90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 17 – Seeing the Truth Behind the Blame

Letters From A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 17: Seeing the Truth Behind the Blame

Dear Self,

I’ve been avoiding the truth by focusing on the blame. I’ve used blame as the excuse not to live better. I’ve used blame as the excuse for not doing better for myself and/or others. I’m responsible for not taking the actions I needed to take in order to improve my life.  I’m ready to see the truth behind the blame now.

I’m ready to become aware of how I REALLY feel about myself. I’m ready to challenge my thinking anytime I see it moving in blame’s direction. I’m ready to take full responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions. NOBODY and NOTHING can make me feel like I’m unworthy, less than, or a victim. I am the only one who can make me feel that way. I’m choosing to live better today than I did yesterday, not because my circumstances have changed, but because my mind has.

I know I have the power to change my life now! I’m done giving my power away to people, places, and things. The energy I put out is what I will get back 100% of the time. I’m accountable for what I put out there. I will not let blame conceal the truth today. It is what I do today that matters.

I know this process to transform my thinking will take time. My commitment is not to blame myself on days I fail to stay out of the negative energy, but to learn from those day. Just the awareness of this concept makes me a better me. I commit to the work that will keep me on this path.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Please read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 17 – Blame Conceals the Truth. This is one of the most important concepts to understand in order to get out of our own way.

Are you following along with the series yet? Keep reading!

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 16 – How I’m Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Letters From A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 16: How I’m Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

Dear Self,

It’s time to take some responsibility in how I’m perpetuating the blame cycle. When I blame others for how I view my life, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle. When I’m blaming others for their influence on the world, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle. When I sit and point fingers left and right and don’t take into consideration what I’m doing, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle.

If I’m engaging in thoughts that tear people down over their mistakes, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle. If I’m putting my intentions and perceptions onto other people’s actions because I feel I’m right and their wrong, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle. If I beat myself up for being different than I want to be in my thoughts, feelings, actions, looks, and beliefs, I’m perpetuating the blame cycle.

I can take personal responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions without giving energy to the negative power of blame. Perpetuating the blame cycle is a choice I make consciously and sometime unconsciously. I will do better to make more conscious efforts to be aware of how I’m perpetuating blame in my thinking.

I’m committed to being the best version of me I can be.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 16 – Perpetuating the Blame Cycle

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 15 – Buying and Selling Blame in the Media

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

 

Day 15: Buying and Selling Blame in the Media

“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”

-J. Michael Straczynski

Blame is one of those things society supports us doing. Mass and social media thrive on the blame, shame, fear, judgment, and hate in the world. Here’s the tricky part—If we are engaging in it, we are supporting it. Watch the news and see how you react to the stories they are telling. If the media says we should shame a person, do we? If we are told to blame this politician, government, or school system, do we? If we are told to hate a hate group, do we? If we are, we are contributing to the very energy that got us to where we are in the first place. How has this tactic worked for us so far?

We can’t get sucked into blaming the media for doing this. If we are blaming, we are contributing to the vicious cycle. I know, it’s not easy! Believe me, I KNOW! Here’s our responsibility in the matter. We’ve trained the media and entertainment to be this way. They wouldn’t survive if this way of delivering news, campaigning, and entertaining didn’t work. I watched candidates in elections try to run a clean campaign and because they didn’t bash the other opponents, while the opponents were bashing them, the majority didn’t follow them. It doesn’t even matter that most of the mudslinging is us being manipulated—We fall for it. We don’t want to spend the time searching for the truth, so we like to believe what people tell us. If we buy into this method, they are going to keep selling it to us. Otherwise, they wouldn’t succeed at their business.

So, they may feel like they are stuck just as much as we might feel we are. Some media blames the people watching because they are driving the sales and the people watching sometimes will choose to blame the media for not being better. Both sides are caught up in the blame, so we feed that energy and we attract worse and worse. We have people who are extremely sick looking for their 15 minutes of fame, and they don’t care how they get it. We are focused on the worst in society so we perpetuate the cycle of fear and create more of it. If the majority of a nation focuses on blaming, shaming, and fear, we can manifest leaders who project our vision out to the world. Scary, right?

I took a course on media and society in college. One of the most eye opening segments was about how our views are skewed by the media using racism and sexism even in crisis situations. For a compassionate and empathetic person like me, it put me in tears and just thinking about it makes me tear up right now. They showed us pictures and news stories after Hurricane Katrina had devastated areas of Louisiana and Mississippi. One news story had a black man carrying supplies over his head through waste deep waters and the news sources sold it as looting. Tell me that doesn’t stir up some blame cycles on both sides of the situation. Then a white woman doing the same thing is sold as surviving. Once again, the media plays to what sells. At the time I saw this, I’m not going to lie, my blame cycle went into full swing. It broke my heart how the value of people’s lives can be judged against each other. I really had to recognize what that energy was doing to me. For a while after taking that course, I couldn’t watch the news AT ALL. Now, I only watch in very small doses and I do my best to research any part of the news that doesn’t feel right. If a news story is focused on the sick individuals causing the pain, I research the people who are showing love and support to the communities involved. I follow the stream of good Samaritans who step up to fulfill what they feel is their calling to serve. I focus on what people are doing to support the victims of violent acts and natural disasters. This helps me to stay out of the energy of blame and focus on love

When I hear stories of natural disasters, terrorists, mass shootings, and overall violence, I have to REALLY be AWARE of where my mind is going. If I go into the fear, shame, blame, judgment, and hate, I feel helpless. I feel victimized by what I’m seeing. I feel scared to adventure because the fear of others. I’m scared to use my voice in fear of what might come back at me. All I know is that I’m not at peace when I choose to live my life there. I have to make a conscious CHOICE to take my mind somewhere that lifts me above all the darkness. That is why I ALWAYS go to seeking out the loving and compassionate acts of others. I still cry my eyes out, but the energy of those tears feed my soul. They inspire me to be and do better. They remind me of my humanity. So, I will support the stories that encourage the best in humanity. I will give them views, likes, shares, and comments on social media, because that is the energy I want to feed.

I’m not saying anyone who wants to watch the news should stop. All I’m saying is make sure you know where your mind goes while you’re watching it. If you want a better life for yourself and others stay away from the finger pointing and start to investigate your thoughts. If you think something shouldn’t be the way it is, what can you do about it? What is your part in not feeding that energy? Doing that is what led me to writing a blog. I needed to focus my energy on what I wanted in my life and that was to come From A Loving Place. I know I’m accountable for the energy I put out into the world. From A Loving Place is a reminder for me to live life from a loving energy and spread it the best way I know how, which for me is through my words.

Side note

I will talk about that A LOT more in Part III of the series, because it’s not about following someone else’s path but figuring out your own. Part III will give you tools to do that.

We do have choices in what we buy into. There are magazines and shows that support us invading people’s lives that keep the blaming and shaming cycles in overdrive, we can choose not to buy them or buy into them. There are magazines and shows that support the best in us, we can choose to buy them and into them. Just remember that we will continue to get more of whatever we focus on. You get to decide where your head goes. No one has control over where you put your attention. Where we go on the inside will create our reality. If we focus on the evils and fears in humanity, we find ourselves surrounded by them over and over with no focus on anything good. If we want to focus on the loving actions of others, we will see them over and over!

Just for Today

Watch media sources with full of awareness of where your mind goes. Where is your focus?

Remember Part I is all about AWARENESS. This is heavy stuff and my promise to you is that if you stick with the 90-Day A Better Me Series, by the end, you will feel shifts you never saw coming and they are nothing compared to what happens if you do the work in the 35-DAY A BETTER ME BOOT CAMP. The transformative power that comes from shifting our perspectives is life changing.

Thank you for joining me today.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff © 2019

A Better Me

 

Don’t forget to check out the companion letter from the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series (click here to go there now)

Follow the 90-Day A Better Me Series by scrolling down and entering your e-mail below. Start from the beginning and enjoy the journey FROM A LOVING PLACE!

If you are ready to commit to the transforming your perspective to live the life you want:

Check out the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp HERE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 14 – Recognizing Self-Blame

Letters From A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part I: A Journey of Awareness

What Holds Us Back: The Unstable Foundation

Day 14: Recognizing Self-Blame

Dear Self,

I didn’t realize how hard I was being on you when I chose to self-blame. I didn’t see how I had higher expectations of you than any other human and that’s not right. You are HUMAN. You are going to make mistakes in order to learn the lessons you need to learn. I want to project a loving energy. That means that I have to show that energy to myself too.

I can’t be blaming ANYONE including me. I want to be kind to myself. I want to show myself the compassion that I’m so open to share with others. I’ve seen too many people go down that slippery slope of self-blaming and I’ve felt what it’s done to me already. I’m ready to experience better. I’m committing to recognizing when I move past taking personal responsibility to self-blame. I will focus on putting my energy in the best place to serve the life I want to be living.

I feel blessed that I’ve caught myself in my self-blame cycle before matters got more extreme and my life was on the line. From here on I know the difference and I will pay attention to how my body is reacting when I’ve made a mistake.

With Love and Gratitude,

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Self-Blame can be extremely dangerous, please read the companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 14 – The Darkness of Self-Blame

If you need help breaking this cycle, check out my 35-DAY A BETTER ME BOOT CAMP.  Please feel free to reach out with questions on Facebook Messenger at Http://facebook.com/fromalovingplace Or e-mail me at LettersFromABetterMe@gmail.com