Quotes That Make My Soul Sing #30

“When you blame and criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself.”

Deepak Chopra

When I’m emotionally triggered, I have to be VERY careful around this truth. I have to remind myself that what I project out comes back. I’m only responsible and accountable for the the energy I’m putting out there. If I realize I’ve been blaming, I take the time to stop and look inward, but I don’t self-blame. I just notice where my energy is off in the situation and do what I can to fix the problem. It might mean I have to go back to people I was blaming and criticizing with and say I realize that I was triggered, but here is the truth of it… I remind myself that if I’m in a healthy space in my mind, I don’t get defensive. I look for healthy solutions instead of using gossip, criticism, and blame to make someone else feel smaller. I don’t have to make someone else at fault to be proactive and make healthier choices for myself, my family, and/or my community. I can’t help others move into a healthier energy if I’m not there myself.

I’ve found having safe people to process my feelings with is ESSENTIAL for my well-being. These are people who let me work through what I’m feeling and transition into healthy reflection. When I do this, I don’t hold the resentment inside my body and allow it to spew out on others. In one conversation, I can go from enraged to seeing opportunities for growth. I LOVE THAT!

I hope you’ve enjoyed these last 30 days of quotes. I know it has been a wonderful experience for me. I’ve even found some great ones to add to my next book, which I’m almost done writing. Three more chapters to go! I will keep you posted and share some sneak peaks along the way. I will tell you this much, I’ve LOVE writing this book.

Wishing you all a happy and healthy holiday season. If you are looking for support from a loving place, I hope you will take the time to explore my blog, which I’ve been writing just shy of six years now. If you are a woman looking for support, I have a whole book written just for you and it’s available in audiobook, CD, Ebook, and/or paperback at most major online book retailers. Letters from a Better Me is filled with exercises and wisdom that came from my 30+ years of self exploration that have helped me along the way.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me

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Quotes That Make My Soul Sing #29

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

Jim Rohn

That is exactly right.Since I am the example of how I want others to treat me, how I’m treating my body is one examples I’m showing them. If I abuse my body with toxins, I’m attracting outside toxins to me. If I abuse my body by not taking proper care of it with healthy food, exercise, sleep, and water, I’m showing others I don’t value the very vessel that carries me through this life. I’m projecting out that I don’t show myself the love and respect that I deserve, so you don’t have to either. When I take good care of my body, I’m always amazed how much better I feel all around. I love the quality of the people I attract around me from this place.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me

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Audible Release Day of Letters from A Better Me

Today is a very exciting day for me. I love audiobooks, and today mine comes out. It feels surreal. The narrator is the wonderful, Kate Mulligan. Her voice is the perfect fit for this book. You can hear a sample when you click on the link.

3 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE PAPERBACK AND EBOOK RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!!!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

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Letting Go of Past Relationships

Dear Past, 

I’m letting you go of my attachment to you. I’ve let you hold me back for far too long. I will take the lessons you taught me without the attachments to the fear, anger, and pain. I’ve ruined too many relationships treating people like they were the people before them and that’s not fair. Trust has been non-existent, and then I wonder why they leave. I have sabotaged so many relationships by not giving them a chance. 

I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to be able to treat situations, people, and events as new adventures. I’ve confused trusting my gut with trusting my fear from repeating the past. I get signs of red flags, but instead of listening to them I’ve tried to manipulate them into swinging in a different direction. Really, what I was doing is try to fix past relationships. They didn’t work and neither will one that is full of red flags.

I’ve finally learned that it is better to be alone than in a relationship without trust. I don’t have to trust them as much as I need to trust me. I need to trust the reality of the situation, and I can’t do that if I’m attached to all my previous hurts. I know there will be times where I call on you, because I’m not perfect. I will slip in order to learn. My hope is that when I look back, I will acknowledge what I’m doing and not take it out on the people around me. If I do, I will be aware enough to apologize and own my overreaction to the current situation. 

I’m also letting go of my shame and guilt over my past mistakes. I’ve used my past as a weapon of mass destruction against myself. My abuse has reached to the point where I don’t even like looking in the mirror. I’m over not feeling worthy enough to look at myself. I’m tired of cutting myself down. I’m projecting how I feel about myself into every relationship I have and I’m sick of what is coming back to me. 

Today, I’m going to look at myself with fresh eyes. It is a new day. I I will focus on my best attributes and what I want to give to my relationships today.

Thank you for your lessons. I’m ready to use them wisely. I will create a reality I want to be in. 

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

10 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

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You are NOT Stupid!

To the People who Refer to Themselves as Stupid:

We all make mistakes! Mistakes are missteps, detours, and/or stepping stones to growth (as long as we learn from them). They definitely don’t make us stupid. We may try things and fail again and again. You are still not stupid. You may turn to drugs or alcohol thinking you can escape and find out it only makes everything worse. You are still not stupid. Our self-talk defines what feels normal from someone else. How we talk to ourselves makes it okay for someone else to talk to us however we are talking to ourselves. Make sure it’s good. Our self-talk can be the reason we can’t accept compliments if we don’t believe we deserve them. 

You deserve more than calling yourself names. You deserve more than others calling you names. The first step to living better begins with cleaning up your self-talk. If you aren’t going to do it, you will never be able to feel the full appreciation others have for you, because your focus is on the people who treat you the same way you treat yourself. You have lived and survived many lessons in your life. You deserve to be proud of yourself for still being here. You can take life’s circumstances and learn from them. This doesn’t mean you will do this or anything else in life perfectly, because none of us our perfect. Why are you holding yourself to a standard that you don’t hold anyone else to? 

We simply make choices and we have the ability to make a better choices for ourselves in every moment that passes us. Don’t focus on the future or the past. Don’t worry about where this choice will get you or what has happened before. In this moment, make the best choice that you can make. When you make a choice that brings you joy, celebrate it. When you make a choice that brings you pain, learn from it. Don’t be a prisoner by using your choices as a tool to beat yourself up. 

When you feel stupid for the choice you made, write it down, then right down three better choices. Figure out what is creating you to want to make the unhealthy choices, and then forgive yourself. Thank the Universe for the learning experience. Reframing will help you stop beating yourself up.  You are worth your own kindness. When we are not kind to ourselves, we allow others to walk on us. We lie down and become a doormat willingly because we don’t have the self-worth to say something. We try to prove our worth to others by doing for them what they can do for themselves. This still doesn’t make us stupid. We are doing the best we can do in every moment.

Today, commit to making choices that make you feel good inside. Today, do something for yourself that makes you feel valuable. Try looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not stupid, I’m learning.” Say it until you believe it. When you do, your reality will shift for the better.

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017

15 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

Other purchasing options can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/

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Do You See You?

Who Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?

If you see fear and lack, you are living in your own private hell no matter how it looks to anyone else.

If you see love and abundance, you are living your life to its fullest no matter what it looks like to anyone else.

Our perception is our power or our kryptonite. How others view us is their business. How we view ourselves is ours.

It doesn’t matter who sees you as long as you see you. Nothing will change until we shift our perceptions to reflect our power. When we change how we see ourselves, we change what we see in the world. For better or worse is ALWAYS our own personal choice. Choose wisely!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

27 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!

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#PerspectiveChallenge: Money is Evil

PERSPECTIVE: MONEY IS EVIL

If anything guarantees you a horrible relationship with money, it’s telling yourself and the Universe that money is evil. If money is evil, anytime you have money you will sabotage it staying in your life. If money is evil, you make excuses for some people’s poor choices and look past others kind and loving choices that involve money. 

  • Is money evil or is some people’s relationship to money evil?
  • Do some people who have money give themselves the excuses to do evil because they believe that money is evil? 
  • Is the reason you resist being financially successful tied to your belief that money is evil?
  • If the reason why you can’t seem to hold onto money because you don’t want to let it’s evil rub off on you? 
  • Is the belief that money is evil hiding a bigger set of destructive beliefs?
  • These are all questions to ponder when we challenge the perspective of thinking that money is evil. 

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Investigate your relationship with money. Get personal with yourself to discover your beliefs around money. Do the work to heal any negative perspectives you hold that could be keeping you from having a healthy relationship. I can promise you—money won’t do anything to you, it’s a piece of paper. You are the only one that holds the key to healing any relationship you have with it. Whatever energy you put into it, you will get back. What energy do you want to put into that piece of paper?

  • What comes up for you when you think the thought money is evil? 
  • How is your relationship with money?
  • Does money always show up when you need it?
  • Do you have everything you need to survive this moment?
  • Do you focus on the choices that unhealthy people are making and blame it on having too much or not enough money? 
  • Do you do things in fear of not having enough money?
  • When you think of money, where do you feel it in your body? Do you feel light or heavy inside?

Have a perspective-filled day!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

46 Days until Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World can be delivered to your door. 

Upcoming Events

Speaking – “Becoming the Butterfly” (1 of 6 speakers)

Dream Con/ St. Petersburg, Florida on February 29, 2020

Book signing 

Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore/ Atlanta, Georgia on March 15, 2020 from 4-6pm

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Letters from A Better Me: Hello 2020

Hello 2020, 

I’m writing to tell you that I’m ready for you. I’ve come to the place where I know that whatever comes my way is an opportunity to learn and grow. Whether I’m celebrating triumphs and successes or learning from chaos and confusion—I’m open and willing to experience what you have to bring me. 

Today is a one-day in the 366 days you have to offer. Each day, I will have the ability to take what I learned and start fresh. Every evening, I will have the opportunity to sit and reflect on the choices I made that day. I’m choosing to learn from what doesn’t work and what doesn’t feel good. I’m choosing to appreciate everything that DOES work and DOES feel good. 

With my eye on gratitude, and keeping with the energy I want to see more of—I thank you for giving me this day. I thank you for the beauty of the sunrise and oxygen that fills my lungs. 

I’m so grateful for my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my nose to smell, my hands to touch, my arms to extend, my legs to walk, my soul to love, and my taste buds to enjoy the foods Mother Earth provides. This is only the beginning of what I’m grateful for today. 

The relationships in my life, both past and present, provide me with everything I need to give me strength, perseverance, hope, courage, compassion, empathy, joy, sadness, along with tons of opportunities to shine my best light and learn from the darkest corners of my soul. The love and fear I’ve experienced and learned from are what prepares me to be the best version of me today. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Let each day lead you to your greatest transformation yet!

Rachael Wolff ©2020

47 days until the release of Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Pre-order your copy today here or from one of your favorite book retailers in paperback, ebook, or audiobook for you or someone you love.  You can also join others on GoodReads.com by putting it on your “Want to read” list. 

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2020 Commitment to Living Life as a Better Me

Happy NEW YEAR!

The last two years I’ve committed to a focus. Last year, I launched the 90-Day A Better Me Series, which I wrote every day for 90 days. The year before, I focused on creating a vision of what I wanted in my life. I made a vision board and took steps to commit to my dreams.

The last two years my dreams have been coming true from publishing my first book, which will be out February 18, 2020 and getting back into public speaking. February 29, 2020, I will be speaking at Dream Con in St. Petersburg, FL. I have to contribute much of what has happened in my life to focusing my energy on the things I want in my life. 

I’m starting my year in healthy and happy relationships with my partner, teenagers, family, and friends. Life is good, so this year’s focus is keeping it that way. I’m committing staying on track and doing the work it takes to live a purpose-filled life. 

I will being counting down to the book release with a daily posts to commit to the amazing feeling I get when I write daily. What I’ve discovered is when I stay committed to this—GREAT things happen! Becoming a better me takes work and if I’m not willing to do the work, positive change won’t last, and I for one am done sabotaging my happiness by falling back into old patterns. 

I hope you will join me on this journey by staying committed to your dreams and doing the daily work it takes to keep you on track. Let’s make 2020 the year of dreams coming true! Are you ready?

48 DAYS until Letters from A Better Me is available for delivery! Make sure to pre-order your copy today in paperback, ebook, or audiobook.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

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Feel-Good Friday Book Series: Power

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY

BOOKS THAT GAVE ME SEEDS TO THRIVE (Click link for the introduction to the series)

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi was one of THE most important books I ever read to complete my healing from narcissistic abuse. For me, it was the final piece of the puzzle that I couldn’t understand. I had no idea how calculated narcissistic abuse was. She would say thing that were said to me verbatim. All the research studies I read didn’t cover that. I remember listening to the audiobook and just sitting there with my mouth opened as I listened to what seemed like old memories. Arabi helps the reader detach from the part of ourselves that wants to play rescuer, at least that is what she did for me.

After reading this book it was much easier for me to stick to my healthy boundaries and create a healthy distance. When I was coming out of the haze of narcissistic abuse I had a lot of resources I was using to build my self-worth, heal, and find my inner peace. So many of the tools I used were mentioned in this book, which is why I recommend it to ANY person coming out of or still in a relationship with someone who could possibly be a narcissist or sociopath.

Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse is available on audiobook and paperback and I have both. If you are the beginning of your recovery, you will definitely want to read this book multiple times. My wish is that people read the book all the way through because there are so many jewels of wisdom throughout and it will help you thrive if you do the work.

There were many passages in this book that gave me seeds to thrive, so picking one quote is very challenging. I keep going back and worth on which one to do. So here’s what I landed on, because this was the piece of the puzzle that was missing from my recovery before reading this book.

Favorite Quote from Power

(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)

“It’s not that they can’t help it, or that they’re utterly helpless to their disorder—it’s that they selectively choose which victims to devalue and discard, and those victims ten to be loved ones.”

-Shahida Arabi, Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, p. 99

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Catch up on Your Feel-Good Friday Book Series Here:

I Am What’s Wrong 

Your Creative Brain

Hope for the Flowers

The Tao of Pooh

A New Earth

The Four Agreements

Healing the Shame that Binds You

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