Daily Aligning with Love, Abundance, and Peace #49

Taking action towards living the life of our dreams takes courage. Each step is something to be grateful for. I’m grateful for the courage to take action. I really want anyone who is reading this today to celebrate anytime you’ve taken a step towards your dreams. Even if part of taking a step is reading these posts daily. Aligning our energy with love, abundance, and peace is a GIANT step to living our dream lives, because without being aligned we will sabotage ourselves. When we align with the energy of fear, lack, and separation, we might get rich, but still live in lack, We might see success, but constantly fear losing it all. We might think we made it, then separate ourselves from our moral fiber that makes us a good human. To me, that’s not winning.

I want my success to be completely aligned with what brings out the joy in me and others. I want to know I’m serving my purpose, and that the people who are brought to me are seeking to experience life from a place of love, abundance, and peace. I know that everyday I take action, I have the chance to contribute to a better life for myself and others. If you know me, and are reading this, you might say, “I bet she’s crying right now.” You’d be right. The other day, I read something that really hit me.

I feel a deep love in my heart and tears well up as I touch this sacred and Divine part of myself.

Dr. Judith Pentz, Cleanse Your Body, Reveal Your Soul (p.111)

Have you ever had that feeling? Any time I have the courage to take actions that are aligned with love, abundance, and peace, I feel this in the deepest parts of me. The gratitude I feel for that is overwhelming that my body can’t contain it, which is why cleansing tears run down my face.

Today’s challenge is to take action towards our dreams. I don’t care what your dreams are! Breathe in, align yourself with love, abundance, and peace; release your breath——NOW SHIFT! This energy only serves the best in ourselves and humanity if we do something with it. Be courageous and take action. How do you want to use this energy in your life? What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to serve? What step can you take today? NOT tomorrow, right now! It doesn’t have to be a huge step, just a step. Then make the same commit the next day to take another step. We can only get there if we are brave enough to keep moving. I’m not separate from you here, I will be taking at least one step today.

With Love, Abundance, and Peace,

©Rachael Wolff 2020

If you need help taking action, Letters from a Better Me is filled with action steps. You can do this! Just start with a step in the right direction.

Rachael WolffLeave a comment

Do You REALLY Want to Live Better?

7 Steps to Living Better NOW

1. Living Better Doesn’t Happen in the Future

Living better happens right now in this very moment. It doesn’t start this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow. If you are not willing to make a change right now, your story of wanting without getting will continue. Right now, you can write three things you are grateful for. Right now, you can change a thought that you don’t like. Right now, you can choose to take a walk, lift weights, eat better, or dance. Right now, you can improve your mindset. Right now, you can make a list of all the things you do right. OH— You don’t have time? Right now, you can take three long breaths in and exhale them completely. We have time to do something better in each moment we are given. We have to make the conscious choice to make the most of the moment. 

2. Take Control of Your Story

We can choose to believe the things that make us feel worse, or we can choose to believe the things that make us feel better. We weave our stories based on our mindset not on the people, events, and/or situations we are in. The same event can happen to ten different people and each person will process the event differently. Even the most brutal situations like the Holocaust can create some to rise and others to sink. It’s not about the events that happened, it’s about the mindset of the people who survived. I always think of the AMAZING Elie Wiesel, author of Night and Viktor E. Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning. They found meaning in the madness, which led them to lead an amazing lives after their experiences during the Holocaust.  They took control of their stories. We all have that power. For me, I didn’t want any of the trauma I experienced to be a crutch. I needed to find meaning in my madness. Everything got better when I took back control of my story and embraced the concept that my experiences were all necessary for me to live my best life. If we are the victims of our own stories, we are living within our own prisons. 

3. Start the Work Within

Nothing outside of you will fix an inside problem. If you don’t do the inside work, all you are doing is wasting time, money, and energy. Things might feel better for short periods of time, but the results you are searching for won’t stick around if you don’t change what is going on inside. If you don’t look at the person you are and know that you are loyal to what’s in your best interests, trustworthy of your own moral code, loving to the person looking back at you in the mirror, and honest about who you are and want to be—You will never find it outside of yourself. NO person, place, or thing, can MAKE you feel complete except for the person in the mirror. Some have argued to me about their spiritual lives, but if we don’t know how to love ourselves completely, we can’t experience the love that the Universe is offering. When we love ourselves, our connection to our spiritual path strengthens beyond the imaginable. The work starts by committing to love the person you are. It took me writing three things I like/ love about myself for 35 days in order for me to truly embrace the person I am. It will take some shorter periods and others longer, but what is important is to commit to the process. Being cruel to yourself doesn’t get you anywhere. When we self-abuse we feed our stories of why we can’t have the life we want and or own victimhood. Make sure you are treating yourself with the love and respect that you deserve.

4. Be Conscious of the Energy that YOU are Inviting In

We have to invite energy in order to let it effect our lives. This is why someone isn’t capable of making us happy or sad. We choose to invite the energy of those feelings in. The power is in our hands. I know this can be challenging, and I’m the last to tell you that I do this perfectly. It’s okay, because I’m aware and accountable when I’m choosing to experience different energies. When my kids aren’t listening to what I’m telling them to do, they are talking back, and/or screaming at friends during video games, I have lots of choices about the energy I’m going to invite in. I know the calmer I am, the more effective I am. In order to be the best communicator, I have to choose the energy I invite in VERY consciously. I won’t remain calm if I let my hormonal teens’ actions dictate my energy. Just like, my partner can do something to show his love to me, and if I don’t choose to feel the energy of his love, I could spin it into something that stirs my energy in the opposite direction. What energy are you inviting in? When you feel something you like and/or don’t like it’s important to be conscious that you have chosen to engage with whatever energy you are feeling. You have more power than you know. When you become conscious of this, life gets better, because you know you can re-write a piece of your story and the energy you invite in will shift along with it. 

5. Conscious Breaths

In order to keep ourselves present and focused on living better now, we have to stay conscious. One of the easiest ways to do this is by remember to breathe consciously by inhaling to the count of ten, then exhaling to the count of ten for a minimum of three cycles. REMEMBER TO EXHALE! When we stress and/or feel pain, we tend to hold our breath. This limits our oxygen, so you can imagine the effects on our entire system. Our brains need oxygen to work at their greatest capacity, so BREATHE!! Just taking the time to consciously breathe can help you find the answers you need in any given situation. Doing this keeps us from reacting from our old stories and gives us time to create a new and better ones. When we respond to life’s challenges from that place, we live better. 

6. Take Action

You are living in the moment, taking control of your story, working within, inviting in energy consciously, and breathing fully. What better time than right now to take action? What are you going to do right now to live better? 

7. Write it Down

Make the time to write down your new story. This doesn’t have to be complicated or take you hours, it is just about taking time to commit to the new story you are writing for your life. You can put a notebook in your bag, write lists on your phone (YES, there are apps for that), create a file on your computer and/or tablet, have a notebook on your nightstand (I do), etc. Just make the time. We can always find time for what’s important to us. If we want to live better, we have to change the old patterns and excuses that keep us from doing it.  Here are a few examples of what writing it down can look like:

  • A daily gratitude list—gratitude is a story of abundance. 
  • A daily intention list—Gives you goals to help guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day.
  • A daily accomplishment list—documenting how you chose to make your life better today builds on the positive impact of your new story.
  • Write out today’s story—Choose positive perspectives to write out your daily story. Even if you may not have reacted the way you wanted to in the moment: What did you learn from reacting that way? If something like that happened again, what are some positive responses?

You can do one, or do them all. Just commit to what feels right. There is no place for blaming others or self-blaming here. We simply are taking responsibility for the lives we want to live and doing it to the best of our ability in the moment. When we don’t do it in a way that aligns with living better, we take responsibility and learn from it. If we document these things, we have less chance of needing to repeat the lessons. 

I hope you choose to live better now. This is a one step at a time process. It all happens in the moment of Now. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2019 (You can follow me on Facebook)

Are you struggling with digging down to the root of what is keeping you from living better now? Check out my 90-Day A Better Me Series (click the title for the link). The series is FREE and there are no sign-up required. Just sit, read, and take your next step to better living. 

If you’re a woman and you like what you read on this site, check out my new book available for pre-order HERE. 

Whatever you choose to do today, be kind to yourself. You deserve love and respect. Give it to yourself!

Rachael WolffLeave a comment

Social Media: A Narcissist’s Playground

How did we get here?

How did we become easy targets to allow narcissists to abuse their victims?

How is it possible for good people to become perpetrators of narcissist abuse?

How do we open the door unknowingly to be the next victim of narcissist abuse?

Come on, most of us are good people. We are not capable of being perfect. We don’t want to believe that we are capable of perpetuating the abuse of another person. We want to believe what we read. We want to believe that no one would post or say something harmful about someone else if it wasn’t true. We struggle to put ourselves in a narcissist’s mind because we can’t possibly think of calculating such a horrible attack on a person if it wasn’t (in our own minds) deserved.

Rule number one of a malignant narcissist is that they NEVER do ANYTHING wrong. They are the victims of their families, friends, romantic partners, business associates, and communities. You would think that we would be able to spot narcissists easily. Yet, according to the professionals who specialize in the field of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), it’s not as easy as one would hope.  That being said: There can be narcissists in all forms of business (even non-profits), in our communities, on our friend lists, in politics, and sometimes even in our homes.

What Makes Social Media a Narcissist’s Playground?

We are trained to focus on hate, fear, shame, blame, and overall judgment. Of course, a narcissist would love this playground. If you have ever read anything about how a narcissist operates, you know that they calculate turning people against their victim. They attempt to isolate their victim to make the victim become the alleged perpetrator. Social media makes this so easy. We can’t put it past a narcissist to record sections of an argument where the victim is reacting to their abuse, so it comes off sounding like the victim is the crazy one. They find pictures that show the victim not in a good light and without social media knowing the background of that particular moment, get people to engage in commentary bashing the actual victim of the abuse. They can say how innocent they are and how a “CRAZY” mom, dad, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, ex-lover, child, friend, co-worker, boss, employee, and the list goes on an on, DID THIS TO THEM! Wait, you may be thinking we have all done this at some point. The difference, a narcissist has done it to everyone on that list that pertains to his or her lifestyle. Everyex is the crazy one. Everyemployer is in the wrong. Everyemployee is to blame.  Everyfriend has abandoned them or used them. I think you get the point.

Narcissists also use social media to hunt for their next victim. The instant they break up with someone, lose a job, have a fall-out with family, etc. they come to social media to prowl. You might start seeing them everywhere when before the interaction was limited. They look for people to comment on their “poor me” posts and all the sudden instant messages start popping up from them because you understand them and “nobody else understands them.” You are the only one who can rescue them and all the sudden you are on a giant super hero sized pedestal. Then they systematically will destroy your relationships with others and then—

Bang! THEY ARE IN! They prey on people-pleasers, empaths, and caring individuals who have problems with self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, and self-respect. The people who do things for others to gain their own personal value are their perfect targets. We may think we are helping or rescuing them. They act like they care and try to get you to reveal as much personal information as possible so they will be able to use it against you later. A narcissist will attack using anything you possibly have guilt or shame around. If you are a people-pleaser, social media is the perfect grounds for attack because their victim is mortified that people could think that they are anything like the image the narcissist is portraying.

Don’t forget, narcissists can be VERY charming. They act one way when they want something from you and a whole other way when you aren’t there. The question becomes how do we see through this and know when we are contributing to a narcissist’s abuse and/or opening the door to become their next victim?

The answer is we have to become vigilant and really aware of what we are doing on social media. We have to INVESTIGATE! If you don’t have enough time to investigate:

  • Don’t engage
  • Don’t perpetuate in hate, fear, or negative commentary when you don’t know the whole story
  • Don’t JUDGE based on a simple post
  • Don’t like or comment before you know facts
  • If a person is ALWAYS blaming other people…question your connection with the person.
  • If you don’t want to be involved in any potential hate, abuse, or fear tactics edit your friend list and LIKE and FOLLOW pages that don’t engage in it. Only have friends on your list that you truly want IN your life.
  • If you lack self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, and/or are a people-pleaser, work on you so that you don’t become a victim.

Let’s not contribute to letting narcissists use us to hurt others. If you see abuses that can be reported—report them. If you see someone endlessly blaming and shaming others—block them. If you don’t want to perpetuate the hate—stop contributing to it. Be self-aware and vigilant. We are all capable of being fooled on social media. Research before you post or comment.

I hope you will read the companion piece to this one on https://lettersfromabetterme.blogspot.com. Let’s start spreading more love and stop contributing to the energy that gives narcissists a perfect playground.

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With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2018

 

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Rachael Wolff6 Comments