90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 23 – The Fight Against HATE

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 23: The Fight Against HATE

“Violence teaches only violence. Stress teaches only stress. If you can clean up your mental environment, we’ll clean up our physical one much more quickly.”

-Byron Katie Hope Beneath Our Feet

I’ve been slowly approaching the fight AGAINST in this series. I know the attraction to fighting against things like racism, unfair wages, drunk driving, cancer, drugs, sexual harassment, sexism, inequality, rape, pollution, human trafficking, terrorists, and violence. The statement feels powerful and it can easily fuel our rage, which can give many of us the jumpstart to do something. We want people ACT! Right now, the easiest way to get people to act is to engage their rage. I hope you read yesterday’s post where the toxic energy of hate was covered. We are trying to fight these things with the same energy we are trying to get rid of. Do you see the problem? Our energy is focused on what we don’t want. Does this mean we have to change the names of these important causes? No, but if we really want our energy going towards the best solutions, we have to refocus the energy we are putting into the causes by putting a complete focus on the changes we want to see, not what we don’t want to see more of.

Can we do this by using force or violence? Can we do this by shaming people who are acting in the mentality of against? NO and NO! We just have to inject energy that works for what we want. It’s all about energy, not judgment. The second we engage in the judgment we are once again focusing on the energy we don’t want…I know it is tricky to navigate. Most, if not all of us, will not do this perfectly even if we try. We simply do the best we can and do our best to hold ourselves accountable for our own feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. We are only responsible for our own energy. We can’t control what someone else does.

Now, on a personal level this is true too. If we focus our energy on the things we don’t want in our personal lives, we are going to contribute to a negative energy that has to come back to us…EEK! So if we hate our weight and we fight against it, we are actually going to cause more problems. We may lose weight but it may come back easily or it may have negative ramifications in other areas. If we don’t want a certain kind of relationship that may include abuse or addiction, and we are focused against it, we will be pulled towards it. This can be a lot to take in. I know it was for me, but when I figured it out, my life got SO MUCH BETTER!!

The energy of AGAINST works againstwhat we are trying to do. Once again, we go back to the Law of Attraction, what we focus on we get back. Hate can feel very justified when we are fighting AGAINST things that hurt the people we care about or us. There is a difference between having feelings that we process and release and feelings that we turn against ourselves that become resentment, violence, and vengeance. When we feel scorned by someone who we thought loved us, we can want to lash out, the lashing out is the violence. If we can just SLOW DOWN, process the hurt, anger, pain, sadness, and feelings of disappointment, we can open ourselves up to growing from the situation without blame, shame, judgment, and vengeance. This is why so many say that the act of forgiveness isn’t for the person we feel wronged us, it’s for us not to carry energy that will continue to harm us, which I will discuss in a lot more detail in Part II.

For now, we just want to become aware of anytime we are using the energy of AGAINST to attract change to the lives of ourselves and/or others. We will feel it in our bodies. A rage stirring inside us feels different then when we use loving energy to find solutions with a focus on what we want. I’m not saying that good changes haven’t come from the fight against, but there is severe backlash. Sometimes the energy will keep us from listening, finding creative solutions, being open to new research, etc. AGAINST shuts us down with a narrow focus on one thing. We can get blindsided when we don’t open our vision. We can miss the true causes, contributing factors, opportunities, and so much more.

A great example is the war AGAINST drugs. Ok, violence is initiated in the very title. Instantly we are encouraged to attack the drugs. This has hurt us in research of a natural plant remedy called, I know you know, cannabis. Some people who are so AGAINST the recreational use of marijuana will do anything to avoid looking at factual information of how it medicinal uses have helped not only adults, but children. The act of AGAINST could actually be slowing down research that could lead to cures…hmmm. They aren’t looking at how bad some of these chemicals that people have to use to tame symptoms their ailments are actually destroying other organs. The side effects alone on some of the pills people have to take are heartbreaking just to listen to, but the WAR ON DRUGS, makes us feel justified in attacking even the research of the possibility that benefits of cannabis are staggering. I know I was AMAZED in the research studies I was finding.

The war on drugs also keeps us focused on the drugs instead of looking at the WHY behind the people using the drugs. What are people so shut down by that they want to numb themselves? Are you thinking that there is plenty of other ways people try to numb themselves besides using drugs? EXACTLY!! We have to find the answers about why people are scared to feel and process their feelings in a healthy way. Are their belief patterns passed down from generations that we can help individuals sort out? Are there ways we can start helping children and families before the addictions begin? Are there things schools are doing to encouraging youth to want to numb themselves?

Are there schools using programs that are helping students develop on a healthy emotional level? Yes, there actually are more and more schools taking on things like mindfulness, small groups for emotional support, and feeling-centered activities to help with the understanding of feelings.  Funny thing, there are plenty of answers already out there, but we have to keep our focus on finding solutions to the WHY. I majored in human development and read research study after research study that gave plenty of avenues to explore, but by keeping the energy and resources tied up in the war against will keep the problem growing. Thankfully, we will always have people who ask why. We do have people who have their focus in the right places for positive change to happen. Sometimes it starts on a very small level. It may be one teacher in a school. Then the principal notices what the program is doing and it grows into a program that is used for the school. As they see more and more results people who are looking for solutions find the model and start using it too. The great thing about our global community is that we can see just as much good in the world as we can see bad in the world. It’s all about where we put our focus.  As we become more and more aware of how our energy helps or hinders the results we are looking to find, we will have the opportunity to solve more and more of the world’s and our own road blocks.

Just for Today

Here’s a little experiment for you:

Step 1:

I want you to take something you feel that feeling of AGAINST about. It can be something personal like your weight, addiction, or food. It can also be something bigger like a cause you support, for instance the ones listed at the beginning of the article.

Step 2:

Be present to feel what the FIGHT AGAINST brings up inside of you. What do you feel creeping up inside you? Where is the focus of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions?

Step 3:

Turn the focus of what you were against to what you are actually FOR. For Instance:

  • You are AGAINST your Weight = You are FORliving a healthy lifestyle. You are FOR feeling comfortable in your clothes.
  • You are AGAINST discrimination = You are FOR seeing people as equals. You are FOR each individual being valued for his or her unique skills. You are FOR the acceptance of others.
  • You are AGAINST abuse = You are FOR being treated with dignity and respect. You are FOR having a partner who knows how to effectively communicate with love.

Pay attention to how the shift in energy makes you feel. Try to find as many positives as you can for anything that you feel the energy of against towards. Become aware of how that makes you feel, think, act, and react?

Step 4:

Look at the lists you wrote in Step 3. Do you treat yourself in a way that represents what you stand FOR? Examples:

  • If you are FOR living a healthy lifestyle…what are you doing/not doing that reflects you living a healthy lifestyle?
  • If you are FOR being treated with dignity and respect…in what ways are you showing/not showing yourself dignity and respect?

Just become aware of how you are contributing to the energy you are feeding. This can help you dig to the bottom of what you really want instead of what you are fighting AGAINST.

Thank you to those who have been following along with the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series. I’m so grateful for your time and consideration for the perspectives being shared. Open minds give us so many opportunities to better our personal and global environments. Don’t forget to read today’s letter, 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 23 – Where Am I Holding Energy of AGAINST?


With Love and Gratitude,


Rachael Wolff ©2019

5 responses to “90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 23 – The Fight Against HATE”

  1. came at the perfect moment sitting here!!!

    LOVE YOU and your work!!

    Regards, Stephanie

    On Wed, Jan 23, 2019 at 11:02 AM from a loving place wrote:

    > Rachael Wolff posted: “Part I: A Journey of Awareness What Holds Us Back: > The Unstable Foundation Day 23: The Fight Against HATE “Violence teaches > only violence. Stress teaches only stress. If you can clean up your mental > environment, we’ll clean up our physical one much more q” >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] In today’s world things can get even more confusing with so many different people, opinions, and belief systems of their own weighing in. Our ability to be involved with a global community at the touch of a finger can be very overwhelming. People are fighting harder to hold onto belief systems that were passed down. The fight AGAINST the unknown has grown more intense. If you’ve been reading, you know just how dangerous the fight AGAINST is (Day 23). […]


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