90-Day A Better Me Series: Day 57 – Being Clear on What You Stand For

90-Day A Better Me Series

Part II: A Journey of Perspective

What Launches Us Forward: The Stable Foundation

Day 57: Being Clear on What We Stand For

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

When we come from a place of love for ourselves, we can clearly see what we stand for. We don’t try to conform to fit into other people’s journeys. We honor ours. “Normal” is a container that we don’t belong in. We are open to serve our purpose with clarity, love, and compassion. We each have our own unique ways of giving back, paying it forward, and standing up to represent the changes we want to see in the world. None of us are going to do this the exact same way. What is important is that we are being clear on what we stand for and that we are engaging the light (love) within us, not the dark (fear) within us.

In Part I of this series I talked about the energy of against (Day 23). This is an energy that can easily blind us. This is where our fears, rage, anger, entitlement, and/or hatred can take over and take the energy away from what we are really standing for. Fear represents the dark spots within us. These are the spots that need light in order not to create toxic blocks. It’s not about the word against, but the energy that is put into the word. If we are so angry that we are using that as fuel to guide us, we are breathing darkness into the situation. We are dimming our light.

If we can step back and remember the wise words of Mother Teresa,

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We can step back, gain some perspective and thoroughly look at those feelings of against and figure out how to transform them into what we actually stand for.

Here are just a few examples:

  • I’m against racism/ I’m for treating each other as equals
  • I’m against sexual harassment/ I’m for individuals getting treated with respect
  • I’m against drugs/ I’m for individuals finding healthy ways to experience life
  • I’m against war/ I’m for finding ways to communicate through our different perspectives

Be clear on what makes you want to stand up for. Be clear by being responsible for the energy you are putting into your actions. I’m brought to tears of love and compassion when I see men and women speaking about what they stand for, but if all I can hear from the message is what their against, I stop listening and I’m done. This is one of the things that make politics difficult for me to watch. I find it harder and harder to figure out what people are standing for. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson (quoted multiple times in this series) has been activist and working her way into the political scene. She first ran in California. I wondered how she was going to be able to use her powerful voice in politics. Now, she has announced that she is running for President in 2020. I listened to her speeches and I was brought to tears. I watched her interviews with very skeptical reporters, and I was brought to tears. I knew exactly what her messages represented and what she stood for.

There have been politicians on both the Republican and Democratic side who I heard the messages of what they stood for, it doesn’t matter if I believe in the same things they do, I just want to hear people’s passion for their causes without attacking others for not believing the same things or having different ideas. Every society is built from many different perspectives of truth. If we are just focusing on whether a person is from one political party or another, we can miss seeing the human standing up in front of us. This human is responsible for being the voice for many different perspectives of truth.

Think of a family, churches, religions, charities, etc. Even within a part of what a collective society of individuals who have a similar love for what is being represented aren’t going to agree with each other all the time. If we speak to each other in ways where we can clearly see where each other are coming from, we know that the person listening cares about our voice even if we don’t agree with their perspective of truth, it opens possibilities for innovative solutions. It helps leaders communicate clearly why they are choosing to do what they do.

Will everyone listen? Of course not, some people are so lost in their personal perspectives of truth they can’t hear anything outside of it. That is fear talking. We miss seeing love in action if we only are willing to see perspectives of truth that keep us contained. If a belief causes stress or for you to hate (engaging your darkness), it is a belief to think about shifting. Hate is an energy that you put out into the world and it creates more of it. You aren’t representing what you stand for by putting out that kind of energy. You are representing what you are against.

What if, instead of taking the war on drugs, we put that energy into finding solutions to how to relieve people’s pain without needing harmful medications? What if we found solutions in the schools that helped children get the tools to learn how to feel and cope with stress in a natural way? What if we taught people to feel through their emotional pain instead of suppressing it? What if we had conversations about being proactive about mental health instead of treating the problem after the addiction has already set-in? What if we brought mindfulness into all the schools? What if we taught children about how to experience natural highs? What if we taught children the importance of being the friend who watches out for the people they care about?

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When we take responsibility for our own energy that we are putting into our families, our romantic relationships, our causes, our passions, our politics, our spiritual and/or religious practices, and ourselves, we become consciously aware of if we are contributing to the light (what we stand for that represents loving action) or our darkness (the fear of what we are against). When we become responsible for the energy we put out there, we can question ourselves when we see that we are feeding our own dark energies, because whatever we put out there will come back to us. I know I’ve brought up Karma, the Law of Attraction, and religious principles that all agree. This is not about judgment—this is about energy! Energy is the boomerang that will keep coming back.

Just for Today

Write down a list of things you stand for. Check-in with yourself to see if you are representing  love or fear. Then write of list coming from a loving place of ways you can represent what you stand for by shining your light. Any time a fearful thought comes up, write it down and work through it until it can transcend into a loving action. After doing this exercise really pay attention to your energy and how you feel.

When I spend the time on this exercise, I feel better. I feel lighter, and I notice the beauty of the things around me more. It’s a pretty amazing process. I don’t question why Jesus chose to act in complete loving action no matter what others believed, because it really does create an AMAZING energy that shines an incredible light on the lives that are touched by the light inside of us. You don’t have to believe in any particular organized religion, political party, and/or lifestyle to be touched by how individuals represent loving action. We show who we are by being able to move past all the our differences and see the love within and behind the people who are following their own inner light. It really is a beautiful journey and one that has the opportunity to connect us on a deeper level.

Thank you for reading! I can only hope you hear my love through the pages I write, whether you have the same beliefs or different ones, I’m so grateful for your time.

 

With Love and Gratitude,

 

Rachael Wolff ©2019

Don’t forget to read today’s companion piece: 90-Day A Better Me Letters Series: Day 57 -What I Represent in the World

 

 

 

Give Yourself the Love You Deserve

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“Thoughts are like data programmed into a computer, registered on the screen of your life. If you don’t like what you see on the screen, there’s no point in going up to the screen and trying to erase it. Thought is Cause; experience is Effect. If you don’t like the effects in your life,  you have to change the nature of your thinking.

Love in your mind produces love in your life.”

-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love p. 24

I was scanning Facebook, and I kept seeing articles and memes about love and relationships. I saw very few on being in-love with ourselves. No relationship will cure a lack within us. Believe me, I have tried. It always ended the same way, and I kept repeating the same cycle for a long time.

If we have an expectation of someone else, it is usually because we are not giving ourselves what we need.

When we don’t take care of ourselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, we start taking it out on those around us. We expect them to do what we are not doing for our own well being. If we respect ourselves, the people we are with will have no other choice than to respect us too. Why? We won’t allow otherwise. Our boundaries of how we will let someone treat us will become crystal clear, and it will not be done with force.

If we find ourselves having to use force, we still have work to do. Something inside us is still feeling insecure. Our energies will only attract like energies. If we keep attracting wonderful people to our lives, it is because our energy is aligned with theirs.

If we keep attracting people who we feel hurt by, it is because we are somehow hurting ourselves. How do we change this? How do we make our already good relationships even better? How do start attracting the relationships with family, friends, and significant others that we want?

We have to nurture our relationship with ourself. Yes! Be the very person we want to see in someone else. This is not just a throw-a-way line. Many people think that if we are nice to others, we should EXPECT that in return. NO! We can’t expect others to do anything, but what we can do is EXPECT that of the way we treat ourselves.

Self-love creates healthy boundaries for all relationships. We put out an energy that tells people how to treat us. We will not accept people being cruel to us. We will be able to walk away from the situation in a loving way. This doesn’t mean we will walk away from a person just because they are having a bad day. It means that their behavior won’t eat at our foundation. We will not let their thoughts about the world alter our loving core. If they are hurting we will be able to give them love, because we will know that their hurt is their journey.

We won’t even attract cruelty anymore. There is a energy force field that surrounds loving energy and it only grows and expands. Will we have bad days? Yes! Will we slip into old behavior patterns? Yes! Will we be given new lessons that we didn’t even know we had coming? OH YES! The kinder we are to ourselves during our slips tells us how far we have come and how much farther we have to go.

If we can’t treat ourselves as special as we want someone else to treat us, there is a problem. It will keep coming up until the lesson is learned. Taking the plunge with ourself doesn’t ensure that we will all the sudden meet our life long partner, but it does mean, we can enjoy the relationships that are presented to us. The lessons will be softer and recovery time will be shorter.

I have been amazed what a year of truly being committed to myself did for me. When I started treating myself right, I was able to give more of myself to others. The best part, I don’t hold it against them. If you want to read my personal journey about this please read my post, “Discovering the Meaning of Love”. All I know is that when I invested the time in myself, my world changed.

For those of you who want a more substantial love life, I invite you to have a love affair with yourself. Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself as good as you are willing to treat the people around you.  Make it special! If you can put the effort into someone else, you can definitely put the effort into you. Visit me on Facebook and tell me what you are doing for yourself. Enjoy the love affair. This is a relationship worth investing in!