90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 23 – The Fight Against HATE

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 23: The Fight Against HATE

“Violence teaches only violence. Stress teaches only stress. If you can clean up your mental environment, we’ll clean up our physical one much more quickly.”

-Byron Katie Hope Beneath Our Feet

I’ve been slowly approaching the fight AGAINST in this series. I know the attraction to fighting against things like racism, unfair wages, drunk driving, cancer, drugs, sexual harassment, sexism, inequality, rape, pollution, human trafficking, terrorists, and violence. The statement feels powerful and it can easily fuel our rage, which can give many of us the jumpstart to do something. We want people ACT! Right now, the easiest way to get people to act is to engage their rage. I hope you read yesterday’s post where the toxic energy of hate was covered. We are trying to fight these things with the same energy we are trying to get rid of. Do you see the problem? Our energy is focused on what we don’t want. Does this mean we have to change the names of these important causes? No, but if we really want our energy going towards the best solutions, we have to refocus the energy we are putting into the causes by putting a complete focus on the changes we want to see, not what we don’t want to see more of.

Can we do this by using force or violence? Can we do this by shaming people who are acting in the mentality of against? NO and NO! We just have to inject energy that works for what we want. It’s all about energy, not judgment. The second we engage in the judgment we are once again focusing on the energy we don’t want…I know it is tricky to navigate. Most, if not all of us, will not do this perfectly even if we try. We simply do the best we can and do our best to hold ourselves accountable for our own feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. We are only responsible for our own energy. We can’t control what someone else does.

Now, on a personal level this is true too. If we focus our energy on the things we don’t want in our personal lives, we are going to contribute to a negative energy that has to come back to us…EEK! So if we hate our weight and we fight against it, we are actually going to cause more problems. We may lose weight but it may come back easily or it may have negative ramifications in other areas. If we don’t want a certain kind of relationship that may include abuse or addiction, and we are focused against it, we will be pulled towards it. This can be a lot to take in. I know it was for me, but when I figured it out, my life got SO MUCH BETTER!!

The energy of AGAINST works againstwhat we are trying to do. Once again, we go back to the Law of Attraction, what we focus on we get back. Hate can feel very justified when we are fighting AGAINST things that hurt the people we care about or us. There is a difference between having feelings that we process and release and feelings that we turn against ourselves that become resentment, violence, and vengeance. When we feel scorned by someone who we thought loved us, we can want to lash out, the lashing out is the violence. If we can just SLOW DOWN, process the hurt, anger, pain, sadness, and feelings of disappointment, we can open ourselves up to growing from the situation without blame, shame, judgment, and vengeance. This is why so many say that the act of forgiveness isn’t for the person we feel wronged us, it’s for us not to carry energy that will continue to harm us, which I will discuss in a lot more detail in Part II.

For now, we just want to become aware of anytime we are using the energy of AGAINST to attract change to the lives of ourselves and/or others. We will feel it in our bodies. A rage stirring inside us feels different then when we use loving energy to find solutions with a focus on what we want. I’m not saying that good changes haven’t come from the fight against, but there is severe backlash. Sometimes the energy will keep us from listening, finding creative solutions, being open to new research, etc. AGAINST shuts us down with a narrow focus on one thing. We can get blindsided when we don’t open our vision. We can miss the true causes, contributing factors, opportunities, and so much more.

A great example is the war AGAINST drugs. Ok, violence is initiated in the very title. Instantly we are encouraged to attack the drugs. This has hurt us in research of a natural plant remedy called, I know you know, cannabis. Some people who are so AGAINST the recreational use of marijuana will do anything to avoid looking at factual information of how it medicinal uses have helped not only adults, but children. The act of AGAINST could actually be slowing down research that could lead to cures…hmmm. They aren’t looking at how bad some of these chemicals that people have to use to tame symptoms their ailments are actually destroying other organs. The side effects alone on some of the pills people have to take are heartbreaking just to listen to, but the WAR ON DRUGS, makes us feel justified in attacking even the research of the possibility that benefits of cannabis are staggering. I know I was AMAZED in the research studies I was finding.

The war on drugs also keeps us focused on the drugs instead of looking at the WHY behind the people using the drugs. What are people so shut down by that they want to numb themselves? Are you thinking that there is plenty of other ways people try to numb themselves besides using drugs? EXACTLY!! We have to find the answers about why people are scared to feel and process their feelings in a healthy way. Are their belief patterns passed down from generations that we can help individuals sort out? Are there ways we can start helping children and families before the addictions begin? Are there things schools are doing to encouraging youth to want to numb themselves?

Are there schools using programs that are helping students develop on a healthy emotional level? Yes, there actually are more and more schools taking on things like mindfulness, small groups for emotional support, and feeling-centered activities to help with the understanding of feelings.  Funny thing, there are plenty of answers already out there, but we have to keep our focus on finding solutions to the WHY. I majored in human development and read research study after research study that gave plenty of avenues to explore, but by keeping the energy and resources tied up in the war against will keep the problem growing. Thankfully, we will always have people who ask why. We do have people who have their focus in the right places for positive change to happen. Sometimes it starts on a very small level. It may be one teacher in a school. Then the principal notices what the program is doing and it grows into a program that is used for the school. As they see more and more results people who are looking for solutions find the model and start using it too. The great thing about our global community is that we can see just as much good in the world as we can see bad in the world. It’s all about where we put our focus.  As we become more and more aware of how our energy helps or hinders the results we are looking to find, we will have the opportunity to solve more and more of the world’s and our own road blocks.

Just for Today

Here’s a little experiment for you:

Step 1:

I want you to take something you feel that feeling of AGAINST about. It can be something personal like your weight, addiction, or food. It can also be something bigger like a cause you support, for instance the ones listed at the beginning of the article.

Step 2:

Be present to feel what the FIGHT AGAINST brings up inside of you. What do you feel creeping up inside you? Where is the focus of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions?

Step 3:

Turn the focus of what you were against to what you are actually FOR. For Instance:

  • You are AGAINST your Weight = You are FORliving a healthy lifestyle. You are FOR feeling comfortable in your clothes.
  • You are AGAINST discrimination = You are FOR seeing people as equals. You are FOR each individual being valued for his or her unique skills. You are FOR the acceptance of others.
  • You are AGAINST abuse = You are FOR being treated with dignity and respect. You are FOR having a partner who knows how to effectively communicate with love.

Pay attention to how the shift in energy makes you feel. Try to find as many positives as you can for anything that you feel the energy of against towards. Become aware of how that makes you feel, think, act, and react?

Step 4:

Look at the lists you wrote in Step 3. Do you treat yourself in a way that represents what you stand FOR? Examples:

  • If you are FOR living a healthy lifestyle…what are you doing/not doing that reflects you living a healthy lifestyle?
  • If you are FOR being treated with dignity and respect…in what ways are you showing/not showing yourself dignity and respect?

Just become aware of how you are contributing to the energy you are feeding. This can help you dig to the bottom of what you really want instead of what you are fighting AGAINST.

Thank you to those who have been following along with the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series. I’m so grateful for your time and consideration for the perspectives being shared. Open minds give us so many opportunities to better our personal and global environments. Don’t forget to read today’s letter, 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 23 – Where Am I Holding Energy of AGAINST?


With Love and Gratitude,


Rachael Wolff ©2019

I Am FOR Love, Respect, and Dignity of Life

I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.

-Mother Teresa

A challenge in my life is making sure I’m focused on what I’m for, not against. The energy we project when we are against something is very strong, and even more negative. This works against us internally and externally in a myriad of ways. First, negative energy is a magnet for more negative energy and actually repels positive energy. This will present itself in different ways in our personal lives. We may feel tired and worn out, find ourselves with health problem after health problem, and/or we attract negative people and situations into our lives.

We can think we are fighting for a cause, but the very energy we are putting out is against something else. When the causes are passionate cries for the betterment and safety of humanity, animals, and nature we sometimes get caught up in the energy of the people who are against the very thing we are for, we become apart of the problem, not the solution. I find I have to check in with myself often to make sure I have my energy going to what I am truly for in life. I have to ask myself a series of questions and watch how my voice, body, mind, and spirit are reacting to my behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Here are just some of the examples I tend to ask myself:

  • Am I focused on what other people think of me? (Negative energy)
  • Do I feel like I’m being blamed and having to prove myself? (Negative energy)
  • Am I focused on what I don’t like that someone else is doing? (Negative energy)
  • Do I feel exhausted when I’m volunteering my voice for a cause? (Negative Energy)
  • Am I trying to make someone else wrong in order to be right? (Negative energy)
  • Am I contributing to negativity through gossip? (Negative Energy)
  • Am I clear on my boundaries for my own self-care? (Positive Energy)
  • Do I communicate clearly on what is and is not acceptable behavior toward me? (Positive Energy)
  • Are my thoughts, actions, and feelings energized by the causes I’m representing? (Positive energy)
  • Am I treating myself with love and respect before I expect someone else to do it? (Positive Energy)
  • How do I want to see humanity treat each other? (Positive Energy)
  • Am I being the example of compassion and kindness that I want other people to follow? (Positive Energy)
  • Am I speaking from a source of love or fear?
  • Are my thoughts coming from a place of love or fear?
  • Are my feelings projecting love for humanity or fear of humanity?

Now, this list can go on and on, but the point is I know I’m in a healthy place when I start paying close attention to what I’m doing and questioning my own thoughts. This can be a struggle for me especially when it comes things like:

  • Respecting my own personal boundaries
  • Representing women being true to their voices
  • Putting attention on childhood development in schools
  • Helping become more self-aware and promoting self-care
  • Humans treating other humans with respect and dignity
  • Respecting animals
  • Respecting and connecting to nature

Here is the negative energy focus on all the items listed above:

  • People walking all over me and lying about me.
  • Feeling hatred towards men who mistreat women
  • School testing is destroying our children
  • Being against Big Pharma
  • Hating people who aren’t accepting of others
  • Being against animal cruelty
  • We are destroying our planet

When I get worked up on any of the subjects listed above and some others, it is very easy for me to start focusing on the things I’m against. With a lot of self-realization though, I see the damage I do when I keep my focus on that mindset. I can see the good myself and others are trying to do fall on deaf ears. When we stay focused on the negative energy of what we are against. I see how it affects our minds, hearts, and actions toward others. Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, Buddha, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, and so many others lived and/or live their lives according to what they want to represent in humanity. We know all their names. Their messages still ring through in our hearts today. These are my leaders. They remind me about being the person I want to be and not succumbing to fear based agenda. This is true for my personal life and matters that affect my community, country, and world.


I am for love, respect, and dignity of life. I pray that this leads my thoughts, feelings, and actions more than any of my fears. I know this all starts with how I treat myself. I can’t give what I don’t have. I will honor, love, and take care of myself, so that I may contribute the best of me to my family, friends, community, country, and world.

With Love and Gratitude,


Rachael Wolff ©2017