In Case You Missed It: Here’s What’s been Going on

In case you missed what’s been going on, here’s what I’ve been doing…

Guest Facilitator on the Heart Wisdom Panel—Fabulous Females (Sept. 1, 2021)

365-Day Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace

On FromALovingPlace.com, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn I’ve spent the last 365 days focusing my energy on daily aligning with love, abundance, and peace. It has been an amazing journey, and the shifts in my life have been incredibly rewarding along the way. If you would like to see where the journey takes you, you can search “Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace” on home page—Click here for category search. You can also find them all on Twitter, Facebook.com/LettersfromabetterMe, or LinkedIn.

Facebook.com/FromALovingPlace

This is my on-going project of contributing to Love on social media. The Facebook page now has over 9.6K followers and growing daily. I love being a part of spreading love on social media.

YouTube Channel

I have some videos available here (click to go to channel) and will keep posting when I feel inspired. You can also search “Letters from a Better Me” on YouTube. Here is one of the videos I created:

Beyond Talking Points Interview (July 12, 2021)

Polly Campbell, Simply Said Podcast Interview Episode 113 (May 18, 2021)

Nita Sweeney Author Interview (April 2021)

https://nitasweeney.com/2021/04/author-interview-rachael-wolff/

Heart Wisdom for Challenging Times (March 2021)

Postcards from the Universe with Melisa Caprio (Dec 2020)

Here are a couple of listening options:

See More here: https://fromalovingplace.com/2020/05/11/the-ongoing-journey-of-letters-from-a-better-me/

If you want to make sure to stay in the loop…Follow Along:

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

A Warning to Social Media Users

Dear Social Media Users,

I know this seems hard to believe, but many of us have been used as a form of narcissist abuse. Many of us have read articles on what narcissists do and we cringe thinking about the poor women, men, and children who have had to suffer at the hands of a narcissist.

The stories might even hit us closer to home. It might have been our family, our friends, or us who is or was the people/person being abused. There are different levels of narcissism, and Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), isn’t easily diagnosed. Yet people with NPD have an amazing tool with social media to continue their extended abuse.

The worst part is we are trained to accept and perpetuate abuse in our society when we are asked to quickly judge women, men, politicians, celebrities, athletes, victims, alleged perpetrators, religious organizations, ethnic backgrounds, businesses, etc. We are so quick to judge that we forget to dig deeper. We post things without investigating to see the background of what we post. We leave comments and emojis, likes, and loves on posts, which are actually perpetuating the problem and making it easier for a narcissist to abuse their victims.

We are actually becoming the very thing that many of us are so sick of seeing. We who were once victims have become perpetrators of hate, fear, and condemnation and many of us do this blindly. We may think we are being a friend, patriot, or fighting for what we stand against. We have become a person who contributes to a narcissist’s playground.

Narcissists love making themselves the victims and making their actual victims the villain. Part of their M.O. is that they turn everyone they can against the actual victim of their abuse. They will do whatever it takes to destroy the reputation of the their victim. They try to turn the victim’s family, friends, employers, and communities against them. Now, do see how social media is a narcissist’s playground 

Healthy people don’t intentionally do things to hurt others. SLOW DOWN, think about what you’re reacting to. It may sound like something you went through, it may trigger you because a friend is posting it, it may sound like you once felt. Just stop and think before you respond to any posts that engage in tearing someone else down on a personal or public level.

I know that most people reading this are good people caught up in societal webs made of judgment. I’m not above it either. Here is just one example, I’ve laughed at a person I thought was drunk on a viral video. Through research I found out the poor woman who has been going through hell in her personal life actually had heat stroke. I was so quick to judge her because it looked like someone in my past who was messed up on drugs and alcohol. Luckily, because I have been the victim of an abuser using social media to TRY to hurt me, I investigated and found out the truth. I was horrified that even after showing proof of what happened, the person showing the video could let it continue to go viral after knowing what this poor woman was actually going through. That is when I saw how easy it is to get caught in this web. 

If you post hateful, uninvestigated, and cruel comments on social media, I won’t engage and perpetuate this problem. I won’t be apart of the energy that is allowing victims to keep getting abused. I commit to investigating claims before I show my support. My mission is to swing the pendulum towards love. I commit to spreading the energy I want to see more of in the world on social media. I’m committed to share the best that humanity has to offer.  

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020,2018

Letters from A Better Me is available through many online retailers and apps.

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

#NarcissisticAbuse #Abuse #SocialMedia #ABetterMe

Here are a few other pieces about narcissistic abuse (click on the links to go to the piece):

5 Ways Narcissists Use Social Media as a Weapon

Social Media: A Narcissist’s Playground

How Researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder Opened My Eyes

Social Media: A Narcissist’s Playground

How did we get here?

How did we become easy targets to allow narcissists to abuse their victims?

How is it possible for good people to become perpetrators of narcissist abuse?

How do we open the door unknowingly to be the next victim of narcissist abuse?

Come on, most of us are good people. We are not capable of being perfect. We don’t want to believe that we are capable of perpetuating the abuse of another person. We want to believe what we read. We want to believe that no one would post or say something harmful about someone else if it wasn’t true. We struggle to put ourselves in a narcissist’s mind because we can’t possibly think of calculating such a horrible attack on a person if it wasn’t (in our own minds) deserved.

Rule number one of a malignant narcissist is that they NEVER do ANYTHING wrong. They are the victims of their families, friends, romantic partners, business associates, and communities. You would think that we would be able to spot narcissists easily. Yet, according to the professionals who specialize in the field of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), it’s not as easy as one would hope.  That being said: There can be narcissists in all forms of business (even non-profits), in our communities, on our friend lists, in politics, and sometimes even in our homes.

What Makes Social Media a Narcissist’s Playground?

We are trained to focus on hate, fear, shame, blame, and overall judgment. Of course, a narcissist would love this playground. If you have ever read anything about how a narcissist operates, you know that they calculate turning people against their victim. They attempt to isolate their victim to make the victim become the alleged perpetrator. Social media makes this so easy. We can’t put it past a narcissist to record sections of an argument where the victim is reacting to their abuse, so it comes off sounding like the victim is the crazy one. They find pictures that show the victim not in a good light and without social media knowing the background of that particular moment, get people to engage in commentary bashing the actual victim of the abuse. They can say how innocent they are and how a “CRAZY” mom, dad, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, ex-lover, child, friend, co-worker, boss, employee, and the list goes on an on, DID THIS TO THEM! Wait, you may be thinking we have all done this at some point. The difference, a narcissist has done it to everyone on that list that pertains to his or her lifestyle. Every ex is the crazy one. Every employer is in the wrong. Every employee is to blame.  Every friend has abandoned them or used them. I think you get the point.

Narcissists also use social media to hunt for their next victim. The instant they break up with someone, lose a job, have a fall-out with family, etc. they come to social media to prowl. You might start seeing them everywhere when before the interaction was limited. They look for people to comment on their “poor me” posts and all the sudden instant messages start popping up from them because you understand them and “nobody else understands them.” You are the only one who can rescue them and all the sudden you are on a giant superhero sized pedestal. Then they systematically will destroy your relationships with others and then—

Bang! THEY ARE IN! They prey on people-pleasers, empaths, and caring individuals who have problems with self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, and self-respect. The people who do things for others to gain their own personal value are their perfect targets. We may think we are helping or rescuing them. They act like they care and try to get you to reveal as much personal information as possible so they will be able to use it against you later. A narcissist will attack using anything you possibly have guilt or shame around. If you are a people-pleaser, social media is the perfect grounds for attack because their victim is mortified that people could think that they are anything like the image the narcissist is portraying.

Don’t forget, narcissists can be VERY charming. They act one way when they want something from you and a whole other way when you aren’t there. The question becomes how do we see through this and know when we are contributing to a narcissist’s abuse and/or opening the door to become their next victim?

The answer is we have to become vigilant and really aware of what we are doing on social media. We have to INVESTIGATE! If you don’t have enough time to investigate:

  • Don’t engage
  • Don’t perpetuate in hate, fear, or negative commentary when you don’t know the whole story
  • Don’t JUDGE based on a simple post
  • Don’t like or comment before you know facts
  • If a person is ALWAYS blaming other people…question your connection with the person.
  • If you don’t want to be involved in any potential hate, abuse, or fear tactics edit your friend list and LIKE and FOLLOW pages that don’t engage in it. Only have friends on your list that you truly want IN your life.
  • If you lack self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, and/or are a people-pleaser, work on you so that you don’t become a victim.

Let’s not contribute to letting narcissists use us to hurt others. If you see abuses that can be reported—report them. If you see someone endlessly blaming and shaming others—block them. If you don’t want to perpetuate the hate—stop contributing to it. Be self-aware and vigilant. We are all capable of being fooled on social media. Research before you post or comment.

Let’s start spreading more love and stop contributing to the energy that gives narcissists a perfect playground.

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With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2018

 

#NarcissisticAbuse

#Abuse

#SocialMedia

#TAKEACTION

If you are interested in seeing how I broke the patterns of being a victim of narcissist abuse and became a spotter of narcissistic behaviors, check out my book, Letters from a Better Me in the link below or learn more here.