Today is a very exciting day for me. I love audiobooks, and today mine comes out. It feels surreal. The narrator is the wonderful, Kate Mulligan. Her voice is the perfect fit for this book. You can hear a sample when you click on the link.
Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.
I’m letting you go of my attachment to you. I’ve let you hold me back for far too long. I will take the lessons you taught me without the attachments to the fear, anger, and pain. I’ve ruined too many relationships treating people like they were the people before them and that’s not fair. Trust has been non-existent, and then I wonder why they leave. I have sabotaged so many relationships by not giving them a chance.
I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to be able to treat situations, people, and events as new adventures. I’ve confused trusting my gut with trusting my fear from repeating the past. I get signs of red flags, but instead of listening to them I’ve tried to manipulate them into swinging in a different direction. Really, what I was doing is try to fix past relationships. They didn’t work and neither will one that is full of red flags.
I’ve finally learned that it is better to be alone than in a relationship without trust. I don’t have to trust them as much as I need to trust me. I need to trust the reality of the situation, and I can’t do that if I’m attached to all my previous hurts. I know there will be times where I call on you, because I’m not perfect. I will slip in order to learn. My hope is that when I look back, I will acknowledge what I’m doing and not take it out on the people around me. If I do, I will be aware enough to apologize and own my overreaction to the current situation.
I’m also letting go of my shame and guilt over my past mistakes. I’ve used my past as a weapon of mass destruction against myself. My abuse has reached to the point where I don’t even like looking in the mirror. I’m over not feeling worthy enough to look at myself. I’m tired of cutting myself down. I’m projecting how I feel about myself into every relationship I have and I’m sick of what is coming back to me.
Today, I’m going to look at myself with fresh eyes. It is a new day. I I will focus on my best attributes and what I want to give to my relationships today.
Thank you for your lessons. I’m ready to use them wisely. I will create a reality I want to be in.
With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me
Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018
Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.
We all make mistakes! Mistakes are missteps, detours, and/or stepping stones to growth (as long as we learn from them). They definitely don’t make us stupid. We may try things and fail again and again. You are still not stupid. You may turn to drugs or alcohol thinking you can escape and find out it only makes everything worse. You are still not stupid. Our self-talk defines what feels normal from someone else. How we talk to ourselves makes it okay for someone else to talk to us however we are talking to ourselves. Make sure it’s good. Our self-talk can be the reason we can’t accept compliments if we don’t believe we deserve them.
You deserve more than calling yourself names. You deserve more than others calling you names. The first step to living better begins with cleaning up your self-talk. If you aren’t going to do it, you will never be able to feel the full appreciation others have for you, because your focus is on the people who treat you the same way you treat yourself. You have lived and survived many lessons in your life. You deserve to be proud of yourself for still being here. You can take life’s circumstances and learn from them. This doesn’t mean you will do this or anything else in life perfectly, because none of us our perfect. Why are you holding yourself to a standard that you don’t hold anyone else to?
We simply make choices and we have the ability to make a better choices for ourselves in every moment that passes us. Don’t focus on the future or the past. Don’t worry about where this choice will get you or what has happened before. In this moment, make the best choice that you can make. When you make a choice that brings you joy, celebrate it. When you make a choice that brings you pain, learn from it. Don’t be a prisoner by using your choices as a tool to beat yourself up.
When you feel stupid for the choice you made, write it down, then right down three better choices. Figure out what is creating you to want to make the unhealthy choices, and then forgive yourself. Thank the Universe for the learning experience. Reframing will help you stop beating yourself up. You are worth your own kindness. When we are not kind to ourselves, we allow others to walk on us. We lie down and become a doormat willingly because we don’t have the self-worth to say something. We try to prove our worth to others by doing for them what they can do for themselves. This still doesn’t make us stupid. We are doing the best we can do in every moment.
Today, commit to making choices that make you feel good inside. Today, do something for yourself that makes you feel valuable. Try looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not stupid, I’m learning.” Say it until you believe it. When you do, your reality will shift for the better.
With Love and Gratitude,
A Better Me
Rachael Wolff © 2020, 2017
15 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me!
Other purchasing options can be found here: https://fromalovingplace.com/book/
If you see fear and lack, you are living in your own private hell no matter how it looks to anyone else.
If you see love and abundance, you are living your life to its fullest no matter what it looks like to anyone else.
Our perception is our power or our kryptonite. How others view us is their business. How we view ourselves is ours.
It doesn’t matter who sees you as long as you see you. Nothing will change until we shift our perceptions to reflect our power. When we change how we see ourselves, we change what we see in the world. For better or worse is ALWAYS our own personal choice. Choose wisely!
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2020
If anything guarantees you a horrible relationship with money, it’s telling yourself and the Universe that money is evil. If money is evil, anytime you have money you will sabotage it staying in your life. If money is evil, you make excuses for some people’s poor choices and look past others kind and loving choices that involve money.
Investigate your relationship with money. Get personal with yourself to discover your beliefs around money. Do the work to heal any negative perspectives you hold that could be keeping you from having a healthy relationship. I can promise you—money won’t do anything to you, it’s a piece of paper. You are the only one that holds the key to healing any relationship you have with it. Whatever energy you put into it, you will get back. What energy do you want to put into that piece of paper?
Have a perspective-filled day!
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2020
I’m writing to tell you that I’m ready for you. I’ve come to the place where I know that whatever comes my way is an opportunity to learn and grow. Whether I’m celebrating triumphs and successes or learning from chaos and confusion—I’m open and willing to experience what you have to bring me.
Today is a one-day in the 366 days you have to offer. Each day, I will have the ability to take what I learned and start fresh. Every evening, I will have the opportunity to sit and reflect on the choices I made that day. I’m choosing to learn from what doesn’t work and what doesn’t feel good. I’m choosing to appreciate everything that DOES work and DOES feel good.
With my eye on gratitude, and keeping with the energy I want to see more of—I thank you for giving me this day. I thank you for the beauty of the sunrise and oxygen that fills my lungs.
I’m so grateful for my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my nose to smell, my hands to touch, my arms to extend, my legs to walk, my soul to love, and my taste buds to enjoy the foods Mother Earth provides. This is only the beginning of what I’m grateful for today.
The relationships in my life, both past and present, provide me with everything I need to give me strength, perseverance, hope, courage, compassion, empathy, joy, sadness, along with tons of opportunities to shine my best light and learn from the darkest corners of my soul. The love and fear I’ve experienced and learned from are what prepares me to be the best version of me today.
With Love and Gratitude,
Let each day lead you to your greatest transformation yet!
Rachael Wolff ©2020
Pre-order your copy today here or from one of your favorite book retailers in paperback, ebook, or audiobook for you or someone you love. You can also join others on GoodReads.com by putting it on your “Want to read” list.
The last two years I’ve committed to a focus. Last year, I launched the 90-Day A Better Me Series, which I wrote every day for 90 days. The year before, I focused on creating a vision of what I wanted in my life. I made a vision board and took steps to commit to my dreams.
The last two years my dreams have been coming true from publishing my first book, which will be out February 18, 2020 and getting back into public speaking. February 29, 2020, I will be speaking at Dream Con in St. Petersburg, FL. I have to contribute much of what has happened in my life to focusing my energy on the things I want in my life.
I’m starting my year in healthy and happy relationships with my partner, teenagers, family, and friends. Life is good, so this year’s focus is keeping it that way. I’m committing staying on track and doing the work it takes to live a purpose-filled life.
I will being counting down to the book release with a daily posts to commit to the amazing feeling I get when I write daily. What I’ve discovered is when I stay committed to this—GREAT things happen! Becoming a better me takes work and if I’m not willing to do the work, positive change won’t last, and I for one am done sabotaging my happiness by falling back into old patterns.
I hope you will join me on this journey by staying committed to your dreams and doing the daily work it takes to keep you on track. Let’s make 2020 the year of dreams coming true! Are you ready?
48 DAYS until Letters from A Better Me is available for delivery! Make sure to pre-order your copy today in paperback, ebook, or audiobook.
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2020
Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi was one of THE most important books I ever read to complete my healing from narcissistic abuse. For me, it was the final piece of the puzzle that I couldn’t understand. I had no idea how calculated narcissistic abuse was. She would say thing that were said to me verbatim. All the research studies I read didn’t cover that. I remember listening to the audiobook and just sitting there with my mouth opened as I listened to what seemed like old memories. Arabi helps the reader detach from the part of ourselves that wants to play rescuer, at least that is what she did for me.
After reading this book it was much easier for me to stick to my healthy boundaries and create a healthy distance. When I was coming out of the haze of narcissistic abuse I had a lot of resources I was using to build my self-worth, heal, and find my inner peace. So many of the tools I used were mentioned in this book, which is why I recommend it to ANY person coming out of or still in a relationship with someone who could possibly be a narcissist or sociopath.
Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse is available on audiobook and paperback and I have both. If you are the beginning of your recovery, you will definitely want to read this book multiple times. My wish is that people read the book all the way through because there are so many jewels of wisdom throughout and it will help you thrive if you do the work.
There were many passages in this book that gave me seeds to thrive, so picking one quote is very challenging. I keep going back and worth on which one to do. So here’s what I landed on, because this was the piece of the puzzle that was missing from my recovery before reading this book.
(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)
“It’s not that they can’t help it, or that they’re utterly helpless to their disorder—it’s that they selectively choose which victims to devalue and discard, and those victims ten to be loved ones.”
-Shahida Arabi, Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, p. 99
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff
Today I picked a book that got me to the core of my deepest darkest obstacles that were holding me down, Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw. I remember feeling so desperate to find out why I kept repeating patterns that kept me in unhealthy situations. I had been reading, studying, going to therapy for years, and I didn’t realize how powerful the shame was that I felt. I didn’t realize it was the shame that kept me sabotaging the good in my life. Reading this book and putting all the pieces together helped me to see how important it was for me to forgive myself and re-evaluate the beliefs that were keeping me hostage to my shame.
I read through the book, then listened to the audiobook probably three times in a row. I wanted to REALLY release the shame that was creating so many obstacles in my life. When we look at the shame, we heal it. The only way shame survives is if it remains a secret. Bradshaw shows the reader how to release the shame and strip it of it’s power. It really is that powerful of a book if you are open to do the work.
Even though I didn’t agree with everything he wrote, it didn’t matter because what did resonate was huge! We each have to decide what feels right and what doesn’t. A person can have perspectives we agree with and ones that we don’t, it’s our job to plant the seeds we want, and leave the rest for someone else if that is what feels right for them.
Bradshaw really did teach me to heal the shame that was binding me, but I could only do that because I did the work using the tools he gave me. If you have toxic shame, do the work. It is worth it! It has benefited my life in so many ways and helped me to establish healthy relationships with myself and others.
(click on the book title to check out the book for yourself)
“Without total self-love and acceptance, we are doomed to enervative task of creating false selves.”
John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You, 1988
With Love & Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff
I’m writing this today simply because I am beyond excited for what is going on in my life right now. As I reflect on my journey so far, I’m simply amazed at how each and every event in my life has played such an important role in where I am right now. If you follow my writing, you understand that I use nature a lot to make sense of the journey. I want to bring you into my mind’s garden.
As a child, my garden was filled with weeds, smuggling vines, and invasive species that tried to kill off any of the beautiful life I would try to plant. So much so that it almost smuggled the life right out of me. It was in 1996 when I realized that I could clear out some of these weeds. That’s when I was launched into a career of public speaking. I planted flower after flower and tree after tree, but what I didn’t realize is that because I didn’t fix the foundation my garden was on, one day I would sabotage this dream come true.
Those smuggling vines took over my garden once again and I went on a downward spiral. I had so much to learn. Looking back I’m so grateful for all my lessons in my time of darkness. I was living life as a caterpillar that spewed toxic venom because of the environment I created. There were still trees of life and wisdom trying to survive which would lead me to seek help when I was desperate enough to realize that I didn’t like the person I had become. Looking back I was given so many amazing seeds during this time, and it was a message from a pastor that finally led me to really invest myself in not only cleaning up the invasive species from my garden, but to clean up my foundation so that my trees could grow and provide the food that the caterpillar needs to transform into the butterfly.
You better believe I started getting really dirty in my garden to figure out why I didn’t believe I deserved happiness in my life. As I dug deeper, and got dirtier, the work brought me peace. The more peace I found digging in my garden, the healthier my soil became. I started taking care of those seeds that were given to me. My caterpillar self, started to build a chrysalis.
I sat for a long time in my chrysalis gaining strength, reflecting, and transforming. In the chrysalis is where I learned the power of letting go and forgiveness. The person I needed to forgive the most was myself. From there, I found away to learn from all the traumas in my life.
What I learned gave me power to plant more amazing trees and let them flourish. I absorbed lesson after lesson of on perspectives to understand how powerful each and every person is at creating their own gardens, and that what others chose to plant was not my business. All I can ever do for someone is to offer seeds in the way that I know best. I also have to take responsibility if I learn that the seeds I’m passing aren’t healthy.
In my chrysalis I found stillness, presence, and mindfulness to keep me in the mindset of maintaining my garden. I realized that any belief that causes me pain doesn’t HAVE to be in my garden, that is a choice I’m making. I have the power to choose my feelings, thoughts, beliefs/perspectives, actions, and reactions. I will learn from each decision I make and I will allow this choice to set me free— with that, I became the butterfly. My garden now healthy and well maintained provides me with all that I need to keep me nourished, energized, rested, and able to soar.
This doesn’t mean I won’t need to go back on a caterpillar’s journey again, because each time I do go back, I learn more. I no longer resent the journey, I embrace it, because I know it leads to breakthrough. I gain more perspective, and I become a better version of myself. I just don’t stay in the caterpillar state as long. I move into my chrysalis absorb my lessons and come out more empowered and colorful each time.
I created a program called, “Becoming the Butterfly” that I’m launching at a Dreamer’s Paradise *Now or Never event in St. Petersburg, FL, Oct. 26, 2019. As I’ve been preparing for this moment, I’m flooded with emotion because this will be my first event since 2002. I started my public speaking career in the Tampa Bay Area and now I’m going back there to re-launch my career with so much more to offer. I’m coming home. I’ve been standing up in front of crowds since I was 14-years old. I went on to earn awards in high school for public speaking, English, and guidance, yet back then never knew that it would lead to a path that I loved being on. My garden is exactly how I want it right now. I’m ready to share the seeds that helped me to create it.
This comes in perfect timing as my first book is coming out on February 18, 2020. Make no mistake; there is a reason the butterfly is on the cover. You can read more about it and *pre-order your copy today.
If you want to start getting dirty right now, you can go to my *90-Day A Better Me Series.
Just remember we are the ones who create our gardens. We have to provide ourselves with the right food to nurture us to become the butterfly. Watching butterflies soar above us, won’t give us our wings. If we want to live the life of our dreams, we can’t just admire the butterflies around us. We have to do the work it takes to become the butterfly. Only then will we soar.
Thank you for being on this journey with me by reading my work. I started writing this blog in 2016 as way to help me maintain my garden. Focusing on perspectives that keep my energy in a loving place has been such an empowering tool. It keeps my foundation filled with love, which is what encourages all the seeds I want in my garden to grow. I am beyond grateful to each individual who has told me how my seeds have helped her/him. I can’t make anyone plant seeds in their gardens and nobody can make me plant seeds I don’t want in mine, so when I know that a person made the conscious decision to do it, I’m truly honored.
I hope you will join me in spreading the love on social media. The *Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace page offers lots and lots of daily encouragement from pages who have a like-minded visions of raising our collective energy. You will find all my social media links at on the main page to the left. I hope you decide to work on your garden so that you can be living the life of your dreams.
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff
*Links for more information
Read more about my perspectives on cleaning up our internal gardens here.
