Do You REALLY Want to Live Better?

7 Steps to Living Better NOW

1. Living Better Doesn’t Happen in the Future

Living better happens right now in this very moment. It doesn’t start this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow. If you are not willing to make a change right now, your story of wanting without getting will continue. Right now, you can write three things you are grateful for. Right now, you can change a thought that you don’t like. Right now, you can choose to take a walk, lift weights, eat better, or dance. Right now, you can improve your mindset. Right now, you can make a list of all the things you do right. OH— You don’t have time? Right now, you can take three long breaths in and exhale them completely. We have time to do something better in each moment we are given. We have to make the conscious choice to make the most of the moment. 

2. Take Control of Your Story

We can choose to believe the things that make us feel worse, or we can choose to believe the things that make us feel better. We weave our stories based on our mindset not on the people, events, and/or situations we are in. The same event can happen to ten different people and each person will process the event differently. Even the most brutal situations like the Holocaust can create some to rise and others to sink. It’s not about the events that happened, it’s about the mindset of the people who survived. I always think of the AMAZING Elie Wiesel, author of Night and Viktor E. Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning. They found meaning in the madness, which led them to lead an amazing lives after their experiences during the Holocaust.  They took control of their stories. We all have that power. For me, I didn’t want any of the trauma I experienced to be a crutch. I needed to find meaning in my madness. Everything got better when I took back control of my story and embraced the concept that my experiences were all necessary for me to live my best life. If we are the victims of our own stories, we are living within our own prisons. 

3. Start the Work Within

Nothing outside of you will fix an inside problem. If you don’t do the inside work, all you are doing is wasting time, money, and energy. Things might feel better for short periods of time, but the results you are searching for won’t stick around if you don’t change what is going on inside. If you don’t look at the person you are and know that you are loyal to what’s in your best interests, trustworthy of your own moral code, loving to the person looking back at you in the mirror, and honest about who you are and want to be—You will never find it outside of yourself. NO person, place, or thing, can MAKE you feel complete except for the person in the mirror. Some have argued to me about their spiritual lives, but if we don’t know how to love ourselves completely, we can’t experience the love that the Universe is offering. When we love ourselves, our connection to our spiritual path strengthens beyond the imaginable. The work starts by committing to love the person you are. It took me writing three things I like/ love about myself for 35 days in order for me to truly embrace the person I am. It will take some shorter periods and others longer, but what is important is to commit to the process. Being cruel to yourself doesn’t get you anywhere. When we self-abuse we feed our stories of why we can’t have the life we want and or own victimhood. Make sure you are treating yourself with the love and respect that you deserve.

4. Be Conscious of the Energy that YOU are Inviting In

We have to invite energy in order to let it effect our lives. This is why someone isn’t capable of making us happy or sad. We choose to invite the energy of those feelings in. The power is in our hands. I know this can be challenging, and I’m the last to tell you that I do this perfectly. It’s okay, because I’m aware and accountable when I’m choosing to experience different energies. When my kids aren’t listening to what I’m telling them to do, they are talking back, and/or screaming at friends during video games, I have lots of choices about the energy I’m going to invite in. I know the calmer I am, the more effective I am. In order to be the best communicator, I have to choose the energy I invite in VERY consciously. I won’t remain calm if I let my hormonal teens’ actions dictate my energy. Just like, my partner can do something to show his love to me, and if I don’t choose to feel the energy of his love, I could spin it into something that stirs my energy in the opposite direction. What energy are you inviting in? When you feel something you like and/or don’t like it’s important to be conscious that you have chosen to engage with whatever energy you are feeling. You have more power than you know. When you become conscious of this, life gets better, because you know you can re-write a piece of your story and the energy you invite in will shift along with it. 

5. Conscious Breaths

In order to keep ourselves present and focused on living better now, we have to stay conscious. One of the easiest ways to do this is by remember to breathe consciously by inhaling to the count of ten, then exhaling to the count of ten for a minimum of three cycles. REMEMBER TO EXHALE! When we stress and/or feel pain, we tend to hold our breath. This limits our oxygen, so you can imagine the effects on our entire system. Our brains need oxygen to work at their greatest capacity, so BREATHE!! Just taking the time to consciously breathe can help you find the answers you need in any given situation. Doing this keeps us from reacting from our old stories and gives us time to create a new and better ones. When we respond to life’s challenges from that place, we live better. 

6. Take Action

You are living in the moment, taking control of your story, working within, inviting in energy consciously, and breathing fully. What better time than right now to take action? What are you going to do right now to live better? 

7. Write it Down

Make the time to write down your new story. This doesn’t have to be complicated or take you hours, it is just about taking time to commit to the new story you are writing for your life. You can put a notebook in your bag, write lists on your phone (YES, there are apps for that), create a file on your computer and/or tablet, have a notebook on your nightstand (I do), etc. Just make the time. We can always find time for what’s important to us. If we want to live better, we have to change the old patterns and excuses that keep us from doing it.  Here are a few examples of what writing it down can look like:

  • A daily gratitude list—gratitude is a story of abundance. 
  • A daily intention list—Gives you goals to help guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day.
  • A daily accomplishment list—documenting how you chose to make your life better today builds on the positive impact of your new story.
  • Write out today’s story—Choose positive perspectives to write out your daily story. Even if you may not have reacted the way you wanted to in the moment: What did you learn from reacting that way? If something like that happened again, what are some positive responses?

You can do one, or do them all. Just commit to what feels right. There is no place for blaming others or self-blaming here. We simply are taking responsibility for the lives we want to live and doing it to the best of our ability in the moment. When we don’t do it in a way that aligns with living better, we take responsibility and learn from it. If we document these things, we have less chance of needing to repeat the lessons. 

I hope you choose to live better now. This is a one step at a time process. It all happens in the moment of Now. 

With Love and Gratitude, 

Rachael Wolff ©2019 (You can follow me on Facebook)

Are you struggling with digging down to the root of what is keeping you from living better now? Check out my 90-Day A Better Me Series (click the title for the link). The series is FREE and there are no sign-up required. Just sit, read, and take your next step to better living. 

If you’re a woman and you like what you read on this site, check out my new book available for pre-order HERE

Whatever you choose to do today, be kind to yourself. You deserve love and respect. Give it to yourself!

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 39 – Getting Comfortable With the Unknown

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 39: Getting Comfortable With the Unknown

Dear Universe,

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I can’t predict the future. I know worrying, anticipating, and putting energy in what I think should happen puts a lot of pressure on me. That doesn’t fill me with loving energy, that fills me with fear. What I can do is control the energy I put into this moment. I can get comfortable with the unknown because I’m choosing to make this moment count. I’m holding myself accountable for my feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions that I am experiencing now. By doing this, I can put my best energy forward. I don’t I have the power to change the unknown future by taking my energy out of today. It’s what I do today that matters.

I know that anything I experience is for a reason. If I don’t want to set myself up to fight reality I don’t have to put pressure on myself to work for an unknown future. I can work for the life I want right now in this moment. I can make sure I’m using my energy wisely to make choices that create a loving energy within and around me. I can focus my energy on being accepting of what is and what my energy has created so far. Living in acceptance of my past, present, and unknown future widens my perspective to make healthier choices for myself, which in-turn is better for the people around me.

I’m getting comfortable with the unknown. I’m enjoying the fact that I don’t know. I’m here, right now. That is an incredible gift to be grateful for. I’m getting more and more accepting that when plans change, that it’s okay, because it all works out the way it is supposed to. I’m getting comfortable with making plans in a moments notice and seeing the blessings the adventures bring. I’m getting excited for the wrong turn when I find a scenic view that I never would have seen if I had stayed with my GPS. I’m learning to embrace the moment when things don’t go they way I thought they would. It’s just a reminder that nothing is set in stone and it opens me up to experience the unknown in a more present way. With a healthier energy my life will attract healthier people and situations.

The Law of Attraction works with the energy I’m focusing on, so my focus is on making sure I’m living the life I want to be living now. If there are things I don’t like, I have the power to change my perspective, remove myself from the situation, or stay in my darkness. The choice is mine. Today, I’m focusing on projecting my light on the unknown.

I no longer want to miss the life I’m living because my head is stuck in the past or the unknown future. My energy belongs in today, so I can enjoy the unknown with peace in my heart.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 39 – Welcoming the Unknown

If you haven’t been following the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series, you can catch up by scrolling down and looking under categories. Enjoy the journey!

Enjoying My Happily Ever Now

This year for my birthday I received a beautiful surprise, my boyfriend of almost three years took me ring shopping. Wait, I know where some of your heads are going, because most of the people I said this to went there too… this is about happily ever now, not happily ever after. We went from jewelry store to jewelry store looking for a ring that was right. Finally, in one jewelry store, I narrowed it down to two rings. I couldn’t decide. He told the salesmen, “We’ll take them both.” I thought about it, these are both ring finger rings. I’m the type of person who wears the same necklace for months and/or years; I don’t want to be switching out my rings. I needed to make sure that he’d be comfortable with me wearing the rings at the same time. I said cautiously, “That means one will have to go on my left ring finger.” Just like I guessed, it didn’t bother him, so graciously accepted both rings.

As I told people, of course they didn’t know if it was “the ring”, so reactions ranged from cautious to curious to say the least. People also didn’t know how I would feel about it not being “the ring”. I understood every reaction. They actually made me become aware of how I really felt about receiving my presents. The answer, I felt and feel great about it. I’m at a time in my life where I’m not looking for a fixed future; I’m completely submerged in my journey of the now. I love the adventure I’m on with my partner and in my life as a whole. Right now, I have no idea what any of my future looks like. I don’t know where my kids, career, or relationship will take me.

I wanted to come up with something if I was going to wear a ring on my left hand. Then it came to me, this is my Happily Ever Now Ring. Calling it this, encapsulates my joy in wearing the ring and in the moment I’m in.

image2Him and I are adventurous souls. We love and respect that about each other. As the saying goes, “We go where the wind takes us.” So, marriage and planning a future like that of marriage is just not where either of us are. I have never been more in love with a man. I fall deeper in love and respect for the person he is with every passing year. I know if the wind takes us away from each other, we will be there to support each other’s adventures.

When I get out of the now, I get stressed. If I start wondering about what the future holds; forget it!! I start doing self-sabotaging and my walls start to go up. When I stay present, I can see each moment and enjoy the process. Everything becomes about enjoying the experience. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I want to be open to the best that life has to offer for all of us. Today, by enjoying my happily ever now, I am doing just that.

With Love and Gratitude,

Rachael Wolff ©2017