Beyond Talking point author Interview with Rachael Wolff

Bridgitte Jackson-Buckley, owner of Little Visioneers bookstore, asked me to be her special guest on her Beyond Talking Points video podcast series. I was so grateful for the opportunity to have this important conversation about forgiveness and so much more.

Beyond Talking Points: Forgiveness and Affirmative Letter Writing with Author Rachael Wolff

You can also find the interview at: https://www.littlevisioneers.com/podcast

We had such a beautiful conversation! I hope you enjoy!

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff, Author of Letters from a Better Me available in audiobook, ebook, and paperback

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #178

I’m grateful that I AM responsible and accountable for how I treat myself. Over the last twelve years, I’ve experienced tremendous growth after working up to, then coming out of a very toxic environment. I’ve faced my own self-abuse, codependency, toxic stories, challenging lessons, and faith. I went from the darkest time in my life to a place of acceptance and love. When I began to be responsible and accountable for where I was in the moment, I gave myself permission to become aware of the obstacles that were holding me back and the perspectives that help to set me free.

This journey takes a lot of twists and turns. I still have to go through some tunnels to help open me up to see more. For instance, I’ve been reading Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza with my book buddy. We just got to the part of the book where we begin doing the work. One of the things he suggests is finding the word, which represents a feeling that creates obstacles. He said to just pick one. I knew that when I saw the word, I would know it. I went through the first list. None of the words triggered that physical feeling of contraction within me. Most of them I’ve been working on for the last twelve years. Then the I saw the thing that triggers me in a way like no other, it is the feeling of being overwhelmed. The word, “overwhelmed” hit me like a ton of bricks in my gut. This is the first time that I fully recognized what the feeling of overwhelmed feels like inside of me. Upon further inner exploration, I got to see all the other feelings that get triggered by that one word, overwhelmed. WOW!

I realized in order to get to the next level of my growth, I have to face this head on, because I am responsible and accountable for how I treat myself. When I’m in the state of being overwhelmed, I’m not taking the best care of myself, and then I’m not capable of being there for the people I’m closest to because that feeling of being overwhelmed keeps me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation when I’m participating in the stories that are feeding that state of being.

The beauty of this journey is that even when I’m going through the challenges of breaking-up patterns and stories that are feeding the energy of fear, lack, and separation, I’m able to embrace them with love. Everything I’m faced with has something to teach me. I always get the opportunity to learn and grow. When I started doing the work to end my self-abuse, I remember feeling like the weight of ten years coming off my shoulders. People noticed it too. I looked younger. I also ate healthier, looked healthier, and attracted healthier people to my life—Because I became healthier body, mind, and soul!

If I blame someone else for how I treat myself, I give my power to change to that person. As long as I stay in the victim role of someone else, I stay aligned with fear, lack, and separation. It’s only when I took my power back by saying and BELIEVING that I AM responsible and accountable for how I treat myself that my life started changing in the best of ways. Even though I’m facing many challenges right now, I know that I will come out stronger and wiser, because I’m willing to see myself, accept myself, heal myself, and excel myself. We can’t do this by running away, numbing, or avoiding ourselves. We have to be willing to look at ourselves with love, respect, compassion, and empathy. This is how we live empowered.

Today, I commit to treating myself with love, respect, empathy, and compassion. When I’m experiencing joy, it’s easy to treat myself with love and respect. It’s when I’m being challenged with aspects of myself that are creating obstacles that I really NEED to consciously treat myself with love, respect, empathy, and compassion. When I was coming out of my fog after being psychologically, emotionally, and mentally abused by a narcissist was times I needed it the most. I’ve watched people end up back in the patterns of abuse over and over because of NOT choosing to treat themselves with love, respect, empathy, and compassion. We are 100% responsible and accountable for how we treat ourselves, and it MATTERS!!!

I know how challenging it can be after realizing what a person believed in so wholeheartedly was a lie, scam, con, facade, whatever you want to call it. I was told over and over by friends and loved ones to leave and to see the truth. I was asked over 1,000 times, “Why are you staying?” I was left behind by friends who were sick and tired of hearing me complain then go back for more. The thing was I stayed in that relationship as a form of self-abuse. That is how bad I was abusing myself. I was immersed in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. In order to get out, I had to do something VERY different than anything I had ever done before. I had to treat myself with love, respect, empathy, and compassion. Once I started doing that and allowing myself to feel pain without self-abusing, I broke the pattern to even attracting people like him to my life again.

Recently I’ve been studying cults, and the similarities of what happens to the victims is SO similar. Most times, we don’t know we are in an abusive relationship or cult until so much damage has already been done. One of the analogies I’ve heard many times is, How do you boil a frog? Slowly. If someone threw a frog into hot boiling water, the frog would jump out instantly. If you start in nice cool water to get the frog comfortable, then slowly increase the temperature, you weaken the frog until it becomes too late for the frog to jump out.

I had to learn that self-blame was self-abuse. Taking responsibility and holding myself accountable is a respectful way to learn from our experiences. It is a part of treating ourselves with the love, respect, empathy, and compassion that we deserve. It doesn’t matter if ANYONE else believes we deserve that. WE HAVE TO BELIEVE WE DESERVE IT. Some people will think you deserve to self-abuse, don’t listen to them. We are the ones who have to live with ourselves the rest of our lives. The best thing we can do for ourselves is hold ourselves responsible and accountable for how we treat ourselves, because when we do that with love, respect, empathy, and compassion—we will do that for someone else. That is what we need to make the world a better place.

Today, I commit to treating myself with love, respect, empathy, and compassion as I face the challenges that lie before me. As I process the obstacles I’m facing, I will be forgiving of myself for the times where I let myself get in my own way. I will accept the awareness of where I am in this moment. Then, I will make a plan to do things differently. If I need help, I will ask for help. If I need love, I will give myself love. I will do for me what I would do for my best friend, because I am my life partner. The healthier my relationship with myself is, the healthier the relationship I will be able to have with others.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World (link to retailers)

Free Preview on Amazon in audiobook and ebook format:

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #170

I’m grateful for all the people who speak out about abuse. Tears fill my eyes as my fingers stroke the keys. If you have never been a target of a narcissistic abuser or a sociopathic abuser, you really don’t know the courage it takes to speak out. Some people don’t even recognize that they were abused until they start hearing other people’s stories. Abusers can be parents, family members, neighbors, loved ones, partners, bosses, co-workers, pastors, etc. If someone grew up in a household with abuse unrecognized, they will not see it in others who are doing the same behaviors. We have to recognize it first. Once we recognize it, we open a closed box of painful memories. It’s the people who speak up that help those people through one of the darkest times they may ever have to face.

I’m so grateful for all the testimonials, books, and personal stories I heard when I was unearthing my truths. I spent years in an emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive relationship before I was willing to see. I was living numb. I was living empty. When people spoke up, I didn’t feel alone. When an abuse victim has those voices under their feet, they are carried. When we WAKE-UP from the brainwashing and mind control, we start taking our power back. I know that even though I read many of the books I did after I left, the people’s stories helped me break free from the cycle of abuse, because the stories were so similar. I started asking myself, how I became a target. I discovered I had unhealed shame cycles going on that were causing me to self-abuse. I didn’t recognize his behaviors, because I was treating myself worse.

Though people heal from abuse in different ways, the beauty is that there are so many people willing to share their stories. The more people who share their stories, the less we sweep it under a rug. When we face the abuses that touch our lives whether it is in our personal lives or professional lives, we give ourselves the space to heal, grow, and expand. Suppressing it can actually make us perfect targets for cults, extremist groups, and more abusive situations. If you’ve been reading this blog the last few weeks, I’ve been talking a lot about the ways people will attempt to get us to align with fear, lack, and separation. Unearthed shame around abuse can keep a person aligned with fear, lack, and separation at such a deep level. Remember, healthy people don’t intentionally hurt other people. Only the hurt parts of us can hurt someone else intentionally.

Today, I commit to using my voice to speak up about abuse. I hope that today someone who needs to know that they are not alone reads this blog. I hope they will choose to look at the way I choose to live now and have hope. I was once a victim, but I’m not anymore. I once felt like I was just surviving the day, now I choose to live it fully. I’m not alone in how I choose to live either. One of the things that really helped me heal was reading books by Holocaust survivors. I spent time in Holocaust museums and paying close attention to the heroes who spoke up and/or did something. I did everything I could to learn about abuse, so that I would not only spot it, but I would help myself find the path to breaking the cycle.

My book, Letters from a Better Me has been in the top 20 for domestic partner abuse on Amazon. People can find other books, tools, and resources throughout the pages I’ve written in both my book and on this blog. The best things I do for myself is to align with love, abundance, and peace and be willing to look at what keeps me in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Our healing matters, not just for us, but for all the relationships we have throughout our lives. Our healing matters, because when we can become aware of when we are in the energy of fear, lack, and separation, we get the opportunity to heal, learn, and grow from it. We stop the cycles of abuse in the generations that come after us. It’s important to be kind, loving, forgiving, and accepting of ourselves. Learning to the difference between accountability and responsibility which aligns our energy with love, abundance and peace and then self-blame which aligns our energy with fear, lack, and separation is so important when we are recovering from the patterns of abuse. The blame keeps us in the cycle of abuse, and accountability for what is ours sets us free. We get to choose.

In the last few years, more and more people are speaking out. I have such tremendous respect for their bravery. Does this mean an attention-seeking person won’t sneak in and try to grab the spotlight from time to time, and lie? Of course there will be people who do this, but remember they are coming from an unhealthy and unhealed place too. If I choose to hate that person and let it affect my humanity with the next person who comes forward, that’s on me. If I let their alignment with fear, lack, and separation affect my alignment with love, abundance, and peace, I’m empowering myself to do something about it. They are responsible and accountable for what they put out into the world, and I’m responsible and accountable for what I put out into the world. I do my best to ask God to help them find their path to love, abundance, and peace. Just doing that helps me to realign.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2021

Author of Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #19

In order to align ourselves with love, abundance, and peace we have to stop taking what other people say and do personally. If their energy is aligned with fear, lack, and separation, that is what they will project onto whoever will listen and/or align with their energy. My mom has been telling me, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you” since I was thirteen years old. What people think of us and others is based on what beliefs (perspectives of truth) they are attaching to within themselves and the SAME is true for us. We have choices in how we respond to others through acquiring new ways to look at things and that is something to be VERY grateful for.

I have a choice to internalize what someone says, or I can be grateful that I can come up with other ways to look at it that trigger my compassion. The things I choose don’t have to be true for someone else, I’m only responsible and accountable for how my thoughts make me feel and what energy I project out. If it helps me feel better by not taking it personally and seeing other possibilities that help me to align me with love, abundance, and peace—I’m okay with that. I’m grateful for my choice Not to take others personally by seeing seeing these options in perspectives instead:

  • Others are only every projecting what is inside them.
  • Someone who says hurtful things to others is really saying those things to themselves (They are their own mirror).
  • Some people who are supporting abusive people or are abusive see abuse as normal, so they don’t even see what they or another person are doing doing as abusive. Possibly because they have been abusing themselves on an unconscious level or they have suppressed verbal, mental, emotional or physical abuse from someone else it’s not my job to CHANGE them, just be aware that I don’t have to align or agree with any energy I don’t want to be apart of and make the healthiest choice for me and my energy.

Today’s challenge is one I love doing as I scroll social media looking at posts and comments. I choose to see what anyone is saying and doing as a projection of what is going on inside of them.I love figuring out if a person is coming from a place of love, abundance, and peace OR fear, lack, and separation. Focusing my energy on seeing through this lens also helps me to look at what I’m saying and doing more clearly.

If someone in my family or any of my other relationships interacts with me in any other way than loving, respectful, and considerate, I take my ego out of it (making how they are acting about me), and try to ask questions that help me to see what is going on inside of them. I find questions are so much more productive than any statements I make, not saying I don’t do it sometimes (LOL). I find that making statements doesn’t tend to get me to the heart of the issue, and it also doesn’t help the person I care about figure out why they are projecting their energy of fear, lack, and separation onto me. I really hope you will try today’s challenge and see what a difference it makes in your energy. I get a natural high when I do it, which is how I know my energy is aligned with love, abundance, and peace.

With Love, Gratitude, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

Find out more about Letters from A Better Me here:

Available in audiobook, cd, ebook, and paperback

Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #16

Avoiding, suppressing, and numbing feelings does us a great disservice. When those hard feelings show up, they are giving us beautiful signals just like when what we may consider the “good” feelings show up. Here is a secret that will set you free, they are ALL good feelings if you know how to work with them. It’s when we avoid, suppress, and numb them that they fuel the energy of fear, lack, and separation in our lives. It is a path that creates addiction, prejudice, oppression, violence, and so much more. Look around and you will see it. Unfortunately, many of us are taught that to feel anything that doesn’t put a smile on our face isn’t good. If that isn’t sad, I don’t know what is. Feelings are one of our greatest gifts because they have so much to teach us about ourselves if we just start giving them the respect they deserve.

I find it fascinating when people assume I haven’t been through trauma when I talk about living life from a loving place. It reminds me of old perspectives of truths (beliefs) I used to have. I used to believe that my traumas had control over how I lived. When I would have a Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) episode, which is reliving the trauma, I thought there was nothing I could do, and it would be this way forever. People would feel sorry for me and treat me like I was damaged, and I believed them for a VERY long time. Until I didn’t. I got enough seeds from people who thought about past trauma differently, and with that the flame was lit and I grow stronger and brighter with each revelation that comes from FEELING the FEELINGS that come up, when they come up! YES!!! My feelings are the windows into my healing and I’m so grateful for every single one of them.

Long ago, someone said to me, “You are rarely reacting to the person in front of you.” There is usually a trigger that takes us back to another time where our boundaries, safety, self-esteem, and/or feelings felt violated or threatened. Our feelings can be a guide to release us from something that no longer exists. They also help us to figure out when we are stuck in a cycle of energy revolving around fear, lack, and separations. WHY would we want to numb or avoid this? I’m grateful when my feelings show up to teach me something about myself! When we learn to truly appreciate ALL our feelings, we learn not to be so scared of them.

Today, I’m writing down any perspectives of truth that are making me feel trapped in the energy of fear, lack, and separation. Then, I’m going to write down as many other perspectives I can that can move the energy to love, abundance, and peace. I can take this to the point where it is comical, but the point of this exercise is to realize we have options in how we look at things. We can look at beliefs we have about politics, the pandemic, social justice, past trauma, judgments about ourselves/others, or even traffic. We just need to check in with ourselves on a variety of subjects and see where our energy goes. This can actually be really fun to do with friends. I’ve definitely had some tears running down my face, snorting, and hyperventilating from laughing so hard over doing this exercise in the past with people. I’m laughing just thinking about it. I’m going to enjoy this! I hope you do too!

With Love, Gratitude, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

If you are struggling and need help figuring out where some of your trigger points are that keep you stuck in fear, lack, and separation, you can read more about this in my book Letters from a Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World or you can check out my 90-Day A Better Me Series here on this site. Make sure to start from the beginning. You will soon see where many of your trigger points are.

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth Consciously Defining Love

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

I’ve been watching people throughout this pandemic handle things in much different ways. Some people are stuck in the prisons of their minds. That is one area, I know very well. This month I’ve committed to do a Facebook Live video every week of May to offer some perspectives that will hopefully assist people to tap into the light within them.

Consciously Defining Love

This week’s video is on my absolute favorite subject, LOVE! Defining love was such a vital tool in helping me to set myself free from the prison I was putting myself in. I trust that whoever is supposed to see this video, will.

To anyone feeling unworthy, unlovable, or just plain empty:

I’ve been there. You are not alone and I hope you find comfort in my words.

With Love, Compassion, and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

Https://FromALovingPlace.com/book

Samples of ebook and audiobook are available on Amazon (click for Amazon USA).

Who Is My Reader?

When I was asked in the marketing meeting about who I wanted to read my book, I thought every woman could get something out of it, since it covers romantic relationships, family, parenting, career, spirituality, addiction, unhealthy belief systems, and all things self. I also thought men could gain a lot of understanding and get a lot from it too, because it would not only give them tools, but help to better communication and empower themselves to make positive change in their lives.

For those who struggle in any unhealthy belief patterns, it gives tools to get out. For those who are healthy, it may help them see how their belief systems help them and give them a better understanding of those who struggle.

The book celebrates authentic empowerment. “Empower Yourself, Change the World!” When we see our own value, we lift others up and don’t tear them down. Authentic empowerment comes from love not fear. It’s about representing what we stand for and not putting our energy into what we are against (VERY IMPORTANT in today’s climate).

The marketing team said I needed to narrow it down to the one reader. Who was the one person I wanted to get through to with my book? I had the picture of the exact person in my mind. I want to get to the woman who is stuck in patterns of abuse, whether it be self-abuse or abuse from others, because self-abuse tends to lead to abuse (mental, emotional, or physical) from either bosses, partners, children, etc. We can accept from others the level of abuse that we give to ourselves.Some unhealthy patterns were passed down so unconsciously that we have to dig down to see them.

The book deals with what belief systems got us into the patterns that get us to act against ourselves in our lives and how to change them. There are so many reasons a person can choose to pick up the book, but if I can help that one person see their value and give them the tools to lift themselves out of living a life they are not passionately in love with, I’ve helped to make the world better.

When we help others see their best selves, it creates an unstoppable ripple effect. I would have never been able to write this book, if I didn’t have every experience I did, read every book that I did, and believe everything that I did. I’m continuously learning how to better myself, and I will until my journey here is done. With that, I’m able to continually give others seeds to help lift them as I get lifted.

At the time of this post, March 3, 2020, it’s been two weeks since Letters from a Better Me has been out and a little over that for the audiobook, and the audiobook is still in the Top 100 for Domestic Partner Abuse (link). My heart feels full knowing that people are getting the seeds I’m giving. I hope they choose to plant them and that they flourish into beautiful flowers. Life is precious, we each deserve to live lives we love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff

You can choose from one of your favorite book retailers here: http://FromALovingPlace.com/Book/

Amazon has the book on sale at the time of this post, and it’s the only place to get the audiobook (Audible).You can see a preview of the book and a sample of the audiobook when you click on the link below.

Audible Release Day of Letters from A Better Me

Today is a very exciting day for me. I love audiobooks, and today mine comes out. It feels surreal. The narrator is the wonderful, Kate Mulligan. Her voice is the perfect fit for this book. You can hear a sample when you click on the link.

3 MORE DAYS UNTIL THE PAPERBACK AND EBOOK RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!!!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

Healthy People Don’t Intentionally Hurt Others

To Emotional, Mental, and/or Physical Abusers:

Your pain towards yourselves is very clear. If you were healthy and happy individuals you wouldn’t feel the need to tear someone else down. This is not just to men or women in romantic relationships. This is to the bosses, co-workers, friends, parents, sons, and/or daughters who are out there intentionally hurting others.

In my days of being in an abusive relationship, I became one of you. I called names and used manipulative cunning tools to get my way or to try to one up my abuser. I couldn’t stand the words coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t stand the thoughts going through my head.They were so against my innermost nature. The truth is I hated myself. That is the way I became you. My shame, guilt and lack of self-worth made me feel like there was no other way to escape from my abuser’s verbal attacks.

I believe that people can change, because I’ve been around to see too many people who have for better and/or for worse. One can’t be true without the other. However, I know a great deal of abusers who choose not to change. If you blame ANYONE else for any of your actions, you will not change for the better.

Taking our personal issues out on others doesn’t mean we are bad people, it means we are unhealthy people. There is an issue inside that has gone unhealed, and we are projecting an unhealed part of ourselves out to the world. Does this mean victims should try to fix the person abusing them, feel pity to the point of staying, or put themselves in unsafe situations? NO!!!

The people receiving the emotional, mental, and/or physical beatings aren’t MAKING you do ANYTHING! Your actions, reactions, and feelings are on YOU! You are accountable for every word and action you put out in the world. If you were a happy and healthy person, you would project that to the world. You can’t say you are healthy then tear someone else down in the same breath. If you want to change you have to take a deep hard look at yourself. You have to be honest about how your behavior is affecting your view.You have to look at the beliefs that make it okay for you to do what you do. Everything you say about someone else is a direct reflection of the person you really are. Your darkness comes through in your words. Healthy people don’t intentionally hurt others. 

I accepted abuse for way too long because I hated myself. My abuser couldn’t treat me worse than I treated myself. For every insult I was given I could match it with three. I couldn’t get out until I saw my own worth. I did the same digging. I questioned my beliefs and my behaviors. I had to truly believe that I deserved better than the treatment I was getting. When there was no question about my worth, I left.

My energy level no longer matches that of an abusers’ energy. I now love and respect myself enough to attract healthy people to my life. I know I am lovable and deserve to feel love. I am whole. Therefor, a boss, co-worker, partner, or family member who attempt to abuse me will be met with clear-stated boundaries. Most of all, I will not tear down who I am. I will continue to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated, with love.

I forgave the abusers in my life, but the most important person I forgave is myself. I treated myself horribly. I let how I felt about myself hurt other people I love. That apology was crucial, because without forgiving myself I might have let another one of you affect my inner well-being. I might have went down the shame cycle again doing things that weren’t in the best interests of myself, family, friends, and community. As long as I continue to love myself, I don’t have to take your words and actions personally, because they are just a reflection of your self-hatred. I will pray that you will one day love yourself, so that you no longer hurt the people around you. That is the only interaction I choose to have.  

My goal is to stay healthy and happy so that I will not find my way back to another person like you or become you again. If I see you out there abusing others, I will call you out. I won’t do this to shame you, but in hopes that one day you will see yourself in the eyes of your victims and decide to be better. I will stand up for the victim you are hurting.

Thank you for showing me how important it is to love myself and not believe other people’s opinions of me. Anything I want others to feel about me, I have to feel for myself first. Your actions forced me to move and make the changes I needed in order to have a life I’m proud to be living.

Please, if you find that you are having any thoughts of hurting others, get help. There is a healthier way to live that doesn’t involve anyone having to suffer, including you. We have to stop taking the way we feel inside out on others, and the ONLY way to do that is to get honest with ourselves so that we can heal.

With Forgiveness, Empowerment and Gratitude, 

A Better Me 

Rachael Wolff ©2020, 2018

7 Days Until the Release of Letters from a Better Me!

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

For those who want to read Letters from a Better Me, but can’t afford to buy a copy, or are scared to have it in your house, you can ask your local library to carry it.

A Warning to Social Media Users

Dear Social Media Users,

I know this seems hard to believe, but many of us have been used as a form of narcissist abuse. Many of us have read articles on what narcissists do and we cringe thinking about the poor women, men, and children who have had to suffer at the hands of a narcissist.

The stories might even hit us closer to home. It might have been our family, our friends, or us who is or was the people/person being abused. There are different levels of narcissism, and Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), isn’t easily diagnosed. Yet people with NPD have an amazing tool with social media to continue their extended abuse.

The worst part is we are trained to accept and perpetuate abuse in our society when we are asked to quickly judge women, men, politicians, celebrities, athletes, victims, alleged perpetrators, religious organizations, ethnic backgrounds, businesses, etc. We are so quick to judge that we forget to dig deeper. We post things without investigating to see the background of what we post. We leave comments and emojis, likes, and loves on posts, which are actually perpetuating the problem and making it easier for a narcissist to abuse their victims.

We are actually becoming the very thing that many of us are so sick of seeing. We who were once victims have become perpetrators of hate, fear, and condemnation and many of us do this blindly. We may think we are being a friend, patriot, or fighting for what we stand against. We have become a person who contributes to a narcissist’s playground.

Narcissists love making themselves the victims and making their actual victims the villain. Part of their M.O. is that they turn everyone they can against the actual victim of their abuse. They will do whatever it takes to destroy the reputation of the their victim. They try to turn the victim’s family, friends, employers, and communities against them. Now, do see how social media is a narcissist’s playground 

Healthy people don’t intentionally do things to hurt others. SLOW DOWN, think about what you’re reacting to. It may sound like something you went through, it may trigger you because a friend is posting it, it may sound like you once felt. Just stop and think before you respond to any posts that engage in tearing someone else down on a personal or public level.

I know that most people reading this are good people caught up in societal webs made of judgment. I’m not above it either. Here is just one example, I’ve laughed at a person I thought was drunk on a viral video. Through research I found out the poor woman who has been going through hell in her personal life actually had heat stroke. I was so quick to judge her because it looked like someone in my past who was messed up on drugs and alcohol. Luckily, because I have been the victim of an abuser using social media to TRY to hurt me, I investigated and found out the truth. I was horrified that even after showing proof of what happened, the person showing the video could let it continue to go viral after knowing what this poor woman was actually going through. That is when I saw how easy it is to get caught in this web. 

If you post hateful, uninvestigated, and cruel comments on social media, I won’t engage and perpetuate this problem. I won’t be apart of the energy that is allowing victims to keep getting abused. I commit to investigating claims before I show my support. My mission is to swing the pendulum towards love. I commit to spreading the energy I want to see more of in the world on social media. I’m committed to share the best that humanity has to offer.  

With Love and Gratitude, 

A Better Me

Rachael Wolff ©2020,2018

Letters from A Better Me is available through many online retailers and apps.

Other purchasing options are Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Indiebound.org, Target.com, Walmart.com, and more.

#NarcissisticAbuse #Abuse #SocialMedia #ABetterMe

Here are a few other pieces about narcissistic abuse (click on the links to go to the piece):

5 Ways Narcissists Use Social Media as a Weapon

Social Media: A Narcissist’s Playground

How Researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder Opened My Eyes