90-Day A Better Me Series
Part I: A Journey of Awareness
What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation
Day 30: Anywhere but Right Here and Now
“Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
The most efficient way to make us miserable is to keep our heads in the past and in the future. We are not either place and by focusing in a place we are not, we miss where we are. We can skip over key parts of relationships, miss grand adventures, project our pasts onto people who are here now, project our future hopes on people who aren’t capable of being apart of it, stay in jobs for the wrong reasons, live outside our means, miss important life lessons, and miss living in general…just to name a few. Those just scratch the surface of all we miss by being anywhere by right her and now.
When we aren’t here, we are operating on autopilot. In autopilot we miss the magic of nature, the joy of people laughing, the compassion for people’s pain, red flags, and warnings meant to lead us to safe places. We are living scared of repeating the past or fearing the unknown future. This is a DANGEROUS place to live. I’ve not only got some hard life lessons this way, but I missed some of the most beautiful majestic moments. I’ve missed experiencing some of the best parts of life.
Link for additional reading: Leaving Autopilot and Becoming Present
The myth of HAPPILY EVER AFTER belongs in fairytales. We destroy our current relationships of expectations of life looking a specific way. We ignore red flags flying high because many of the people who promise us this long term happiness after a short time of dating are not happy or healthy people. We are attracting people out of desperation of a future dream. We are all wearing masks in the beginning trying to figure each other out. Many times people are just flashing their insecurities around trying not to repeat the past in hopes of chasing that fairytale. We are anywhere but right here and right now when we are projecting the unknown future in our brand new relationships or hopes for a new relationship. We can have hopes and goals, but attaching to them for our happiness is the problem. Happiness and authentic joy only exist in the present moment. Have you ever stayed longer in a relationship because of the promises of a future or the hopes that he/she will go back to treating you like he/she did in the beginning? Neither place is reality. Reality is what is happening here and now.
Link for additional reading: Enjoying My Happily Ever Now
When we are focused anywhere but in this moment, we can get overwhelmed with the everyday steps of life. We pile everything onto us and try to leap a mountain in a single bound instead of taking one step at a time. We make ourselves crazy with everything we need to get done by some future time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost myself in this trap. Nothing else exists except for all the things that have to get done. We miss so much of life living in our mental to-do lists. We need it out of our heads and onto paper where we can take one task at a time, without the tornado we create by swirling it in our heads.
Focusing on our pasts does incredible damage to our now if it is used to keep us down. We can use our pasts as a weapon of mass destruction in our lives. If we are holding onto it with an iron grip, even if it’s supposed good stuff, it destroys where we are and if we don’t let go of it, it will destroy where we are going. We have choices. Sometimes others like to make it sound like we don’t, but we always have choices in how we perceive a situation. NO ONE and NO EVENT can take that away from you. Our perceptions can be our survival mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We must clean up our own perceptions before we can serve the world as our best selves.
For me, I simply see the past as important lessons. Whether they were joyful lessons or hard-hitting pick me up from the floor lessons, neither one will predict how my now or future will be. My now will be affected by aligning my head with where my feet are. When we do this: we attack people less, make healthier choices now, see clearly, and just do the best we can one step at a time. This isn’t a journey of perfection. This is a journey of awareness, strength, courage, and hope.
Anywhere but right here and now is a trap we keep ourselves in. We put ourselves in harm’s way. We fight based on unhealed wounds, which only spread more fear, shame, blame, judgment, and hate. We fight based on resentments of how we think things SHOULD be. Nothing should be any different than it is right in the moment we are in. There are lessons to learn right here and now, and the more we avoid learning them the harder the lessons we will get hit with. This is as true for us in our personal lives as it is in the world. We will keep manifesting what we don’t want if we keep our energy focused on fear, shame, blame, judgment, and hate. We will stay at war with ourselves and with the world. The way out of the madness can’t be forced on anyone. Just like the choice to live in fear can’t. We have to choose in each moment how we want to live OUR lives. With every moment we have a choice. This choice can’t be taken away with violence or other people’s views, it is ours and ours alone. We can live or die with peace and love or hate and fear. In this moment—Where do you want to be? Be there now!
This is the final day of Part I: A Journey of Awareness. In Part II (month 2) and Part III (month 3), you will get the tools, techniques, and guidance to assist you into transforming your life to be the best you and live YOUR best life. I will not tell you where your strength is to serve, you will be led on the exact path that is right for you. I’m just here to help you expose new pathways and see doors you want to be opening.
There is no one-stop shop for breaking some of these hard-wired beliefs and patterns that have kept us in the victim role of our own lives. Choosing to see my life as a classroom has opened me up to learn and get the tools I needed to live a life I love living. I didn’t find my perspectives for living a great life in one place and neither will you. When you start living your journey and taking accountability for your life, so many doors start opening! You will be led to people, places, and things (friends, professionals, classes, books, seminars, podcasts, videos, websites, just to name a few). The beautiful thing about this journey of awareness is when we are ready to open our eyes to our present moment—Our world opens up! We see that change is possible and all it takes is being willing to do something different than what we’ve done to get us out of our own way.
Just for Today
Be aware of how often you leave your present moment and feel overwhelmed with fears of the future or judgments from the past. How are those thoughts serving you? Are they contributing to the life you want to be living or are they contributing to creating more fear?
Thank you for taking this Journey of Awareness with me! Now that you have opened yourself up to the journey, let’s do the work! Join me for:
Part II: A Journey of Perspective
What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation
Don’t forget to come back later to read today’s Letter from A Better Me: Suffering from My Lack of Presence.
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2019