stance that I did. I actually enjoy researching both sides. This election more than usual. Because of the political climate, there were tons of different very interesting perspectives out there. There were more people looking for more bipartisan politics (i.e. country over party perspectives). For someone who studies people and how their minds work, it was very eye-opening for me to see how people got to where they did. Some of the testimonials from these groups came from thoughtful critical thinking based on a unity perspective. Some came from fear/revenge mindsets, which is a given in today’s climate. Some were people really struggling to prioritize character vs. policy. Many people in these groups fell into this grey area of perspectives that I hadn’t heard much of especially since politics had become so polarized.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #75

I’m grateful my perspective is my choice. I used to give my power away by when I would forget that I had the power to interpret a situation whatever way I wanted to. I feel, think, believe, and act according to the perspectives I’m buying into. If I want to live from a loving place and align my energy with love, abundance, and peace, I choose perspectives to keep me in that place. When I fall short, I question the story that is playing in my mind. The beautiful thing is I can change the story I’m telling myself at any point. When I focus on the fact that my perspective is my choice, I feel empowered to change what isn’t working and celebrate what is. I get sent helpers who show me how to do it better, and I keep growing. I absolutely love the power of perspective!

Today, I choose perspectives that align with life I want. If you don’t like where your mind is taking you, write a new story. I love doing this. I actually write out the story I want to be working through my mind instead of the one that is causing me stress, pain, or anxiety. I’m a mom of two teens. You better believe I can get myself caught up in stories that don’t align with love, abundance, and peace sometimes. I can catch myself sometimes right before, during, or after a story starts playing in my head. Then I remember, my perspective is my choice. I can keep telling myself a story that is painful and aligns me with fear, lack, and separation, or I can CHOOSE differently. Sometimes I need to really work at finding a healthier perspective, and other times just reminding myself that I’m creating the story is enough to shift my thinking. What once may have caused me months or years or painful thoughts is now minutes, hours, or days. When we take our power back, we re-write our story.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Find out about The Power of One Virtual Conference: You Create Reality Conference I will be speaking at on Oct 23-24, 2020. Use the promo code #UCreateReality/Rachael and get a 10% discount, and if you use that code and let me know you are coming, I will have a special gift for you after the conference. Go to: https://www.icreateleadership.org for details.

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #19

In order to align ourselves with love, abundance, and peace we have to stop taking what other people say and do personally. If their energy is aligned with fear, lack, and separation, that is what they will project onto whoever will listen and/or align with their energy. My mom has been telling me, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you” since I was thirteen years old. What people think of us and others is based on what beliefs (perspectives of truth) they are attaching to within themselves and the SAME is true for us. We have choices in how we respond to others through acquiring new ways to look at things and that is something to be VERY grateful for.

I have a choice to internalize what someone says, or I can be grateful that I can come up with other ways to look at it that trigger my compassion. The things I choose don’t have to be true for someone else, I’m only responsible and accountable for how my thoughts make me feel and what energy I project out. If it helps me feel better by not taking it personally and seeing other possibilities that help me to align me with love, abundance, and peace—I’m okay with that. I’m grateful for my choice Not to take others personally by seeing seeing these options in perspectives instead:

  • Others are only every projecting what is inside them.
  • Someone who says hurtful things to others is really saying those things to themselves (They are their own mirror).
  • Some people who are supporting abusive people or are abusive see abuse as normal, so they don’t even see what they or another person are doing doing as abusive. Possibly because they have been abusing themselves on an unconscious level or they have suppressed verbal, mental, emotional or physical abuse from someone else it’s not my job to CHANGE them, just be aware that I don’t have to align or agree with any energy I don’t want to be apart of and make the healthiest choice for me and my energy.

Today’s challenge is one I love doing as I scroll social media looking at posts and comments. I choose to see what anyone is saying and doing as a projection of what is going on inside of them.I love figuring out if a person is coming from a place of love, abundance, and peace OR fear, lack, and separation. Focusing my energy on seeing through this lens also helps me to look at what I’m saying and doing more clearly.

If someone in my family or any of my other relationships interacts with me in any other way than loving, respectful, and considerate, I take my ego out of it (making how they are acting about me), and try to ask questions that help me to see what is going on inside of them. I find questions are so much more productive than any statements I make, not saying I don’t do it sometimes (LOL). I find that making statements doesn’t tend to get me to the heart of the issue, and it also doesn’t help the person I care about figure out why they are projecting their energy of fear, lack, and separation onto me. I really hope you will try today’s challenge and see what a difference it makes in your energy. I get a natural high when I do it, which is how I know my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace.

With Love, Gratitude, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Find out more about Letters from A Better Me here:

Available in audiobook, cd, ebook, and paperback

#PerspectiveChallenge: I Can’t Stand When People Use the Word…

PERSPECTIVE: I CAN’T STAND WHEN PEOPLE USE THE WORD…

Our attachment to words can create a lot of conflict in our lives, and often times when other people use the words that we HATE they aren’t using them in the same way as we are interpreting them. I’m amazed at the amount of verbal attacks that happen over the use of words, and it gets even more complicated when we think about some of the words that people hate, empower others. This can make communication quite the challenge. 

What words get under your skin?

What words have a negative impact on you but a positive impact on someone else? 

If a word has a negative impact on the way you feel, what you think, how you act, and or react towards others, you are giving the word power over you. Do you really want a word that someone else uses to create stress in your world? The words others use reflect their reality. Knowing our own trigger words can help us to not give them power over us. When we hold ourselves accountable and responsible for the energy we exude, we start changing how we let things get to us.

There are ways we can communicate with others without creating a war with words. If we tell people how a word makes us feel, they may explain to us how they actually meant it. We can also simply ask them, “Why did you chose to use that word?” When we approach a situation with curiosity instead of judgment, we diffuse the situation and the power it has over us. If you don’t like their perspective of truth, you don’t have to live by it, but creating more negativity around a word, will affect YOUR energy, so be conscious of what you want to put out into the world. You have to ask yourself— Is another person’s use of words worth you losing your peace?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Take a word you have a negative attachment to and come up with three different thoughts about the word that take away the power it has over you. You will be amazed at how well this works the next time the word comes up in conversation.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Great News!

Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Transforms the World is now available on Audiobook (click for link).

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 84 -Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of Our Internal Homes

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 84: Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of Our Internal Homes

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

-Anais Nin

Once we bring awareness to our darkness and take responsibility for it, we can shine light on any toxic energy hidden within the walls of our internal homes. On Day 83, I gave “6 Steps to Transforming the Darkness within Our Internal Homes”.    Darkness will show up, because we all have dark corners and shadows there to teach us on our journeys. We learn so much from the darkness within us. Yesterday, I talked about cleaning up the toxic energy and build-up that the darkness exposes when we decide to turn our lights on in the dark rooms. Today, we are expanding on that concept to focus on how to keep the toxic energy out of Internal homes. This isn’t a boot camp, 90-day, 6-month, and/or yearlong submersion program. There is no short-term fix for a lifelong learning process.

10 Steps to Keeping Toxic Energy Out of Your Internal Home

  1. STAY PRESENT! The toxic seed can only be planted, grow, and spread if you get stuck in your dark stories of the past and a fear-filled unknown future. When you get out of your fear-based stories, you don’t germinate the seed. You can stop it at the source when it gets handed to you.
  2. Stay AWARE! If you spot darkness within yourself, work through it. Do NOT run away or numb (addiction) it. Those methods turn darkness into toxic energy. Instead of learning and expanding, you avoid and shrink. If you are blaming, shaming, or judging someone else for your darkness—You still have work to do! That toxic energy will spread if you don’t shine light on it.
  3. CHECK-IN WITH YOUR PERSPECTIVES OF TRUTH. Make sure they are aligned with the light within you. A great intention is to shine your light on any darkness inside of you.
  4. KEEP DOING THE WORK! Your self-care regimen (Day 73) is an essential piece for ensuring that you don’t allow toxic energy into your internal home to fester, grow, and spread.
  5. KEEP YOUR LIGHT ON! Like mold, toxic energy grows in the dark hidden walls within your home. Keeping your light on means you are using the tools and techniques you’ve learned along the way to spot sources where there are leaks that can cause a build-up. Make sure you know which tools to use to help you keep your light on (i.e. prayer, tapping, meditation, worship, yoga, dance, writing, swimming, nature exploration, etc.). Only you can know which tools work best for you to help you keep your light on at all times. You have to truly connect and align with your actions or your light dims.
  6. SHINE BRIGHT! Keep your light in the energy of gratitude. Gratitude’s light energy is vast and expansive. It is the light of abundance. When you operate from a place of gratitude, you are running on a full tank. Your light will guide you and keep you focused on the best you have to offer the world.
  7. LIVE FROM A LOVING PLACE. When you live your life from a loving place both internally and externally your darkness will stay your teacher, but it won’t grow into toxic energy. Your love will simply dry out the toxic seed so that it’s purified.
  8. DO YOUR BEST! You are here to learn. You will be the teacher and/or the student many times over in this life. You will be given some lessons that were inspired by the light and others that have to be learned through your darkness. If you learn the lesson, you don’t have to repeat it. If there are deeper lessons to hit, just keep going and doing your best. The blessings that come from learning are beautiful. No one is meant to do this life perfectly. You need to stop expecting it from others and yourself. If you do the best you can WITHOUT excuses or copouts: your life will be better; your contributions to your family, friend, and community will be better; and the world will be better. A Better you equals a better world to live in.
  9. REPEAT! If you want to keep the toxic energy out of your internal home you will have to repeat these steps over and over. It won’t come out the same way every time, so don’t expect a specific result. Just know when you take care of yourself and stay present, you have the ability to do the best you can in every moment. Trust your journey!
  10. MAKE SPACE FOR CHANGE, GROWTH, AND EXPANSION! When you are on the journey of A BETTER ME, you will change, grow, and expand. Some people will fall off your path and others will come onto to it. Don’t try to hold onto anyone or anything that is not meant to go with you on this path because that can create toxic energy when you are holding on too tight to what you’ve outgrown. Trust your path! Don’t try to force people to walk through doors that they aren’t ready for. They might not be meant to come with you. If they are tied into their own darkness and/or toxic energy and you don’t give them a toxic hand to hold onto, their energy won’t match yours anymore. They become that flip side of the magnet. That goes the same way for jobs and lifestyles. Make the space for your new inner world to show through so that toxic energy has no space to grab onto.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 84 – Keeping the Toxic Energy Out of My Internal Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 83: Taking Responsibility for Inviting the Dark Energy into My Internal Home

Dear Self,

I’m the only one who can invite dark energy into my internal home. I trust that if I attach to a person’s darkness in the physical world and invite that darkness to stir inside of me, I’ve invited the darkness in. I’m responsible for anything the darkness does inside of my internal home. If I’m attaching to the darkness, there is a reason for it. I have something to learn from it. I have a piece of me to heal if I’ve invited darkness in to teach me what I need to learn. I am resisting learning, which is why the darkness came to my door.

I have options when I see that I’ve invited the darkness into my home. The darkness stimulates fear, judgment, guilt, shame, hate, vengeance, greed, and/or ego—Just to name a few. I can see options in my thinking that will stimulate love, compassion, empathy, peace, joy, connection, and hope. I can find reasons to look at the situation from different perspectives to see that the only thing that is trapping me in my darkness are my thoughts. I am choosing my thoughts, so I have the key to get out of the darkness when I’m ready.

I can turn on the light. My first step towards turning on the light is prayer. I pray for the courage to face myself in my darkness. I know that the person, thing, or event in my physical world only triggered me to see my darkness. Now by choosing to shine the light on it, I’m willing to look deeper to see what my dark corner has hidden. For that, I need courage. Once I pray, I like giving myself space to mediate. When I’m quiet and my breath is steady, I hear the Divine whisper to me. If I don’t hear the answer consciously yet, my next step is to go out in nature and focus on what I see, hear, smell, touch, and/or taste. This opens my senses up to receiving answers. Most times nature offers me some insight. I go and stretch through my thoughts and center myself with the Earth through the practice of yoga. I don’t usually have to go any further, but sometimes if the dark energy is just lodged down deep, I shake it out and dance. My light switch clicks on.

This is where I can spot any toxic waste and build-up that is hidden in the dark. These are my old perspectives of truth that I may have thought I got rid of but they are still lingering and spreading like mold. These are those old beliefs that say things like, People have to like me so that I have value, I’m small, I’m unlovable, I’m a victim, I’m more important than another person, I’m less important than another person, I’m nothing, I’m entitled to more, I don’t deserve more, etc. I have to look at my toxic energy that is causing toxic patterns in my life. Those toxic patterns are what I attach to in other people’s darkness. If I’m being triggered by darkness, I’m in a great space to see the secrets that are being hidden in those dark corners.

Now, I can clean it out. My self-care regimen can help me to work through these old beliefs that I’m attaching to. I don’t have space for them anymore. It’s time to replace them with perspectives of truth that make my internal home warm, cozy, safe, comfortable, beautiful, loving, and inspiring. I pray for assistance to help me transform any toxic energy into light producing energy so that I’m able to project more love out into the world. The more clarity I get, the better the job I do at cleaning up the mess. I’m responsible for the upkeep, maintenance, growth, development, and expansion of my internal home.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m so grateful for the dark energy that I invited in because it showed me what areas of my internal home that still need work.
  2. I’m grateful that I’m empowered to make the changes I need to in order to shine my light.
  3. I’m grateful to God for helping me find my courage and strength to face my darkness and take responsibility for it.
  4. I’m grateful to the people who trigger my darkness because they help me to become a better version of me.
  5. I’m grateful for all the unlimited choices I have on perspectives. I love that I ALWAYS have options of how I want to look at things.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 83 – Taking Responsibility for Inviting Dark Energy into Our Internal Homes

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 76 – Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 76: Using Perspective Tools to Navigate Our Relationships

“Each time you are tempted to become angry, or jealous, or fearful and you challenge that feeling, you empower yourself.”

-Gary Zukav

In Part II, I covered the topic of perspective (Days 42-46). We can’t use the tools of perspective until we understand how our perspectives of truth affect our lives. Until we understand about perspectives we want to see us as right and them as wrong. This view is a dark path that leads to fear, anger, hate, resentment, jealousy, revenge, envy, and codependency. We ALL know the effects of these things on our relationships.

Using perspective tools to navigate our relationships opens us up to hear what our family members, romantic partners, friends, coworkers, bosses, clients, and others are saying and where they are coming from. The more we can use our perspective tools the healthier we will be in our relationships, because as we ALL know NOBODY is going to agree with the when, where, how and why of everything we do, say, and feel. Just like, we won’t ALWAYS agree with someone else’s choices.

Using perspective tools is away to reduce the stress of not seeing things from the same angle, because really, that is all it is. We will never have the same exact view of life as any other person. We ALL have the journey each of us are meant to have, no two will ever be exactly the same. If we plan on taking any kind of relationship path with a person, the best we can do is be open to try to understand. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or change our ways, but by understanding our perspectives of truth, then making the effort to understand theirs—There is peace. Communication will improve, but we will talk about that a little later in the series. For now, we will focus on how to use perspective tools to navigate our relationships.

5 Ways You Can Use Perspective Tools

  1. We are either interpreting the moment from a place of love (light) or fear (darkness). The first step is to look at what you and the person you’re communicating with are projecting, love or fear. If either party is projecting fear, question where the fear is coming from inside.
  2. We ALL have a story we are telling. No matter what happens there are lots of ways to write our stories. When we don’t like the way we feel, think, and/or act we can choose a different way. We give the power to our stories. We decide if our story is going to be led by love or fear. How do we want our character to treat the secondary character in front of us?
  3. Try to see from the perspective of the other person. This means you have to ask a lot of questions to figure it out. Don’t tell the person how they should feel, think, or act. Ask questions to uncover why they are feeling, thinking, and/or acting the way they are. If you take the time to understand where they are coming from it’s easier for them to hear you when you explain where you are coming from.
  4. Speak in terms of perspective. You need an understanding of your perspective of truth that works in your life. Their perspective of truth might work in their life. You can ask: Does thinking the way you do bring joy and peace to your life? If it doesn’t, and your perspective of truth does bring joy and peace to your life, you are now open to explain without telling them they HAVE to change. The choice is theirs. It all depends on the perspectives we choose to believe. If your perspective doesn’t bring you peace and joy, maybe the other person may have perspectives you may want to implement in your life.
  5. KEEP QUESTIONING YOUR THOUGHTS!!! Please, if you find yourself blaming, shaming, and judging others or yourself— Go back to Part I (Days 1-30) of the 90-Day A Better Me Seriesand work through what is keeping you from having healthy relationships with others. The more we question our thinking, the better we will be.

If we use these tools, we start getting real honest with ourselves about the people we are inviting into our lives. We start noticing the energy they are bringing with them and how we feel when we are around them. If they are large sources of darkness, the more we spot it, the more we can protect ourselves from it. We will get more into that later. Like we talked about yesterday, we first have to stay present with the person standing in front of us. Once we are present, we see perspectives of truth clearly.

Once we see that we are all just interpreting life through our own unique perspective, we stop taking it so personally when people don’t agree with ours. We can question our perspectives of truth without feeling violated. It becomes much easier to say, we just see things from a different perspective and that’s okay. This is why mine works for me… If yours works for you and brings you peace and joy believing what you do—GREAT!

After we learn to navigate our relationships through the use of perspective tools, it makes it much easier to see which relationships work and which ones don’t in our lives. The more peaceful we remain in someone else’s chaos, the more the energy shifts and changes. The other person will either find a place of calm with you, or they may start unconsciously trying to stir up more chaos to break the relationship. Either way, you will be blessed the calmer and more peaceful you stay. The Law of Attraction will work in your favor.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 76

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 67 -Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 67: Celebrating What Doesn’t Work

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

-Garth Brooks

I’m not going to lie— This step takes some work! Celebrating what doesn’t work is a testament of our faith. It is us realizing that we don’t know what is best, and that is a VERY hard pill for many of us to swallow. I’ve talked about this multiple times in the series. If we were meant to be anywhere then where we are right at this moment, we would be there. There is something to learn from the moment we are in—

No matter what that moment looks like. As soon as we open ourselves up to learn instead of wishing things were different—We grow! Wishing things were different just keeps us stuck in the hamster wheel. We won’t get anywhere! So, if we are praying for things to change, a more productive prayer would be:

Please show me what I need to learn from the moment I’m in. Help me  move past whatever is blocking me.

There maybe a much better plan for us than we could imagine, but if we don’t learn what is necessary to get us there, we will just stay in the hamster repeating the lesson over and over. We may leave one relationship and move into the next, but the same patterns show up. We may leave one job for the next and the same patterns keep repeating themselves. We think our prayers are being answered for getting us out of one toxic situation only to find ourselves in another one. Where our thoughts and prayers go matter to the energy we are putting out into the Universe. We can’t escape or pretend to be somewhere we are not, energy is energy. It’s not judging us, it just is. So, even in the moments we are not getting what we want, we need to find away to celebrate.

“Remember that sometimes NOT getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

-Dalai Lama

If we have faith in a Creator who is the encapsulation of love, why would we think what we were going through isn’t a necessary step to help us achieve love’s full embrace? Why would we think a Being who represents love is punishing us? The only one punishing us is ourselves and maybe other humans are trying to, but they can’t break our soul. They can’t destroy the love within us, no matter what hate they may throw at us. Our love is ours. Only we can lock it up in the dark and make it our prisoner.

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My perspective of truth is that I’m being led to be able to love to my full capability. Everything I experience is a stepping-stone to build my love for myself, for Source, for loved ones, for strangers, for the environment, for animals, for the planet, and for the Universe. Each lesson I get, I can choose to learn from or repeat. My kids are definitely able to show me the ones I need to repeat. I also get to see where I’ve healed and how I’m breaking generations of unhealthy patterns. Little steps, that’s all there ever is. So I’ve learned to surrender, sometimes with tight fists at first, but eventually, I remember—I’m loved more than I can humanly imagine. Everything is happening exactly the way it needs to for each person to learn what he or she are meant to learn in this life.  We have to become aware, accept, and then we get to take action. That is where we celebrate!!

How do we celebrate what doesn’t work, the big NO, the drama, the chaos, the illness, the pain, and the struggle?

9 Ways to Celebrate What Doesn’t Work

  1. Have a dance party! Make a playlist of music that gets your heart pumping. Know that no matter what the challenge is, it is leading you where you are supposed to be. Honor the love in your heart. If you are grieving, know that you are grieving because of your capability to love. If a partner left you, or you needed to leave them, dance because it wasn’t the right relationship for you to experience your best love story. Celebrate the cancer, illness, or disability because with it you have an amazing tool to teach others love and compassion while learning how to embrace the love within you on your journey through the pain.
  2. Go do something you love. Have that amazing dinner, explore somewhere new, visit with friends, take that walk, ride, or run; drive to the beach, mountains, or desert. We will be covering this more in the days to come.
  3. Get down on your knees and pray. Stand-up, with your hands in the air, and pray. Lie down in your bed and pray. Just pray in gratitude to learn from the lesson in front of you, and be grateful for the love that lies behind it.
  4. Write out a gratitude list for everything that the “not getting” is teaching you. Write about how grateful you are for the mistakes, the lessons, the failures, and the challenges because they are giving you opportunities to learn about perspective. We make the choice how we want to view anything in our lives. We don’t have to be victims of anything that we don’t choose to. Gratitude is a perspective that says, I’m bigger than anything that happens to me. I’m the love inside me and for that I will celebrate and be grateful.
  5. Create a spot in your life for peace. It can be the bathroom, a closet, a room, a bench, a tree, a chair, etc. Wherever it is, make this your spot to go to when you need to feel peace when you thought you knew what was best for your life and it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. This is the place that reminds you that even your trials are part of the master plan. This is the place where you embrace the love within you to feel at peace with what is happening around you.
  6. Find a plant, tree, flower, and/or animal that makes you feel AWE. Celebrate the simplistic AWE of life, of creation. You are here! You are alive! That is something to celebrate. If you aren’t where you want to be, make sure you are taking a step on your path in the direction you actually want to be going. Celebrate the AWE inside of you.
  7. Create something beautiful! I personally love word collages (click here to see more) and writing, but this can also include things like gardening, painting, drawing, photography, knitting, stenciling, needlepoint, etc. Just be creative and use your energy to create something beautiful. IMG_3371
  8. Hug someone you love. Not just a few second hug. Hug them for a whole minute. Feel the life of someone you love in your arms. Listen to her/his heartbeat and yours.  Take deep breaths and match your breathing with hers/his. We can celebrate what doesn’t work by embracing what does—LOVE!
  9. Play and laugh! Bring out the childlike energy within yourself and find a way to play and be joyful in the moment. If you have an animal play with her/him. My kids and I play the try not to laugh or smile game while watching funny videos on YouTube. Appreciate the moment you are in. Laughing yoga is a fun way to release tension and play. Just play! What doesn’t work matters a lot less when we appreciate what does.

Be real with yourself. If you are feeling like the victim of something that is happening to you, be there with the feelings. Then, look at different ways you can choose to look at the situation. When you are ready to open yourself up to the possibilities of seeing things differently— Celebrate that! Don’t beat yourself up for your bad mood or dark feelings, just know that is where you are in the moment and when you are ready to move out of that moment, you have choices. That in itself is a reason to celebrate. I love seeing the world through the eyes of perspective because I’m never trapped. I can ALWAYS choose to see things differently. I can be the person who is grateful for the rain or who dreads it, the choice is mine and it’s yours too.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 67 – Celebrating What Hasn’t Worked in My Life

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 62 – Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 62: Clearing Space to Re-Create Our Lives

“The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.”

-Michael Neill

We make room for what is important. Our priorities are how we dictate the time we are willing to commit to something. We have to decide how much this journey means to us. How important is living a quality life? Our words don’t mean anything, and our actions mean EVERYTHING when it comes to what we are willing to give to our journeys. There is no room for excuses. If you can’t make the time, you are saying creating the time not your priority.

“Telling yourself that you don’t have enough time for something is a lousy excuse because you NEVER ‘have’ time, you MAKE time!”

-James Malinchak

No more excuses! We have to be willing to MAKE the time re-create our lives or else we are saying, it’s not our priority. For me writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series has been an amazing experience about creating the time for my writing. I used to make excuses that I didn’t have the time to write EVERYDAY. Well, I’ve been writing two pieces or more for 62 days now. This series was important to me, so I made the time. I know how much focusing on this material does to improve my life. I’ve noticed huge differences in how quick I process through different challenges. I’ve also noticed all the blessings that have come with focusing my energy here. Since the gratitude section in Part Two, I’ve even implemented using the gratitude in my daily Letters from A Better Me portion of the series. Making the time to implement that has created so much more space for more things to be grateful for and it has been an AMAZING process even when I’ve had some interesting challenges in the midst of it all.

“Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.”

-Eric Zorn

Clearing space to re-create our lives is a choice. A choice only we can make. Only we know whether or not we are ready to make the choice towards love or fear. If you are like me and you’re working on creating a peaceful inner world to contribute to a more peaceful outer world or you have been trying the same thing over and over and nothing is working to help you to find joy in the life your living, well clearing the space is an essential step.

We have to make room for the changes we want to see. This means we have to commit daily time to living our journey and doing the work required to transform our lives.

  • Where can you fit you into your schedule?
  • How important is it for you to be in your schedule?

If you want to change anything in your life, then you better move yourself to the top of your priority list. I’m always amazed how I am able to clear space for the things that matter to me and how much I can get done when I stop telling myself I don’t have the time. Being in our heads sucks up our energy to do the work that needs to be done in order to create the lives we want for ourselves.

If living our journeys is important, we MAKE the time!

The miracle that comes with this practice is once we put ourselves on the top of the priority list, things start shifting opening up space. This can be a little strange, because it may mean someone you spend regular time on moves out of your life, or plans change and get cancelled, or something like an accident on the highway slows us down, but these are all opportunities to make the time to our own journeys. What are you going to do with that time? Our energy can create miracles or blocks. Make sure the energy you are putting out is going to the right place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 62 -I’m MAKING the Time to CREATE the Life I WANT Today!

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 61 – Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 61: Rebuilding Our Lives on a Stable Foundation

 “If the house is crooked and crumbling, and the land on which it sits uneven, is it possible to make anything lie straight?”

–Katherine Boo, Behind the Beautiful Foreversp. 254

This quote is where we began on Day 2: Understanding the Journey of Awareness. We spent Part One looking at all our blocks that kept our inner foundation unstable and kept us from being satisfied with the houses we created on the unstable land. Then in Part Two: The Journey of Perspective, we worked on fixing our foundations to make them stable and worthy of building on. We sifted through the fear-based perspectives and replaced them with the energy of love coming from the inside out. Now, we are ready for Part Three: Living the Journey. This is where we take action steps to build on this new foundation and create a house and garden that make us shine. The foundation we are building on now will grow and expand with us. Our houses no longer deteriorate because now we are AWARE of what creates the problems so we are able to fix them at the source before it takes down our house. We can choose to re-model our houses and/or re-frame them as time goes on. We are choosing our changes consciously.

Let’s check some boxes:

  • Awareness our fear-based thinking holding us back
  • Acceptance of our pasts
  • Acceptance of the unknown future
  • Consciousness about the perspectives of truth we are choosing to live by
  • Commitment to live in the energy of love
  • Commitment to live in gratitude
  • Ready to take action

Let’s start the process of rebuilding from our new foundation. Is our land going to be perfect? Not a chance! What we do have is tools to keep it maintained and get rid of any left over toxic muck as is comes up to the surface. Some of our fear-based perspectives of truth are buried deep down and they take longer to surface, but once they do we are ready for it. We are able to process the feelings, work through them and replace the old pattern with something that works better in our lives. Just remember this all takes time. Be patient! Our canvas won’t be complete until we have taken our last breath.

Rebuilding takes work. The more you want to change and shift, the more work you have to put in. No one is forcing you to build your house or create your garden on any time line, but here is the truth of it all. If you don’t do the work and keep up with it, the foundation will become unstable again and anything you try to create on top of toxic land will crumble, fall, and die. Now, when I say work there are instant perspectives of truth that will relate to what work means to you. I’m a believer in working smart. In my perspective working hard has a connotation of fear to it. If I don’t work hard, “I will fail” come into my mind the thought creates stress in my feelings, thoughts, and choices. In this mindset people can become workaholics and can neglect their well-being for the sake of working hard. My method is to work smart. For me, that feels better and causes me less anxiety and stress. It’s good to check-in with yourself on words and concepts to see how they make you feel, because it will affect the energy you put out into the world. If working hard fuels you with the right type of energy to go for it and doesn’t fill you with expectations and attachments related to fear, then use it. Whatever you need to do for you.

During this month we will be building on our foundations built on the energies of faith, hope, gratitude, and love. We will be creating beautiful gardens in our mind and committing to keep working on being the best we can be in each moment we are given.

Living the journey is about letting go of the thinking that keeps us from being present.  We start engaging in the energy that puts us where our feet are. This journey is about embracing the moment we are in, learning to slow down, and taking the steps we need to in order to create a reality that we want to be living in. We can find joy in a single step, hope in the shape of clouds, faith in the energy of Divine love, and gratitude for each breath we are able to take, step we are able to walk, sunset we are see, fruit we are able to taste, and feeling we are able to have. This is a journey about appreciating the moments we are given and letting that energy of gratitude take us into a reality better than we could ever imagine.

Since this section is all about the work, there will be no “Just for Today” section. You choose how much you want a better life and do the work you need to do to get it. If you do the work, your life will change. No one can do it for you. You have to decide.

So, let me ask you—Are you in?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 61 – I’m Ready to Rebuild My Life