Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #269

I’m grateful your journey is for you and my journey is for me. It feels so empowering to allow those words to flow through my fingers. I love that I’ve gotten to the place in my life where I can truly appreciate this sentiment. I’m not living anybody else’s journey but my own. I’m responsible and accountable for how I choose to live my journey. I’m not the judge of someone else’s journey and when I choose to be in that space, I’m operating from a place of fear, lack, and separation. If my energy goes into being responsible and accountable for what I allow in and what I project out, I better serve myself and others. I can only ever be an example through what I do.

I’m learning (notice present tense) to focus my energy not what someone else is doing wrong, but how to I contribute to the solution and not the problem. If I’m stuck in the problem, I’m not serving anyone from that energy because it’s coming from the energy of fear, lack, and separation—I’m manifesting more of it. If I’m embracing the solution mindset, my energy is coming from love, abundance, and peace and I’m manifesting more of it.

On my journey, I’m learning to see that judging other’s journeys doesn’t feel good. I like feeling good. I found that contributing to the world from the energy of love, abundance, and peace makes me feel good, so that’s the journey I’m committed working on daily to live in. Plenty of people choose this and our journeys all look different, because that is exactly how it is supposed to be. Universal messages of love, abundance, and peace feel connected on an ENERGETIC level, not a story level.

I connect to people with like energy (like magnets), it can take one brief interaction and I will feel connected to someone even if it’s just for a brief period of time. I also feel my energy keeping me at a safe distance from others because of where their energy is. The more I practice these skills, the better and faster I get at acknowledging the energy attracting and repelling. I wrote about that on Day #231 (click number to read more). I’ve actually written a lot about this throughout the series because, energy is what the series is all about —the energy of love, abundance, and peace and fear, lack, and separation.

My journey becomes less about judgments and more about where the energy takes me. I’m still practicing, because judging others is a long lived habit. Each time I do it, I get the opportunity to go deeper. I also work on not judging myself and allowing myself to be responsible and accountable for my choices. This helps me use every experience where I notice my energy in fear, lack, and separation to help me grow and expand into the best version myself I can be moment to moment.

I have so much respect for other people’s journeys who look much different than mine. I’ve seen people use all kinds of different types of pathways to align them with love, abundance, and peace. I love when I’m offered seeds from their journeys. Then I get to choose whether or not I want to plant them in my own garden. I get to decide whether to nurture the seed into a way of believing and living. I get to figure out if it’s a beautiful flower, but not right for my garden. I will simply appreciate the flower in their garden. Just because something is beautiful doesn’t mean we have the right environment to host it, and that is OKAY. Understanding that I don’t have to be right and appreciate different ways to feed the energy of love, abundance, and peace is one of the most beautiful gifts on my journey.

As a parent, I get a lot of opportunities to learn about what is mine and what is not. My hope is by leading by example and not by the do as I say and not as I do mentality, I will help my kids see examples of what it means to live in the energy of love, abundance, and peace over fear, lack, and separation. My hope is through my honest communications they will get to see the opportunities to learn from each step they take on their journeys as I learn from mine. I know they will be learning from my example no matter what energy I align with moment to moment. With me, they see the example of of someone who takes responsibility and accountability for what is theirs. I don’t pretend in any way to be perfect and I don’t expect that of them. I keep remembering how important it was for me to experience life the way I did in order to be where I am today. How can it be any different for them?

Today, I commit to living my journey and letting you live yours. I have no idea what is best for someone else’s journey. There are so many ways that people can choose to live in the energy of love, abundance, and peace. There are also so many ways people will choose to live in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. My job is to tend to my own garden and offer seeds from what I grow and nurture. What someone else does with those seeds is not my business. I’m not hear to tell anyone that my way of aligning with the energy of love, abundance, and peace is the only way. I’ve had someone tell me that they can’t live like I do. That was them simply saying they didn’t want the seed I was offering at the time, and that’s okay. That’s their journey. There are people who are going to want to plant a lot of the seeds I offer, and that is their business too. I can celebrate others living their journeys without wanting to plant a single one of their seeds in my garden. I can also choose to plant seeds that people don’t understand why I would want that seed in my garden. It’s all okay.

Here are some questions I ask myself:

  • Am I living by example aligning with the energy of love, abundance, and peace?
  • Am I tending to my own garden?
  • Am I working through the obstacles that keep me aligned with fear, lack, and separation?
  • Am I offering my seeds to others?
  • Am I helping to empower others to live their journeys?
  • Am I open to planting seeds that will help me align with the energy of love, abundance, and peace even more?
  • Am I open to hearing Universal messages of love, abundance, and peace?
  • Am I working through my own emotional triggers?
  • Am I serving others from a loving place?
  • Am I communication with others from a loving place?
  • Am I guiding others by example from a loving place?
  • Am I holding myself responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, words, actions, reactions, and responses?

In AL-ANON I remember many shares about the importance of keeping our own side of the street clean. That was a seed I took from those rooms and planted. When I do this, I live better, I serve better, and I love better. Writing these pieces daily helps me to commit to doing the work of living my journey as best I can, while also letting you live yours. I’m grateful for you who are reading this piece. Most likely if you’ve read it to this point, there is something that resonates. If you feel called to come on this journey with me, you are welcomed with open arms. I trust that whoever is here is exactly who is meant to be. As they say in AL-ANON, “Take what you like, and leave the rest.” Wishing you a beautiful day and hoping that you embrace and enjoy your journey wherever it takes you.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World -Click the cover to start reading or listening to your copy today (also available in paperback)

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #254

I’m grateful for the power of loving actions. Years ago, I had a horrible definition of love. It was a subconscious definition. The definition was based on a love hurts mindset, which means everything I came up with had to end with how love hurts. I was under appreciated, that’s because love hurts. I was abused, that’s because love hurts. UGGGHHH…TOXIC! When I finally looked up the definition of love, I realized nothing I thought love was had ANYTHING to do with LOVE. This was an awakening moment for me. Once I could see what love was, I could see CLEARLY what loving actions were. The definition of love that I live by now is this:

This CLEAR definition helps me to see what love in action looks like. Acts of kindness, compassion, and empathy are all acts of love. Any actions that come from the energy of love, abundance, and peace are acts of love. Any action that comes from jealousy, prejudice, entitlement, envy, shame, guilt, ego, manipulation, lack of self-worth, or judgment are not acts of love. They are acts aligned with the energy of fear, lack, and separation. I felt like I needed to be really clear about the acts themselves before I jumped into why I’m grateful for the power of loving actions.

The energy around what I do for others and myself along with the energy of what others do for me feels completely different based on if the actions comes from a place of love or from a place of fear. Actions ignited by love carry an energy that fills me up and makes me feel expansive. When I’m giving or receiving from a place of fear, I feel depleted. Something inside me will be off. I don’t like it at all!

I know when my actions are loving, because there is no expectation about what I will get back, and I feel empowered by my actions no matter how they are received. When I receiving a loving action, I feel expansive. I embrace the gift for what it actually represents whether it’s a gift of quality time or something physical, it doesn’t matter. The authentic love I feel from the person giving is AWE-INSPIRING. When I’m aligned with love inside, I see loving actions all around me—TALK ABOUT FEELING EXPANSIVE! I often feel moved to tears from seeing loving actions in the world. I’m smiling just at the thought itself.

Today, I commit to focusing on loving actions happening in the world. When I focus on loving actions in the world, I’m putting my full energy into recognizing more love. If I can see and focus on loving actions in the world, I’m inspired to see more opportunities to do more loving actions in the world. This is a cycle that builds on the energy of love. When I give more love, I live more abundant, and that brings me peace. The more I can do this, the more I stay aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace DAILY.

This is important because I’m not in the energy of love every time I give, and I can FEEL it when I’m not. I pay an energetic price for giving from a place of shame, guilt, fear, lack, and/or separation. I can do something that is beautiful and take away from that by attaching negative energy to it. I do my best not to do this, but I’m not going to say that it doesn’t happen. My goal is to live fully from a loving place. It’s something that takes daily work and energy, just like living from a fear-based place does.

It’s not hard building up the loving energy to spot loving actions and give from a loving place. It just takes being conscious of my thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions, and responses. Knowing a definition of love that resonates with me on a soul level helps TREMENDOUSLY. It helps me spot when I’m being loving and when I’m not. If I’m not being loving, I try to make sure I do everything I can to make sure I don’t feed that energy. Spotting loving actions happening in the world is one of my favorite ways to get myself aligned with representing the change I WANT to see in the world. There are so many amazing stories just a click away. I don’t even have to leave my house, so really there is no excuse not to focus my energy there.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World —Click the book cover to get your copy and start reading or listening today! Also available in paperback for your highlighting and note-taking pleasure.

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #227

I’m grateful I understand the difference between positivity and living life from a loving place. Positivity has its time and place, but I find the need for authenticity is more beneficial for my health and happiness. When I would try to just be positive, I was in an internal war because that was not how I was authentically feeling inside. I couldn’t put my finger on why inside things still didn’t feel right and I still wasn’t manifesting what I wanted with all my outward positive thinking. I started seeing the signs of toxic positivity where my insides weren’t matching my outsides. Some people may confuse positivity with my mission, but living from a loving place isn’t about pretending we are somewhere we aren’t. It’s about being honest about where we are and embracing wherever that is with love. It’s about understanding that if I don’t show myself the love and respect that I deserve, I’m giving others the blueprint on how to treat me. In order to live from a loving place, I have to be honest with myself where I’m not being loving. It always begins inside. Whatever I am feeling inside projects out.

Today, I commit to being authentic where I am and embracing it from a loving place. When my mind is in a truly positive and loving place, I have no need to put anyone else down. I have no place for hate. I have no place for gossip of other people’s failures. The way I talk is different, even when I’m talking about the hard stuff. My focus is finding the good in the world. I know when I don’t carry the weight of past traumas by how I react inside to other’s pain.

If I’m not in an authentically positive and/or loving place, my thoughts of others and myself are much darker. I feel the difference in my body. I hear the difference in the words I use. I taste the difference in the food I’m attracted to. My focus is on seeing the bad in the world. I react to other’s traumas like mine are happening to me all over again. Toxic positivity can mask the pain of people (including me) stuck in the cycle of fear, lack, and separation. All the fear, lack, and separation is boiling under the surface, so the person will still attract more and more chaos no matter how positive they act.

What I learned is I can fake words, thoughts, beliefs, and actions, but I can’t fake where my energy REALLY is. The more honest I am with myself about that, the more often I choose to live from a loving place. This is my best chance of STAYING aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace more than fear, lack, and separation.

Remembering that I’m human and feeling is a part of the human experience. There are no new feelings. I’m not alone in any of the feelings I’ve felt, and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with having whatever feelings I’m having in the instant I’m having them. They are there for me to learn from, grow from, and expand from. Some of my darkest feelings led me to my brightest. Running, avoiding, numbing, suppressing, and/or pretending them away with positivity isn’t aligned with the energy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s aligned with the energy of fear, lack, and separation.

Even weeds that are bad for our gardens sometimes have pretty flowers. That doesn’t change the fact that they are smuggling the life out of flowers we are trying to nurture and grow. It’s our job to take care of our internal gardens, and we can’t do that by denying what is really there. Otherwise the weeds will take over, and we will be trapped in the energy of fear, lack, and separation until we decide to clean up what is there from a loving place.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (Click title to learn more)

Get a free preview on Amazon.com of Kindle and Audible

If my words resonate with you, you will love Letters from a Better Me!

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Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #225

I’m grateful I can connect situations in a loving way. We are capable of connecting situations through energy of fear or love. Two people can look at the same situation and see it through a completely different lens. Fear will tap into all the things we haven’t healed from the past and the fears we bought into about the future. When we react to situations from a fear-filled place, we often make someone else our enemy and stir up the blaming and shaming. When I learned that how I connect situations in my head was a choice, it opened me up to be creative in how I WANTED to interpret the situations around me. I found that when I connected situations from a loving place, I was more at peace in my heart. Anytime I bought into the chaos people in fear would spin, I would be miserable.

Connecting things from love or fear doesn’t change the facts of what is happening, just how they will affect our lives in the moment. I know I come up with a lot more solutions when I find connections to situations in a loving way than from a place of fear. Fear just makes me want to go to war and blame people, places, and things. When I connect situations in a loving way, I find the learning opportunities and determine what I can do in this moment to make a situation better. Even if a this moment the situation just gets better between my ears, which means the stories I’m telling myself, that is something I can work with. I know that with my energy aligned with love, abundance, and peace, I will live the best life I can and leave it better for the people around me.

Today, I commit to see the connections in situations FROM A LOVING PLACE. Just like most things you will read in my posts, this is a practice. When I started, I would catch myself making connections out of fear. Then, I would look at the situation and ask myself what I thought it would look like through a loving lens. As I got better at the practice, I would catch myself midway through a fearful thought spinning session and take a deep breath. This showed me I was making progress. It took a long time before my first response was to see the connections in situations from a loving place, and it still doesn’t happen ALL the time.

Sometimes I have to still work my butt off to get myself back to a loving place from a place of fear, but anytime I can make connections, it helps!! One of the ways I do this is to laugh at myself. I think about things I spent time worrying about that came out just the way they were supposed to, not because I spent all that time worrying, but because I just kept living one moment at a time, which is the only way any of us can live. When we focus on doing the best with the moment we have—RIGHT NOW, and stay aligned with love, abundance, and peace, beautiful things can happen. When I can get there, I feel at peace. How do I want to live this moment? My answer, from a loving place. If I want to live from a loving place, I have to process situations through that lens. This doesn’t mean that I’m naive to facts, on the contrary. I just do my best to take out the way I think things SHOULD look, because I know that will skew my view. I take the time to see the humans involved in the situation and put myself in their shoes when I’m trying to figure things out. If I can’t see their humanity, I will only see the situation from a place of fear.

Here are some of the questions I will be considering today:

  • What can I learn?
  • How can I serve?
  • How will I grow?
  • Who is the person involved?
  • Are the people involved aligned with love, abundance, and peace or fear, lack, and separation in the situation being discussed?
  • How do I stay aligned with love while interpreting this situation?
  • How do I stay aligned as I respond to others?
  • How am I connecting this situation in my head (through the lens of fear of love)?
  • How am I connecting this situation in my actions?
  • Is how I’m connecting the situation serving me being the best version of myself?

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (Click title for more information, formats, and purchasing options)

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FromALovingPlace.Com Followers

Dear From A Loving Place followers,

If you are following this blog, I’m sure you’ve noticed and abundance of e-mails coming in and/or Twitter posts. I’m sorry if the posts have been confusing. I’m moving the first part of the 90-A Better Me Letters Series over to FromALovingPlace.com.  I’m backdating all the posts so that they are aligned with the day the letter is companion to. I wanted to make sure readers have full access to both series here on FromALovingPlace.com. I’m also working on adding links to the corresponding installments on each day. This will take a little time, but I’ve noticed an increased amount of views so I want to make the transitions are as easy as possible for those picking up the series now that it is completed.

I apologize for any confusion and the flurry of notifications. There are twenty-six days to transfer. I’m sorry for any inconvenience during the transition. I’m so grateful to everyone following FromALovingPlace.com. I really appreciate your understanding and support.

 

Have a beautiful day!

 

With love and gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 90 – Committing to Lead by Example

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 90: Committing to Lead by Example

Dear Universe,

Today, I commit to doing my best. I commit to being the change. I commit to leading by example. I commit to doing the work daily to shine my light. I commit to the life of a better me.

I choose perspectives of truth that open me to experiencing love. I choose to perceive my reality through gratitude/abundance. I choose self-care to ensure that I’m giving my best to myself and others. I choose presence to pull me out of my story and give me a path to peace.

I trust the Divine Energy that lives inside of me to lead me to where I’m supposed to be. I trust that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be with every breath that I take. In each moment the Divine gives me opportunity to see someone’s light and/or shine my own. In each moment the Divine gives me opportunity to shine my light or embrace the darkness inside of me in order to learn and grow. I get to choose. I choose to take responsibility for my darkness and turn on my light switch to expose any toxic build-up so that I can clean it up and keep my light on.

My soul’s purpose is to live life from a loving place. My strength comes from the love within me. My perseverance and courage come from being face to face with my own darkness. My empowerment comes from taking responsibility for what energy I CHOOSE to project to the word. My wisdom comes from my openness to learn and grow.  My beauty comes from shining my light.  I will lead by example. I will be the change that the world deserves.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful for the experience of writing the 90-Day A Better Me & A Better Me Letters Series.
  2. I’m grateful for the transformations and abundance that has come from staying committed to gratitude, love, light, and abundance.
  3. I’m grateful for all the people who encouraged me on this journey.
  4. I’m grateful to my amazing kids who allowed me to have space and quiet to write for these 90 days.
  5. I’m grateful to my AMAZING agent for believing in my LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME vision and giving me the opportunity to share my vision with the world by selling my book.
  6. I’m so grateful to Mango Publishing for seeing beyond the social media presence and allowing my vision to come alive.
  7. I’m grateful and honored to have the opportunity to lead by example.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Read Today’s Companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 90 – Leading by Example

This completes the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series. I hope you have enjoyed the journey. Subscribe to follow FromALovingPlace.com for inspiration, book updates, new adventures, promotions on the 35-Day A Better Me Boot Camp, and so much more. Whatever you CHOOSE to do—I hope you keep choosing to live from a loving place.

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 89 – Being the Change the World Deserves

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 89: Being the Change the World Deserves

“We’re all just walking each other home.”

-Ram Dass

We make a choice EVERY day how to live this life. Each decision in how we feel, think, and act creates projections of energy that go out into the vast Universe. We are contributors to love and/or fear with our choices. Are you ALWAYS going to choose love? No. Sometimes we will choose fear consciously and other times we will choose it unconsciously. Fear is all around us in our entertainment, media, social lives, families, work environments, etc. We will sometimes have to work to choose love in fear-invoking situations. We will sometimes have our bear claws out and act defensively when we feel we are under attack. We are human and we are learning. Don’t beat yourself up! We just need to do our best and use the tools we’ve gained to get us back to a loving place.

What we did thirty-minutes ago, a day ago, a month ago, a year ago, a decade ago, etc. is the past. It’s done. Take responsibility for whatever lessons there were to learn from the feelings, thoughts, and actions that produced darkness and/or toxic energy. Choose to shift from the darkness, fear, shadow, and/or toxicity into the light, love, peace, and/or joy of the moment you are in right now. Right in this exact moment, the moment you are reading these words: you are safe, breathing, living, and getting the choice to be in the energy of love or fear. When we choose love more than we choose fear in our feelings, thoughts, perspectives of truth, actions, responses, and reactions, we are being the change that this amazing world deserves.

We sometimes choose to make this a lot more complicated than it is, because we are human. We can easily make the simple complicated. I’m no exception. Our stories are how we complicate, confuse, trigger, and stir ourselves up into a whirlwind of chaos. Here are some steps to help calm the whirlwind and help you find the peace to project and be the change.

7 Ways to Be the Change

  1. Get Present! Here it is again, if you want a way out of your story, you need to get present. If you need a reminder of the ways to do this, you can go back through the series or there are millions of other avenues found on-line. What is important is you find methods that you connect with so that you remember to do and use them on a daily basis. Remember, it’s just like healthy eating and building muscles. You have to keep doing the daily work to get the results you want to achieve.
  2. Check-In with your perspectives of truth. Is what you are choosing to believe in causing you chaos, stress, fear, pain, and suffering? Are you projecting fear in your beliefs about yourself and others? Are your beliefs telling you that someone else HAS to change to make it possible for you to BE THE CHANGE?
  3. Choose differently! If your feelings, thoughts, and perspectives of truth aren’t projecting the energy you want to contribute to the world, think of ways to look at the situation that will deliver a different energy. If you are struggling with this go back to Day 42-46.
  4. Be still! Slow down enough to get out of your story, be mindful, and shift your energy. Take a bathroom break if you need to, just give yourself time and space to slow down to a halt so that you can shift your energy. Use mindfulness, meditation, and breathing tools to re-center and find your way back to light-filled energy (Days 61-67).
  5. Connect with the beauty in nature. Whether you go out into it, look at pictures, watch video, or pay attention to it in movies—CONNECT!! See why the world deserves our love. Pay attention to the difference when we love and care for it and/or neglect and ignore it. Nature has so much to teach us about how we choose to live. Remember the garden example I gave? If not, go back and really become conscious of the garden you are creating.
  6. ACT! Once you are quiet enough, and your energy is projecting from a place of love, you will hear your call to act. You’ve heard the call to act from fear before, but the calling from a loving place is about being the change, having your energy in the right place, and acting out of the love within in you to create more love, connection, and compassion in the world. Isn’t THAT what the world deserves?
  7. REPEAT! This isn’t a one-time fix. Think about all the chaotic thoughts that spin the hamster wheel in your head. You are creating a garden and slowing down the hamster wheel to the point where you don’t need it. This takes a lot of time and practice. With every beautiful seed we plant in our garden, we get one to spread to the world.

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We can’t make great changes until we are the change. That is why I love Byron Katie’s quote about Buddha so much. That’s why you will see it all over my work again and again. If we try to act, without checking-in with our own energy and changing ourselves first, we too often unconsciously project more darkness and toxic energy into the world. We get caught in the cycle of using our rage to try to FORCE the world to change. We may solve one problem just to create another. Rage and force will create division and separation time and time again, because our energy is focused on what we are against. We have to be responsible for our energy first. This is how we can consciously become the change that the world deserves.

 

Choose wisely!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Today’s Letter From A Better Me 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 89 -Being the Change

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 85 – Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 85: Giving People Tools to Build From A Loving Place

“Creativity is the person-centered process of imagining possibilities and taking embodied expressive action to make your ideas real.”

-Marta Davidovich Ockuly, PhD, 2019

On this 90-Day A Better Mejourney we have covered a lot of ground. We have looked at what holds us back (Part I), what launches us forward (Part II), and now we are well into living the journey (Part III). In these final days of the journey we will be covering how to consciously project love (light), engage in what we stand for, embracing what we manifest, being the change, and leading by example.  There is one tool very important tool you will need to engage if you want the best results and to completely submerge into life as a better you—CREATIVITY!

Take in the definition of creativity above given by Dr. Davidovich Ockuly. REALLY take it in. If you have any thoughts or perspectives of truth within you that tells you that you aren’t a creative person, read this definition again and again. YOU ARE CREATIVE! Each of us has a purpose where we need our creativity to shine through in order to bring our purpose into fruition. We make our soul’s purpose come alive when we engage in our creativity.

When we block our creativity with beliefs such as, I’m not a creative person. We sabotage our gifts; we create unnecessary blocks for ourselves. We conjure a struggle where their doesn’t need to be one. We are creative. We were made creative. We just need to find our own unique creativity. When we do that—

We find our power! We use creativity to better our lives and give others seeds to better theirs on a daily basis. What we do may not be a piece of fine art, a best-selling book, viral memes or videos, mind-blowing photography, a jaw-dropping performance, and/or an award-winning garden. We use creative to project and manifest AWE in our lives. The work is engaging in our creativity.

If we want to give people tools to build from a loving place, we not only have to be creative, we have to inspire the creativity within them. We don’t know what someone else’s creative path is, but what we do know is if we help others see themselves clearly, we are giving them the tools to go within and see their gifts. Here’s an example: I’ve read countless books, gone to thousands of workshops and classes, had many challenging life experiences, practiced spirituality and religion, and experimented with using my creative mind in all kinds of way. I needed to do all those things to create the 90-Day A Better Me Series. I had no idea when I started my blog that I would be led to write this. It just kept unfolding, because I trusted the process. I was open to the possibility of giving others tools to live better. I had to go through the process to see the possibilities in order to write everything that has come to me.

When we engage our creativity our minds are open. When we suppress our creativity our minds close. We don’t see possibility. If we don’t see possibility we are stuck in the cycle of insanity. When we are open—WE LEARN, GROW, AND EXPAND. When we do that, we have the ability to give people tools to build from a loving place.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

P.S. I wanted to give my former professor, Dr. Marta Davidovich Ockuly, a special thank you for this beautiful definition of creativity. Thank-you for being who you are and creating what you do. You are an inspiration.

Today’s Letter from A Better Me: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 85- Using My Creativity to Help People Find Their Tools to Build From A Loving Place

 

 

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90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 79 – Healthy Communication Tools

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 79: Healthy Communication Tools

Before I ask you to sit with me,

I must be able to sit with myself.

Before I ask you to accept my pain,

I have to accept the pain myself.

Before I ask you to love me,

I have to be MADLY in love with myself.

-C.Thoth

In order to keep our internal homes clean for visitors (Day 74), healthy communication is key. We learn so much about ourselves by how we communicate with others. Our communication skills show us if we are in-line with our intentions of love and light, or if we are connected to our own darkness. If we are coming from a place of darkness (fear, blame, shame, hate, vengeance, ignorance, prejudice, AGAINST, name-calling, yelling, etc.), we are incapable of having healthy communication with others. We will bring toxic energy into the communication. Our intentions will be aligned with fear (darkness) instead of love (light). Having healthy communication with others is about us staying in our light and sharing it with others. We have the choice to bring light or submit to darkness.

When the person we are communicating with brings their light, and we bring our light, even in the disagreements there will be light. Both parties can connect even with differing perspectives of truth. The connection is through love, peace, and joy. When we stand for love and light, we are attracted to people who also stand for the spreading of love and light. Communication becomes so much more interesting when people start enjoying learning about different perspectives of truth, instead of condemning them. We can do this in our intimate relationships as much as we do it with individuals from across the world who are strangers to us. Our openness to gain understanding of where others are coming from spreads light in our homes and in the world around us.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

-Tony Robbins

10 Healthy Communication Tools

  1. Be aware of where your energy is. Are you communicating from a loving place or a fear-filled one? It can’t be both. If your thoughts are confused, slow down and sit in your awareness before you speak.
  2. Speak from a loving place. If you want the best communication, make sure you are speaking in terms of solutions (love/light), not problems (fear/darkness). With fear we get stuck in our own darkness and others are more likely to engage in theirs if that is where we are.
  3. Know your intentions. Be clear of what your intentions are with the person your communicating with. If you’re not clear, they won’t receive you clearly.
  4. Express your feelings. Speak in terms of I feel ____________ when you did _______________ or do ________________. This communicates your feelings without BLAMING and or making someone responsible for your feelings positive and/or negative. Another person isn’t responsible for making you feel anything, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not healthy to let them know that particular actions and/or words bring up specific feelings in you. Unless the person is unhealthy and sick, most likely they didn’t intentionally mean to cause you pain. Only when we are in our own darkness do we intentionally cause other people pain and suffering (we will be discussing that in the days to come).
  5. Listen from a loving place. When we listen from a loving place, we are adding our light to the exchange. This doesn’t mean the other person won’t stay in their darkness if that is where they are, but we don’t add to it. When we add to the darkness, we put ourselves into the darkness. Our light is dimmed and we no longer see clearly.
  6. Speak in perspectives of truth. Each individual has his or her own perspectives of truth (Days 42-46). When we can communicate clearly from this place, we don’t have the expectations of others being exactly where we are and to understanding our point of view. We don’t communicate in terms of I’m right and you’re wrong. Instead, we say this is where I’m coming from…
  7. Listen in terms of perspectives of truth. The goal is to understand where the other person is coming from. Remember they are writing their own story. Listen for what their story about themselves is saying. Is what they are saying coming from perspectives of love or fear? How are those perspectives making them feel? How are their perspectives effecting communication with you?
  8. Take a break when needed. If communications gets challenging, take a minute to re-center yourself if needed. Go to the bathroom and take some deep breaths, align with your light and intentions, and pray for the words to help you communicate clearly.
  9. Agree to disagree when needed. Remember you are each speaking and listening from your own perspectives of truth. You can simply let the other person know if their perspectives are bringing peace to his or her life, you are happy for him/her. If you are aligned with your own energy and intentions, your perspectives are bringing you a sense of calm no matter where the other person is.
  10. End communications on a note of gratitude. It doesn’t matter how the communication went—You learned something! You may have learned beautiful things about a person where light connected to light, even if some of the perspectives were different. You may have learned where you still have work to do on your own dark corners, which awareness is a thing to definitely be grateful for. You may have learned about perspectives of truth led by fear that you can be grateful that you don’t believe because you see the negative effects they have on a person’s thinking. There is ALWAYS a place for gratitude.

Remember to enjoy the journey! We aren’t going to do this perfectly. We are all learning to be the best we can. We can only do this journey one step at a time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff  ©2019

Need more inspiration? Read 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 79 – Committing to Healthy Communication

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90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 78 – I’m Triggered! Using Self-Reflection to Heal My Energy

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part III: Living the Journey

Making the Now Count: Rebuilding our Lives

Day 78: I’m triggered! Using Self-Reflection to Heal My Energy

Dear Self,

I had an exchange with a woman where I felt completely triggered. I felt attacked and like the person was saying that my perspective was wrong and unhealthy. Now, this person doesn’t live the kind of life that I want to be living, so why am I taking what she said personally. That’s her perspective according to how she chooses to live her life. If I REALLY could fully embrace that, I wouldn’t be having a reaction right now. I wouldn’t choose to feel victimized by her words. I really need to go deeper to figure out what this exchange has triggered in me.

Maybe the part in me that isn’t fully healed from being a people pleaser—I wanted her to agree, like, and respect me and she doesn’t. It also may be that she reminds me of my childhood when I was talked down to like I didn’t know what I was talking about and that my view was treated with disrespect. I remember feeling small and inferior during those times. I felt unheard and unimportant. I felt unworthy. Ok, this definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the woman I was just interacting with because her opinion of me is encompassed by her own darkness. I’m really okay with her not agreeing with me.

Now that I know I’m not dealing with this woman’s opinion being the problem, I can dig deeper to the parts of me that are still working through feeling unworthy. The perspectives of truth I’m choosing to believe are making me feel weak and inferior. I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m a woman of strength, courage, love, and hope. The way I’m feeling in this moment isn’t reflecting the beliefs I live by now. My perspectives of truth bring my life peace and joy. I don’t see any reason to continue to believe that I’m a victim of other people’s opinions. I know my worth! I don’t need anyone else to know it.

Ok, I’m feeling a little calmer, but I’m still not sure I can 100% promise that I’m going to be able to communicate with this woman from a loving place, so I will sit, meditate, pray, and remain silent until I feel that my communication will be worthy of the energy I want to project out into the world. I definitely don’t want someone’s darkness to affect my light. If I’m meant to have another exchange with her, I trust that the opportunity will arise.

I just need to keep in mind what it is I stand for. I need to focus on how best to communicate without taking on the energy of people who are out there showing their darkness. The question I need to ask myself is… How do I shine my light here? If I feel clear about the answer, if the answer brings me peace, I know I’m in a healthy place.People can only trigger me if I let them. I only let them if I’m facing some darkness within me. When I’m honest with myself—I get better! My energy now is aligned with the energy I want to project out into the world.

Today I’m Grateful

  1. I’m grateful I ALWAYS have a choice in how I view a situation.
  2. I’m grateful for the power of self-reflection to get me out of my own dark energy.
  3. I’m grateful for other people giving me the chance to learn more about myself.
  4. I’m grateful that I’ve learned how to love myself, so that I know my worth.
  5. I’m SO grateful for my ability to change and be better.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Need more inspiration? Read 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 78 – Using Self-Reflection When We Are Triggered

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