Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #109

I’m grateful I’m aware of how the energy of fear, lack, and separation can keep us prisoner if it goes unchecked. When we feel like a prisoner in the outside world, it’s because we are a prisoner of our own inner world. Whatever is going on inside us, reflects back to us in the world outside of us. We will see through lenses of fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance and peace depending on which energy we are feeding IN THE MOMENT! When people ask me about what I see right now, I see how the energy of fear, lack, and separation has manifested itself in the world. I see how people who are being driven by the energy of love, abundance, and peace are rising up. I also see how some people are unwilling to look at the energy of fear, lack, and separation within themselves and mistake the energy of fear for love, lack for abundance, and separation for peace.

Each human carries energies that free us and help us feel lifted and ones that keep us prisoner and keep us feeling depleted. Like I’ve discussed before, we each have light and shadow within us. This isn’t about good vs. evil. We each have a journey that will be filled with different events and circumstances that we will absorb and/or feed the energies of love, abundance, peace, fear, lack, and separation. We will get opportunities to learn from each. It only becomes a true hindrance when we are not willing to look inside and learn from the energy we are feeding, absorbing, growing, and spreading. I’ve learned to embrace my shadows within me because they always show up when I need to learn something VERY important. By acknowledging when I’m feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I get the opportunity to question what is going on inside me.

However, when the energy of fear, lack, and separation goes unchecked, we manifest chaos. We manifest corruption. We manifest HATE. We actually start contributing to the energy that we say we are against when this happens…UGH! Then when we are consumed by the energy of fear, lack, and separation, we look around and it is all that we will see. It doesn’t have to be PROVEN either. Just a headline can get a person’s story spinning in their heads to feed the cycle of fear, lack, and separation. It doesn’t matter how much evidence is presented to counter fear attacks, a person lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation will not be able to see clearly. For them, the truth is the story no matter how far fetched that it might get.

Whatever energy we feed, we create more of. Do I want to feel like a prisoner in my internal world? The answer for me is NO! So that means it’s necessary to keep checking myself, learning from what the energy of fear, lack, and separation has to teach me, and allow that lesson to feed into the energy of love, abundance, and peace in my life. That is what feels good to me. That is what feels right TO ME. That is my choice on how I want to live MY journey. I’ve seen what feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation does to my life. It skewed my view of EVERYTHING I looked at. It skewed my judgments of others. It skewed my judgments of myself. It was an ugly and miserable way to live, and I choose not to live that way anymore. I will not be a prisoner to the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I will see it for what it is, my teacher. It doesn’t just teach me about myself, it teaches me so much about the world around me. I have to be able to see it in myself, so that I have a protection from it when someone tries to feed me their fear, lack, and separation. We have to recognize it in ourselves BEFORE we can see it around us.

Today, I commit to spot where I’m feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation. In order to align with energy of love, abundance, and peace, we have to SEE anywhere we are feeding, growing, and spreading fear, lack, and separation. I talk about this a lot in both my book and my 90-Day A Better Me Series (here on my blog). We can’t fix what we aren’t willing to see. Unhealed pasts can lead to unconscious growing and spreading of fear, lack, and separation. Negative self-talk is the direct path to keeping up the spread of fear, lack, and separation. When we abuse ourselves, we project that energy out. So first and foremost, in order to see where we are leaking out fear, lack, and separation, we must truly define love. There are many definitions and interpretations of the verse I have below. I have used other versions in the past, and right now this one is resonating the most.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.

The NIV Study Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13:7, 1985, p.1752

Since this is what I believe is the definition of love, anytime I’m not operating from this place, I’m contributing to the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I’m not perfect, I have to work through the energies as they present through my interactions with my kids, partner, family, acquaintances, God, and strangers. Above all the outside interactions, I need to look at anytime I’m not supporting this definition of love within me. The more I feel the love within, the more I’m capable of feeling it around me. Knowing this definition and LIVING by it makes me very AWARE of the times I’m not here, this helps me to embrace the feelings of fear, lack, and separation and LOOK at them. I don’t beat myself up for them being there (which feeds them), I just try to learn from what they are there to teach me. I know if I hold onto them for too long without looking at them, they will manifest chaos in my life. There is a HUGE difference inside of me when I meet a challenge from a place of love, abundance, and peace vs. fear, lack, and separation. In times I’m learning from my darkness, I embrace myself with love. That is how I heal. That is how I get better. That is how I continue grow. Learning to face the energy of fear, lack, and separation inside me is a gift. I used to get stuck in the muck and feel like I was in quicksand. How do I keep my head above water? Why is all this happening to me? I swam in fear. That gets really tiring. That’s a prison. Our stories of love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation create the way we CHOOSE to see the world around us in each moment. This is why I dedicate myself daily to aligning with love, abundance, and peace.

You may see messages repeated on this blog over and over in different ways, as I wrote about on number 68, repetition is necessary and important. It’s something to watch if we are feeding messages negatively repeating in our minds too. If you like what you read here, I invite you to scroll down and follow the blog. If you already are following, you can go back and check out the different posts on this journey here.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #87

I’m grateful when God closes doors that are no longer meant for me. I feel a growth spurt coming on. I’m always amazed how this happens in my life. A little chaos gets stirred up to show me doors to close and new doors to open. The transition isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it’s downright painful! What I have learned is it is necessary in order to keep growing and expanding.

I’m a person who is very sensitive to other people’s energy. It’s part of the reason I love speaking so much. I love the feel of energy connecting. I used to think it was only possible in person, but the pandemic taught me no distance matters when energy is connecting and lifting people into the energy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s also true for the energy of fear, lack, and separation, but I definitely don’t want to put my focus there.

I honestly believe that God sends little whispers when energy isn’t aligning. I feel it’s preparing me to close a door and/or open a new one. My body will also give me energy signals. I can be talking to someone and a person says something that makes my stomach tighten up, I know whatever is being said is connecting me to fear, lack, and separation. Then, I can also feel goosebumps as a sign of connecting to Divine energy, the home of authentic joy. I call it the AWE.

I’ve been getting the door closing preparation whispers for a while, and then while I was in my highest energy, I felt the door slam. My body became constricted. I knew in that moment I needed to shut the door to a big source of fear, lack, and separation trying to invade my energy space. In part of the struggle of closing the door, I have to remember the importance of praying for those who are stuck in the energy. In order for me to stay out of their energy, I have to make sure mine is aligned with love, abundance, and peace. I don’t do this perfectly. It takes a lot of reminders. Once I gain distance from their energy, I feel this encouraging feeling and idea after idea start flowing into me. I’m grateful for the door closing. I’m so grateful I keep getting signs on how to align deeper into the energy of love, abundance, and peace.

Today, I commit to being open to the signs leading me to close doors to fear, lack, and separation. If we want to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace, we have to pay attention to where our energy slips into fear, lack, and separation. I’m learning to trust my body’s signals on this one. I’m also learning to trust that little voice. The little voice gets clearer the more we align with love, abundance, and peace. Just remember, when doors are closing it can get dark for a little bit. I don’t want to downplay that. It takes a lot of work to stay in love, abundance, and peace when you are also experiencing grief of a door closing. This could be a friendship, a job, a career path, a spiritual path, familial relationships, romantic relationships, etc. It just signifies a time of change, and change isn’t always an easy thing. We have to give ourselves space to feel through it. The feelings can be all over the place for awhile depending on how long you had the door open. It may feel like you are feeling around in the dark while you are getting prepared to open a new door. The door will open when you are ready, but sometimes we have to be in a place of stillness before the door opens. Once again, we are in a chrysalis making the necessary changes to be able to fly. Trust the process.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #38

Sometimes we forget to check on our progress. Anytime our thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligning with the energy of love, abundance, an peace, CELEBRATE with GRATITUDE. Each moment we are making choices in what energy we feed. Those really tough ones are the ones I LOVE to celebrate. When others are wanting to fuel my feelings of fear, lack, and separation, and I CHOOSE love, abundance, and peace—I feel EMPOWERED. I feel like I’ve taken the reigns in that moment and am standing in MY TRUTH. I’m so incredibly grateful!

SAMSUNG DIGITAL MOVIE

Today’s challenge actually comes from my book. Writing our own personal mission statement is a way to committing to living in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. Think of companies, especially non-profits aimed at helping others. When someone sees a mission statement, they know what that organization stands for. The best ones won’t say anything that they are against. When we can only talk about the things we are against, we are coming from a place of fear, lack, and separation.

How do you want to serve our planet and humanity from a place of love, abundance, and peace?

What does that look like to you?

Sit down and really figure this out. Once you have it down, write it on a 3×5 card and put it up somewhere you will always look at it. This is your reminder of how you want to be living. When you know this and can see it in front of you, it makes it easier to actually live, make choices, and stay focused on the bigger picture— instead of getting caught up in the chaos around you. Our mission statement brings hope and passion into our thinking, feelings, and actions. If you want to fully commit to living in the energy of love, abundance, and peace—Start now! Write out your mission statement. Notice how writing it and stating it feels inside you. Don’t be surprised when all these little sparks are created, because you are about to light the world up in the best of ways.

Have you signed-up to get the daily aligning emailed to you?

With Love, ABUNDANCE, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

If you like this exercise, Letters from a Better Me is filled with practical ways to start living life as your best self.

Don’t Let Fear Dictate Your Humanity

Life can be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, twists and turns, along with unexpected jolts to our systems. For some, a roller coaster lights a fire inside us and gets our energy pumping in the best of ways. For others, it ties stomachs in knots and causes great anxiety. We will not all respond to the challenges in life the same way even if they are global challenges.

We can only ever do the best we can with what we have. No matter the challenge; DON’T LOSE YOUR HUMANITY. In times of struggle, remember to be kind. Not only to others, but to yourself. Experiencing fear can affect our internal systems in VERY negative ways to the point of creating more problems and doing more damage. When we tear ourselves down inside, especially unconsciously, our communications with others struggle. We contribute to chaos instead of peace; problems instead of solutions.

Please, remember that peoples fears are heightened for a myriad of different reasons. Some we may see and others we won’t. We can educate without tearing someone else down. We can find solutions without contributing to the chaos. Each person is living according to their own perspectives of truth.

Just put effort into being your BEST you. You are responsible and accountable for the energy you put out in the world. Make sure it’s the energy you want to see coming back to you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

Other purchasing options offered here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/book/

Dear Fear: A Letter from A Better Me

Dear Fear,

I know you have served me in the past and protected me at times. I thank you for your service in keeping me safe. The problem is now I don’t need protection like I did when I was a child.  Living in your presence on a daily basis is holding me back. I keep attracting more negativity in my life to be afraid of in order to keep you alive and fed.

This doesn’t serve me, or any of the people I love. I can’t blame you, because I gave you power over my life. Some of it I did unconsciously, but other times I knew exactly what I was doing. Now I need to release you and find different ways to cope with the situations in front of me. I’ve realized that if you are in control, love has no room to come through. Your power has been a detriment to my relationships and a drain on my emotions. 

I no longer use you to define my worth. I will not belittle myself in fear of not being loved by others, because I know I’m putting that fearful energy out there and pushing away love. I deserve to feel love from myself. I don’t need your voice in my head making me feel like I’m not good enough. I am!                  

Fear is the gateway energy to way too many bad things. I know when I am living in fear; anger, jealousy, shame, prejudice, and blame are quick to follow in order to support the fear. When I’m not in fear, I don’t have to worry about how others are choosing to live their lives. I’m not in competition with anyone else. I just strive to do my best and help others do their best along the way.  I’ve discovered I’m a better person without fear running my life. I’m free to show more love to myself, others, animals, and the environment. 

I’m also aware of how fearful thinking has skewed my view of reality and took away my appreciation for the present moment. I don’t want to do that to myself, or the people I’m with anymore. Life is too precious to be avoiding it.  My life will no longer revolve around you. 

I no longer need you to help me find solutions. When you are at the core of the decision-making the solutions are not in the best interests for anyone or anything involved. I’m tired of feeling not enough, and that is what believing in you has done to me. I’m so scared of everything, I don’t know what is a real authentic fear and what isn’t. 

I’m tired of not being able to trust my gut because you are weaving a web of terror on my psyche. It makes doing the right thing so much harder, and I’m usually the one who gets hurt in the end if I depend on you.  I’m no longer in need of an energy that will keep me down. I release you so that I can give space for joy, love, and hope to take over my life.  I have finally realized that good solutions don’t come from negative energy.  I’m truly ready to start seeing things differently through love and grace.  

Today, my focus is bringing more good into the world by focusing my energy on the things that will help myself and others live a better life today. I no longer have to fear the unknown future. When I’m free of you my mind clears to make the best informed decisions. I can trust my heart and the energy I put out into the Universe. I can read the warning signs without losing myself to you. I will make better decisions when you are not at the core of my thought process. Today will be a better day without you consuming my thoughts and actions. I lovingly send your energy out into the Universe to be released and transformed.

With love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2017

13 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

You can also purchase the book at Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million (BAM), Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more. You can find some of the links below.

3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

Self-abuse is one of the many ways our self-hate, low self-esteem, lack of worth, and negative self-image manifest themselves. We create clutter both inwardly and outwardly when we don’t become self-aware of how we are treating ourselves. This doesn’t help us lead productive lives. This doesn’t help us stay away from the chaos and drama that surrounds us. The more we hate ourselves and treat ourselves with disrespect, the more chaos and drama we will attract to our lives. The clutter in our minds is fuel for the fear, hate, shame, guilt, and violence that is spreading in and around us.

If we want things to get better around us, we have to start within us. Our energy that we put into the world comes from the energy we are feeding ourselves daily. If we want to stop the abuse, we have to stop creating a space where we are apart of the problem. Self-abuse is not helping us or anyone else! When we self-abuse we are showing others that it’s okay to disrespect us, walk on us, and treat us as if we have no value. Many times people don’t even know that that is the way we feel, because our own behaviors have led them to believe that what they are doing is acceptable.

For years, I wanted to be the victim of my own thinking. I found a sick pleasure in being the doormat, but what I didn’t want to see is that I laid down in front of the person who chose to walk across my back. I was trying to find my value because I hated myself so much that I just gave myself away over and over expecting someone to see what I couldn’t. Our lack of value clutters our minds and distorts our realities into believing that we are trapped and that we can’t stop what is happening to us. Just the thought is self-sabotaging and attracts more of what we don’t want.

When my mind is cluttered, it spreads into my personal spaces. I’ve had my bed so covered in stuff that I have barely been able to fit on it to sleep. That’s when I know I have some real cleaning to do. The last time my bed was like that I dove head-first into figuring out how and why I kept sabotaging myself. It was time for me to look at how I was treating myself.

Here are three ways you can help yourself:

1. Become Aware of the Clutter —INVENTORY NEGATIVE MESSAGES

  • How do you talk to yourself when you are looking in the mirror?
  • What do you think about all your features?
  • What do you think about the person you are?
  • How do you feel about how your life looks to you when you look in the mirror?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake for the first time?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you’ve repeated a mistake?

This inventory won’t be done in one sitting. As life situations come up, see how you are talking to yourself:

  • Are you calling yourself names?
  • Are you criticizing yourself?
  • Are you beating yourself with an emotional 2×4?

Just to give you an idea, life situations can still hit me off-guard from time to time and I go back through these steps in order to keep my headspace clean and clutter free.

2. Cleaning out the Clutter—INSIDE AND OUT

  • Start a self-love Journal —Pick a number of days you will commit 35, 45, and/or 90 days. Each day write a minimum of three things you like about yourself. Here’s a hint, if you spot certain positive qualities in others it’s usually because you have them yourself. Do your best not to repeat, especially in the beginning. As you see more and more things you like about yourself, then you can start reusing ones that you are really connecting to.
  • Clean up your physical clutter—Start with a drawer and just keep going. Throw away what you don’t need. Pitch, sell, or donate the things that are just taking up space in your life. Make space for what you want more of in your life. Remember, clear space is peaceful space.

3. Keep the Space Clean—STAY AWARE OF WHERE YOUR MIND GOES

  • Living in gratitude is the best way to keep your space clean. Anytime our minds go to lack, deprivation, fear, hate, blame, etc. we are creating more clutter.
  • Watch your reactions to people. I find this one entertaining. If  a person’s actions work you up: First question your own thinking about what is happening to see if you are fully aware of where your reaction is coming from. Second, I imagine the person saying or doing whatever it is to themselves. Our negative behaviors start from how we are treating ourselves, so we can gain clarity about the situation if we are not taking the person personally. This doesn’t mean we have to accept unacceptable behavior. We just don’t add our own clutter. How someone treats us shows us their love or fear that they are internally dealing with. How we respond to them shows us where we are.
  • Stop the Cycle of abuse. If you see, hear, or feel abusive thoughts about yourself come up, correct them and clean up your self-talk. Treat yourself with love, respect, loyalty, honesty, and compassion. We have to have it inside us before we have a chance of cleaning up what’s around us.
  • Give from a Loving Place. This means you are giving because you want to, not because you think it will make you worthy of someone else’s time, affection, love, respect, etc.

Side effects of these steps are: sleep better, eat healthier, enjoy self-care, kinder thoughts, less judgmental towards others, more compassionate, attract healthier people to our personal and professional lives, more opportunities to do good in the world, appreciate peace, and so many more. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Did what you just read resonate with you? I hope you will explore FromALovingPlace.com and keep reading. I’ll be bringing a new series to the blog starting September 1, 2019. If you are not following along, make sure to sign-up below.

For my female readers, I have EXCITING news! Letters from A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World is available for pre-order! Click the link to order your copy today!

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 43 – Perspectives of Truth

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

 

Day 43: Perspectives of Truth

“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

-Anais Nin

We all bring a unique perspective to this life. Certain beliefs are ingrained in our heads before we even know what is going on. Others are created through the experiences in our lives. No two perspectives are exactly alike. So the question is why do we get so upset when people don’t see the world exactly as we do? Why do we feel the need to throw judgment and blame all over the place? We are all here learning. We are all trying to find our way. We are all going to have learning experiences that take us through the trenches in some way or other. Each of us has a choice of how to interpret life. Why do we feel the need to insist on our own way? FEAR! Once we see our fight to be right out of  a place of darkness is us fighting fear with fear, we give ourselves space to see there are choices we can make that won’t cause us to spread our darkness.

The way I’ve learned to stay open and not close myself off is interpreting  my and other people’s beliefs as perspectives of truth. When I came to understand that what I believe is a perspective of truth, I became more open to see that there are other ways to look at things. Not only do I have the opportunity to change what I believe if it doesn’t work in my life, everyone gets that choice.

Seeing the world through perspectives of truth helped me understand that no one can be defined by a title. I call this the “ALL” dilemma. When we use titles to define a particular group of people, we stop seeing the individuals. We lump them into a set of belief systems that I guarantee you not ALL the individuals of the group have. No person can be defined by the titles they carry. We take away people’s humanity and individual perspectives when we define them in a group. We contribute to the darkness when we define individuals because of the groups they fall in. We close our minds to see them. We dim our own lights by our judgments. In order to make our light shine as bright as possible, we have to be willing to see beyond titles. We have to see the individuals in front of us, including the person looking back at us in the mirror.

When we choose to see ourselves and others beyond the titles, we see love (light) and fear (dark) clearly. By understanding that we are all seeing our lives through perspectives of truth helps us to gain more interest in understanding where people are coming from. Are their perspectives of truth being created by love or by fear?

We can hear the words of Martin Luther King Jr. and Adolf Hitler to know where each of them stood when it comes to being lead by love and fear. Hate (fear) encourages more hate. Love encourages more love.

Martin Luther King Jr. wasn’t spreading hate. He felt a love so deep for humanity that he made it his mission to help individuals see each other through eyes of love. Did everyone take his messages that way? Of course not, some people following him and/or who were inspired by him still had too much fear, pain, hate, judgment, in their hearts to hear the entire message, even Martin Luther King Jr. used words that for some triggered fearful actions instead of loving ones. Some people who were lost in their darkness defined him in a category of people and hated him just for that. MLK used words like “fight” which can confuse a message because that word can trigger people’s darkness. If we are aware of what is inside of us, we can differentiate that he was telling people to STAND UP for themselves and who they are as individuals who deserved to be treated equally. He wanted people to STAND UP for their worth, humanity, decency, and love. He wanted both sides to STAND UP. His perspectives of truth have inspired individuals on the path to be better for generations and his messages will continue to live on, yet just because individuals see him as an inspiration doesn’t mean they will have ALL the exact same perspectives of truth as he did. The love in him is recognized by the love in others. If we are inspired by messages of love, his perspectives of truth about love will stand out to us.

Adolf Hitler preached messages of fear, separation, judgment, blame, and entitlement. All of these messages are fueled by the darkness within an individual. This is a person who’s perspectives of truth led him to believe that the only way to overcome his fears were to eliminate the people he feared. He didn’t see individuals. He didn’t see humanity. He was lost in his internal belief systems run by fear. His messages will live on in people who attach to similar fearful messages of separation, entitlement, judgment, and separation. His messages live in individuals who can’t find their way out of their own fears so they have to blame people and/or groups around them. When we let our fears fuel the HATE for a group of people without investigating the individuals. We are following the darkness in ourselves. We will look at the people in our lives through dark glasses. We will be drawn to the darkness in others. We will lead or be led through perspectives of truth created by fears. As the quote from Anais Nin says up above, “We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” It is important to be clear on how we are choosing to view the world.

If we want to be led by perspectives of truth created by love, we need put our focus on individuals who inspire us to love more and be better. We have to be aware when people are trying to lead us by perspectives of truth created by fear. Individuals with healthy perspectives of truth do not feel the need to attack others or themselves. They are people who are inspired by the light within themselves to be the best individuals they can be. They choose perspectives of truth that light the way and can shine light in the dark corners. If we want to see how bright we can shine, we have to surround ourselves with as much light as we can. Searching out perspectives of truth is an AMAZING journey within itself. All we have to do is say we want it and the doors start opening.

Just for Today

Answer these questions: What perspectives of truth have you been following that create more fear in your life? What perspectives of truth have you been following that create more love in your life? Do you want to lead or be led by perspectives of truth created by fear or perspectives of truth created by love?

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff © 2019

 

Read today’s Letter from A Better Me, 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 43 – Understanding Perspectives of Truth

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 30 – Anywhere but Right Here and Now

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 30: Anywhere but Right Here and Now

“Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

-Buddha

The most efficient way to make us miserable is to keep our heads in the past and in the future. We are not either place and by focusing in a place we are not, we miss where we are. We can skip over key parts of relationships, miss grand adventures, project our pasts onto people who are here now, project our future hopes on people who aren’t capable of being apart of it, stay in jobs for the wrong reasons, live outside our means, miss important life lessons, and miss living in general…just to name a few. Those just scratch the surface of all we miss by being anywhere by right her and now.

When we aren’t here, we are operating on autopilot. In autopilot we miss the magic of nature, the joy of people laughing, the compassion for people’s pain, red flags, and warnings meant to lead us to safe places. We are living scared of repeating the past or fearing the unknown future. This is a DANGEROUS place to live. I’ve not only got some hard life lessons this way, but I missed some of the most beautiful majestic moments. I’ve missed experiencing some of the best parts of life.

Link for additional reading: Leaving Autopilot and Becoming Present

The myth of HAPPILY EVER AFTER belongs in fairytales. We destroy our current relationships of expectations of life looking a specific way. We ignore red flags flying high because many of the people who promise us this long term happiness after a short time of dating are not happy or healthy people. We are attracting people out of desperation of a future dream. We are all wearing masks in the beginning trying to figure each other out. Many times people are just flashing their insecurities around trying not to repeat the past in hopes of chasing that fairytale. We are anywhere but right here and right now when we are projecting the unknown future in our brand new relationships or hopes for a new relationship. We can have hopes and goals, but attaching to them for our happiness is the problem. Happiness and authentic joy only exist in the present moment. Have you ever stayed longer in a relationship because of the promises of a future or the hopes that he/she will go back to treating you like he/she did in the beginning? Neither place is reality. Reality is what is happening here and now.

Link for additional reading: Enjoying My Happily Ever Now

When we are focused anywhere but in this moment, we can get overwhelmed with the everyday steps of life. We pile everything onto us and try to leap a mountain in a single bound instead of taking one step at a time. We make ourselves crazy with everything we need to get done by some future time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost myself in this trap. Nothing else exists except for all the things that have to get done. We miss so much of life living in our mental to-do lists. We need it out of our heads and onto paper where we can take one task at a time, without the tornado we create by swirling it in our heads.

Focusing on our pasts does incredible damage to our now if it is used to keep us down. We can use our pasts as a weapon of mass destruction in our lives. If we are holding onto it with an iron grip, even if it’s supposed good stuff, it destroys where we are and if we don’t let go of it, it will destroy where we are going. We have choices. Sometimes others like to make it sound like we don’t, but we always have choices in how we perceive a situation. NO ONE and NO EVENT can take that away from you. Our perceptions can be our survival mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. We must clean up our own perceptions before we can serve the world as our best selves.

For me, I simply see the past as important lessons. Whether they were joyful lessons or hard-hitting pick me up from the floor lessons, neither one will predict how my now or future will be. My now will be affected by aligning my head with where my feet are. When we do this: we attack people less, make healthier choices now, see clearly, and just do the best we can one step at a time. This isn’t a journey of perfection. This is a journey of awareness, strength, courage, and hope.

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Anywhere but right here and now is a trap we keep ourselves in. We put ourselves in harm’s way. We fight based on unhealed wounds, which only spread more fear, shame, blame, judgment, and hate. We fight based on resentments of how we think things SHOULD be. Nothing should be any different than it is right in the moment we are in. There are lessons to learn right here and now, and the more we avoid learning them the harder the lessons we will get hit with. This is as true for us in our personal lives as it is in the world. We will keep manifesting what we don’t want if we keep our energy focused on fear, shame, blame, judgment, and hate. We will stay at war with ourselves and with the world. The way out of the madness can’t be forced on anyone. Just like the choice to live in fear can’t. We have to choose in each moment how we want to live OUR lives. With every moment we have a choice. This choice can’t be taken away with violence or other people’s views, it is ours and ours alone. We can live or die with peace and love or hate and fear. In this moment—Where do you want to be? Be there now!

This is the final day of Part I: A Journey of Awareness. In Part II (month 2) and Part III (month 3), you will get the tools, techniques, and guidance to assist you into transforming your life to be the best you and live YOUR best life. I will not tell you where your strength is to serve, you will be led on the exact path that is right for you. I’m just here to help you expose new pathways and see doors you want to be opening.

There is no one-stop shop for breaking some of these hard-wired beliefs and patterns that have kept us in the victim role of our own lives. Choosing to see my life as a classroom has opened me up to learn and get the tools I needed to live a life I love living. I didn’t find my perspectives for living a great life in one place and neither will you. When you start living your journey and taking accountability for your life, so many doors start opening! You will be led to people, places, and things (friends, professionals, classes, books, seminars, podcasts, videos, websites, just to name a few). The beautiful thing about this journey of awareness is when we are ready to open our eyes to our present moment—Our world opens up! We see that change is possible and all it takes is being willing to do something different than what we’ve done to get us out of our own way.

Just for Today

Be aware of how often you leave your present moment and feel overwhelmed with fears of the future or judgments from the past.  How are those thoughts serving you? Are they contributing to the life you want to be living or are they contributing to creating more fear?

Thank you for taking this Journey of Awareness  with me! Now that you have opened yourself up to the journey, let’s do the work! Join me for:

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Don’t forget to come back later to read today’s Letter from A Better Me! 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 30 – Suffering from My Lack of Presence

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 16 – Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 16: Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

-Robert Anthony

It’s interesting to watch how we get caught in acts of blaming and shaming because of our expectations of others, sometimes without knowing anything about the person. In a second we can forget that the person we are talking about is somebody’s daughter, son, brothers, sister, husband, wife, mother, father, boss, employee, and the list goes on. We forget the people we are throwing blame at are human too. We forget to ask ourselves how would we feel if someone smeared our mistakes all over the place before we had a chance to even see the error of our ways? Sometimes, we can be so quick to pounce we don’t even give the person a chance to exhale an apology if they saw their own mistake instantly. Sometimes we forget how it is when our emotions are leading us and we don’t ALWAYS say or do what is in the best interest for ourselves or someone else. We forget that the person who made the mistake could be innocent of the intention that we put on their actions. Anytime we reach out without the whole view of the story, and throw shame and blame out there, we are perpetuating the cycle.

Does this mean that people who intentionally hurt others should get off the hook and not be held responsible for their choices, which endanger the life or lives of others? Of course not! Not only is it necessary, but sometimes our own self-care means standing up for ourselves and others to prevent these kinds of things from happening to someone else. If our act is one of protecting ourselves and others, that feels good. We don’t have to bash, shame, and blame, in order to do that. Stating facts isn’t shaming or blaming.

I will tell you from personal experience, I once had to write out a testimony to prove why a person was a danger to society. I didn’t get into all the emotions about why I thought they were a danger, and I was VERY emotionally tied to the situation. I simply listed facts and incidents that proved that he was a danger. The courts responded by protecting the innocent people who were involved. I didn’t feel bad about anything I wrote, because I wrote facts. I didn’t say, lock him up and throw away the key. He is an evil human being who doesn’t deserve air. I wrote down things that were about him having to take responsibility for his actions. I know a person has to be filled with fear, shame, judgment, and hate to hurt someone. Healthy people don’t seek to hurt someone else. Perpetuating blame cycles hurts more than just people. It hurts learning institutions, governments, corporations, environments, countries, and the entire global economy.

Perpetuating blame keeps us from finding healthy solutions that are best for ourselves and the majority. Instead, we focus on blame and we think it benefits a minority of people. Then we blame those people for getting us to where we are, the cycle grows and expands until we find ourselves in a constant state of internal and external war. We can’t escape! We keep seeing it everywhere we turn, because if we are engaging in it, we are supporting the energy of it. Yesterday, I spoke about how even self-blame is part of this toxic cycle. We just keep perpetuating and focusing on all the wrong places and to what avail?

Even take something simple like sporting events, getting so worked up about what people did or didn’t do, blaming them for a failure of a play. We are watching from the outside! We are not in their situation. They can’t see what we see. They have a small view of the situation. Everything is easier to see when you have a view of the whole picture. None of us have the whole view of life and of the circumstances leading up to the event happening in front of our eyes. We are looking through a straw in our own life; we can’t possibly know how we would react until all the cards are in place. We can’t expect others to either.

Each of us have a choice to stay in the energy of blame if we want to. If we choose blame, we will stay victims to other people’s actions and we will continue to attract more of what we are putting out there according to the Law of Attraction. Then according to Karma we will get back whatever we put out. So between the two of them, we will feel like we have to be ready to fight. We will attract people and situations where people are ready to fight too. They might even be disguised in beautiful packages. This energy leaks into great causes everyday by focusing more on what the cause is against than what it is for. Seeing this in the world always reminds me of the quote by Mother Teresa:

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Projecting blame comes from deep inside of us. We have to deal with our own issues of self-blame before we can project out the love we want to see in the world. Otherwise, our own toxic cycle emanates from us even when we are attempting to spread love. We can’t fix what’s outside us first and then expect that to fix our insides. That is us blaming our outside for how we feel inside, once again perpetuating the blame cycle.

I’m not writing this 90-Day A Better Me Series to force anybody to change what they believe. I just know that these are the transformations that I’ve made over the years that have changed my life. Becoming aware of my perspectives of truth, accepting responsibility for what is going on inside of me, and taking action with the vision of the life I want in my heart; have led me to follow my dreams. I’ve met the most amazing teachers and been able to assist others in seeing their best selves. I have support and love all around me. The rewards of living this life have been endless. Even when the hard stuff comes, it doesn’t break me down like it once did. The pain that used to last months and sometimes years, has worked it’s way down for few hours or at most a couple days. We each get to choose if we are ready to let go of what is causing us to live a life full of internal pain and suffering, but until we clean up our internal world, our external world will continue to be a place that will bring us suffering and we will continue to blame what is going on outside of us for what we are feeling inside…the blame cycle will continue to have power over our lives.

Just for Today

Get a straw or something that has a hole the size of a standard straw. You can even make it with our hands if you don’t have anything. Look up close or print out the two the two spheres below. If you are looking at the center of the fear sphere, what do you see? If you are looking inside the hope sphere, what do you see? If we only have a straw view of our own lives, where do you want to focus your energy?

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With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 16 – How I’m Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Keep following along, things are about to hit the core of why blame is so dangerous.

 

If your ready to move your straw to the center of Hope, Join me:

35-DAY A BETTER ME BOOT CAMP

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 6 – The Fear of Religion

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 6: The Fear of Religion

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

-Yoda

Some may think I’m crazy for writing this. Why? FEAR! Fear over religions trigger personal attacks, rage, murder, war, and self-destruction. Does it mean religions are bad— NO! If you’ve been following the series you will remember reading about the power of AGAINST. You may have heard or said I’m spiritual, not religious. Even that can be based on fear. It doesn’t mean it is, but we have to really investigate the feelings behind our choices of any spiritual practices to know if they are based in fear or love. If a person is AGAINST religion, that is based in fear. It still will have the same negative effect on our systems even if we try to hide it from others and ourselves.

Side Note: Some people will struggle to get through this piece. It might trigger all kinds of emotions. If you are one of these people, write all the feelings and thoughts down on a piece of paper. Then later, write out your definitions of love and fear. Then see which category your thoughts and feelings fall under. Remember Part I is all about becoming AWARE.(PLEASE DO NOT SPREAD FEAR OR HATE if that is what comes up. This experience is a personal experience for you to investigate how you are choosing to live. It’s not about judging anyone else.)

I’m not here to push religion or spirituality down anybody’s throat. I’m just asking people to look inside and be aware of their own thoughts and feelings about their own religious/spiritual practices and those of others. This whole series is meant to open our minds to what holds us back, how to work with what we got, and tools to move through any unwanted/unhealthy patterns to lead us to being the best versions of ourselves.

I want you to take a second to think about the your family, your friend group, or an organized group you belong to and answer these questions:

  • Do you all think exactly the same?
  • Do you practice your religion and/or spirituality exactly the same way?
  • Do you express love, joy, anger, or fear in the same exact way?
  • Do you express your thoughts in the same way?

Let’s take a more specific topic, Christians?

  • Does anyone who says their Christian follow the same exact religious practices?
  • Does each church that practices Christianity have the same exact practices and beliefs?
  • Does each person who practices Christianity express love, joy, anger of fear in the same way?
  • Does each person who practices Christianity believe in EVERY single concept that his or her religious sector preaches?
  • Do Christians make mistakes?
  • Can Christians interpret the Bible differently from church to church and person to person?

You can take ANY religion and see the answers are all the same. We are all human and each one of us will interpret words differently based on our own personal/family experiences. How can ANY of us as individuals talk about any group of people and assume ALL of them are any specific way? FEAR whispers in our ears from our own pasts, family, friends, media, and sometimes our religious leaders. Think about my story of the alligator in day 4, fear drove the woman across the lake to personally attack me. Fear leads us to attack what we don’t know, because we haven’t taken the time to investigate what we fear.

When I was a child, I had a negative experience in church. Church didn’t feel safe. My fear triggers would get ignited and I would actually feel bad about myself being there. I knew that didn’t feel right. Throughout my youth, I would go to different places of religious practices with friends’ families. In some, I would feel guilty and ashamed that I wasn’t a better person.  In others, I felt alive, free, happy, and inspired to be the best I could be. The difference that I didn’t understand until much later was that I was inspired by ones that told stories of loving actions and preached love. I felt frozen and shutdown with ones that preached fear.

After a lot of formal education on religious practices (through cultural anthropology, diversity in psychology, and course in the history of religion), questions, and personal experiences I found the moment where my nervous system was triggered. Anytime, I came out feeling there was judging, shaming, and/or condemning. Fear wreaked havoc and created an internal chaos inside me. If the stories inspired loving action my body and my spirit felt full and I would want to rush out of there to take loving action.  Fear froze me, and love inspired me.

What I realized that this could be a person’s experience in any religious practice. Each place of worship will have someone in charge who has to interpret what they worship and each leader will perceive the messages differently. They are just as human as we are. If their personal practice is led by fear, they will teach more fear. If their personal experience is focused on love, they will see the love in what the stories and concepts they are spreading. Understanding this showed me how personal a person’s religious and spiritual practice is.

If we don’t understand another person’s personal religious practices to the point where it affects our nervous systems and causes us fear, that’s not healthy.  The best thing we can do for our own health is talk to people to help us understand.  This doesn’t mean to have to believe what they do. It’s about seeing the love and/or fear for what it is. A person’s individual choice in how to live.

It took me years of accepting verbal and emotional abuse before I realized how long I’ve been taught to fear and mix that concept with what love was. I was taught to fear an ALL POWERFUL BEING in the name of love. I blamed church for a long time for that which only perpetuated more fear.  When I found the definition of love that felt right to me, it was from the Bible.

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Now, my spiritual practice and how I CHOOSE to live is based around that definition and any place I go that doesn’t practice that definition of love, isn’t the place for me. I’m no longer making my choices about religion and spirituality based on fear. The God I believe in is ALL loving and that means it’s my job to love myself and others through eyes of love. That’s why I can read stories from any religion that inspire love and be moved. Love has opened me up to experience more and more love without boundaries of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, and/or any other belief systems. My spirituality is about feeling and expressing love to every person who is put on my path. Sometimes, I fail out of fears that creep in.

Even then, I don’t beat myself up or shame myself over it. I just keep trying to do better next time. My mistakes teach me and are usually what I need to go even deeper into my practice of loving action. That is why I started From A Loving Place.  If I can see love in someone’s religious/spiritual practices, I will listen in AWE! I don’t have to believe what someone else believes, that is what is so powerful about love. I just have to see the love in someone’s heart and I can connect.  If I do see fear in someone’s thoughts and actions, I try my best to be as loving as I can. Sometimes that means keeping my distance because that is me showing love to myself. Other times it means I will be kind and loving to help a person understand where I’m coming from. Then there are times where I just have to pray for them to find their way out of fear and hate.

Love doesn’t attack others. Love doesn’t shame others. Love doesn’t leave nasty messages on social media. Love doesn’t seek revenge. Love doesn’t make other people feel small. Love doesn’t name-call. Love doesn’t create our internal systems to tighten up and freeze. FEAR does all of that.  When we are engaging in our fears we hurt ourselves and others sometimes unconsciously and other times very consciously.

I don’t know anyone personally that engages in a spiritual/ religious practice with the intention to hurt themselves or others. That is why it is so important to be vigilant with ourselves to make sure that we are not letting our confusion of fear and love lead us to do things that do hurt ourselves and others.

We choose to act in fear and we choose to act in love. We are here to learn to be better, not beat ourselves up over past choices. Our experiences are our lessons and we can choose to live in fear or love at any given moment. In the next few weeks we will look at the power of shame, blame, judgment, and hate. These are all to make us AWARE of how living in fear affects us.  Part I will be challenging at times and it will trigger our fears because they want to stay alive in us. You might not agree with everything I say in any of these pieces. All I’m asking you do is be open to listen to what is triggering you and write it down in a journal. Then through the process look back and see if anything has shifted even slightly.

Just for Today

Look at your own personal views on religion and spiritual practices and assess which ones come from a place of fear and which views come from a place of love. Look at how each view makes your body feel.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff © 2019

I hope you have chose to come on this journey and follow From A Loving Place. Don’t forget to check-out today’s companion piece:90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 6 – My Fear of Religion

Please remember to be kind to yourself during this process of becoming aware. We only ever can do the best we can at any given moment. We don’t need to beat ourselves up for not being perfect. None of us are. That is the human experience. As long as we are learning and growing– We are on the right path. Sending out love and light to everyone who is on this journey with me.