Quotes That Make My Soul Sing #18

“If you catch yourself in the track of fear, just by having that awareness, you can shift your attention into the track of love.”

Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

I love how this works! Just bringing attention to my stories wrapped in fear help me to shift out of them. I’ve been catching myself more and more and the results are amazing. My relationships with the people I love have become so much stronger. It’s the fearful stories playing in my head that get in my way of living my best life. Fearful thoughts are a part of this journey, it’s what we do with them that matters. Being able to spot them and move away from them is a gift that keeps on giving.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me

Quotes That Make My Soul Sing #13

“The other side of resisting fear is freedom.”

Tara Brach, PH.D., Radical Acceptance

In a world of avoidance, there is great pain. Pain to our bodies, minds, souls, and relationships with both ourselves and others. Even our relationship with the God of our understanding becomes a prison when we resist what is really going on inside of us. I’ve discovered that my feelings are there for a reason. Fear is not my enemy, but my pathway to seeing myself more clearly. Discovering the difference between feeling my feelings without living in the energy of those painful feelings has set me free. Living in repetitive stories of fear, kept me prisoner. When I face the feeling of fear, the fear lessens. I then have the clarity I need to make healthy decisions. My friend Sarah once told me, “The instructions to get out of the box are on the outside of the box.” Understanding that I had to get out of my story, allow myself to feel, and step out of the box, has helped me to make healthier decisions for myself, which then benefits all the relationships in my life.

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With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me


Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #218

I’m grateful I can spot people lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. The longer I’ve been on the road of aligning with love, abundance, and peace, the faster I can spot people lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I don’t have to take them personally now. I know their beliefs are keeping them hostage. I also know that I can’t free them from themselves. That is their work to do on their timeline. Being able to spot other people’s fear, lack, and separation helps to keep my energy from unconsciously falling into the energy. It’s that reminder for me to stay present! Only in the present moment can I stay aligned with love, abundance, peace. The energy of fear, lack, and separation happens in the unhealed past and the unknown future that is attached to beliefs of fear, lack, and separation.

Today, I commit to being aware of when someone is lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I want to be clear, just because I see that someone is lost in this energy doesn’t mean I will confront a person on it. I found that is typically a VERY BAD idea! If someone in this energy feels like they are being attacked, it’s more likely to shift my energy into the energy of fear, lack, and separation than to help them shift out of being aligned there. Recognizing is simply there to help me to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace while I’m interacting with a person, and that takes me staying present.

I learned from my own experiences when we try to force someone to be where they are not, we can be helping to keep them in a shame spiral. Living in our shame and guilt keep us in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I love being able to spot people’s alignment, because the last thing I want to do is unintentionally make it worse or go down with them. Being able to spot it helps me to implement my healthy boundaries. When I spot someone in this energy, I do my best to focus my energy on staying in love, abundance, and peace. This helps me to stay calm, stay non-reactive, stay compassionate, and stay open for communication opportunities. This is one of the reasons I named this blog and my Facebook page, From A Loving Place. It’s the reminder to stay aligned with love no matter what the other person is doing.

When I’m responding to someone who is reacting to a post I do from the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I take a deep breath and say a little prayer asking for guidance on how to respond from a loving place. If I can’t spot that they are aligned with fear, lack, and separation, I could quickly go into a defensive mode and react from a place of I’m right and they are wrong, which aligns me with fear, lack, and separation. When I see clearly that a person is in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I can respond and start out by saying, “That’s an interesting perspective.” This shows them that I heard what they said. Then I can go on to say, “My perspective is…thank you for letting me know how this effected you looking through your lens of perspective.”

I trust my intuition a lot in these interactions. I will get the guidance on how to proceed with this person. Sometimes that means to walk away and not engage with the person’s energy at all. Taking long deep breaths before I react is a good sign that I will be able to respond from a loving place, however that looks.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (Click title to find out more)

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #210

I’m grateful for the feeling of release that comes from letting my fear, lack, and separation out on paper. I’ve learned some dangerous patterns in my life as it pertains to feelings. I’ve seen patterns of numbing, avoiding, and suppressing feelings passed down for generations. I’ve seen patterns of shame for feelings and actions that were aligned with the energy of fear, lack, and separation, which only made the energy stronger. I felt so much shame and guilt that I thought people were better off without me, yet I had a smile on my face as I pretended to be okay. It took me a long time to see that living a better life didn’t mean I spoke in shiny happy rainbow colors all the time. Just like everyone else who lives authentically, I have to FEEL THROUGH whatever challenges that come my way.

I have to face myself when I feel feelings that are aligned with fear, lack, and separation. I know the dangers of living in that energy for way too long. I know that pretending the feelings aren’t their only makes the feelings stronger. The people I love get hurt the longer I stay in this energy, because I start leaking the energy out all around me.

The best thing I can do for myself and others is to get my shit down on paper. I need to see the weeds I’ve planted in my internal garden in order to pull them out at the roots. Seeing my shadow on paper isn’t always easy, but there is something magical that happens when I see her on paper, I take away her power to destroy me. I get to exhale and the feel the release of her toxic energy on my body, mind, and soul. Let me make this very clear. We are not evil because we have a shadow, darkness, whatever you want to call it. We are human. The experiencing of feelings and having thoughts that are aligned with fear, lack, and separation isn’t EVIL. It’s a learning opportunity.

We only lose ourselves to our darkness when we refuse to look at it and take responsibility for it. When we blame others for our shadow, we make our shadow bigger and give it more power. The first step to working with our shadows in a healthy way is to recognize them. For me, recognizing mine is about physically seeing her. I do that by allowing myself to write in her voice. I feel such an amazing sense of relief getting her out of my body. It’s amazing the weight I feel when I refuse to look at her and the lessons she has to teach me about the perspectives of truth (beliefs) of mine that are still aligned with fear, lack, and separation.

I know when I feel the release, I’ve done my work. I went deep enough. I’ve seen what I was meant to see in this moment, because letting go of fear, lack, and separation happens in layers. We only get what we are equipped to face. The stronger we get, the more that is revealed. For me, this has happened in a natural progression. Anytime I’ve tried to force being ready for what I’m not ready for, I struggle and still don’t get the answers LOL. I’ve learned to trust the beautiful feeling of release to let me know that I’ve done my work. My physical sign that I’ve reached that point is this need to release a GIANT exhale. I imagine any toxic energy that I was holding onto shaking free and the exhale fully releases the blocked energy spot. AWE…release!

Today, I commit to writing down any feelings of fear, lack, and separation that I want to get out of me. I’m going to let it all come out—no filter! If I’m not willing to see it, I won’t be able to heal it. I will just keep shoving it down and it will get bigger and bigger. I’m not going to show this writing to anyone else, because it’s not for anyone else. This is my stuff. If I need to work on anything I see in what I write, I will ask for the help I need and trust whoever shows up to help me is the person intended to be there on this leg of my journey. If I have trouble knowing what my next step is, I pray. Then, I trust the path that is revealed to me. Sometimes it’s a book, person, Ted Talk, YouTube video, professional, supplement, etc. The path is always revealed as long as I’m willing to let go enough to take a step towards moving into the energy of love, abundance, and peace. Today, I’m just going to focus on getting out of my body.

One important step to this process is to DRINK A LOT OF WATER! While I’m doing this, I visualize the water flushing out the toxic build-up I’m loosening up. I see it as a physical cleansing! If you do this, don’t be surprised if your body physically releases more toxins from your body than normal.

If you would like to join me on this journey, I do have a suggestion to get started. First write down everything you associate with the word FEAR. On another page, write down everything you associate with the word LACK (not enough). Finally, write down everything you associate with the word SEPARATION. This work works for me because I’m clear about what those words mean to me. If I’m not feeling love, I’m in fear. I’m not feeling abundance, I’m in lack. If I’m not in peace, I’m feeling separation.

Here’s a little example of some of the things on my lists:


  • Hate
  • Rage
  • Blame
  • The feeling of being frozen
  • Wanting to run
  • Wanting to numb
  • Wanting to avoid feelings
  • Shame
  • Revenge


  • I don’t have what I need in this moment
  • Happiness is outside of me
  • I don’t have enough
  • Failure
  • There is never enough
  • I don’t want to be where I am
  • I’m not enough
  • Jealousy
  • Envy
  • Shaming
  • Blaming
  • Resentments
  • Should have, would have, could have


  • Divided
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Prejudice
  • I’m better than
  • I’m less than
  • Unlovable
  • Unworthy
  • “ALL”—describing groups of people that create divides of better or worse and good or evil
  • Us vs. them
  • Them vs. us
  • Different—when I categorize myself or situation as different and it makes me feel separate from the whole. When I use it as an excuse to stay in a low energy of being separate.
  • Loneliness
  • Vengeance

Your lists may not look like mine. It’s however you interpret the words for you. If you just use my definitions, the exercise won’t work the same if my definitions don’t fully resonate with your feelings about these words. That’s why it is SO IMPORTANT to know how YOU feel about words when you are doing inner work. If a word is a trigger word, just the word can send us down a spiral of fear, lack, and separation. The key is be be aware. It doesn’t mean someone else is wrong about their interpretations, it just means you have had different experiences that have lead you to different beliefs. As I wrote above, the word different in one way fuels my energy of separation, but used in other ways, it fuels my energy of peace.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (click title for more information, formats, and purchasing options)

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #109

I’m grateful I’m aware of how the energy of fear, lack, and separation can keep us prisoner if it goes unchecked. When we feel like a prisoner in the outside world, it’s because we are a prisoner of our own inner world. Whatever is going on inside us, reflects back to us in the world outside of us. We will see through lenses of fear, lack, and separation or love, abundance and peace depending on which energy we are feeding IN THE MOMENT! When people ask me about what I see right now, I see how the energy of fear, lack, and separation has manifested itself in the world. I see how people who are being driven by the energy of love, abundance, and peace are rising up. I also see how some people are unwilling to look at the energy of fear, lack, and separation within themselves and mistake the energy of fear for love, lack for abundance, and separation for peace.

Each human carries energies that free us and help us feel lifted and ones that keep us prisoner and keep us feeling depleted. Like I’ve discussed before, we each have light and shadow within us. This isn’t about good vs. evil. We each have a journey that will be filled with different events and circumstances that we will absorb and/or feed the energies of love, abundance, peace, fear, lack, and separation. We will get opportunities to learn from each. It only becomes a true hindrance when we are not willing to look inside and learn from the energy we are feeding, absorbing, growing, and spreading. I’ve learned to embrace my shadows within me because they always show up when I need to learn something VERY important. By acknowledging when I’m feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I get the opportunity to question what is going on inside me.

However, when the energy of fear, lack, and separation goes unchecked, we manifest chaos. We manifest corruption. We manifest HATE. We actually start contributing to the energy that we say we are against when this happens…UGH! Then when we are consumed by the energy of fear, lack, and separation, we look around and it is all that we will see. It doesn’t have to be PROVEN either. Just a headline can get a person’s story spinning in their heads to feed the cycle of fear, lack, and separation. It doesn’t matter how much evidence is presented to counter fear attacks, a person lost in the energy of fear, lack, and separation will not be able to see clearly. For them, the truth is the story no matter how far fetched that it might get.

Whatever energy we feed, we create more of. Do I want to feel like a prisoner in my internal world? The answer for me is NO! So that means it’s necessary to keep checking myself, learning from what the energy of fear, lack, and separation has to teach me, and allow that lesson to feed into the energy of love, abundance, and peace in my life. That is what feels good to me. That is what feels right TO ME. That is my choice on how I want to live MY journey. I’ve seen what feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation does to my life. It skewed my view of EVERYTHING I looked at. It skewed my judgments of others. It skewed my judgments of myself. It was an ugly and miserable way to live, and I choose not to live that way anymore. I will not be a prisoner to the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I will see it for what it is, my teacher. It doesn’t just teach me about myself, it teaches me so much about the world around me. I have to be able to see it in myself, so that I have a protection from it when someone tries to feed me their fear, lack, and separation. We have to recognize it in ourselves BEFORE we can see it around us.

Today, I commit to spot where I’m feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation. In order to align with energy of love, abundance, and peace, we have to SEE anywhere we are feeding, growing, and spreading fear, lack, and separation. I talk about this a lot in both my book and my 90-Day A Better Me Series (here on my blog). We can’t fix what we aren’t willing to see. Unhealed pasts can lead to unconscious growing and spreading of fear, lack, and separation. Negative self-talk is the direct path to keeping up the spread of fear, lack, and separation. When we abuse ourselves, we project that energy out. So first and foremost, in order to see where we are leaking out fear, lack, and separation, we must truly define love. There are many definitions and interpretations of the verse I have below. I have used other versions in the past, and right now this one is resonating the most.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.

The NIV Study Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13:7, 1985, p.1752

Since this is what I believe is the definition of love, anytime I’m not operating from this place, I’m contributing to the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I’m not perfect, I have to work through the energies as they present through my interactions with my kids, partner, family, acquaintances, God, and strangers. Above all the outside interactions, I need to look at anytime I’m not supporting this definition of love within me. The more I feel the love within, the more I’m capable of feeling it around me. Knowing this definition and LIVING by it makes me very AWARE of the times I’m not here, this helps me to embrace the feelings of fear, lack, and separation and LOOK at them. I don’t beat myself up for them being there (which feeds them), I just try to learn from what they are there to teach me. I know if I hold onto them for too long without looking at them, they will manifest chaos in my life. There is a HUGE difference inside of me when I meet a challenge from a place of love, abundance, and peace vs. fear, lack, and separation. In times I’m learning from my darkness, I embrace myself with love. That is how I heal. That is how I get better. That is how I continue grow. Learning to face the energy of fear, lack, and separation inside me is a gift. I used to get stuck in the muck and feel like I was in quicksand. How do I keep my head above water? Why is all this happening to me? I swam in fear. That gets really tiring. That’s a prison. Our stories of love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation create the way we CHOOSE to see the world around us in each moment. This is why I dedicate myself daily to aligning with love, abundance, and peace.

You may see messages repeated on this blog over and over in different ways, as I wrote about on number 68, repetition is necessary and important. It’s something to watch if we are feeding messages negatively repeating in our minds too. If you like what you read here, I invite you to scroll down and follow the blog. If you already are following, you can go back and check out the different posts on this journey here.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #87

I’m grateful when God closes doors that are no longer meant for me. I feel a growth spurt coming on. I’m always amazed how this happens in my life. A little chaos gets stirred up to show me doors to close and new doors to open. The transition isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it’s downright painful! What I have learned is it is necessary in order to keep growing and expanding.

I’m a person who is very sensitive to other people’s energy. It’s part of the reason I love speaking so much. I love the feel of energy connecting. I used to think it was only possible in person, but the pandemic taught me no distance matters when energy is connecting and lifting people into the energy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s also true for the energy of fear, lack, and separation, but I definitely don’t want to put my focus there.

I honestly believe that God sends little whispers when energy isn’t aligning. I feel it’s preparing me to close a door and/or open a new one. My body will also give me energy signals. I can be talking to someone and a person says something that makes my stomach tighten up, I know whatever is being said is connecting me to fear, lack, and separation. Then, I can also feel goosebumps as a sign of connecting to Divine energy, the home of authentic joy. I call it the AWE.

I’ve been getting the door closing preparation whispers for a while, and then while I was in my highest energy, I felt the door slam. My body became constricted. I knew in that moment I needed to shut the door to a big source of fear, lack, and separation trying to invade my energy space. In part of the struggle of closing the door, I have to remember the importance of praying for those who are stuck in the energy. In order for me to stay out of their energy, I have to make sure mine is aligned with love, abundance, and peace. I don’t do this perfectly. It takes a lot of reminders. Once I gain distance from their energy, I feel this encouraging feeling and idea after idea start flowing into me. I’m grateful for the door closing. I’m so grateful I keep getting signs on how to align deeper into the energy of love, abundance, and peace.

Today, I commit to being open to the signs leading me to close doors to fear, lack, and separation. If we want to stay in the energy of love, abundance, and peace, we have to pay attention to where our energy slips into fear, lack, and separation. I’m learning to trust my body’s signals on this one. I’m also learning to trust that little voice. The little voice gets clearer the more we align with love, abundance, and peace. Just remember, when doors are closing it can get dark for a little bit. I don’t want to downplay that. It takes a lot of work to stay in love, abundance, and peace when you are also experiencing grief of a door closing. This could be a friendship, a job, a career path, a spiritual path, familial relationships, romantic relationships, etc. It just signifies a time of change, and change isn’t always an easy thing. We have to give ourselves space to feel through it. The feelings can be all over the place for awhile depending on how long you had the door open. It may feel like you are feeling around in the dark while you are getting prepared to open a new door. The door will open when you are ready, but sometimes we have to be in a place of stillness before the door opens. Once again, we are in a chrysalis making the necessary changes to be able to fly. Trust the process.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Author of Letters from a Better Me


Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #38

Sometimes we forget to check on our progress. Anytime our thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligning with the energy of love, abundance, an peace, CELEBRATE with GRATITUDE. Each moment we are making choices in what energy we feed. Those really tough ones are the ones I LOVE to celebrate. When others are wanting to fuel my feelings of fear, lack, and separation, and I CHOOSE love, abundance, and peace—I feel EMPOWERED. I feel like I’ve taken the reigns in that moment and am standing in MY TRUTH. I’m so incredibly grateful!


Today’s challenge actually comes from my book. Writing our own personal mission statement is a way to committing to living in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. Think of companies, especially non-profits aimed at helping others. When someone sees a mission statement, they know what that organization stands for. The best ones won’t say anything that they are against. When we can only talk about the things we are against, we are coming from a place of fear, lack, and separation.

How do you want to serve our planet and humanity from a place of love, abundance, and peace?

What does that look like to you?

Sit down and really figure this out. Once you have it down, write it on a 3×5 card and put it up somewhere you will always look at it. This is your reminder of how you want to be living. When you know this and can see it in front of you, it makes it easier to actually live, make choices, and stay focused on the bigger picture— instead of getting caught up in the chaos around you. Our mission statement brings hope and passion into our thinking, feelings, and actions. If you want to fully commit to living in the energy of love, abundance, and peace—Start now! Write out your mission statement. Notice how writing it and stating it feels inside you. Don’t be surprised when all these little sparks are created, because you are about to light the world up in the best of ways.

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With Love, ABUNDANCE, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

If you like this exercise, Letters from a Better Me is filled with practical ways to start living life as your best self.

Don’t Let Fear Dictate Your Humanity

Life can be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, twists and turns, along with unexpected jolts to our systems. For some, a roller coaster lights a fire inside us and gets our energy pumping in the best of ways. For others, it ties stomachs in knots and causes great anxiety. We will not all respond to the challenges in life the same way even if they are global challenges.

We can only ever do the best we can with what we have. No matter the challenge; DON’T LOSE YOUR HUMANITY. In times of struggle, remember to be kind. Not only to others, but to yourself. Experiencing fear can affect our internal systems in VERY negative ways to the point of creating more problems and doing more damage. When we tear ourselves down inside, especially unconsciously, our communications with others struggle. We contribute to chaos instead of peace; problems instead of solutions.

Please, remember that peoples fears are heightened for a myriad of different reasons. Some we may see and others we won’t. We can educate without tearing someone else down. We can find solutions without contributing to the chaos. Each person is living according to their own perspectives of truth.

Just put effort into being your BEST you. You are responsible and accountable for the energy you put out in the world. Make sure it’s the energy you want to see coming back to you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2020

Other purchasing options offered here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/book/

Dear Fear: A Letter from A Better Me

Dear Fear,

I know you have served me in the past and protected me at times. I thank you for your service in keeping me safe. The problem is now I don’t need protection like I did when I was a child.  Living in your presence on a daily basis is holding me back. I keep attracting more negativity in my life to be afraid of in order to keep you alive and fed.

This doesn’t serve me, or any of the people I love. I can’t blame you, because I gave you power over my life. Some of it I did unconsciously, but other times I knew exactly what I was doing. Now I need to release you and find different ways to cope with the situations in front of me. I’ve realized that if you are in control, love has no room to come through. Your power has been a detriment to my relationships and a drain on my emotions. 

I no longer use you to define my worth. I will not belittle myself in fear of not being loved by others, because I know I’m putting that fearful energy out there and pushing away love. I deserve to feel love from myself. I don’t need your voice in my head making me feel like I’m not good enough. I am!                  

Fear is the gateway energy to way too many bad things. I know when I am living in fear; anger, jealousy, shame, prejudice, and blame are quick to follow in order to support the fear. When I’m not in fear, I don’t have to worry about how others are choosing to live their lives. I’m not in competition with anyone else. I just strive to do my best and help others do their best along the way.  I’ve discovered I’m a better person without fear running my life. I’m free to show more love to myself, others, animals, and the environment. 

I’m also aware of how fearful thinking has skewed my view of reality and took away my appreciation for the present moment. I don’t want to do that to myself, or the people I’m with anymore. Life is too precious to be avoiding it.  My life will no longer revolve around you. 

I no longer need you to help me find solutions. When you are at the core of the decision-making the solutions are not in the best interests for anyone or anything involved. I’m tired of feeling not enough, and that is what believing in you has done to me. I’m so scared of everything, I don’t know what is a real authentic fear and what isn’t. 

I’m tired of not being able to trust my gut because you are weaving a web of terror on my psyche. It makes doing the right thing so much harder, and I’m usually the one who gets hurt in the end if I depend on you.  I’m no longer in need of an energy that will keep me down. I release you so that I can give space for joy, love, and hope to take over my life.  I have finally realized that good solutions don’t come from negative energy.  I’m truly ready to start seeing things differently through love and grace.  

Today, my focus is bringing more good into the world by focusing my energy on the things that will help myself and others live a better life today. I no longer have to fear the unknown future. When I’m free of you my mind clears to make the best informed decisions. I can trust my heart and the energy I put out into the Universe. I can read the warning signs without losing myself to you. I will make better decisions when you are not at the core of my thought process. Today will be a better day without you consuming my thoughts and actions. I lovingly send your energy out into the Universe to be released and transformed.

With love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2017

13 Days Until the Release of Letters from A Better Me

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3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

3 Ways to Remove the Clutter that Self-Abuse Creates

Self-abuse is one of the many ways our self-hate, low self-esteem, lack of worth, and negative self-image manifest themselves. We create clutter both inwardly and outwardly when we don’t become self-aware of how we are treating ourselves. This doesn’t help us lead productive lives. This doesn’t help us stay away from the chaos and drama that surrounds us. The more we hate ourselves and treat ourselves with disrespect, the more chaos and drama we will attract to our lives. The clutter in our minds is fuel for the fear, hate, shame, guilt, and violence that is spreading in and around us.

If we want things to get better around us, we have to start within us. Our energy that we put into the world comes from the energy we are feeding ourselves daily. If we want to stop the abuse, we have to stop creating a space where we are apart of the problem. Self-abuse is not helping us or anyone else! When we self-abuse we are showing others that it’s okay to disrespect us, walk on us, and treat us as if we have no value. Many times people don’t even know that that is the way we feel, because our own behaviors have led them to believe that what they are doing is acceptable.

For years, I wanted to be the victim of my own thinking. I found a sick pleasure in being the doormat, but what I didn’t want to see is that I laid down in front of the person who chose to walk across my back. I was trying to find my value because I hated myself so much that I just gave myself away over and over expecting someone to see what I couldn’t. Our lack of value clutters our minds and distorts our realities into believing that we are trapped and that we can’t stop what is happening to us. Just the thought is self-sabotaging and attracts more of what we don’t want.

When my mind is cluttered, it spreads into my personal spaces. I’ve had my bed so covered in stuff that I have barely been able to fit on it to sleep. That’s when I know I have some real cleaning to do. The last time my bed was like that I dove head-first into figuring out how and why I kept sabotaging myself. It was time for me to look at how I was treating myself.

Here are three ways you can help yourself:

1. Become Aware of the Clutter —INVENTORY NEGATIVE MESSAGES

  • How do you talk to yourself when you are looking in the mirror?
  • What do you think about all your features?
  • What do you think about the person you are?
  • How do you feel about how your life looks to you when you look in the mirror?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake for the first time?
  • How do you talk to yourself when you’ve repeated a mistake?

This inventory won’t be done in one sitting. As life situations come up, see how you are talking to yourself:

  • Are you calling yourself names?
  • Are you criticizing yourself?
  • Are you beating yourself with an emotional 2×4?

Just to give you an idea, life situations can still hit me off-guard from time to time and I go back through these steps in order to keep my headspace clean and clutter free.

2. Cleaning out the Clutter—INSIDE AND OUT

  • Start a self-love Journal —Pick a number of days you will commit 35, 45, and/or 90 days. Each day write a minimum of three things you like about yourself. Here’s a hint, if you spot certain positive qualities in others it’s usually because you have them yourself. Do your best not to repeat, especially in the beginning. As you see more and more things you like about yourself, then you can start reusing ones that you are really connecting to.
  • Clean up your physical clutter—Start with a drawer and just keep going. Throw away what you don’t need. Pitch, sell, or donate the things that are just taking up space in your life. Make space for what you want more of in your life. Remember, clear space is peaceful space.


  • Living in gratitude is the best way to keep your space clean. Anytime our minds go to lack, deprivation, fear, hate, blame, etc. we are creating more clutter.
  • Watch your reactions to people. I find this one entertaining. If  a person’s actions work you up: First question your own thinking about what is happening to see if you are fully aware of where your reaction is coming from. Second, I imagine the person saying or doing whatever it is to themselves. Our negative behaviors start from how we are treating ourselves, so we can gain clarity about the situation if we are not taking the person personally. This doesn’t mean we have to accept unacceptable behavior. We just don’t add our own clutter. How someone treats us shows us their love or fear that they are internally dealing with. How we respond to them shows us where we are.
  • Stop the Cycle of abuse. If you see, hear, or feel abusive thoughts about yourself come up, correct them and clean up your self-talk. Treat yourself with love, respect, loyalty, honesty, and compassion. We have to have it inside us before we have a chance of cleaning up what’s around us.
  • Give from a Loving Place. This means you are giving because you want to, not because you think it will make you worthy of someone else’s time, affection, love, respect, etc.

Side effects of these steps are: sleep better, eat healthier, enjoy self-care, kinder thoughts, less judgmental towards others, more compassionate, attract healthier people to our personal and professional lives, more opportunities to do good in the world, appreciate peace, and so many more. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Did what you just read resonate with you? I hope you will explore FromALovingPlace.com and keep reading. I’ll be bringing a new series to the blog starting September 1, 2019. If you are not following along, make sure to sign-up below.

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