90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 33 – How Love Transcends Fear

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 33: How Love Transcends Fear

“Even in the darkness it is possible to create light.”

-Elie Wiesel

Yesterday, I talked about The Power of Love. Today, we will expand on how love transcends fear. Many people want to jump to fixing others and fixing the world before they take a look at themselves. We can’t change others so the efforts often will deplete us. Our light (love) is projected from the inside. We have to feel the love inside us in order to transcend the fear within and around us.

Have you ever noticed the difference in your actions if they have the pure intention of love instead of fear? Have you noticed how serving yourself and others feels different in your body based on the intention behind what you are doing? The difference is that deeds completed with love expand us.

Knowing an accurate definition of love is KEY to our understanding of the energy we are putting out there. If you missed yesterday’s post, I hope you will go back and check it out, because honestly, without an accurate definition of love, we can trick ourselves into believing that our fearful actions are because of love. This is a cycle that will only create more insanity and fear. Fearful actions done in the name of love just add darkness and our light gets dimmer.

Once we know our definition, we can measure our feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions according to that definition. When we do this, our world opens up and love truly transcends the fear just by becoming aware that it is there. It’s like using a dimmer switch to increase the light in the room. Once we notice how our own feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions are contributing to the light, or adding to the darkness, it makes it possible to see others feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions clearly. The love in us can serve the fear in them, if and only if, we stay within the light.

Think about parents, often unknowingly, they feel their fear is serving their child to protect them. I’ve fallen into this trap plenty of times. It is very easy to do because we want to keep our children safe. Our fears create fears in them. Then when they become adults, many parents try to use the same approach to their children that they did in childhood, but the adult children react much different. They are more conscious of the weight of their parent’s fears and they don’t want to carry it. The parent’s fears add to their child’s darkness. If adult children are fighting their own darkness, the exchange can become explosive. Both parent and child are fighting  a war using darkness as their weapon.

Now, if a parent uses light (love), the adult child doesn’t feel that defensiveness towards their parent, because they don’t feel attacked. They still might react, but the parent won’t take the reaction personally and feel the need to attack back. The parent will know that the child is responding to their own darkness, and by sending love into the situation, the parent gets the opportunity to truly shine a little light, but in the end the child has to choose to accept it or deny it. When a parent is truly sending love, they are not insisting on their own way. That is ego and fear (darkness).

This scenario can easily be reversed or switched to friend, professional, intimate, sibling, and/or extended relationships. Love can only transcend fear if we don’t succumb to fear. When we feel the fear stir in us, our lesson becomes to be aware enough to take a step back and reframe our feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions. Don’t think for a second that I’ve mastered this one. I’m not sure I ever will, but I know I learn from my fears, which is sending light to them. I show my fears love and don’t beat myself up over them anymore. I still have to apologize to people when I project my darkness onto them, in turn sending light to the situation. Once again, love transcends fear. It’s a lot easier than a mind spinning makes it. The key is slowing down. If someone responds badly to something we do or say, we can ask ourselves was I acting/responding from a loving place, or were my fears playing into how I was treating the person. When I was being emotionally abused, I really had to dig deep when I was starting to find my way out of the darkness, but it is possible, even in the face of hate being spewed at you.

When we take responsibility for our darkness, we send light to it. In turn, our love transcends the fear. Other people are responsible for their own darkness. They can choose to see our light or turn away from it. That is their journey. When they are ready to let love transcend their fears, they will know where to find it.

Just for Today

Visualize the light of love inside you. Let is permeate through your body from head to toe. One of my favorite places to do this exercise is in the shower. I imagine the water is an all nourishing and loving light touching every part of me. When you do this exercise, feel the difference in your feelings, thoughts, and body. If it worked, love transcended fear. Feel the beauty of that! It may only last for the time you are doing the exercise—Embrace the moment! The brighter we shine, the less chance the darkness has in taking us over.

If you see me repeating messages, there is a scientific reason. In order to re-wire our brains we have to hear the same messages over and over. Just think about how many times you have repeated fearful messages to yourself over and over. I repeat them for me as much as I’m repeating them for the person reading this. If there are messages you want to really stick, write them down, hang them up, and repeat them to yourself until you feel and hear them in your head when you are faced with challenges. This is how we transcend messages of fear into love in our own heads.

Thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying the 90-Day A Better Me Series and the 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series. My soul is filled when I can share about living life from a loving place. Writing expands the love within me and transcends my fears through seeing what comes up as I write. It truly is an amazing process. I’m so grateful to get up each morning and write with love in my heart. I do remember a day when my words were filled with darkness. Elie Wiesel’s quote above holds so much meaning to me, because by not giving up on myself and letting the fear consume me, I gave myself space to feel and give love in the most authentic of ways.

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 33 – Converting Messages of Fear into Messages of Love

 

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 32 – Seeing Through the Eyes of Love

Letters from A Better Me

90-Day A Better Me Letters Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 32: Seeing Through the Eyes of Love

Dear Self,

I’ve found the definition of love that holds the most power for me.

Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

-Corinthians 13.4-13.7

From this point on I will hold myself accountable to this definition of love. I will take responsibility for my feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions when they are aligned and when they fall short of living my life from a loving place. I will embrace the dark parts of me with the light I know that shines inside of me. I will allow myself to FEEL honestly and not be ashamed of myself for having dark feelings. Then I will focus on using love’s light to cleanse my darkness and release it from me, so that I do my best not to take my darkness out on others.

I will allow myself to feel the power of this love and be aware when others are operating from their darkness. I will remind myself to send those who are suffering light instead of condemnation.  I know that it takes light to shine on the darkness, so I will do my best not to contribute to the darkness of others.

I commit to seeing through the eyes of love and letting that light be my guidepost. I know that anything I do through this authentic love will fill me up and bring me closer to the Divine. I’m ready to get intimate with the power of love.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

A Better Me

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

 

Don’t forget to read Day 32: The Power of Love from the 90-Day A Better Me Series

 

90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 32 – The Power of Love

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 32: The Power of Love

“Love is patient; Love is kind; Love is NOT envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; It is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in Wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

-Corinthians 13.4-13.7

Love is the light that shines through us. Love is the light that lights the tunnel when we are trapped in the dark. In Part I Day 3, I covered THE POWER OF FEAR, and through the next few days I focused on how fear affects our lives. One of the biggest issues is the confusion between love and fear. Many of us have been taught that people were acting in fear-based ways because they love us. Why wouldn’t we be confused? I’ve heard the passage above so many times throughout my life, but NEVER used it as my actual definition of love. Then, when I was in the heart of being degraded and screamed at and the person yelling was telling me they were doing it because they loved me, I looked up the definition of love and this is what came up. I’ve written about how this definition has worked in my life multiple times since I started this blog in 2016. I keep it at the center of what I do, because I am committed to living my life from a loving place. I want the reminder of when I’m operating from love or fear.

Living by this definition of love has empowered my life. It has helped me to see the journey of perspective clearly and with compassion. When we remove the fear from our internal definitions, LOVE is transforming. We become aware of the times we weren’t engaging in the energy of love and when we were in the grips of our fears.

Soul prayers, positive vibes, encouragement, empathy, acceptance, and compassion all come from the power of love.  Just to clarify, I consider soul prayers the prayers that don’t involve our egos. We are not praying for our own way. We trust the love in the Universe to do the job of the light and send love into whatever situation we are praying about. We are not engaging in our fears of believing we know what is best in particular situations.

If we imagine love, joy, acceptance, gratitude, empathy, self-worth, and compassion are light and hate, fear, judgment, shame, and blame are dark, when we shine the light onto the dark we light it up. If we ourselves feed the dark to fight it, we are only adding more dark. We can’t see, we are insisting on our own way. That’s not love. Love is the only thing that will make it possible for us to see. Whether we are facing our own darkness or the darkness of others; the power of love changes lives—Starting with our own!

We all have light and darkness within us. We don’t need to crush, fight, suppress, kill, or smother the darkness. We just need to shine light on it. That is the power of love. I used to think I had to deny the darkness in me (I can still struggle with that from time to time). I would feel shame and guilt for having feelings that were uncomfortable and dark. I fought my shadow instead of wrapping my arms around that piece of me; I condemned her in her darkness. By doing this I just created more. Learning that the darkness blocks me from the life I want was a HUGE step. An even bigger one was not denying when I was having dark feelings and sending light into them. Numbing our darkness is saying it shouldn’t be there and that it’s not apart of us. We are denying the reality that it is apart of us and it needs our light too.

Understanding we can be in the dark and learn from it, is us shining the light on our darkness without creating more dark. We can’t be afraid of what comes up within us. Each feeling has an important lesson to teach us about life. By facing the lesson, we bring light to our darkest corners—We ignite the POWER OF LOVE.

Just for Today

Figure out what is the best definition of love for you. What definition fills your soul when you read it? There are multiple versions of even this Corinthians passage. You want to feel an emotional connection to your definition. It’s not about being right or wrong. If we want to know the POWER OF LOVE, we need to be able to define what that means to us. Otherwise, how would you recognize it if it was right in front of your face?

Thank you for reading!

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Did you read today’s companion piece? 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 32 – Seeing Through the Eyes of Love

Have you missed any day of the series? All you have to do is scroll down to CATEGORIES and pull-up the 90-Day A Better Me Series and 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series and they are both at your fingertips. Happy Reading!