90-Day A Better Me Series
Part II: A Journey of Perspective
What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation
Day 52: Seeing Our Own Value
“Self respect, self worth and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for value.”
– Rob Liano
When we expect others, careers, skills, and/or circumstances to define our value, we are looking outside of ourselves. We start believing perspectives of truth that tells us:
- Having this relationship makes me valuable
- Having this career makes me valuable
- Having this skill makes me valuable
- Having this circumstance makes me valuable
We can enjoy having those things in our life when we are there, but if we strap our identities and value to having them, we become unstable. This is why so many people have the feeling of losing themselves after losing a job. This is why people struggle to fine meaning after they can’t perform a skill that they felt defined them. These outside things can bring out our darkness when we attach to them. We FEAR the death of who we are if we lose them. We don’t know who to be without them. Dark energies like fear, shame, guilt, hate, revenge, rage, entitlement, jealousy, etc. come from attaching to what’s outside of us.
We are 100% worthy and valuable of the air we breathe right here and now exactly as we are. We are 100% worthy and valuable even at the height of our challenges to find our way in the world. We are 100% worthy and valuable no matter what darkness and/or light we carry within us. Nobody outside of us needs to see our value and worth to live an AMAZING life—Only we do.
I may have a meaningful relationship fail. I may be in an abusive relationship. I may get fired/laid off from a job unexpectedly. I may be a surgeon then break my hand. I may be wealthy then lose all my money. My lesson is what does the journey have to teach me about who I am. How am I able to see myself being reflected back to me, and how can I fix any darkness I’m feeling within me. This doesn’t mean that we won’t grieve the losses of the people/things we care about. The more we are connected to our positive self-worth, the clearer the lines are of the grief. If we put our identity into a loss, we are grieving the loss of the illusion of an identity. That takes a lot more work to sort through than the loss of something or someone we know is outside of us. Many people have confused this to the point of taking their own lives because they didn’t see their inner value and worth.
We can get so attached to what is outside of us that we give no time to looking inside us. We avoid looking through all the things I talked about in Part I of the 90-Day A Better Me Series. It’s time to change that!
- What qualities do you have that make your soul shine?
- What light do you bring to the world?
- What is your capacity to love?
- How can you expand that?
“The frequency of your Light depends upon your consciousness. When you shift the level of your consciousness, you shift the frequency of your light.”
We project out the amount of light (love-fueled energy) we have inside of us. Think of a room with a dimmer switch. The greatest amount of love is the light shining at full capacity using the full amount of energy, but this light doesn’t drain energy, it creates more energy. How we value ourselves is controlling that dimmer switch. I’m going to project this much light, so that is the amount that will come back…Law of Attraction. When we raise our value switch, our light get brighter, it makes the room brighter. It then attracts people who are attracted to that brightness and it deters people who can’t handle that level of bright. I’ve been watching how this works in my life and the lives of others around me. It always fascinates me how increasing our light shifts what is going on around us. The brighter we shine from the inside the less attachments we get to things outside of us. The “stuff” just doesn’t have the same effect on our lives like it did before.
Our value is already within us. We just have to open our eyes to see it. We may need to change the lens we are looking through to get a better view, but it’s there, waiting to be discovered. We have to stop denying ourselves the time, so that we give ourselves the attention we need. We have to question why we put other people’s value above our own. No one is more or less worthy and valuable than we are. We can learn from those who are driven by their darkness, which gives their life value and worth. They are actually great teachers in the importance of seeing our value own value and not putting value in the outside stuff that in the end doesn’t matter. Those outside people and circumstances can teach us the value in being present instead of attaching to some unknown future. The more we can see that our pain and struggles are a part of our growth, not a hindrance to it—WE THRIVE!
In the end, our value lies in one simple statement—I AM! That is the complete statement of value. We are here. We are living. We are experiencing this journey of life. We are learning from our choices of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. We are ever changing and shifting being driven by the light and/or the darkness within us. Embrace the person you are! You are having the exact experiences you need in this life to fulfill your purpose in this life. We simply choose whether we will fulfill it through our light or through our dark. Our quality of the life we live is up to us. The VALUE of our life is there. The question is…
Are you ready to turn up your dimmer switch and bring more loving energy into yourself and into the world?
Just for Today
Make time to do something nurturing for yourself. Show yourself that you are valuable and worthy of your own time and attention! If you can’t think of things you can do: Imagine your ideal perfect relationship. What would you want someone to do to show you that you are valuable to him/her? Come up with a list. What on that list can you do for yourself to show you that you are valuable to yourself? Never expect anyone give more to you than you are willing to give to yourself. You are the example others are following.
With Love and Gratitude,
Rachael Wolff ©2019
Today’s Letter from A Better Me is “I See My Value”. Come back and check it out along with any part of the series you’ve missed. Thanks for reading!